A recent encounter with a repeat friend has provoked this thread:

 Just as many comments have implied throughout threads on many forums, including this one.
We did not meet on match.com.
That doesn't mean that a connection is not possible. I feel real deep physical and mental connections to many of the friends I've made in this capacity.  
But let's not pretend that this thing we have will magically become a life long partnership. Because chances are slim to none.

As a provider I respect my friends and their needs which I am obliged and delighted to fullfill.  

As a hobbyist, it should be understood that the nature of the relationship: is what it is.

 
Since I know everyone is smart enough to see where I'm going with this,  consider my post a friendly reminder to humans alike.

Going into a situation make sure you are ok with the technicalities and capable of grasping reality.

Luv ya!

Xo

By good friends I mean know each other's real identities, keep in touch after retirement, and in some cases met family members.

And, if it ever came to pass that we would "hook up", unless I was explicitly told otherwise, I'd expect to pay.

If someone thinks a long term good working relationship with an escort is going to turn into a romance where money is no longer exchanged, then they are not equipped to participate in this hobby.

Sadly, some people who lack social skills and self awareness do end up here, because they are also not equipped for a real, healthy relationship.  So, invariably, escorts will have to deal with those who don't understand the dynamic.  It's the nature of the beast

Touche my dear! Beautiful reply.

I don't know the key to success, but the key to failure is trying to please everybody.

 
Any way  want to  reflect on Alexa's words-

 "But let's not pretend that this thing we have will magically become a life long partnership  "

Pretending - is never good idea..it is how you feel at the  moment.

(if you do not think if I am pretending  or not -  then you are pretending  

- if IT - )chemistry connection , care, happiniess to be together ) if all those factors ARE  there in your heart -  word "pretending "would not come toy your mind
- you just feel that way.- or you do not.

 Person has to be happy at the VERY same moment when she/ he is happy,
 you have to be happy to talk to him/her , hold his hand, look in to his eyes, listen him, be next to him..kiss and more - no pretending., no fake smiles and "baby you are the best" he/she would feel that  

THAT  MUST  be applied NOT just to Hobby .. but to a  real world as well ..  

How many wives said  
"I do" for wrong reasons? Pretending...

So providers, escorts, should not think that relationship with man - or it s fro one eve  or for rest of the life  would be developing in different ways then if you will date him - you going to date with him if you glad to see him
 Or you are going take his money  and pretend and suddenly feel something good about him? Then we start talk - pretending or sincerely ..feelings  
Main reason you accept date - is FUN  
 Not money  it is wrong WRONG to think about money when you do to date .. but so sad to recognize that escorts accept dates when they do not feel ANY connection.
 Who fault ? Gentlemen ?? Please fix it!! We women are full of love and good feelings ( read Alexa post - rove to that)

So there  are not much difference from  a real world -gentlemen wives are pretending way more then escorts here.
 As matter of the  fact escorts are pretending  way  LESS.

 There no need to pretend in adult hobby .  

No need to pretend AT ALL  HERE .

Man come here to escape this kind of "pretending" things at home  

As to Wateclone  words -
"Sadly, some people who lack social skills and self awareness do end up here, because they are also not equipped for a real, healthy relationship"
 Words of the gold.
As well as again his words
 " If someone thinks a long term good working relationship with an escort is going to turn into a romance where money is no longer exchanged"
I just add -  word " escort" has to be substitute with word " Woman"
 Then it be complete.
Woman or escort, or GF, or wife.. Only may be with mother it is different  yet there a lot of evidences in our society where and relationship with mothers also  about money exchange one way or other.

In general- very good post

 Did enjoy it a lot- I have  a lot of friends who know all about me And I know as well about them a lot.
 Starting from linked in - real one not fake with zero connections.
 
 10000000 roses fro those two posts Alexa and Waterline  

 
 

-- Modified on 7/10/2015 4:16:19 PM

While I am not out there looking for freebies, I have had a LOT of relationships that started off as me being a paying customer and that grew into much more.

