to a client for a miscommunication that occurred and it blows up in our face, is it natural to feel a bit  stung?  
So I had an extended date not to long ago and the hobbyist and I had a brief discussion of meeting again that week while he was in town, however, he had also mentioned he had an event he was in town for and meeting up with an old friend so I REALLY did not think he would rebook. ...well when I spoke with my part time assistant I told her about my time with him but did not tell her he might book again nor the consideration that was discussed. He had emailed a couple days ago and spoke with my assistant who in turn told him my 'extended date' consideration, she knew I was attending to personal stuff that day and did not bother to "ask" me what the heck he was talking about instead she just replied and kept it moving. (since then I have spoken to her about that-ASKING me not TELLING ME) I opened my emails this morning and saw the correspondence between them and my heart did a small heart wheel and thus did not sit well with me. He replied to her with what him and I discussed in private and then also added "he will pass and also he did not know how late his schedule would be, etc"....I emailed him this morning with an very genuine apology and explained that I did not tell my assistant what we had discussed in private regarding meeting again, etc. His reply was something along the lines of "since you didn't  communicate with her you lost out on a 3 hour appointment with dinner, your loss"....WOW-speechless. I have never had a reply like that in the business especially since I apologized.

 How do I handle this? And has anyone ever sent out a genuine 'sorry' and it blew up in their face like this??  
Perhaps my skin isn't "thick" enough for the business if I feel a bit stung. I'm open to hear from providers and hobbyists.

-- Modified on 8/28/2014 3:42:27 PM

This is not a new scenario to either the guy or the girl, and sometimes the shoe is on the other foot.
Guys hear a lot of stories from girls as to why an appointment didn't work out- my car broke down, my phone ran out of batteries, my assistant didn't tell me- and any one of a million different excuses. So looking at the situation from his perspective, he probably thinks that he had a pretty solid arrangement with you- even the consideration and length of time was agreed to at your last meeting. Then when he tries to finalize things, he gets shut down, and perhaps a bit rudely, and he got upset with you.  

And you probably have experienced something similar on your side, where you make an appointment and the guy calls or e-mails at the last minute to cancel for any one of a number of reasons.
If you are interested in seeing the guy again, I would suggest writing him one more time, telling him that you are truly sorry and would have much rather spent time with him in stead of doing nothing, and offer him some extra time or other service or discount for a repeat visit. If he is still mad, there is nothing you can reasonably do about it, and I would just move on with your life and not give it another thought.

Yes, I have already emailed him a reply..I will take this as a lesson learned and move forward. The 'sting' will go away and I'm sure I'm reacting to it like this because I have never had a reply like that. Kinda bruised the great time we had together...but hey, I suppose we all make mistakes and the important thing is learning from them and not letting it happen again.

then be sure to tell your assistant EVERYTHING.  Your assistant is your right hand and they need to know everything you are thinking.  If you are going to see a guy later in the week, tell them.  If you want to give a guy a discount, tell them. If you want to give a guy priority or block a guy, they need to know. Your assistant needs to be informed , so they can act according to your wishes.   Remember, you are the boss and you need to keep your assistant informed on an ongoing basis.    

A well informed and professional assistant will make you shine but the opposite will take you down.  

I know you felt stung, I bet the guy felt the same way when your assistant slammed the door on him.  Which he might never call you back again but sending another email in a few weeks would be a nice gesture.  
If he does wants to see you again, then you need to make it the best session you ever provided.
Let me tell you from my experience, make up sessions can be unbelievable.

