Write Review
2,074,484 Total Reviews 3,862 New Reviews
10,241 Users Online

New York

tough one
VIPBianca 287 reads
posted

With her background she probably equates sex with bad and dirty.  At the same time she obviously enjoys sex and is secretely wanting to explore, but maybe thinks only "bad girls" do things like that, or that you will see her differently if she lets herself be free with you.  Pressure never works..if anything that will make her more determined to "protect her virtue".  Best thing u can do is make her feel really good and set up a romantic night at home..tell her how beautiful she is, how much you want her and only her, but in a more idealic way than just raw dirty talk, and see if maybe letting her feel how good and powerful it is to be worshiped as a sex goddess is, and she'll be open to being one.  But this plan isn't fool proof.  As they say...you can only lead a horse to water, you can't make them have anal sex. It is important your satisfied in the bedroom.  Maybe your fighting a loosing battle; sorry :(

juanin7billion543 reads

I need some help from the ladies on this board and perhaps some of the men too. I am trying to get some kinkier sex from a civilian I am seeing. She is from a small town in Indiana and her father is Pastor Larry at the local church. We have great sex (oral, doggie, reverse cowgirl, she even rims a little etc.), but I am trying to ease her into anal sex as well as milking my prostate. She is a little conservative with certain things and the few times we have talked about anal she has turned sheepish saying she is not into it, but during foreplay/sex I have been easing my way in by massaging her anus. I have done this several dozen times. Last week I made my move and streaked a little lube from her vagina over to her anus with a circular motion. She again seemed pleasured by it so I slowly inserted my index finger in her butt to moans and groans of pleasure. I have a problem though. I can’t just do the same with my penis as I am worried it would be too much of a shock and cause her too much pain especially without a good amount of lube and preparation. In between sessions while we smoke cigarettes I have asked her about trying it, but she again said “no”. When we are all sexed up and in the heat of the moment she goes with the flow, but when we talk about it outside of sex she is against it or at least against admitting that she’ll try it. The girl won’t even admit that she masturbates regularly. Sometimes I find that she has been watching my porn DVDs and she is embarrassed to even admit that she watches porn. I was hoping to break the ice with anal and then move on to her milking my prostate, but I don’t want to fuck up a good thing or make her feel bad, guilty or pressured. This is embarrassing to admit as we are both in our thirties and you’d think that we can just experiment without shame or embarrassment. We are both grown adults.

I really have a silly little problem here that I want to handle correctly. I know this sounds a little immature, but it is what it is. I really enjoy this woman’s company and do not want to traumatize her or alienate her over this small matter.

Can anyone give me some good advice as to how to deal with these issues? What are your experiences or advice?

J

ReplyQuoteReport
SindeeNYC217 reads



-- Modified on 9/20/2012 3:48:15 PM

ReplyQuoteReport
juanin7billion273 reads

I tried to just delete it, but I cannot. After reading what I wrote I realized I am being disrespectful, selfish and juvenile. I should just be happy with her affection and stop trying to force the issue. I guess I wanted to have my cake and eat it too.

Sorry Folks,

J

ReplyQuoteReport
GLS335 reads

But do take evwry step to ensure a pleasant experience for her.
Respect her feelings and just take it slow. The trip may be just as good as the vacation at the Geek Isles.

Related Link: http://www.ginaslittlesecretblog.blogspot.com

ReplyQuoteReport
VIPBianca288 reads

With her background she probably equates sex with bad and dirty.  At the same time she obviously enjoys sex and is secretely wanting to explore, but maybe thinks only "bad girls" do things like that, or that you will see her differently if she lets herself be free with you.  Pressure never works..if anything that will make her more determined to "protect her virtue".  Best thing u can do is make her feel really good and set up a romantic night at home..tell her how beautiful she is, how much you want her and only her, but in a more idealic way than just raw dirty talk, and see if maybe letting her feel how good and powerful it is to be worshiped as a sex goddess is, and she'll be open to being one.  But this plan isn't fool proof.  As they say...you can only lead a horse to water, you can't make them have anal sex. It is important your satisfied in the bedroom.  Maybe your fighting a loosing battle; sorry :(

ReplyQuoteReport
juanin7billion234 reads

I explained my situation to friend of mine from high school the other day and he said "good luck, I have been trying to get anal sex from my wife for the past 15 years and that shit just ain't happening". He told me to "be happy I am getting any sex". lol

I felt like an asshole after posting this, but I am sure that I am not the only one who wants more from their partner in the bedroom.  I think there is the mindset that if you do these things the person will lose respect for you. I guess there has to be some trust built up or it is just a "no go". My past experience tells me that girls either do "it" or don't. I was just looking for a short-cut to figuring out the Rubik's Cube.

