...do all providers have to deal with a lot of bullshit? I guess this is kind of a rhetorical question, because I'm sure the answer is yes, but I've been in this business for a week and am already baffled by some of the idiotic inquiries I've received. I try my best to be polite, and I want a decent number of clients, but it's extremely difficult when guys try to badger you into doing something you're not comfortable with, think that haggling is acceptable, or just act generally obnoxious and douchey. How do you ladies handle this?

Tobi

Well, I am not a lady, and I am not experienced at all. BUT I would just like to assure you that there are plenty of very nice guys out there. Unfortunately, in my personal opinion, the very nature of WHY some men have to go this route to get what they want means that there will be sometimes more bad then good. That is why screening and references are so important I imagine. You sound like a very nice woman. To bad I don't live in your area.

That's why you get paid the big bucks.  Think about it.  You are getting paid some multiple of what girls your age get paid to do in a legitimate job.  Do you honestly think that the money comes without some massive bullshit factor?

Here are some good responses for the typical shit you are seeing:

1.  "I am just not comfortable with ____.  I provide a sensual experience, but there are some things that I am not comfortable with.  If that's something that you really are seeking, there are some other providers that I'm sure will be happy to accommodate you."

2.  "My rates are non-negotiable.  While I appreciate that you have a budget or that _____ is charging a lower rate, my rates are my rates.  I have found that these rates work for me and for the clientele I am seeking.  If you have interest in seeing me, please feel free to contact me in the future, but please realize that my rates are non-negotiable."

If the emails are just obnoxious, then just stop responding.  A rational guy will get the hint.

...you cant hit the "delete" key fast enough for the inquiries you are describing. Its just a part of the business that every lady has to deal with and its one of the several downsides being a provider. In a month you wont even think about it. Ypu'll know whi is serious and who isnt. Kinda like deleting spam from your inbox. You just get used to it, so the ladies tell me.

If you have further examples, I'm happy to give further rebuttals or responses.  

to harvest a good crop in this hobby requires separating the wheat from the chaff..unfortunately there is a lot more chaff than wheat in this hobby..from the looks of your milling machine you will do quite well..over time you will have it running smoothly..it just takes a while to get all the kinks {or kooks} out..

I am sure all the ladies get those, but I bet you might be getting more because folks know you are new, and might be trying to take advantage. Best thing is to just delete the emails and not respond to those. (another good reason to be email only and never put a phone number in your ads).

-- Modified on 12/31/2012 7:29:03 AM

I gotta say, you really committed to that analogy.

this business is all about weeding out the tire-kickers and time-wasters.

You will probably be inundated by the afore-mentioned correspondents for quite a while.... they do target beginners, it's true, but even after 8 years in this field, I still get my share.

Decide what you want to do, stick to your guns, and you will triumph.

By the way- I would suggest inserting some paragraphs into your opening bio on your website. That much text is tough to digest without them.

good luck and good fortune!

Tabu

many providers set up vacation responders that will go out to every client who emails them.

they go something like, "thanks for considering me, and I will respond asap. Please make sure you have read my website________, and know I am available only____________." If you have not included refs, please do so or I will be unable to get back with you. Etc.

They seem to weed out a lot of bs, provider your link, rates, reviews, etc. all before you ever know you got an email. Most take the hint.

I think the beginner thing probably does have a lot to do with it, especially the ones trying to get me to do things that I'm not comfortable with.

I've still got some tweaking to do on my site, but I'll definitely jot that down on the list. Thank you!

Most guys, including me, hate long run-on paragraphs.  If I open a review and it is one 30-line paragreaph, I won't even read it, regardless of who the provider is.

You got some good advice here, Tobi.  As a beginner, you'll just have to grit your teeth and keep going.  You'll do fine, just wish you were in Tampa.....LOL  Cincinnati is a bit of a haul for me.....

Swim

Good call. Maybe I'll throw something in there about my rates being non-negotiable.

And have you decided what type of guy you want to entertain?

You might need to adjust your target market to a better quality of guy. Or you are meeting with some rather unsavory guys who think they can bully the "new girl". Stand by your rates and your boundaries. If you give in, you will pay the price with early burnout.