I KNEW by reading the email correspondence that he was not happy, I could literally feel it and that is why the reply from her did not sit well with me. I mean, the golden rule in life is "ASK if you don't know the answer"...since I knew he probably wasn't happy with what was replied to him from her, I reached out, own'd  the miscommunication, verbally admitted that I did not tell her our potential gift for meeting again because I really did not think he would book me again that week, etc. I went by what he told me of attending events and meeting friends, I didn't think he would rebook!  I OWN'D it. I reached out and the apology came from a genuine place. So that is why I was a bit stunned by the email I got back. There are plenty of ladies AND gent's who are too proud and cannot apologize, I am the opposite. If I know that something is not sitting well with me, then it's time to own it and say sorry. However, when the other party can't accept the apology then I'm lost from there. I'll be taking this long holiday weekend to regroup, grow some thicker skin, fire the assistant and NOT look for another. and keep it moving. Thank you for your replies and private messages I appreciate the constructive criticism and words of encouragement via PM. In order to grow we all make mistakes but the important part is to learn from them.

"You lost out" because of an honest mistake sounds like a power trip. What a douche bag.

Be glad he passed.

End.

END OF MESSAGE

waving that same amoun

You showed great ethic. You did what was called service recovery for a mistake. You took ownership for the mistake as the boss. You apologized to the client and offered a solution, he then kicked dirt in your face. Fuuuuuck him and his three hours! Lol. Sorry.

-- Modified on 8/28/2014 7:04:24 PM

...we all know that and if he doesnt then fuck you. Especially if you sincerely apologized. His loss.

never enough here I have noticed myself. I wouldn't sweat it. Some of these gentlemen are insatiable. Your next appnt will be fabulous. Enjoy yourself Kori.

-- Modified on 8/28/2014 8:53:01 PM

It's a terrible way to respond to an apology. Probably written in anger, but if he really thinks you live or die by his 3hr donation, not a guy you want to spend too much time with.

We are providers so we are in a customer service based business. Sometimes a man will come along who really doesn't till with the punches and can be difficult. I mean his short statement might of caught you off guard but being nice isn't always going to win them over. Don't let get to you. This business really is a " you win some you lose some business."  

  Just adhere to your reputable way of doing business, being as nice as you can be and keep it moving. This is one reason I handle my own appointments because I don't want any kinds if confusion being brought about. Maybe next tine if you are in a similar situation, maybe have another email address that the client can email YOU and not your assistant? This wAy you will know what's going on and you won't have a repeat of this one.  

  Hang in there, Sidney Starr

 P.s. We can't please everyone. Be yourself and handle yourself in the best way possible and you will be fine.

Miscommunications and screw-ups occur..it's called the human condition!! And I'm sure that arrogant jerk-off client has made his share of mistakes!! Personally I'd boot his ass to the side of the road and tell him to take a hike!!

We are all people, that make mistakes and have lives. If he cant understand that then f*** him. You are a great person by the way you reacted and you should be treated as such. If someone can not understand that, then move on, there are plenty of fish in the sea.  

Ps i would tell him to stick his dinner where the sun don't shine. LOL

It's funny because I've found myself in this world of escorting world where I've developed skin as tough as an elephant. On the other hand, I could accidentally step on someone's foot while riding the subway, and their "watch where you're going!" comment could just ruin my afternoon. My heart generally sinks whenever someone else is upset by something I didn't mean to do. I sense you're the same way. A nice person never just never intends to anger/disappoint/hurt others. I don't think he would have sent you such a rude message if he weren't upset.

I think the best thing to do is write an email to explain the circumstances.Be honest, apologize for the mishap, and extend an olive branch. "Hey, I'm sorry we were unable to meet this time, mistakes happen. I think we got off on the wrong foot, but I'd love to make things right the next time you're in town."  

If he's a mature person who can accept that life happens to us all, he will see you next time. If he continues on the path of rudeness, it's truly not your loss.  We are all humans here. All you can do is your best. You can't change how others behave, but you can always be the bigger person. His response to you is the best indicator if he's even someone you want as a client. If he sees you in the future, situation rectified. If he is an a-hole about it, well, it was a blessing that you guys never connected. A good person can't really lose in the long run.

My two cents
SMILE!

This situation is actually going to reveal what kind of a man he really is!! If he's got any kind of style about him he would say something to the effect that he's going to be even MORE excited to see you and that he knows the wait will be worth it!! It's actually an opportunity for him to score real points with you---yet something tells me this guy's too much of a schmuck to think that way!!