I think after literally thousands of encounters over several decades of doing this, I am pretty well equipped to participate in this hobby, and while I will agree to never EXPECT the relationship will grow, the truth is it happens all the time.

I've been participating in the hobby now for about 9 years and for me the girls that I enjoy the most -- chemistry so to speak it's not all about the money-- I've had numerous OTC encounters with my most ATF girls consistently-- it's all about give and take -- friends with benefits-- I provide benefits not just monetarily -- help with there business ambitions-- and so forth. To all you providers unless your a career provider and plan on doing this for years and years I agree no attachments but if your into it for the short run -- yes I believe you develop some type of a relationship.
IP Dailey

I don't go into this thinking I may become the next girlfriend or wife.., I don't look to become a permanent fixture in anyones life. The clean cut understanding and exchange creates healthy boundaries that allow each party to maintain the normalcy of their world with the added spice that comes from this underground hobby.
Hobbying as a way to find love... I don't think is the healthiest idea. Hobbying with intentions to change the dynamic down the road.. wouldn't settle well with me.
But I'm also not one to look for love in the bar after a scotch on the rocks.
Not that im looking to be the next madame. . (You name it) I do choose to respect the art and balance of this kind of relationship.

Of course to each, his own. I'm not saying my way is the golden standard, but for me, its the golden standard

I am a girl whose highly charged energy is allowed release through passionate interaction and touch/play.
The balances and boundaries that I choose to keep in place, in everything I do, allow me to harness my energy and direct it healthily in the right direction. My sacrifices for the choices I make are real but i feel justified in what I do and how I am benefitted for it.
For me, connections are real and I am genuine. For the balance, I handle the delicate with great regard.

Xoxo

-- Modified on 7/11/2015 12:11:31 AM

Connections can be made if you are open to it.  Especially in bed...

If your pal is a car mechanic, you may ask for a discount but you won't expect them to work on the car for free. If you become pals with a provider, then this is still her job. I think its OK to get for a discount "freind" rate but not a freebee and to be fair the provider should initiate the discount or maybe an extra service (no charge for sleep over, etc) for a client that eventually becomes a client and a freind. That is just my 2 cents - I am too new to the hobby to have real life example at this point. This just seems proper etiquette.

She is just putting it nicely for you guys so she won't lose business if she stated how she really felt, but in her head this is what she really means.

She doesn't care for you emotionally or physically, eom  

MidAgedCEO...
You spelled wallet wrong.

Your interpretation is also inaccurate.  

Good day.

I think you hit the nail on the head here. I would say - and maybe it's just me being an idiot and gullible - but there is a SLIGHT chance that if you are younger and in mediocre shape she MIGHTY be minimally attracted to you compared to a client of her's who is in the 60s/70s etc (no offense to older gentlemen and I'm sure there are several of you more dapper and more attractive than guys half your age)...but that's just with her picking he lesser of 2 evils. If she saw you walking down the street she wouldn't even notice.

But I will agree it should be the lady who initiates any OTC or freebies, and it should most definitely be up to her if she is going to give you the "friend rate" the "boy friend rate" or what ever rate she wants to charge you.

Now getting back to our little car mechanic analogy, yes I have had several mechanic friends who have worked on my car/s for free, usually a matter of coming over, having a few beers and spending a couple of hours working on my car while we shot the shit. Friends do this kind of thing for each other, but a real friend won't just take advantage of his mechanic buddy and not do at least "something" to reciprocate. The same should apply to hooker "friends" as well.

Case in point, I am seeing an active provider currently, we are not BF/GF, but we are somewhere between being friends and being BF/GF I don't give her a penny for sex, nor do I give her a penny for her "time" as she now sees me because she wants to, not because I pay her to. We talk several times a day, but we don't see each other anywhere near every day and our "dates" are strictly "sex optional" we have sex when she wants to, and on her terms, not on demand like when I was her customer. In return, besides her getting the pleasure of my company. lol I do all the boyfriend time stuff with her like taking her to dinner, taking her shopping etc. She must like me at least a little bit, because if I go more than 12 hours without sending her at least a short text she starts asking where I am.  

