Hello everyone!!!
Help me with this...Do you like when a beautiful young blonde chick comes up to you and tells you point blank that :"You are so sexy. I have a crush on you.I have fantasies about you."
What do you say and what do you respond...
Question for the guys...
Do men like to be pursued, or to pursue..and why??
In real life of course not in hobby...

-- Modified on 8/27/2011 5:18:12 PM

Seriously, I vote for pursued. Since she already set up the situation, all I need to do is to let her know that I am also interested in her.  Then, I would just "go along with the ride" and see how things develop.

Pursued.  Takes all the responsibility upon the lady.  She has to pursue, ask, request and lead.  The man then just has to fo along.  Takes all the pressure off the male.  The male in history always had to be the pursuer, provider and the person responsible for any failures.  After awhile it works on a male ego, the stress of rejection, especially with what you have termed a gorgeous, young blonde.
If a female did the pursuing, and if she happens to be rejected for whatever reason, then the female later in life will have compassion and more respect for the male and the burden we undertake.

Now, this can also be the same in a P4P relationship.  If the lady enjoyed the males company, not just for economic reasons (meaning-if she pursued him and he was charged as in a P4P encounter and he covered expenses for 1 hr and was then granted 4 hrs of company at no additional request), that then showed that the lady does really enjoy the males company and she was the pursuing partner, removing stress from the male to perform in that slotted time frame and not really relax.

As a chick with enough social intelligence about the opposite sex, you should already know men like to be pursued.

And yes, I've been approached countless times by hotties at clubs/bars, or wherever else telling me how sexy and hot I am.  Never heard the "fantasies" part though.  When stuff like this happens, I casually shrugg it off with a "thank you", but don't act too excited about it or overly interested, as not to give off a desperate vibe, even though I wanna f*ck the shit out of this chick...I basically play it cool and get a convo. rolling, and hopefully get her back to my place that night .

-- Modified on 8/27/2011 10:19:02 PM

-- Modified on 8/27/2011 10:31:15 PM

If you walked up to a random guy and said that he would probably be taken off guard and not know how to respond. I have found that if someone catches my eye all she has to do is look me in the eye and smile and I will come get her. With that said a sexually agressive woman can be liberating. If she throws me on the bed and starts kissing me gives me license to let the dogs out if you know what I mean

. . . but, for me, I love smart, confident and aggressive women who, when they see something they want, they go after it.  I love that socially in a woman and in the boudoir.  No wallflowers "dropping hints" and being coy for me.  Short of being clubbed over the head and dragged off (which I might even consider interesting provided they do not do too much damage), being pursued is better IMHO as it is a clear indicator of traits I like in a woman.  Women who pursue tend to be less likely to "play games" IMHO also.  Like me, they consider it a waste of time.

When it happens, the response on my end is usually along the lines of directing the to a place where we are able to converse on a deeper level and then see where that takes us.  Alas, it is so rare for me these days!!

Dear blue6314
I cannot believe that nobody made a remark on you yet.
I am just wondering thats all...
Since is highly unlikely for a girl, blonde or brunette to get arrested for sexual harassment, I am just wondering on this hurricane weekend why more women are doing it...
After all the worst thing that can happen is rejection...
and the guy eo is being boosted anyway...
I am just wondering why women are not doing it...
Any time I am on a  party with my girlfriends they are waiting for hours for a guy to come up to them and say something and do something.
And sometimes never happens. Isn't it much simpler to go to the guy and tell point black ?

Thanks for all of your smart answers.
What I meant is not the entire pursuing or the whole process but to make that 1st step.
I mean if a girl someone but he doesnt know it.
It takes a lot of time to sit around, go to the places he goes, just to accidently meet him
and wait till he aks you out.
Isn't it more efficient just to make that 1st step?
I don't mean that the girl should do the entire pusuing and hounting and conquest but just that 1st step.
And the other thing...
Why dont't you guys are saying that "never happend to you", I am sure it hapened to every one of you.
It's the same as when guys come to me and sayin': "I never did it in the A-hole..."

Hi Isabela,

I'm a big fan of the seduction/attraction dynamic and its fascinating to hear the opinion of a sexually empowered woman. I definitely agree that women should take a more active role, but only in as far as it actually satisfies what they want. I've met plenty of women that admit that sure, they could go up and hit on any guy at the bar they want and get a positive reaction. But part of the turn on for them, at least as they have told me, is getting approached by the one guy who isn't intimidated by them. As you said, if you are a beautiful woman and you are sitting around waiting for someone to talk to you and it's making you miserable, you are only hurting yourself. It would be great if women broke down that gender stereotype and made the first move once in a while.

But... the main problem I think is men. How terrible is it that so many women are put in this predicament? It's sad that men nowadays have such a fear of rejection that they aren't actively making the first move, respectfully of course, more often. The social ego of the American male is pretty fragile so remember that when taking that first step.

The bright side for women however, is that if they massage and stroke the male ego, much like the rest of the anatomy, it will become bolder and stronger. If you want to make the first move, it doesn't need to be a bold declaration of a sexual fantasy. A few subtle hints will get him going if done right. That will enable him and his ego to feel like they are the manly aggressor, and you to remain the coy, demure seductress. If tha's what you want of course! If you are trying to live out a devilish fantasy, by all means act on it! Worst that can happen is you find out that he isn't up to the challenge and you can move on to the next potential (and lucky) suitor.

No young blond chick and not these words.
Instead she would come to me at the reception after my speech and ask for a copy of it. And through discrete smile and body language she would show that she would like me to invite her to dinner and discuss it. And I would.

Yeah, I can definitely tell you, the guys getting the most results in this game, are the guys who just cold-approach and don't give a f*ck about rejection.  And LOTS of these guys aren't even good-looking or are total dweebs.  As much as a guy gets approached and hit on, 95% of the time, it ain't happening, no matter how good-looking the guy is...which is why it's so vital to approach if you wanna keep a steady flow of women.    

-- Modified on 8/28/2011 10:42:22 AM

My god, if men cannot pursue women - where is the chivalry in this world? I love men that open doors, bring flowers, pull out chairs and well,are true 'gentlemen' with class. Men are the bees that pollenate the flowers (and yes, WE women are the flowers boys). Romance is the key to get a woman in bed and in your heart. If a man wants a woman to pursue her how much fun is that? UGH. I want a MAN not a GIRL. Any guy that thinks he's so great that he doesn't need to pursue women shouldn't even deserve romance and a great woman. Like someone said, at a bar when you're drunk and a drunk girl hits on you - then chalk it up to a one night stand (that most likely sucks anyways with the chance of getting some disease). If men want quality, then act like quality - don't wait around for some aggressive girl to pursue YOU. Men (in my opinion) do not take any girl seriously anyways  if she is the pursuer - eventually he will dump her and do what men should be - pursue and conquer. God save the real MEN!

And I have been pining for your bodacious butt since you gave me your card with  your lipstick kiss on the back of it at CSJ's farewell party (or could it have been another Octavia M&G?). I'm away right now, but it will happen.

Sometimes guys need some encouragement, but at the end of the day it is the man's job to pursue. That's just the way it is. The genders may be equal but that does not mean they play the same role in nature.