Newbie - FAQ

As mrfisher said...
Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 2151 reads
posted
1 / 18

So up until this point, I've never counted the envelope in front of a client, and thus far it's always worked out with no problems. I think there's gotta be a certain degree of trust in this world on both ends.  

However, I recently had a new client book 90 minutes with me. In an email, he said something to the effect of if things go well that he'd like to extend it to two hours. Cool. Well, he showed up, put the envelope on the tv stand, and the date commenced. Once the 90-minute mark had passed and he showed no signs of leaving, I had assumed (I know, dumb on my part) that he had just decided to go ahead and do the 2hr option. No problem.  

I'm not a clock-watcher by any stretch of the imagination, due in part to the fact that I can be a little bit of a jabber jaw at times. But once we were at a few minutes over the 2hr mark, I did my usual "gtfo" hint and put my clothes and shoes on. I've never had a guy who didn't get that hint. This guy, however, proceeded to sit on the bed and chat me up for another half an hour. It wasn't a huge deal at that point, but I really wanted to go to bed (it was after 1:30am at this point). So I was just like "I think I'll grab some snacks from the vending machine before I hit the hay for the night." His response? "Do you want me to leave after that?" I didn't want to be rude, so I just said "Well, I really need to get to bed." He finally got the hint that time.  

So I go get my peanut butter crackers and my Coke Zero and head back to my room to crash. When I get back to the room, I count my envelope. UHHHHHHH there's 90 minutes worth of cash in there. So the dude basically got a free hour. I was fucking dumbfounded.  

I guess my question is a two-parter. Is there a professional/nice/classy way to say "Alright, dude, you don't have to go home but ya can't stay here."? And how does one handle a short envelope?

harborview 10 Reviews 750 reads
posted
2 / 18

the extension was conditional (hitting it off).  To be fair...  you should not have assumed that he had decided to a (paid) extension.  He might have just thought you liked him or were ok with him over staying.  
You are relatively new & either he is dumb OR he wanted to see how far he could push you.  I can't answer this but YOUR opinion is the only one that maters.  You must set a limit on how much over you will allow sessions to go.  
Gals have a tough job & must be excellent time managers...  we here say this time & again.  At or slightly past the time you must come out of GFE character & directly ask if he decided to extend the appointment.  You don't need an excuse.  At say "10 minutes" past the time...   you say "Wow!  We're way over.  Did you want to extend?"  (I picked the 10 minutes out of the air...  yours to choose)  

Another take is to NOT allow open ended appointments.  It's really unfair & most providers won't allow them.  Let's say a gal gives hour appointments, takes an hour off to shower & whatever.  So to leave an appointment open ended means she has to rush her personal time or not book a following appointment.
On the other hand, low volume providers...  might not have anything else to do after.  I've had Fav ladies spend hours after our time together (dressed)...  but another time, the same gal had me go so she could get to the bank.  I know I was the only one she saw that day...  maybe several days...

It's your business, but your personal time is just as important as anyone else's & yes, you are entitled to sleep if that is what you need.

London Rayne See my TER Reviews 829 reads
posted
3 / 18

In the beginning when I was really naive, I had a few guys literally stay there and jack off or just lie in bed naked, as if I was going to give them an extra hour for free! When he showed NO SIGNS OF LEAVING, you should have asked "So, I guess we are extending the time, because if not, I really need to get some sleep." Done deal. If you wanted to go over 90 min. to 2 hours, you would not have a fkin 2 hour rate!

I love guys who do this with the hour, and just assume it's free, which is why I no longer deal with them. Had this been a regular that you really adored being with, that would be one thing...but, a first time client? Get real. If he dares bash you for this in a review, you better damn well report it because that is not fair. You did your job, he took advantage of you. There is just no other way to put it. If he did not have the 2 hour rate already in that envelope, he should have gotten his ass up or made things right at the end.

-- Modified on 5/15/2013 11:45:59 AM

EasyTimes 7 Reviews 674 reads
posted
4 / 18

Just kidding!!  Couldn't resist after seeing your post below re: older guys, lol.