There is no any one right or wrong way to do this, and I will agree that "expecting" this type of relationship would be foolish, but they happen a LOT more often than many of you think, and they have happened several times to me, and I am hardly rich or handsome. I am however available, understanding and I suppose "not repulsive" lol

& coz she's hot. 💁🏼

OF course we're here for the money. I make no bones about it.  

-- Modified on 7/11/2015 3:11:42 PM

and using that to throw out generalizations. It's fine if you have a rule that clients remain forever clients no matter what. But, not all providers have that rule, as others have explained to you here. Of course, any deviation from the client/provider relationship should be completely dictated by the provider.
I'm not going to speculate on why you had the issue with that client. Maybe he was an idealist who let himself believe that things had evolved beyond a certain point with you. Or maybe you sent him some mixed signals. Regardless, he should have explicitly checked where he stood with you without making assumptions. But, from there, for you to make generalizations that it's always and forever about the "mutual benefit" is extending your view of the world to everyone else. By the way, I would agree with you that it's always about the "mutual benefit" if you could be open-minded enough to recognize that the "benefit" doesn't always have to be cold hard cash; unless the lady says so, of course

Let's agree that some providers will have some clients who they truly enjoy being with and having sex with but the relationship is already fixed as a business arrangement and can't easily be changed. I have known two escorts who tried. One married a client and it turned out to be a disaster. One followed her surgeon client from FL to NYC and tried to have a relationship. She was artsy and alternative. She hated his friends and vice-versa. Plus she did not enjoy being monogamous. Many of you sweet providers out there love sex and don't want to settle down with one guy..

but we all know that you have favorite clients and are happy when they call. And they may receive some special attention or time.

I've had a lot of new or kind of new clients become "confused", let's say, about how I truly feel about them and their expectations may be unreasonably high.  They begin hoping for something more because they are convinced that there is something more between Them and me.   They have not yet realized that I strive to make all of my clients feel good in this way. That's what I do.

Then they start getting pissy. If I'm having fun, if I truly like them, then why won't I see them for less money or off the clock...?

It doesn't happen often because I don't see that many newbies anymore. And most newbies are reasonable.    

I have not had any long time hobbyists become confused about my boundaries at all.

Personally, I do not blur my boundaries ever. I just don't think it's fair. I might like some clients more than others but I don't give them a different rate or spend extra time with them.   This is a real job to me and I try to be professional about it

I also have to agree on this one.  

It is important to establish a relationship, most of all have chemistry too. From experience I have helped this lady who I met 3 years ago, we both know each other on a personal level and every so often I do get some extras when I go for a session, a free hour, etc, but I try not to abuse our relationship.

Dude, your relationship has moved into another level than friends is how I see it. My freinds don't wonder where I am every 12 hours. Congrats!

More of an "I miss you" kind of way, but with no demands on my time.

 
That's cool. Providers are people, too. Their job should be legal and regulated anyway.

I'm really good friends with Inland Revenue, i am one of their most loyal clients who never let them down.

In fact i am so loyal that this year they contacted me and offered me a discount

This is the problem with some guy's, you assume because you develop a friendship with a provider that suddenly you should be offered a discount.  Or you expect a discount as some proof that the girl is really fond of you, as soon as you have these expectations it already shows me that you are not capable of having a friendship with a provider.

You get a hair cut on a monthly basis, does your hairdresser offer you a discount?  Doubtful.
You buy your groceries on a weekly basis, does your grocer offer you a free hour of shopping? Doubtful.
You pay your car insurance on a yearly basis, for being a loyal customer do they offer you a free year of insurance? Doubtful

See where i'm going with this........

To be fair, some clients do get discounts in many kind of businesses due to client loyalty. GM offers a loyalty program for example. But it should be up to the provider to do this as a business decision. This is different from a discount one would offer a friend - my example is your pal is a car mechanic and he charges you less money because he is your pal. Again, this is up to provider and the client to determine and of course I am speaking in generalities.