A couple of times a year, I freak out and think I've contracted herpes. so far, luckily, I have been mistaken and I'm still clean. I still worry, though. It seems to be one of the only STDs it is difficult to protect against as condoms don't really reduce the risk of female-to-male transmission of genital herpes from vaginal sex.

I know that many, if not most people here also participate in unprotected oral sex. I know it's a low risk activity and oral herpes does not infect the genital area readily, so I'm not as worried about that. It's really the fact that you can still get genital herpes from protected vaginal sex that bothers me.

Depending on who you ask anywhere between 15% and 25% of America adults have genital herpes (and many, if not most might not even know). That's a huge amount of people. At the same time, it still has a huge stigma and for some people, can be quite an annoying disease to deal with (and one that is incurable).

Transmission rates are said to be 3% (female to male) per year from sex with an infected partner, but abstaining from sex during outbreaks. That is very vague, though, "per year", what does that mean? Sex once a week? Three times a week? Once a month? How often does a monogamous couple have sex? Assuming once a week, that means your risk of getting herpes from a provider from protected vaginal sex if she is infected but when she is not having an outbreak would be 1 in 1700 or so. Assuming a 25% infection rate of providers your risk is only 1 in 7000 or so. I would guess that the infection rate of providers would be higher, though, simply because of the increased amount of sex and number of partners they have.

So, on one hand, your risk of herpes from a single encounter is 1 in a 1000 or likely far less, but possibly 1 in 5 people out there are infected. It seems like these numbers don't make sense.

Anyways, I will stop rambling, and I'm curious to hear other people's thoughts on the matter. Anyone out there willing to admit they have herpes (post on a pseudonym if you want)? Has it adversely affected your life? Did you end up infected your partners? I hear a lot about herpes but I only know 1 person in real life that I know who has ever admitted to having it (and she never was completely upfront and only implied she did). Is it worth even getting tested for it if I've never had an outbreak (I've been tested for it before but don't get tested for it regularly). I'm curious to hear peoples thoughts on this.

As a side note, planned parenthood quotes a statistic that says that 50% of people will get an STD before the age of 25. That's seems a bit unbelievable. What STD are these young adults all getting? Herpes? Genital warts? I wonder sometimes about their statistics.

Chlamydia is quite popular, women usually have no symptoms.

Newb here. but going from what i've read. i good professional provider should be an expert on avoiding these diseases. maybe you can do your part to spot the symtoms.

better a professional than that one girl at the bar in the bathroom

Clean up before and after. avoid all that icky contact with condoms and light kissing then.

i feel yah though. im going prepared.....

that transmission can occur even if you're asymptomatic.

Also, most STDs don't appear like the nasty photos they showed you in high school, basic training, or on the web. These are usually fairly advanced. For some reason they don't show early stages images.

Finally someone almost as paranoid as myself about herpes.  It's probably the main thing keeping me from jumping into the hobby.  Like yourself, I had done some rough back-of-the-envelope calculations for contracting herpes from a single instance of protected sex with an infected but asymptomatic partner, and came up with a number somewhere between 1 in 100 and 1 in a 1000.  Sadly, I'm so paranoid that even that number discourages me from partaking.

As you noted, condoms don't provide much protection, partly because the viral particles are shed from the skin surface as opposed to being in bodily fluids.  Skin-to-skin contact is sufficient to infect.  From the reading I've done, I can't determine whether a break in the skin is necessary.

Here are the additional precautions I would take - in addition to completely safe sex: avoiding any breaks in the skin, i.e. if you like to shave down there do it a few days ahead of time; showering afterwards to perhaps wash off viral particles; maybe using a female condom so as to cover more surface area and minimize skin-to-skin contact.  I should note that I have no idea how effective these measures would be.

In the end, I've come to the conclusion that there's always some risk which can be minimized but not eliminated entirely.  Of course, my paranoia is such that I'm convinced that I'd be the one unlucky enough to "lose" the spin of the roulette wheel, no matter what precautions I take.

“So, on one hand, your risk of herpes from a single encounter is 1 in a 1000 or likely far less, but possibly 1 in 5 people out there are infected. It seems like these numbers don't make sense”

First you have to recognize that since herpes is incurable unlike other curable STDs the ratio of herpes infected to no herpes infected will increase in the population as function of age and length of time being sexual active.  Assuming the risk is 1/1000 (I agree it probably very mush less) per encounter the risk of not being infected is 999/1000.  The risk of not being infected after 2 and 3 encounters is [1-(999/1000)(999/1000)] and [1-(999/1000)(999/1000)(999/1000)] respectively.  In our life time we have hundreds if not thousands of encounters.  The risk of infection after 100, 500, 1000, 5000 life time encounters is 10%, 39%, 63%, and 93% respectively. This means  with a risk of 1/1000 we can expect 10%, 39%, 63%, and 93% of the people to be infected after 100, 500, 1000, 5000 life time encounters. Assuming we average 1500 life time encounters the risk can be a low as1/5000-1/10000 to result in 1/5 to 1/4 people to be infected.