Like Don Quixote I will keep charging at my windmill.

J

ReplyQuoteReport
crazyshit266 reads

Try sliding your cock against her ass when you're in doggy position.  Get out the lube and rub it against her pussy and ass.

If she likes the feeling, try pushing the head against her hole without putting it in, and see if she moans and finds pleasure in it.  If she does, then increase the pressure, and push the very, very tip of your cock into her ass, and see if she responds.  Continue doing this, and you might find that she is responsive to this.

Most women who love anal sex do it when they are relaxed.  My own experience has been that women who are most open to this do it when they have had so many orgasms through oral or vaginal sex that they are open to having a different experience.  The key is to have her be relaxed.

Good luck.  There is no one-size-fits-all answer to this, and this is just how I have been successful in the past.

ReplyQuoteReport
juanin7billion244 reads

I really appreciate your advice CS, but I was hoping to go about this in a different way. I wanted advice as to what she is thinking and how to understand her a little better. I wanted a truly honest assessment of what is going on in a woman's head when they shut their partner down in this way.  When I talk to her I feel I am not getting an honest answer. It may stem from the fact that we have history together and it did not end well the first time around. In the heat of the moment I tried the "oops, sorry I placed it in the wrong cupboard" and was waved back by the base coach.

With this post I was trying to get inside her head and try to figure out why some women have such an issue with anal sex and the anus area for that matter. I am sure pain is a reason, but I think it is just more of a societal taboo or a trust/respect thing.

It is think it is similar to a man admitting that he likes his prostate massaged. It goes against certain programming. I have no problem disclosing that having a finger up my butt is OK. In fact I would highly recommend it. I had a date with a provider last week and she, no joke, gave me the best orgasm of my life. Hands down, bar none, THE BEST and she did it using oral skills and an accompanied index finger. I was hyperventilating and it took me five minutes to regain my composure. After that I decided that any relationship that has any chance of working for me in the long run has to begin by satisfying all my urges or I will definitely look somewhere else. I am not sure if an open menu will keep my eye from wandering, but it is my theory and I am trying to at least test the hypothesis. I am getting old and I need to think about settling down. A healthy sex life is a huge part of that. I don’t want to be looking somewhere else for services.

This is probably the wrong place to ask for relationship advice, but it is in some ways the most honest board I know. There are some very smart, honest and open people here wedged in between the hype.

J

ReplyQuoteReport
crazyshit312 reads

You should ask her.  That's really the only way.  Everything else is just conjecture.

ReplyQuoteReport
Lioness2270317 reads

Posted By: juanin7billion
I need some help from the ladies on this board and perhaps some of the men too. I am trying to get some kinkier sex from a civilian I am seeing. She is from a small town in Indiana and her father is Pastor Larry at the local church. We have great sex (oral, doggie, reverse cowgirl, she even rims a little etc.), but I am trying to ease her into anal sex as well as milking my prostate. She is a little conservative with certain things and the few times we have talked about anal she has turned sheepish saying she is not into it, but during foreplay/sex I have been easing my way in by massaging her anus. I have done this several dozen times. Last week I made my move and streaked a little lube from her vagina over to her anus with a circular motion. She again seemed pleasured by it so I slowly inserted my index finger in her butt to moans and groans of pleasure. I have a problem though. I can’t just do the same with my penis as I am worried it would be too much of a shock and cause her too much pain especially without a good amount of lube and preparation. In between sessions while we smoke cigarettes I have asked her about trying it, but she again said “no”. When we are all sexed up and in the heat of the moment she goes with the flow, but when we talk about it outside of sex she is against it or at least against admitting that she’ll try it. The girl won’t even admit that she masturbates regularly. Sometimes I find that she has been watching my porn DVDs and she is embarrassed to even admit that she watches porn. I was hoping to break the ice with anal and then move on to her milking my prostate, but I don’t want to fuck up a good thing or make her feel bad, guilty or pressured. This is embarrassing to admit as we are both in our thirties and you’d think that we can just experiment without shame or embarrassment. We are both grown adults.

I really have a silly little problem here that I want to handle correctly. I know this sounds a little immature, but it is what it is. I really enjoy this woman’s company and do not want to traumatize her or alienate her over this small matter.

Can anyone give me some good advice as to how to deal with these issues? What are your experiences or advice?

J

ReplyQuoteReport
Post Reply Back To Forum
Register Now!