So I am not really a hobbyist since I have not ever been with a provider but I am interested.  I have been spending a lot of reading time here on the newbie board and am finding the whole concept fascinating.  My question probably has been answered already but I wanted to throw it out there anyway.  Do most providers enjoy what they do?  One of the things that I would worry about is that I am somehow exploiting the beautiful lady but then I read about all the great reviews some providers get and think they can not be not having a good time.  I would really like to hear from others about what they think even if it is to tell me I am crazy.

Thank you in advance.

I think that men have a hard time understanding this... because of a fundamental difference in our anatomy- ie men PHYSICALLY cannot have sex if not somewhat ARROUSED!

A provider's "enjoyment" is a complex thing- no offence guys- but FAR more complex than a simple erection!

Some women enjoy-

- a flexible scedule
- finacial security
- a variety of sexual partners
- lively conversations with said partners
- commradery with other women
- living outside of society's restrictive psycho-sexual views
- etc etc etc

Sometimes enjoyment = orgasm and sometimes it doesn't.

is he respectful
clean
mannerly

sure, then we are having a great time..

If you find a good lady she will show you a good time.  I have been with some lousy ladies who DID NOT want to be there and it was pretty obvious.  I have also been with plenty of good ladies who did not have an orgasm even though I had a great time.  I did not feel like I was exploiting them any more than they made me feel like I was just a guy with an envelope full of cash.

Now, if you are really lucky you will find a gal who is able to, under the right set of circumstances, let herself go and enjoy the moment. In a case like this, how you treat the lady will have as much to do with her reaction as her attitude will.

Good luck and happy hunting!

I can relate to your question. Fake moans and fake "0"s, which I suspect is often the case, would detract from the experience for me. I wonder if providers feel the need to fake their reaction for the benefit of the hobbyist.  Hmmmm?

I'm very new, I've seen about 10 men so far, and a couple of repeat customers...so maybe I'm in a honeymoon period, and I'll feel differently in a few months...  

Sex feels reaaaalllly good...and I'm finding I enjoy giving head (provided the man is freshly showered, which most have been--if not, it's a gag-producing experience).  
And I enjoy giving pleasure...it makes me feel good to make another feel good in such an easy and elemental way--and because it's the essence of the job description, I feel like I'm doing my work well when the man leaves happy; and as an ex-lousy-waitress, feeling like I'm doing my job well is a pretty new, self-esteem heightening experience.

As far as fakery...I've heightened my reactions at times when the man is going down on me--because again, this gives him pleasure, or because I wanted to move on to the main course--but because I love getting head, I wasn't inventing my reaction out of whole cloth.
I've had one negative experience, where I don't think either of us were enjoying ourselves much; and one creepy experience that felt potentially dangerous, although it turned out fine, and was physically pleasurable for both of us.
It seems I need to feel either physical joy, or mental/emotional joy in the man's company...and ideally both.  He doesn't need to be young and attractive for me to have fun, but it's certainly a bonus.  I've felt almost guilty taking money from sweet, attentive men...but that's also part of the job description!

To end this long-ass post:  Tonight I had my first on-the-job orgasm...later, the man emailed me to say how much fun he had, and that he'd be calling me again.  I wasn't faking it when I wrote back to say "anytime!".

I've had moaners & screamers, but my ATF is really quiet in bed.  It's easy to dismiss someone as 'acting', but sometimes it's just human variation.  Not everyone reacts the same way in bed.

Take providers out-of-the-picture for a minute. Think about former girlfriends--did they all act the same way in bed?  No.  --z

That the good ones enjoy it, and the not so good ones do not.

In other words, when someone is really enjoying their work, it's good for all.

Not unlike many jobs, really.

If the lady is not enjoying it, it really is a 'job' to her and she is only putting up with you for your money.  

As mrfisher said, the good ones are more likely to enjoy it than the not-so-good ones.  To the good ones, while the money is great, it's the extra things mentioned that make it enjoyable.

Swim

Like all honeymoons, this will end.  The question becomes, how will you deal with day-to-day marriage?  Being a provider gives a lady many perks (flexible schedule, good earnings, etc), but certainly some challenges as well (stalkers, privacy issues, legal & social ramifications).  

If you set goals for yourself, and continue to strive to meet them, the downsides can be mitigated.  If not, you run the risk of finding life's options decreasing.  I firmly believe that aspect of managing a provider's career is one of the biggest reasons for a lady developing a bad attitude.

So in your estimation (and Mr.Fisher), a provider has to enjoy the physical experience to be termed "good" at her job? Interesting...what if she is a "good" actress and "appears" for all intense and purposes as if she is enjoying her work? Does that make her any less of a good provider if the gentleman has a great time and is unaware of her acting?

Some ladies really do enjoy certain aspects of this job..some enjoy the physical pleasure, others enjoy the cash and some enjoy both. What does it matter if they are all doing a great job and are not putting themselves through hell to do it?