“As a side note, planned parenthood quotes a statistic that says that 50% of people will get an STD before the age of 25. That's seems a bit unbelievable. What STD are these young adults all getting? Herpes? Genital warts? I wonder sometimes about their statistics.”

Well I demonstrate it easy to see why 1/4 will get herpes.  Also HPV infections are way more common than herpes.  It has been estimated that 75 percent of reproductive age women and men have been infected with genital HPV at some point in their lives.  Often the HPV infection resolves without treatment with only 1% of the population being infected with HPV at any one time.  Also we have the more than 1 million new infection of Chlamydia, Gonorrhea each year.  There are many other STDs than theses we are most familiar with. Most of these well known and not so well known infections occur for first time before the age of 25. Nothing wrong with Planned Parenthood quoted statistic!

I'm curious how you came up with the estimate of being 1 in a 100 and 1 in a 1000. I came up with roughly between 1 in a 1,000 and 1 in 10,000. So it's not very likely for a single encounter.

On the plus side, herpes is annoying but doesn't cause any real health problems. Most of the other STDs can cause serious problems (such as sterility) and can even kill you if left untreated. There is also effective treatment for herpes and breakouts tend to decrease over time. I think that I've been so paranoid about getting it and have been convinced that I have so many times that if I actually got herpes, it would no longer be such a big deal.

I'm very careful too. I clean myself thoroughly with hydrogen peroxide immediately afterward and visually inspect (as well as I can, at least) whomever I am with beforehand.

I think I'm in the minority when it comes to being careful, though. I've also tested providers with instant oral HIV tests too, lol. (And yes, they've always been more than willing).

Thanks, Your numbers make sense. I guess most people just have way more sex than I do, lol.

If you are that paranoid you may want to visit with FBSM providers and simply request no body sliding.  The body/body contact is minimized and a good practitioner will still leave you relaxed and smiling.

FBSM with minimized body contact is like kissing your sister and paying for it.I suggest they keep to free self love for anyone that paranoid.  The only thing they have to paranoid about is the possibility of going blind.

I'll admit my estimate was pretty hand-wavey and probably wrong.  I should note that my estimate had one simplifying assumption, since in many cases the person may be asymptomatic or in between outbreaks I did my calculations just assuming the provider is infected.

Just a couple of questions about your precautions: is there a way to tactfully do a visual inspection, or do you just take as good a look as you can as matters unfold?  In any event, I'm guessing in most cases an infected provider would at least be smart enough not to work during an active outbreak.

Assuming you do incalls, do you bring a bottle of hydrogen peroxide with you to appointments?  And do you just pour some on the area in question to sterilize?

Good to see other hobbyists taking some extra precautions!

Oh my god, I could go blind from masturbation?  I think I better stop now!

Please look into Ozone Therapy both as a preventative and a treatment.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BHNK9NCFnZ8&feature=related

Genital herpes is a sexually transmitted disease (STD) caused by the herpes simplex viruses type 1 (HSV-1) or type 2 (HSV-2). Most genital herpes is caused by HSV-2. Most individuals have no or only minimal signs or symptoms from HSV-1 or HSV-2 infection. When signs do occur, they typically appear as one or more blisters on or around the genitals or rectum. The blisters break, leaving tender ulcers (sores) that may take two to four weeks to heal the first time they occur. Typically, another outbreak can appear weeks or months after the first, but it almost always is less severe and shorter than the first outbreak.  Although the infection can stay in the body indefinitely, the number of outbreaks tends to decrease over a period of years.



Results of a nationally representative study show that genital herpes infection is common in the United States. Nationwide, 16.2%, or about one out of six, people 14 to 49 years of age have genital HSV-2 infection. Over the past decade, the percentage of Americans with genital herpes infection in the U.S. has remained stable.

Genital HSV-2 infection is more common in women (approximately one out of five women 14 to 49 years of age) than in men (about one out of nine men 14 to 49 years of age). Transmission from an infected male to his female partner is more likely than from an infected female to her male partner.



HSV-1 and HSV-2 can be found in and released from the sores that the viruses cause, but they also are released between outbreaks from skin that does not appear to have a sore. Generally, a person can only get HSV-2 infection during sexual contact with someone who has a genital HSV-2 infection. Transmission can occur from an infected partner who does not have a visible sore and may not know that he or she is infected.

HSV-1 can cause genital herpes, but it more commonly causes infections of the mouth and lips, so-called “fever blisters.” HSV-1 infection of the genitals can be caused by oral-genital or genital-genital contact with a person who has HSV-1 infection. Genital HSV-1 outbreaks recur less regularly than genital HSV-2 outbreaks.