I'm a middle-aged guy who finally took the plunge and popped my hobby cherry in Vegas last week (wonder what % of first times happen in Vegas).  Wish I had done this years sooner!  It has been an interesting ride and the experiences, emotions, etc. are all very different than what I expected, mostly in a good way.  

This board and P411 have been invaluable.  Of course now that I'm back home I'm reading ALL the self-help, newbie posts, etc. and realizing there are a lot of things I should be doing differently. Live and learn I suppose.    

I saw the same provider two times while there and am experiencing some of the newbie "smitten" issue.  I married my college sweetheart over two decades ago so it has been a LONG time since I have had that "first kiss" feeling.  

So I know I need to see other providers and soon.  I have a bit of an addictive / compulsive personality so for that reason among others I am thinking of having a rule to hobby only when I travel on business.  I live in a smaller conservative city anyway so the local options aren't great.  I guess my real question is how much is too much (financial considerations aside)?  I have business trips scheduled weekly over the next several weeks and like I said I'm hooked and would love to see a provider in each city.  

Any feedback, experiences, suggestions are welcome

Living in a small market may curb your libido somewhat.  But if you're within driving distance of a big city, my Magic 8 Ball predicts that you'll soon be driving there to hookup with providers.  You'll find that you just picked up an expensive hobby, despite your dismissal of 'financial considerations'. Since you're a self-described "addictive/compulsive", put yourself on a budget--a 'fun account' & stick to it.  

  Always use a screening service & avoid the temptation of Backpage & other unreliable sources. One last thing: you're now walking on the wild side & you'll eventually meet some dangerous people.  Trust your instincts & develop a "situational awareness" when you're out there. Good luck.  --z

Great point.  My dismissal of financial considerations wasn't to say they don't exist, they do.  Just looking for advice in the  if money was not an object, how much is too much, etc. type of way.  

Fortunately the nearest big city to me that would have some good action is a 6 hour drive.  So it wouldn't be a drive over for a session and drive back kind of thing.  However I could definitely see myself coming up with / rationalizing business reasons to travel there or to other cities.  


-- Modified on 9/22/2014 10:58:40 PM

It is different for everyone and you want to pace yourself to enjoy maximum fulfillment for the dollars you spend. At first you might play 4x a month just due to the initial rush but eventually your enjoyment for the third and fourth dates might not be as fulfilling so you might want to dial back to 2x a month. Other factors include your age, health, body shape, free time, stamina and all the stuff.

You also want to factor how much involvement your wife has on household finances and plan accordingly. First it would be irresponsible to spend so much money on your hobby that it affects your current household lifestyle or other more important expenditures like food, health and stuff like that are compromised.

Second if you spent too much to the point that it negatively effects household finances, your wife will notice and she will be looking for answers.

Depending on the time you have, read several pages back on this board everyday going backward from where you last stopped. Pretty much every question you have has been covered before, eventually you will get to a point where you are comfortable with your questions getting answered.

P4P and not rent, food, utilities, etc. funds.  You will learn ways to squirrel away some cash periodically so that you can enjoy some companionship without having to leave a paper trail at the ATM on hobby days.

A hobby phone and a hobby email address are needed to keep the two lives separate.  Don't use work computer, or even wifi to access TER, provider sites, etc.

These guys all gave you good advice. I know exactly what you're going through. For now, I would stick to the business trips to exercise your hobby needs.  I did this early and ended up going hog wild over 3 different trips in 3 successive months, a different girl on every day, each for at least 2-4hrs, once even 2 girls each for 4hrs on the same damn day - talk about addictive behavior!  

I blew thru a TON of cash, but that was planned and affordable for me and they were all highly rated, higher end, more elite providers. (For the most part)

I live in a major metro center that has a decent hobby following, just not as good as the adjacent cities like DC, NYC, and Boston. I'm taking the local scene slowly, only seeing 1 or 2 providers a month to build up a local favorites list.  

Must do list:
Hobby phone
Hobby email
VIP membership on TER
Join P411 as it will make verifications immensely easier
Plan your budget,  i.e. Is $1,000 a month affordable and easily removed from household funds?
Plan providers ahead of time that you want to see as this will give you insight into your budget  

-- Modified on 9/23/2014 6:10:19 PM

If you have a compulsive personality, you really have to be careful with the hobby.  

Thinking with your little head can lead to mistakes. Mistakes can have a real impact on your life.
You can get assaulted, busted, ripped off or you can catch something for example. Most of the smart
people I know who do this put some time in planning their adventures.

The money out flow trips up a lot of people with the home front. I hope you have a plan for that.

The initial rush will pass. You may end up feeling like you have to see someone instead of wanting too. It will be good for you to take out of town trips and pass on any adventures. Gives you balance.

Others gave you the basics about phones, email etc. I have nothing to add there.

In closing, the Hobby is a contact sport. People can get hurt playing contact sports

This is great advice.  I've been voraciously reading the boards and I think I know where I'm at.  For now I'm just going to enjoy the ride.  It's not often you get to do something so new and exciting as a middle aged guy.  

I think I'm smart enough to only use high end providers and not think with the little head.  Time will tell.

Money flow is totally covered but thanks for that.  Several have mentioned it