Why do so many providers refuse to answer e-mails?  I am polite and respectful when I write them, and I give a brief but accurate description of myself.  I am not comfortable with phone calls out of the blue - I just want to make sure they are real people before taking that next step.  It's too bad hardly any of them ever write back.

Am I breaking a major taboo by writing or am I unreasonable in hoping to be written back before I make what is to me a pretty major commitment and expenditure?

I contacted a lady this evening via email.  I heard back and we worked out details within about an hour.  She's not someone that I've previously met or spoken with.  When you deal with independents, you get what you get.  Some are great at the administrative end of things; others are not.  That doesn't even begin to address things like other jobs, vacation, sick relative, etc.

I'm not saying that you're being unreasonable, but I will say that if you're going to get upset about it, you'll probably not find this to be an enjoyable hobby.  Wait until someone no shows on you.

No, I am not getting upset about things - but I do admit I am a little nervous.  I am new to this and it's tough to get into it when you don't have any experience or references.  I am trying to do everything as best I can and be as safe as possible - and create an environment for the provider that is as safe as possible as well.

I am the exact opposite of every provider I know...
I ONLY use e-mail. I"m a very visual person and can remember details and dates when I see them.I can also save their conversations with me to refer to them so I can remember some little detail they think I over looked.
I also hate in fact talking on the phone to anyone, much more even a stranger! I only give my prepaid phone number out to clients who schedule a specific time/day and then I have them call me 30min prior to give them my adress. Some clients want to "Call and talk" a little bit but I much prefer e-mail.

But you will have to get use to using the phone, as most providers use mainly the phone!

Hey Fens, I'm learning the same lesson as you - although I've only tried to get in touch with providers who specifically  request email or web forms as the initial mode of contact, most of my attempts to reach out have been met with silence (except for one wonderful lady who took a chance on me - thanks D ).  Now I can see why, if a lady decides she doesn't want to see you, she wouldn't want to promote further attempts by replying, but OTOH a short note saying "I'm not seeing new clients now" or whatever else.  I guess it's just the nature of the game.

And little phil is right - just wait till your first date ends in a NCNS, as happened to me.  Just gotta rub some dirt on it and keep trying ... see link below (j/k).


-- Modified on 9/30/2010 7:48:08 AM

then send an e-mail to the top lady on my list.  Depending on how far ahead I am trying to schedule I may wait 48 hours; if no reply, I send an e-mail to the 2nd lady on my list.  When I have the opportunity to hobby, I generally know at least a week ahead of time.  I primarily see independents and as has already been said, some are much better at the administrative end of the business than others.  Also, I only see ladies with a good review history (I have been known to TOFTT but only if I have developed a good feel for the lady through her posts and e-mail or phone exchanges).

Huh ... as I mentioned below, all the providers I've tried to get in touch with have been ones that specifically request email or web as the initial contact.  Not that I'd shy away from the phone as needed, it's just worked out that the ones that caught my eye wanted it that way.

Some ladies use a phone conversation as part of their screening.  You can develop a sense about the quality of an individual from a conversation.  Similarly, I have met ladies at M & G's who have few or no reviews but after talking with them, I put them on my bucket list for a future date.

If you call them, do you get an answer? Because some providers may just be MIA, for one reason or another, and it has absolutely nothing to do with you.

If you want to be sure to get replies, or at least minimize the number or no replies, try this.

Start with providers who are posting on your local board. They are looking for business, and waiting to hear from you. Then check their web site or ad posts and see how they want you to contact them, and follow their rules. Make sure you qualify - if they require two references and you provide nothing, they probably will not even reply. I spent a month trying to contact a lady I had just seen a few weeks before and was trying to figure out how the hell I had pissed her off, until I went to her web site, checked the contact me page, and discovered she had changed phone numbers (she wanted text messages). Not so amazing, she replied immediately when I used the right number. In another case, I emailed a lady who requires references, but I had none. This was the one time I actually sent a second email - when I reread her web site and saw what I had done, I sent an apology and asked her to reply so I was sure I had the right email for when I had references. She replied and I did get screened later, though our schedules have not meshed yet.

Look for providers with current reviews, as you can tell they are working now. Finally, if you are looking at their ads, look for ads posted in the last 30 days.

Even if you do all that, you will still get no replies, as Phil noted. Some ladies are, well, disorganized, or having too much fun, otherwise engaged, or you may just not seem right to them. I recently had two separate experiences with ladies who I emailed, as instructed and got very quick replies - yup, you are screened, here is my availability, let me know. I answered right back with a date and time, asking for confirmation. One replied 5 days later, three days after my requested date and time, asking if we were still going to get together (no, I replied, I left town two days ago), while the other replied 6 days later, the night before we were supposed to meet, sort of confirming the time, but switching from incall to outcall and since I had just confirmed with another provider I had to say, so sorry, made other plans, which pissed the hell out of her, but c'est la vie. Won't ever get together, I guess.

Anyway, that seems to be normal. I also agree with the 48 hour rule - if they do not reply, or confirm a date within 48 hours, just move on because there is no guarantee when or if they will reply. But do not get mad - they are just folks with lives, and shit happens even to the most organized and professional of people.

The one thing I hardly ever do is send a second email. Just move on if you do not get a reply. Maybe that would not work as well if I lived in a smaller city, but I do not, so there are lots of options, too many options.

Zig

Thst's not to say that is a tell that a gal is pimped.



HalfHour

I have no problem receiving emails.  I am not sitting at my computer all day.  Most of the time I only check it once in the morning and once in the evening.  I ask that we speak once on the phone so I can hear what you sound like and get a feel.

...I only use e-mail, I don't post a phone number anywhere, and I know many providers that do the same.  The only time I have phone contact is when I decide to see someone and I have a phone screening or call your hotel room to confirm the appointment.