Seriously though, if the guy booked a 90 minute date originally, I would assume that amount would be what was in the envelop.  You said that his email mentioned extending "if things go well" and how would either of you know that when he dropped the envelop?  That is a decision that is made during the session if that is what you agreed to.  As a mature older gentleman (sorry) I would have mentioned at some point before the 90 minutes was up that I wished to extend if you were amenable.  And if I didn't, it would certainly have been appropriate for you to inquire.  I can understand some may not want to break the mood, but I suffer from no GFE delusion, I understand why we are there.  If that were the case, then certainly you should have asked at the end.  In the scenario that you describe, it sounds like nothing was made clear.  If you had started to get up at 90 minutes, that may have prompted him to stake his position.  Personally, I always try to be aware, but in the end it is the lady's responsibility to manage the time, and it can be done successfully and gracefully without appearing to be a clock watcher.

If someone doesn't take your subtle hint of getting dressed, then there is nothing wrong with saying "I enjoyed our time together, but it is time to go."  If you smile and look directly at him, that is nice, professional, and classy, and should be totally clear.  If you wait for him "to take the hint' that is on you, IMO.  Likewise, if you assume the extra money was put in up front.  If he shorted you on the original amount, that would be different.  Still, if you call him on it and he is an honorable guy, he should come through with the difference.  JMHO ;)

Mr.Tennis 1 Reviews 668 reads
posted
5 / 18

Sorry it had to happen to you.  There's enough trouble that can be had in this business already, so I don't know why somebody needs to violate your trust and take advantage of you like that.  :(  I guess some of the cockier guys probably feel like they're entitled to the extra time, maybe he was one of em? If he tries to book another appointment, I guess you'll have to determine if he simply made an honest mistake or not.  Probably just a better idea to ignore him if he tries to book again.

@London:  You just painted a silly picture in my head. lol...

London Rayne See my TER Reviews 612 reads
posted
6 / 18

I am afraid if you make a stink about it, he will use the review system to get revenge, so my advice would be to blacklist him and never bother with him again. He owes you money...end of story! So, it was not just a half hour but a FULL HOUR that he stayed, and did not pay for? That is robbery...end of story. Other women need to know who this person is so they can avoid him.

mrfisher 115 Reviews 591 reads
posted
7 / 18

At 90 minutes you should have said something to the effect of:  "So, honey, would you like to buy another 30 minutes?"

That's all it would have taken.

At the two hour mark, it should have been:  "Here's your hat, what's your hurry?", and out the door.

Good clients know that your time is your time.  The bad clients don't matter as you don't want them anyways.

And, there's nothing wrong with ducking into the bathroom and counting the dough.  It's standard operating procedure.

swimtrekr 59 Reviews 632 reads
posted
8 / 18

It's unfortunate, but it happens all the time.  It's usually, I think, a first time client that you have probably not seen before.  The previous posters have hit the nail on it's head several times.  I hope you read all the posts carefully, and have better luck in future encounters.

Siwm

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 596 reads
posted
9 / 18

But you are absolutely 100% right, I should not have assumed that the envelope was already full. Total rookie mistake on my part.

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 664 reads
posted
10 / 18

I always do. :) Lesson learned for sure.

tg_baby 599 reads
posted
12 / 18

Good clients don't do things like this. This guy isn't a good client. He took advantage. And he's not worth seeing again, unless you really need the money enough to put up with him and his bullsh**.

If I were you, I'd either be much more specific about time the next time you see him...be explicit/obnoxious...'Would you like to extend our time? Otherwise I need to [insert excuse here]'. He will likely take offense, lol...those kinds will. But who cares? He's an ass. The other option is to never see him again. That's what I'd do. Because it's not worth the wee bit of money he pays to put up with the way he makes you feel...the stress of wondering how he's going to screw you over *this* time...not when there are so many nice guys out there.  

As you continue providing, you will be able to 86 clients like this and keep others who are true gems. Life gets easier :)  

This guy reminds me of annoying clients I saw when I was new. In those days, I took almost every viable appt, so long as the guy could be verified and wasn't a *complete* asshole. Later on, I 86'd the ones like your guy. I have some clients with whom I *never* talk about time or money. They tell me what they want (not even going by the packages on my site - just telling me in vague terms, for instance, 'Well, I'd like to have a leisurely lunch and then maybe see a show, then ...') With them, I just trust that the envelope will be right. And it always is. With this guy? If you just trusted him to do right, he'd probably say that he thought the whole date was OTC!!  