The number of BS inquiries starts to fade over time.... but I am 8 years in, & just when I think I've heard it all, someone will come through with a new strange/weird/off-the-wall/etc request. When you are new, people know very little about you & the services you offer, & will drum you with all kinds of idiotic questions. As you get more known, the questions will taper off(but never be fully 100% gone, lol).

If you are not comfortable with something, just say no. It is your body, & your rules. Those who haggle, just tell them no, & stop answering their phone calls/e-mails.. they'll eventually get the hint. Those who ask illegal/explicit questions, just delete(e-mail), or refer them to your reviews.

I do have standards for my clientele, but it's kind of hard to gauge someone's quality until after a few emails have been exchanged. I'm thinking I might just go the preemptive/passive-aggressive route moving forward and put all of this stuff on my FAQ page.

I suppose that's the best I can do. Although the punk rocker in me just wants to go ham on these dudes sometimes.

That's reassuring. I guess I should expect that people think they can get away with pulling this bullshit on a newbie. It's just frustrating because at this point, for every reasonable, respectful guy that's contacted me, there have been probably ten or fifteen jagoffs. It's crazy annoying.

BCG,

You've actually probably hit on the ratio of reasonable, respectful guys for Any aspect of life!

Keep your chin up, you'll do great!

Chiguy

were in high school and there was a substitute teacher. The a-holes in the class tried to get away with all kinds of shit--right?

PS and Tabu gave you great advice. Let me add, don't compromise your screening requirements or your menu. You need to feel safe at all times. If a guy doesn't want to give you the information you need to feel safe, he can move on. One envelope is not worth physical or mental abuse.

Re. your menu--if you don't want to do "x", then the answer to any guy who asks needs to be "no." Then follow-up with "hell no" if necessary. One of the reasons you get the envelope up front before any fun happens.

Yes, add "My rates are non-negotiable" to your website if you haven't already done so.

I would think most of the guys you will be spending time with will be gentlemen. However, there are some shitbirds out there that might slip through your screening. It is also good to have a "buddy" who you call when you arrive at an outcall appointment to let the buddy know you arrived and all is well. This is part of an agency girl's routine.

Good luck.

Hahaha. Touché, my friend, touché.

I have only been in the hobby for six months and seen 25 ladies so I'm a newbie but I would never ever ask a lady to discount her rates or do something not on her menu. I'm a GFE man so if a lady doesn't provide that I just move on, no matter how hot they are. I have emailed hot babes in Orange County, Los Angeles, and Las Vegas and asked them if they ever visit San Diego because if so I wanted to book a session, is that considered a time wasting email or would a lady be flattered that she is in demand in nearby cities?

Guys ask me all the time if/when I'll be visiting nearby cities. I think it's a totally fair question. To me, a time-wasting email consists of douchebaggery. Asking about traveling does not fall into that category.

I agree, and I wouldn't expect that not to be the case. I have thick skin, but I also have a short temper.

You are getting paid an insane amount of money, more than any girls your age would be seeing under almost any circumstance.

That money doesn't come without problems.  There is a "annoyance" factor that is embedded in compensation.  In other words, if you have a job that pays well, expect that there is gonna be pressure and stress and annoyance.  Guys who make seven figures a year don't make that kinda money unless there is some serious pressure involved.

When you are commanding $300/hour or more, you need to think about being flexible and almost "too nice."  $300/hour is the equivalent of a $600k/year job if you were to work full-time and legitimately at that rate.  And when you consider that you are getting all of that tax-free...well, it's more than that.

Do the math the other way, and think about how long a guy making $200k/year has to work in order to afford an hour at $300.  $200/year is about $120k/year after taxes.  That's the equivalent of $60/hour.  So that guy has to work five hours just to see a girl for an hour who charges $300.  Or he has to work over eight hours to see a girl who charges $500/hour.

Sorry, but that's the breaks.  Keep that temper in check.

There's an old adage that applies here:  It takes a lifetime to build a reputation but only a moment to destroy it.

You don't want to be that girl that flips out and has her business dry up because word gets around that she's difficult to deal with.  Plenty of other fish in the sea, so to speak.

But I think you will do just fine.

Word. Thanks.