I posted this on the national board and someone suggested I post here.  I hope that I can prevent this from happening to others and hopefully others will be smarter than I was.  This guy is obviously scum and actions like this speak to the possibility that he may do more devious and dangerous things to providers down the road.  So if anyone would like his info, please email me at [email protected].  Id like to remain annonymous here, but once you email me Ill be more than happy to give you my name and the link to my webite so you know Im for real.
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Ive been a provider now for about 7 months and during this time Ive only gotten excellent reviews. I try to make every man I see as the most important thing that graced this earth. And as such, I give really memorable sessions and most of the men just love me.  At the same time though, Ive always been quite naive about people and I truly only look at the good in people. While my naivity and sweetness has for the most part been a positive factor in this biz (considering I live in NYC where cynics reign), it was last week that I had the unfortunate event that these apsects of me made me realize I do need to be more untrusting and cynical of people.  And this makes me very sad.

Im at a loss here and before I let my anger take over, I ask for your opinions.  My disclaimer though, yes someone must have hit me with the stupid stick and I am very angry at myself for allowing this to happen.

Last week I had a one hour session with a guy who found me on eros. I meet him late that night at his apt downtown and my first impression was that he seemed like a genuine and caring guy.  He had a very nice apartment and throughout our entire session he treated me with great respect.  I was his first ever escort (so he said) and I could feel his nervousness.  Me being the nice and caring person I am, took control and showed him an outstanding time.  He even went so far as to try to ask me out on a real date, and kept asking if I had a boyfriend. I never cross over, so I just delicately moved the conversation elsewhere. As the session ended, he asked me again how much, and I said $350. As I sat on the couch waiting for him to collect the money he owes me, he surprises me by starting to write a check. I told him I dont accept checks and told him its never done like this, it was a cash only business. He looked somewhat startled and didnt quite know what to do. At this point, he was my fourth client of the day (a lot for me, I usually like to keep it at two a day), so I was tired and it was late at night and I have to say I obviously was not thinking right.  I assumed that by his actions towards me that he was a good honest guy.  So silly me I accepted the check.

Im sure you can guess the rest of the story.  Ill say it anyway. The very next day I deposit it in my account. Three days after that I realize its been returned.  Im assuming because of insufficient funds.  Today, the bank returned the check to me via mail and like a gloating laughing face staring up at me were the words, reason: stop payment.  The f*!#cking a-hole stopped payment!  I have his first and last name, phone number AND address (he said he was an artist so I had no work info). Is he stupid?  I already know I am.  Ive tried calling him quite a few times now to allow him to explain himself, but only get voicemail.  I want to tell him that I can out him, smear his name and info through all the boards, and just threaten him until he pays up. But of course I doubt this is a good idea. I dont know. I have a friend who has "friends" who could collect the money for me. But thats just sketchy and I hate to go there.  But I feel like I cant let this behavior go unnoticed. Yes, I should be lucky it was for only $350 and not more. But it was still enough to cause my bank account to be messed up. I just dont know what to do and Im so angry. Do I let it go? Do I threaten?  Sorry this was so long by the way.

PERIOD. why on earth would you even accept payment afterwards. the ball is in his court once you do the session. The ball is in YOUR court if you get paid first.

If you don't feel comfortable with geting paid first that way than..Bring a pair of underwear with a 350.00 price tag on it and leave it there for him to place the 350 down.He is buying your underwear for 350.00 plain and simple.

You cannot get in trouble that way. Also use your gut feeling, women have this better than men. LE will not bust one girl in a apt. . They always ask for 2.

New York has very little ways that LE can drop the the loopholes.



-- Modified on 1/9/2005 6:47:53 AM

If he has messed up your bank account, then  he knows, or can find out who you are.  You may even want to close your account and switch banks.

My advice is to drop the matter.  $350 is your first tuition payment to the College of Experience.

Good luck.

Al

Chalk it up to a bad experience and move on...

next time...greeenbacks "on the barrel head".

The sun came out Today...Enjoy!

Cheers!

Money you can always make.  You never know how someone is going to react if you try and get back at him in some way shape or form.  ALWAYS get payment up front to avoid this again.  Remember, some lessons could be much more costly.

Some people might say that it's only money and you weren't physically hurt, so just learn the lesson.  Well, you've learned your lesson, and someone needs to teach that bad client a lesson also.  You've got all his info, so do what you gotta do to teach him a lesson.  Good luck.

Yes, the lesson was learned and $350 is not a huge sum...but remember...you can be his biggest nightmare.  Out him and call his office and leave him message with his assistant or doorman.  Don't be obsessive but put it in your palm as a to do everyday for 2 minutes.

I'm not a big fan of paying in the begining....it's way to businesslike...but with new clients without good references...sometimes there's no choice.

It saddens me to think that people do these kinds of things to each other. I'm going to try to work through the possibilities as I see them; I hope it helps you:

If you were to 'out' him on this board, it could escalate into something really bad -- he could in turn write you bad review, which you might be able to have staff delete; how would that affect business with your good customers? Probably not much, but what about future relations?? I think it's a good idea, because ultimately Staff becomes the arbiter in this situation, but do the repercussions out-weigh the benefits? Your choice.