Well said Keliani. Some girls here have too thick a skin, IMHO (yes I mean Courtney, and yes Courtney, I know I can just go fuck myself, LOL). Being compassionate is a positive attribute that Kori, Keliani and many others here have and it is something that should be admired. But you can only put yourself out there but so far. If no positive response is forthcoming, the loss was his, not yours.

You might also keep in mind that it may take time for the anger to subside. For example, I had arranged a morning appointment with the owner of a small UTR place and one of her girls I had seen a week earlier for a nice 3some for the following day. I called an hour before the appointment  to confirm, and the call went to voice mail. I sent multiple text messages and had repeat phone calls, all of which went unanswered until early evening. I had a Plan B, which turned out to be a disappointment, and when I finally did hear from her I was really too angry to listen to what she was telling me and blew her off. She sent me several text messages and when I finally got around to reading them a few days later, before deleting them, I saw that she had a multiple hour late night appointment with a customer she had seen before, but who this time gave her a very hard time, refused to pay, and gave her multiple problems and she didn't go to sleep until 6 am. It took about 2 weeks, and an agreement by her that should something like this happen again she had to text me before she went to sleep, but my anger eventually dissipated, and we are OK now. I knew from my past dealings with her that this wasn't some cavalier blow-off, and I was able to get rid of my anger. Maybe this will happen for you and he will want to see you again.

ya but it was Lobster!

Sometimes a nice slap on the hand makes someone realize they have crossed a  line. Feminine compassion is used by robbers, thieves, and rapists. It's a tactic to use to get over on women. To hurt and rob them.

Have you even thought maybe this guy hurt the provider's feelings? Obviously enough to come to the boards about it. Shame on him! A sign that someone cares is when another person can hurt their feelings.  

Being over compassionate is like laying down across a shallow puddle so golfers can use you instead of standing water to hit from. I'll save bowing down to the meanies and babies for people who invest in my daily life.  

Once you show you have compassion for people who are trying to get over on you, you get taken advantage of. Most of us can tell the difference from someone who makes an honest mistake vs someone who is cold. We mess up, but usually the ones who don't stand up for themselves on a regular basis when being even slightly bullied get bullied worse later.

Sorry, don't play on feminine compassion with me. I pamper, I am extremely affectionate, loving, and giving, but start crossing lines I do harden up until the guy backs off.  

Manipulation and power play is more damaging than you think. Messing with someone's head and who they are as a person is very intoxicating to them. It can eventually ruin them. And it always starts small, otherwise they would catch it right away. The most dangerous people are the ones who start hurting subtly. They know how to get in. This job can be potentially dangerous. Don't tell me to lighten up when someone tries to get over on a girl.  

Maybe he needs to grow some skin and take some dirt back.

Before you go saying I'm a man hater, no way José. Men are sexy as hell.

-- Modified on 9/1/2014 12:50:42 AM

For my .02 cents, I am going to agree with Courtney and most of the people here who say move on. The bottom line is that this is business. In a customer service industry you would like to be able to learn from mistakes and improve. If that means communication went awry, you learn and fix it.  

If you made a genuine attempt to apologize and his response was what you noted, then definitely move on. This is not a civilian relationship. The last thing you need is someone coming to you and holding it over your head for you to make it up to him. No matter how good your session was, it's not worth it. If he valued his time with you, he would find a way to apologize for his comments. Or better yet, not have said them at all!  

He sounds like he's trying to take advantage of your sweet nature.  By extending the olive branch to apologize you left it up to him. If he really truly had any compassion and valued your companionship, he would accept your apology and make the promise to communicate his timeframe and intent better and see you next time.  

You seem very sweet but don't be taken advantage of. Move on.

For all the Pm's and emails and posts....moving right along....hope he doesn't retaliate with a bad review....I have email proof that he did indeed have a good time, etc....(sigh) I suppose I will cross that bridge if it happens and go through TER