New York

There doesn't need to be a TER blacklist
fallenknight76 13 Reviews 1601 reads
posted
1 / 7

I have been out of the hobby for several years.  Recently have been reaching out to some potential partners a bit and exploring getting back in.   Most have been very receptive and incredibly responsive.   I never have issues providing any verification they require to get comfortable.    A couple have behaved really strangely.  I made initial contact.  They replied and asked for verification information.  I provided it some pretty personal information.  Then nada, zip, zilch.   No response to multiple emails.         I found this to be quite rude.   It made me think they had somehow checked on my TER handle and gotten some kind of negative feedback.   Is there a black ball list on TER?  Or other means by which providers can trash talk hobbyists?  I know there is  white list and references.   I saw a provider some time ago who was having some pretty serious personal issues and with whom i had a falling out with.    She has retired from the scene.  I always gave her great reviews regardless despite the issues.   But wonder if she is someone casting some shade my way.      Any ideas? How can i know?  

lilithgilman See my TER Reviews 135 reads
posted
2 / 7

I can see how providing all of your personal information to a person in this still-underground type-of-business can make you feel vulnerable. So it's too bad that you're required to provide info without any ensuing follow-up.

As far as possibility of having been blacklisted: Yes, it's possible. There are a few blacklists where a provider who had a negative experience with you can put your name on in order to deter others from seeing you.  

Unless you can think of something that would have gotten you blacklisted, I don't think you'll ever know why the providers you've contacted are unresponsive.

zorrf 130 reads
posted
3 / 7

A lot of these girls know each other.  I mean they're checking and giving references all the time, so that makes sense.  I'm sure channels of communication get forged.  So maybe this lady you saw passed the word along to her friends about yall's dispute, and now they don't want your kind of problems.   I guess we all just have to take your word that you're not more culpable in this "falling out" than you portray.  

fallenknight76 13 Reviews 132 reads
posted
4 / 7

Yes  y'all do have to take my word for it.  Any falling out has two parties to it of course.  And some degree of mutual culpability.  I am not assigning blame to anyone.    Nor did i do negative reviews on the party involved or post any negative comments on boards.   But possibly, and i dont know for sure, this was not the case with the person involved who shall remain nameless.   The hobby is a relationship based business.   Hobbyists have every bit as much right to care for and protect their reputations as providers.  

newporter76 5 Reviews 103 reads
posted
5 / 7

A provider friend uses VerifyHim dot com to checkout new contacts. You could enter basic info ( full name, email address, phone) and see what comes up.

priyarainelle See my TER Reviews 114 reads
posted
6 / 7

You cannot gain access to verifyhim to check that info unless you are a provider and pretend to be one. It’s set up that way for safety reasons. Also, no provider should be sharing information the find in any blacklist database with clients. This defeats the purpose of it.  

As far as OP, yes you could be blacklisted somewhere and it may just be that you contacted ladies who have a firm policy against seeing clients with blacklist entries. Keep in mind that the following things are greylist/blacklist worthy:
No call no show
Being unreasonably late to an appointment
Evasiveness during the screening process
Double booking  
Refusing to abide by provider’s guidelines for deposits/cancels after booking an appt  
Boundary pushing  
Posting fake reviews or untruthful or unnecessarily harsh  

 
Among other things.  

Providers input blacklist information so that others are able to make reasonable judgments as to who to see. Just like you, a hobbyist, use reviews or board posts or talk to other clients to decide on what providers to see.  

It could be that said provider input you into the blacklist for whatever issue you all had. Sorry that you had to send in all of your personal information and not hear back. The best anyone could advise you to do is to move on and continue to be as kind and respectful to others as you can be so that other ladies can vouch for you.

CAtoNY 141 Reviews 101 reads
posted
7 / 7

Unfortunately because you have some honest reviews with low scores, some providers may be unwilling to see you out of fear that you’ll score them low and lower their overall TER rating. Or they may not like that you’ve been with certain women. I have experienced what you have before and have been told one version of each.

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