Most of us veteran providers are more than happy to not only provide a reference in a timely manner, but to offer any help in addition that one might need. All we ask is to let US know that you are legit somehow. I do not answer a single thing about the patrons I have visited with, if I can't prove the person asking is actually a provider.  

The last thing anyone wants to do is give an Okay to a guy's wife who put up some free site, made up a fake provider email, and is posing as an escort. This is why free sites for women who have no reviews, are discouraged...many wives have used them as a pawn to imitate being a provider. Not every provider knows to ask the client if he did in fact contact so and so at x email, before running her mouth about how great he was.

It's all in the name of safety and discretion for both parties.  As BWB pointed out, without some kind of identification, how is the provider to know who she is giving information to?  Giving it to the wrong person could be disasterous for both the provider and the potential client.

Swim

thanks for the advice

it introduces myself, and states why I am emailing. then includes the client info (putting as much as I can)  

like name, email, phone#. handle, when he last saw her, a jolt for her memory.

Then I make sure to end with my name, email, phone#, website address, and link to my reviews, so she knows I am established.

I only like to email for a reference

I have been given 2 nicknames by my ATFs and if need a ref i just have them ask for that name and they lovely ladys know who she is referring to right away. Plus i am a hard guy to forget anyway. I dont blend into a crowd so to speak.