How do you guy's control being nervous.  I will hopefully have my first provider this weekend and I am very nervous now, let alone this weekend.

But seriously though....

It has gotten better but deep down I'm still a bit of a nervous nellie, especially when meeting someone for the first time.

But here's the thing:

I think it makes the whole situation more fun.  When you can control the nervousness, it becomes a thrill and thrills can be fun.

So, don't deny your nervousness, learn to master it.  Deep breathing and focusing on the here and now are good ways to start.

It's part of the experience and I enjoy it.  For my part I get butterflies in my stomach and feel tingly heat running up my chest.  It's a prelude to the wonderful sensations that I know will follow.

For your first time it may b a bit much because you have yet to figure out how it all works.  If you've done your homework it will all go fine.  So think of it as nervous anticipation rather than just straight nervousness.

You can't control it. Just go with the flow. good luck.

I'm a newbie as well. I definitely get nervous. It hasn't prevented me from following through on my desire to hobby occasionally, but is a major factor in how much I enjoy it and how smoothly things that transpire in a provider's company. So far, things have been a bit turbulent, but I've had some understanding ladies to give a helping hand, literally and figuratively.

It is like other situations where you are in a high-stress new environment. It is really easy to hit a level of sensory overload. I am still smacked hard by that in the hobby. If you asked my a lot of details about my first encounter, I'd draw a blank on many of them. The experience was so new, so dramatically different from anything in my life that I could only process so much so fast. I know that will fade, but it will take time and repetition of the process.

Two similar situations for comparison:

The first time you drove a car, you weren't half at ease as you are now. You probably didn't carry on conversations as much, check out the scenery (female or otherwise) passing by, talk on the phone, etc. You were to focused on the core task of driving to add in the incidentals and successfully multitask.

The first time I jumped out of an airplane, it was amazing, but hellish overload. It was hard to get over the raw sensation of frefalling at 120 mph. I didn't get much beyond the "holy shit, I'm freefalling, must open parachute at 5500 feet" that whole jump. I couldn't have told you what color the sky was, which direction the plane was flying in relation to the landing strip, how many times I checked my altimeter, or anything.

Like most people, I'm lax and complacent with my driving. Not so much with skydiving, but I have no problem throwing my gear on and jumping with minimal prep and following a complex plan involving other people and planes. I have established a relative comfort with what the procedures are, what the sensations will be, etc. I still have a healthy respect for the danger and treat it accordingly, but the perceptual tunnel vision has broadened out to where I can savor a wider sense of the experience.

I expect that given time, I will lose some of the nervous jitters and performance doubt with respect to hobbying. That will make things go better, but I can't expect that all at once. It will be a gradual thing. There is a lot involved in hobbying to adjust to, such as LE risk, health risk, family risk, in addition to the thrill of rapidly getting intimate with a stranger. Some element of nervous energy is part of the experience. If I ever become totally complacent with this hobby, it will probably be time to quit.

So, if you are open to advice from a newbie only a few encounters past where you are yourself, I'd say:

Tell the lady! They have seen newbies before, and will adjust their actions accordingly, to be extra helpful and understanding.

If you have a mental script of what you want to do, ditch it. Once you are in the door and feel safe that nobody else will come knocking, let the provider take the lead. I started with a "must do this, then that, then that, followed by..." mental picture, which I got hung up on, instead of just relating to the lady whose time I was sharing. (Still working on this one myself).

Basically, just let things happen. Post and let us know how it goes!

RS70, I give you a 10 for your writing!

get your nerves under control. Hopefully, your nervousness will never go away completely. When you meet a new escort, it's good to be a little bit nervous until that first dfk. Good luck.

The hobby is just like preparing for a game.  You do your preparation (practice now includes watching diet and getting plenty of rest with an e-mail or phone confirmation the day before the date).  On game day (day of the appointment) I will have a certain hop in my step; if the date is later in the day or in the evening, my mind will wander all day as to what I will be experiencing.  Pre-game begins an hour before the date with the clean-up including brush teeth, shower, shave, prepare the room (lighting, music, candles, etc.) relax a bit with casual reading--then the knock on the door.  Game time has arrived!

I know you asked the guys how they handled it, but thought I would add a provider's viewpoint.

I get nervous everytime I meet someone new.  First the obvious - are they safe?  LE?  Then it's will we click, will I be what he is expecting?  Will he need alot of help, etc.  I find once we meet and hug and kiss the nervousness fades.  By the time we start really getting into things, my nervousness is gone.

Having met with several clients new to the hobby, my advice would be to let her know this is your first experience.  Don't go in with any expectations. Let her lead. She will take you on a journey like none other.  Close your mind and open your senses.  Hopefully you have had some conversations either by email or phone.  Having a sense of the other person will give you a level of comfort and you won't be going in "cold".  

Good luck,

Kari~~

-- Modified on 9/5/2008 12:28:33 PM

It's some numb nut yabbing on his/her cell phone  while driving and crashes into me... doesn't matter whether I'm doing normal stuff or on my way to/from a session - getting my brains splattered on my windshield make me nervous...

After that... it's walking into an incall and having a drugged up boyfriend or pimp pull a gun and ending up in the same condition...

but so far, things have always been cool, we get a sense of the "vibe" have something to wet the whistle and settle down, and have a nice time.

Relax... but if something seems wrong, just get up, say thanks, and leave.

It's natural.  You won't feel so nervous once you have your first experience under your belt...most likely be kicking yourself as to why you waited so long.  My advice...take a deep breath, look forward to your upcoming w/e experience, don't get cold feet and chicken out.  Sunday night, you will almost certainly have a smile on your face, and will be planning your next encounter.  Have fun!

I’ll admit to the exact same nerves as my first time is scheduled for next week. It’s tough to control the nerves but I did make sure my provider knows that this is my first time so I am trusting that she will be an expert guide. The worst part is the waiting but it is also incredibly stimulating. Like the song says Anticipation!

Thanks.

Better than me being ranked on looks or performance. I wouldn't have a very successful career as a male escort. Yet another reason the relationship works in the direction it does.

Whenever seeing a new lady you have not met before there will always be some apprehension, like a civie blind date - is she legit? is she the same lady as in the pictures? am I going to regret coming here after I walk in the door?, etc. For me that usually lasts until about 2 minutes after I walk in the door.

I'm always nervious on a "first date" though it gets less the more ladies I see.
skb

John Wayne said that "courage is being scared to death and saddling up any way!"

So cow girl up! Relax & Enjoy!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

I am always nervous when meeting a lady for the first time.  However, after the first kiss, I am usually relaxed.  Even with some of the ladies I have seen before, there is sometimes a hint of nerves, but first kiss and it goes away.

If you worry too much about it, it might become a problem.  I say, just accept that you might be nervous and have fun.  I'm sure if you tell the lady you are a little nervous, she will understand and try to help you relax more.  Trust me on that one, they have all seen nervous guys, especially guys that are making their first visit to a provider.

Relax and enjoy!
Swim

Thanks everyone.  Now that I have chewed all my finger nails off.

She knows its my first time.  We have chatted a little, but never haveing never met, it's tuff to have a real conversation.  Once we meet I am sure we can open up a little.

I guess part of it is not knowing what to expect.  And if we will even click with each other.  

Any other advise that I need to know besides being clean and smelling fresh?????  We will be meeting at a nice hotel.  Should I take anything like beverages?