Fire his ass!! :)

-- Modified on 5/15/2013 11:46:53 AM

Tobi Telford See my TER Reviews 730 reads
posted
13 / 18
EasyTimes 7 Reviews 540 reads
posted
14 / 18

Thanks for taking what I wrote in the spirit it was written!  The crack about age, was just that, not an excuse.  The truth is that regardless of age, if he is old enough to play, then he is old enough to be responsible for his actions and respectful of your time.  Period!

I have to add though, that I think earlier suggestions that he might spite you in reviews if you brought it up to him could be incorrect.  You would know better, based on your experience with him, than any of us.  And, as for blacklisting him, I think that is a bit over the top in this scenario, with two exceptions.  One exception would be if the scenario were different than you described, which to me sounded like he could have honestly been "seduced" into thinking that you wanted him to stay.  I mean that as a compliment to your skills and and acknowledgment of the fact that there was no verbal mention of extra money.  And before you defenders go crazy, I'm not saying that lets him off the hook, but maybe earns him the benefit of the doubt.  So why not give him the chance to do the right thing and pay you the difference?  The second exception would be if you compared notes with other providers in your area and determined that this guy has a history of this behavior.  If that's the case, then throw the book at him!!

Tobi, you are a very smart young lady!  I have followed your posts from the beginning, and I can tell by the way you express yourself and how far you have come in such a short time.  I would take a bet right now that this will never happen to you again :-)  I would also say to trust your instincts about handling this!  None of us were there.  JMHO

harborview 10 Reviews 637 reads
posted
15 / 18

though you are within your rights to put him on your DNS (Do Not See) List.  If you decide to see him again...  you must A) have a great session  B) be vigilant about the time & not let it go beyond your normal time to go limit.  
I recall a very classy lady who put on her silk robe probably 3-5 minutes past our time.  I did not resent it.  It was classy & correct.

dontknowanymore 4 Reviews 580 reads
posted
16 / 18

...London (and others) on this.  It is theft!!!  

This kind of thing is crappy regardless of what business you're in.  So sorry this happened to you.  That kind of guy is not ever worth seeing again.  

I don't understand why some guys think this is okay.  Do you hang out in the barber chair after you're hair is cut?  Do you stay parked in front of the gas pump after your tank is full?  Do you hang out at the grocery after you checkout (or better yet...do they let you walk with items you didn't pay for)?  

The ONLY explanations some guys do this is that they are at best inconsiderate and at worst crooks and manipulators.  

I'm fuming for you....

ghidorah 11 Reviews 596 reads
posted
17 / 18

'm ashamed to say I sometimes struggle with leaving on time, but I tend to run 10 or maybe 15 minutes too long during a 90 minute appointment, and I try to at least partially make up for it by giving a generous tip.  

I don't stay too long intentionally, and I've been working at improving. I try to track the time and keep things moving. Often I do get out the door right on time, or even a little early. The problem happens when I connect well with the woman and we end up talking a lot. With some of these ladies, it's difficult for both of us to stop a conversation and move on, and then I fall behind.  

But some of the ladies have been very good at keeping us on schedule. Even if we are connecting and talking, they will keep prompting me to move things along, and I'm quite grateful. One woman even started the shower for me as we were reaching the end of our time, and that helped keep me moving and getting out the door on time.

But I'm particularly ashamed that I recently ran way over my time with one woman that I have seen repeatedly. Basically I had not been able to see her for some time, and I tried to cram too much conversation and activities into our meeting. I apologized, gave her a generous tip, and said I wanted to make up for the short envelope when we next met. I still feel very bad about it. I'm mainly upset with myself for not having more realistic plans and more discipline. But I also wish that she would help by prompting me to move things along, as some ladies do. I'll talk to her about this next time, assuming she'll agree to see me again. I'll also email her to apologize again.  

It's frustrating that the more I like a lady, the more likely it is that I'll struggle to leave on time

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