So what do you do when more senior member flames u?

Can you provide an example of said attack?  Most of the time if its here on the newbie board we try to stick up for the newbies...but on other boards you're pretty much at the mercy of others.

Impossible to answer that with no specifics. Whether he is 'more senior' or not really does not make a rats ass bit of difference. It's just that one would tend to think a senior would know more, but I know alot of senior dummys, LOL. Post a link to the thread, or if you really think you were flamed, pm the Mod. and complain. Hummm, the latter could be a good thing or bad, LOL.

Easy answer! Tell 'em to "eat shit, and fuck themselves"!

If you let yourself be bullied, you WILL be. Even Moderators get dumped on!  Witness this exchange!

http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=98099&boardID=9&page=1

Ignore, ignore, ignore.

Even the New York and LA regional boards are like a visit to the TeleTubbies in comparison.

If you got a thin skin the Poli-R board will turn it to Kevlar.

As stated before, ignore them, no matter how long they've been around. You'll also notice that more often than not, they will use an alias.

There will be times when you just can't believe what the fuck you're reading, and can't help yourself. If you do respond, keep it light and humorous, if you can.

Sorry in advance for the length.  Tried to cover all responses and provide newbie insight.

1.  Rest assured, I don't have thin skin.
2.  Senior Members, I guess I meant longer TER tenure than myself and some level of responsibility to coordinate events.
3.  The individual "flame" directed to me was triggered from this thread(http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=105086&boardID=18&page=3).  While, I don't think it approaches the experience of Fuzzy, but maybe you all will think otherwise.  
4.  The only other communication from me prior to flame was an email fulfilling the outlined directions with what verification I could provide(as referenced in the thread).

As I said to the "flamer", based on the response it didn't matter to me one way or the other after the response.  Quite frankly, I didn't even post this "under attack" note for me or to "rally support".  I enjoy TER readings.  Often it is like reading the Sunday Funnies.  

However, making the transition from from "lurker" to "interactive poster" has not been as an enjoyable of an experience.  I would assume if I have had some challenges, then other newbies are experiencing similar issues.  This latest incident caused me to chime in and share.

I guess the requested action item to mods and other board leaders is to remember that there is a reason newbies are newbies.  They will ask questions.  They don't know how things work.  They don't know whether "reasonable response time" will be an hour, a day, a week, or a month.  Unless you respond and set expectations, newbies will default to whatever they deem to be reasonable.  And if they make every effort to adhere to the outlined TER guidelines but don't receive the same treatment in kind from more "senior members", then they won't have a great experience and are less likely to contribute to the growth and success of the community.

I guess Hermes isn't the brightest of light bulbs is he? lmao

If you think that is flaming you really do need to grow a thicker skin.

One thing you have to learn about M&G's is the fact that for everyone's protection, you have to be able to pass screening. I know it's a catch 22, but someone has to be able to vouch for you before you can expect an invite to one of these events. You don't really think that you can get a provider, much less an entire group of providers to attend an event that might be compromised, by LE, a stalker, or worse.

I know this isn't what you want to hear, but the only way to get invited to a M&G is to pay your dues. Contribute to the board, either by posts, reviews or otherwise. Contrary to popular opinion reviews are NOT a prerequsite, I personally have never made a review and I have not only attended many M&G but I have actually hosted a couple. That said, reviews are the quickest way to get established, not to mention getting a couple of well known providers to vouch for you.

Good luck, and if you really want to get flamed, come to the P&R board. I don't care what your political views are, someone will flame you for them, and in no uncertain terms.

Flaming is direct and personal attacks on someone based on the attackees personality or not even based on anything.  

What was said was more something is true.  "Hurry up and wait" is a very valid response for why you have not received the response you want.  Sometimes you will never get a response from something you are eagerly awaiting.

Just wait until you send an email to a woman you really want to meet, and she never responds or responds with a terse message basically saying that she does not want to see you.

Damm dude..

If you call that flaming, you ain't seen nothing yet. I thought the responses were fine, about what I would have said.

Yes you did not get a helpful reply to your query.  Yes you may have gotten bitten by a sarcastic, impatient or perhaps impolite reply. But you were hardly attacked on a personal level.  I would also not characterize it as an 'incident' either. Geeze! Get a grip and let it go.

My question to you is whether or not you have a sincere greater interest in learning if or how a newbie can get to attend a M&G or whether you want to enlighten mods and other members on how newbies should be treated.  If it is the former then may I suggest that you initiate a new thread here on this board and ask your 'how', 'if'  M&G questions.  If it is the latter then with all due respect, please buckle up because you will in no uncertain terms quickly learn the distinction between discussion board banter and discussion board flaming.

Kindly reread your last paragraph and honestly ask yourself if there is any way that perhaps you just might be coming across as condescending.              
   