I think your idea to 'out' him on the back channel is brilliant(hey staff there should be a mechanism for this, availaible only to providers). I think this has been discussed before somewhere on this & the national board.

If you called him about it may not do any good, but actually might do some harm -- I think it has been discussed numerous times the 'bad form' of a provider who calls customers. Doing so repetitivlely could create a big problem; what would be the explanation for your behavior?

Letting it go and learning from the experience is another option, albeit not nescessarily a financially favorable or emotionally satifying one. This is clearly not your 'fault' and you shouldn't take it as so.

Sending a squad of goons after him will ultimately net you far more trouble than any of the above should they succeed in causing mr. no-pay bodily harm. LE will find the goon squad, and connect you as an accessory -- and that's not too good a situation to be in.

It should always be a priority to get cash on the barrelhead in ANYTHING (it's called 'business'). It's a contract. There is no excuse for non-payment for any service -- regardless of the type.

I hope this helps, and does not offend in any way.

Stay Safe!!

Leave it only. Its a costly lesson to learn.  Since  he gave you a check and you deposited it he probably can or already has you vitals as you have his.  You could do harm to him but he can do harm to you.  Its not worth it. $350.00 is a valuable lesson...Get the greenbacks upfront and consider you gave him a freebie.

Don't let one bad apple spoil the bunch. This one guy may have been a jerk, but don't start looking at other people differently because of him. Continue to see the good in people. That is a good attitude towards people and life in general.

As already pointed out, collect your money before you start the session. I have never had a provider ask me for money because i always place my funds on the table as soon as I walk in. I think this is a common courtesy that all clients should do. If a guy walks in and does not do this, then simply ask him for the money. Do not feel embarassed to do this. This is your money and you want to make sure that you get it. If the client has a problem with that, then to bad. Any decent guy would understand why you are doing it. At least in this situation you could find out if the client is going to play games with you and you can make your decision if you want to stay with the client or just leave.

As far as this jerk goes, I would just let him go. He is not worth the hassle. If $350 means that much to him, then just let him have it. You will make it up on the next client. Just remember to blacklist him and let all the other ladies and agencies know about him, so that he does not burn anyone else.
Good Luck!

Chalk it up to experience and most importantly don't make future clients pay the price for this jerk. If you were to poll providers and hobbiest you'd find that we all have been taken at least once. It's only money, considerate tuition to a lesson well learned. Just remember for each ass there are hundreds of good clients. Just my $.02

I appreciate it.  Im choosing to let it go. Sometime things just arent worth it and I dont like to stay angry. Kinda puts a damper on my life. Karma will kick his ass big time I have no doubt.  

Are you aware that a stop payment is not permanent? The account holder MUST renew the stop payment after a specific amount of time. If the account holder does not renew the stop payment and the check is deposited after the expiration date, the bank will pay the check as long as funds are available.

Here is what you should do:
1. Call his bank and ask them what their stop payment policy is. I would not tell them an account holder stopped a payment on a check he gave you, just ask them what their policy is.
2. Ask his bank how long a check is valid. Meaning most banks will not accept checks after one year from the date of the check.

You may want to try going to the banks website first to see if their policy is online. By all means, if you speak with his bank, do not give them his name or account number. The last thing you want is for his bank to phone him and tip him off that you are aware the stop payment will expire.

Most banks policies for stop payment periods are as follows:
1. Stop payments are valid for 6 months from the reporting date. After that time the stop payment must be renewed.
2. Checks deposited after one year from the date written are not honored.

Check with the bank. Be patient. I know you will have a window of opportunity to re-deposit the check. Even if it's six months from now, be patient and mark a reminder to re-deposit the check depending on the information you receive from his bank. I can just see the look on his face now six months from now if that check clears... Patience my dear... If it doesn’t clear, then you have a NSF to deal with.

If you need help finding out his banks policies, drop me a note and give me his bank name. No need for account info. I will check it out for you.

Here is the policy for Citibank:

Click on the link, scroll down to page 28

"Checks with Stale Dates: We have the right to pay a check even though the date on it is more than 6 months old. To make sure a check will not be paid, you should place a Stop Payment Order on it.

Stop Payment Orders: Any signer on the account can instruct us to stop payment on a check that has not been paid.

You can issue a stop payment order by using Citibank Online or calling CitiPhone Banking®. Payment cannot be stopped on a check that has already been paid or that is in the process of being paid. At the time that you place a stop payment order, we may not be able to tell you whether the check has been paid or is in the process of being paid. We will confirm receipt of your order in writing, and you should advise us immediately of any changes or corrections. A stop payment order will stay in effect for 6 months, unless you instruct us to cancel it or to renew it, provided we have not already returned the check. The order may be renewed for additional six-month periods.

You’ll need to provide your account number, the check number and amount, and the date the check was written. If this information is not exactly correct, the stop payment may not be effective.

We may pay the check when the stop payment order expires. Under certain circumstances, the law may allow the party in possession of the check to enforce payment, despite the stop payment order.” ….. end…

This will all work out in time. This moron won't be smart enough to renew the stop payment. Good luck!