I was thinking the same thing... because I do orgasm with some folks... and some people I genuinely have quite an inter-personal spark with... but I'm affectionate and sweet to everyone (even those folks that are secretly getting on my last ever-loving NERVE! ) -I genuinely attempt to connect and build reporte with every single person I meet!  

But whether or not I'm able to achieve orgasm (or not have you secretly get on my nerves) has more to do with how "good" *YOU* are... ie how easily you to respond to subtle hints/directions...

-- Modified on 4/16/2009 7:07:30 PM

it depends on who you do it with and how experience they are. some dudes only go once and it doesnt get up while others go for numerous pops

"It was real.  It was enjoyment.  But it wasn't real enjoyment."

To answer your question, no it makes no difference.  But (and this is VERY important), the acting must be very good.

I think we have all seen a movie that made us tear up at some point.  Was the situation real?  Did the actors involve really go through the trauma or joy that provoked our personal reaction?  No.  But then again, those people are in movies and paid well for it precisely because they are very good at what they do.

As far as guys are concerned, there is a huge range of reactions across the spectrum from:
'I don't really care what she got out of it, I had fun.'
to:
'I can't enjoy it in the slightest unless I am able to make her see god multiple times and I don't even care if I walk out with the blue-est balls this side of a monastery."

For me, it positively enhances my perception of my time with a provider if I BELIEVE that she had a good time.  The issue lays with whether a provider is able to convince the client that she is in fact enjoying herself.  This can be achieved either through simply communicating actual pleasure or by faking it convincingly.

The first is not so difficult.  Most of us guys want to believe that we are seriously attractive studs that can make a woman swoon if only she'd give us a chance to show it.  Most of us want to hear it.

The second?  Difficult.  It hinges on how good an actress the provider is.  Maybe she is able to pick one thing out of the session that she did actual enjoy.  Perhaps it's that the guy was clean, didn't have dragon breath, and was able to keep from mauling her.  Maybe it is simply that she appreciates the money.  If she can then translate that enjoyment into a manufactured performance of rapturous pleasure, then the guy could easily fall for it.

It also depends on how perceptive and/or experienced the guy is.  A self-absorbed guy who has only ever been with his wife of 35 years and whose entire array of knowledge of the erotic arts is gleaned from hollywood?  He may be pretty easy to convince.  A cynical philanderer may not be convinced even if the provider did truly enjoy herself.

In the end, if while saying good-bye to a provider, she can smile, give me a warm hug (or sweet kiss), and ask me to please call her again, I will be happy.  But only if I think she is looking forward to seeing me again more than she is my wallet.  I'll be happy to bring the wallet, but I'd hope that she would want me to stick around for a while as well.

Mr. F.,
Your theory requires static emotional and physical states on the part of the provider; and assumes that she experiences her clients as interchangeable...as  if all things are even across time and experience...
I would guess most escorts enjoy their work at times, and loathe it at others--depending upon any number of variables within the provider herself, as well as how she experiences a given client.  
One man may believe a provider is Aphrodite incarnate, while another finds the same woman to be a lousy lay...because we're all slightly different people from one day to the next; and because the woman may be physically and mentally drawn to one man, and totally repulsed by another...or because everything was right with her life one day, and the next it wasn't...unless she's some cross between Meryl Streep and Mother Theresea, her feelings will probably, to some degree, show.
Or maybe it's as simple as: the good ones appear to enjoy it regardless or whether they do or not, because they  believe the  client should get what he payed for; and the bad ones couldn't care less...

Nope, but they were honest.  Sometimes irritatingly so, but honest.  And I think I ended up better becasue of it.

"But only if I think she is looking forward to seeing me again more than she is my wallet.  I'll be happy to bring the wallet, but I'd hope that she would want me to stick around for a while as well."

Well stated.  That is a great goal and pretty much my bottom line.  Sure, would love to be able to really pop of a string of Os for her.  But would rather have honesty.  If she gets to the point where there are reasons she WANTS to see me (not has to see me or wants to see the money), that is what makes the cut as a repeat to me.  Like most guys I have X amount of the $.  I would rather share it with a friend than a 100% pro.  The "friendship" can be based on things other than her orgasms (though an awesome plus), as long as it is genuine.  Doesn't have to be intense, just something where the meetings are something she looks forward to rather than dread or "just part of the job".  That is why honesty is so important to me.  Eventually all providers and nearly all clients will find a good fit.  So let's all be honest and lets us all find each other and keep the acting from getting in the way.  I know, too idealistic even in ths hobby.  

Thank you all for responding.  It seems to me that it can be like any job.  Good at times and lousy at times depending on what is going on.  I hope I did not sound badly with my question, just some of the stuff I think about from time to time.

Yes some of us do enjoy it. And if you have the right match you enjoy it on a mind-blowing bed shaking level.

-- Modified on 4/20/2009 4:47:13 PM