-- Modified on 6/19/2008 9:50:18 AM

Lets just teach Newbies to go around telling whoever they don't like to tell folks to 'eat shit and fuck themselves'.  'Moderators get dumped on'? No, I think you are about the only one. Maybe it is because of your wonderful way with words and your great respect for your fellow hobbyists....

I find it very sad that you have to bring your crap over to this board as well.

M&G's are not setup by the administrators of TER at all.   TER is merely the conduit by which M&G's are arranged, but nobody at TER is creating the M&G, inviting people, or screening.

The individual who is arranging the M&G is the person who you should be complaining about.   Not the mods or TER.

you had me then you lost me.

How's that for a funny flame? LOL

. " The individual "flame" directed to me was triggered from this thread(http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=105086&boardID=18&page=3).  While, I don't think it approaches the experience of Fuzzy, but maybe you all will think otherwise."


 I want this to be a warning to all not to overprotect your children

but it looks like you've now invited some to begin here

I didn't see any flaming there
Posted by zisk, 6/19/2008 7:42:25 PM


but it looks like you've now invited some to begin here"
 


roflmao ..Thats the truth

That you've just had your first lesson in "Real Flaming". Take heed, my friend. This could have gotten much worse, and much more personal.

Now quitcher' fuckin' bellyachin'!!!!!

We clear now?












BTW, I hope the moderator realizes that I was making a point here and foregoes moderating me

Sorry if you feel that you have felt the wrath of a few senior members-

I felt compelled to offer a few thoughts-  whether it will help with your impression of the situation or not really doesn't matter, but hopefully it will give you a little more insight into some of the discussion boards.

First and most importantly please remember that there are numerous levels of education and people from all walks of life who post on a public board.
Next it is also important to remember that the "community" as a whole on this site has developed a sense of secrecy and a protective nature due to many of the recent events.
Lastly, some of the males posting are just jack-asses.... so there is no understanding their sense of anger in their posts-

In the specific incident you are referring to, it involved a M&G-   this is a gathering where one individual or a few individuals are responsible for additional email communications and screening which most are not accustomed to. Hobbyists usually don't realize, until they get involved, the level of organization and screening is involved to successfully host a M&G-  so anytime a M&G is in the working stages, usually individuals new to the hobby get a feeling of rudeness or in your case being attacked.

While it doesn't excuse the behavior, it might help you understand what was happening. Once you have had the opportunity to interact with some of the individuals who have given you this impression, you usually understand the logic behind hwy you were given a specific impression. Just chalk it up to dealing with the general public and interacting with individuals that might not normally be in the social circles you are accustomed to.

You may not ever decide to meet any of the posters face to face- If that is a choice then just remember that an individuals reply to a specific topic is usually a reflection of their inner personality-  many times positing on a public board gives males the courage to project a side of themselves that they would not normally expose because of the anonymous nature of the site.  Just file the impression and before long you will see traits, mannerisms and thoughts similar to your own....  and you can develop your own networking system which can help you bounce ideas off and make decisions having to do with the hobby with a little friendly advise. Most of the established members are more than helpful when addressed through PM for suggestions and advise-  a public board is just a looking glass into the site's members.  

Another point to consider is when a post is made, if there is not a small envelope next to the screen name then it is referred to as an alias post (*yes, we all know that every post is by an alias*) but- once a screen name becomes associated with a specific style of posting and/or  a specific individual then you usually can calculate what their stance is on a topic. When the post doesn't have an envelope next to it, it usually means the individual making that post doesn't want to be associated with it for one reason or another. So, if a flame is thrown from behind an alias (*that is if something rude or mean is posted from a screen name that is unfamiliar and not recognized*)  then just disregard it, usually it is a hobbyist who had to make an extra mortgage payment or write a check for college tuition and didn't get to hobby as much as he would like (*LOL* ~just teasing but hopefully you get the point)  most usually disregard posts that are made from what is considered an alias poster. Besides that, providers at least try to make an effort to be cordial.... many of the hobbyist feel no need to, as I said it is a widely diverse group of people because it is the general public.

Please consider joining the discussions, while lurking is often entertaining, sometimes by posting you give providers a better impression of who you are and what your thoughts are-  Many times this enriches your hobbying experience and that is what participation in the site by a hobbyist is really about.

I might add just one thing to Maroman. You want to stay far away from the P&R board. LOL

excellent point blah ha haaaaa zisk The P&R board !!!!! @#*!

Just my personal thoughts: but Politics alone is a recipe for hostility-  (*definitely NOT conducive to anything sexually arousing*)  ...-but then to add Religion OMgosh, that is just too funny in my opinion. -I guess that's why about 95% of that board is alotta' angry sexually frustrated guys spouting off at each other  LOL -  That was an excellent point to bring up-  sorry I forgot it!!   VERY IMPORTANT suggestion to remember!!!!