New to this. Asked a provider (politely) well into our chat about arrangements if she didn't mind me asking how regularly she is tested and if she also uses oral contraceptive. Reaction was livid and she accused me of suggesting she was dirty. I calmly explained I was simply trying to be safe and would gladly answer any similar questions she may have.  

If you are practicing safe sex, these questions (and their answers) are irrelevant.  If you are NOT practicing safe sex, these questions (and answers) have no power to keep you "safe".  

Amen.

With due respect, I don't consider it a waste of time to inquire about safe sex practices of someone who's job involves a larger volume of sex. Or that it is irrelevant. You are right I am the guardian of my own health and safety, but 100% is not within my control. I cannot control if a condom breaks or if the provider entertains m unsafe practices with others that exposes me to greater risk. That's the whole point of screening for stis on a regular basis or taking oral contraception isn't it?  Anyways I can accept that the information is a bit intrusive, but let's not pretend these questions are "irrelevant" or have never crossed anyone's minds.

First, if you can't realize the question is offensive to a provider, then you are way to immature to hobby. Should the lady ask you if you regularly beat your wife or kids or if you've ever hit a woman?  Should she ask you how much do you drink each week or if you ever used coke or smoked weed? Should she ask you if you have ever spent time in jail or a psyche ward? Should she ask you how much money you make annually and could she see your tax returns to validate? Should she ask you to show her your stock portfolio? After all, she is going to get naked in a room with you to have sex so she should make sure that you are an upstanding citizen with tremendous morals/values who is not going to cause her physical or mental harm and who has the financial where with all and stability to pay her donation. I am sure you'd be happy to answer these questions and provide any and all necessary proof she requires prior to a session.    

Have you seen any providers yet?

Thanks for for the thoughtful response. Fair points and will keep that in mind going forward.

Great to hear that, and I appreciate your sincere response.

You are taking this way too personally and your analogies are completely off point (whether my morals are upstanding has n bearing on risks of contracting STI). I was being honest and open about a legit fear I have but unlike the other more thoughtful responses above, you are being hysterical. And you are right anything can happen between November and January. It's not about eliminating risk it's about reducing it though (adult film stars have a similar system, they get tested every couple weeks, when they perform they don't have 100% assurance but it is still something they undergo to reduce likelihood of getting STI). I'm sorry you find it offensive (if a provider asked me, honestly, I wouldn't have no inhibition telling her about what safety measures I take so that's where I was coming from). I only ask because I care.

You have "a legitimate concern" about contracting an STD, so you ask her if she is clean and disease free. Conversely,  she may have a "legitimate concern" about not being beaten so she asks you if you ever hit a woman in the past. She may have a "legitimate concern" about not being cheated financially, so she asks you to prove you can handle the donation. She may have a "legitimate concern" about not being in the presence of anyone who uses drugs, so she asks you about your drug/alcohol intake. All the same line of questioning.... Both parties would be trying to make sure they are having sex with someone who is clean/disease free (in your case) and not an asshole who will cause her any harm (in her case)

You articulated it perfectly. I wish I had your eloquence.

Gosh, I would sell my soul to get a review from you.

You could have saved a lot of time typing by simply saying "Trust no one". Thats a good piece of advice. Otherwise please troll someone else, I don't appreciate your tone. As I said I'm new to this (though perhaps I will not go any further if I have to deal with mouth breathers like you). You can patronize all you want, like I said, I only asked because I care. I hope you don't run into someone who doesn't.

I'm tested every 2 months and have papers to show

If you ask it, i'll most likely assume that you're gonna push for bareback.

You came to the forum asking for advice. He gave you thorough, honest, candid advice. You are being rude accusing him of "trolling" just because you can't take the answer. You have not gone amy further than you started--wasting people's time--and I doubt you will go any further than that.

"asking how regularly she is tested and if she also uses oral contraceptive"

It's under the General Boards drop down. They play nicer on the newbie board. Btw, there's a search feature on all boards where you can see if your question has been asked before. There's very few questions that haven't been asked.

Great point. I hadn't thought of that. The original poster emailed me today trying to get an appointment, I was thoroughly creeped out.

sites like seeking arrangement where the men ask stuff like that and then assume you're just going to have unprotected sex with them -_- why on earth would anyone take that risk? Getting tested is important in this line of work and I do it fairly frequently.

Just connected the dots (didn't realize it was you who I emailed) and no I wasn't going for BB. Jesus. Get a life. Sorry I asked a super paranoid question (ppl have committed worse sins). Enjoy your life.

Off topic but omg is there a like a best of "seeking arrangement" is awful repository with things like this?

A lot of us when new made small errors like this so do not feel badly. It's normal as you learn the ropes. Essentially if you are kind, clean, respectful of rates (only ask for discount if offered in ad), write good intro email and most importantly HAVE FUN, you'll be ok. Regarding last part, feel at ease cause these women are almost always clean. You are better off than with random girl.

Not officially but if you go on tumblr and see the sugar baby blogs, you'll see just how delusional lots of "sugar daddies" are. For my sanity, I got rid of all rude and insulting messages from those men.