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Newbie - FAQ

Don't overreact, be firm, don't question yourself
ziggy440 84 Reviews 587 reads
posted

Providers drop hints, too, and the polite thing is to ignore them if you think they are inappropriate. If he, or she, keeps at it, a firm "no" would be the next step. Then "I am sorry, but I have told you no and if you continue I really will not be able to see you any more." Then if it continues, you stop taking calls from that person.

The key is to be firm, mean what you say and then do what you said you would do if it continues. Most will fall into line when they understand you are serious.

This really is something that goes both ways, though guys push providers this way more often than the opposite, IMO.

Zig

vipnaomi2484 reads

I'm new provider and I had a very recent engagement where the gentleman (worldly and polite as he was), kept dropping hints about what other woman had done for him in the past (i.e. unsafe practices and 'service on the house' (his words not mine)).

My question is in future as a provider should I politely enlighten him on the spot or surprise him?

On the one hand I don't want to ruin the mood...on the other I hate uncomfortable situations

Thanks in advance for your advice

-Naomi


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joleneineugene848 reads

he can go back to those gals who do "that." Just because "other women" do it one way doesn't mean YOU have to give it to him that way. You do what YOU do best; if he wants the other stuff, and if he continues to bring it up, then politely tell him that he can easily call the other women for "that" stuff.

Then, put him on your DNS (do not see) list.

Related Link: Jolene in Eugene

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DaPunter863 reads

I would just smile and politely ignore such comments. You should not do anything that you are not comfortable with. There are always guys that try to get freebies. Now don't get me wrong some providers do give extra attention or time with guys they like and want to come back. It's always a nice surprise but never expected even if gotten before.

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Eden Roc675 reads

That should drop a big hint of your own about how you operate your business.

This is a tough business and not for the faint of heart. Screen extensively and be prepared.

Next time a client suggests anything you don't do, let them know in no uncertain terms "this is how I do it." Show them the front door if they don't like it.

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ziggy440588 reads

Providers drop hints, too, and the polite thing is to ignore them if you think they are inappropriate. If he, or she, keeps at it, a firm "no" would be the next step. Then "I am sorry, but I have told you no and if you continue I really will not be able to see you any more." Then if it continues, you stop taking calls from that person.

The key is to be firm, mean what you say and then do what you said you would do if it continues. Most will fall into line when they understand you are serious.

This really is something that goes both ways, though guys push providers this way more often than the opposite, IMO.

Zig

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keystonekid971 reads

8 years of P4P.  Providers need to stay within their boundaries.  For example, some ladies do not visit the Greek Isles.  Regardless of the hints, just say "no, I don't do that."  If he persists, then you may need to say, "It is time for you to go since you do not understand my boundaries."   Be firm in what you say and how you say it.

If the request is for more time off the clock, you can say, "I'm sorry but I have other commitments (dr., dentist, whatever) and I need you to leave when the hour is up."

Good screening should catch most of these guys but sometimes someone will slip through the process.

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Bostonguy57646 reads

As others have said just DNS the guy.  My ATF actually had a guy who left a copy of his AIM test in the bathroom once trying to convince her to go uncovered...

Some guys will try anything...

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vipnaomi788 reads

Swweeet!!

Really great advice ladies and gents. I'm so ready to try these out..BRING IT ON! ;)

Naomi

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rover1221294 reads

If he's looking for freebies, okay, politely tell him that's not how you choose to operate.  BUT, IF HE'S TALKING ABOUT UNSAFE PRACTICES, SHOW HIM THE DOOR IMMEDIATELY!  Even safe practices carry a degree of risk.  You may insist on safe practices, but using them with someone who doesn't always carries a higher degree of risk.  It just ain't worth it.

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therecanbeonly1994 reads

Great thread,

Good to hear both sides.
It's a two way street and people have to repect that.
Good repeat business relationships have to be the best way to go.

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