While on a trip to a location I will not mention I was asked the never ending question.." What is your race? Are you all white or mixed? You got black in you?

It made me mad, no, it made me hurt and furious.

why should the color of my skin have anything to do with my level of service or the kind of person I am?

I have sadly found throughout my years as a provider that most men( l will say hobbyist since thats the PC term) would rather see a fat, overweight, out of shape white girl over a black or mixed race girl overweight black girl simple because she is "dark"

And even sadder, we( women of mixed race or color) are critisized because we charge what a we do and are even told to lower our rates because we are not white. This is also a problem for older providers.

Older means more experience, therefore I would think someone older should demand a equal, if not higher fee. She is bringing lots of things to the table. But all I hear is, shes so old, shes too old to do this. Look at her wrinkles, she needs to quit. Dude, that woman has more experience then any 18 year old..

I have kept this to myself for a bit now, but now I can't.

I know each person has a right to see which ever race they so choose, but to degrade a black provider or suggest she isn't worth her fee because she is of color, even though she may be a far better provider then any white provider out there is wrong.

I have nothing against my pure white sisters. I too have white blood running through my veins, and I have made lots of great friends with many girls in this biz and they dont show me any hatred or dislike to me because of my mother is black.(R.I.P ) and my dads portuguese.

My beef is with the men that look down on black girls as inferior meanwhile white girl as the best thing since white bread ( no pun)and worth the fee they charge.

A providers rate isnt based on her skin color, or her body size , its based on the level of service they provide. If she is the best at her craft her price should reflect that.

The size or color of a provider isnt something a hobbyist should dictate as her fee.

Why on earth would a big white girl get more respect then a fuller figured mixed or black girl? hopefully not because you think less of a dark sista , or believe the myths about black girls.

Whats the difference other then racism and closed minds?

I am not saying you should try dark meat if you like it white, but keep your rude comments to yourself if a certain girl happens to not be your flavor.

We are all adults, and everyones taste are different. Lets embrace that and leave well enough alone.

NYVanessa
"lucky enough to have the best of both worlds"





-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:31:29 PM

You come off as the rascist with your comments.How can you say"I have sadly found throughout my years as a provider that most men( l will say hobbyist since thats the PC term) would rather see a fat, overweight, out of shape white girl over a black or mixed race girl overweight black girl simple because she is "dark". Then you say"And even sadder, we( women of mixed race or color) are critisized because we charge what a we do and are even told to lower our rates because we are not white." Do you know what those comments make you look like? Who has said this in the past? It seems you have a preconcieved notion to what hobbyists are thinking and you are WRONG. To make comments like the ones you made show us you feel you are inferior to white providers. You THINK this. It has never been said.

I am getting tired of the same three providers posting nonsense just to get their names and websites out there. There are 3 of you who constantly complain about nothing. Do you think clients want to spend time with providers who do this? We get this at home from our wives. A provider should have a positive attiude and be willing to show us a good time. You seem like you only want to complain and want us to act as your psychiatrist. Pay a doctor for their time if this is what you are looking for.



-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:44:11 PM

-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:47:03 PM

-- Modified on 1/15/2006 10:49:20 PM

No, I am trying to voice my experiences and express my concern.

If my posts upsets you, ignore them, or better yet ask the moderator to remove them.

Its quit obvious you dont want to know what this world is really about. or on how us girls are treated.

If real discussion isnt your thing ignore me..after all ignorance is bliss.

The reality of whats out there is too hard for you to face.

I am not trying to get my name out there. Its been there for years.

I am trying to show that this hobby isnt all ass kissing and cooing and lovey dovey.
Racism isnt  a joke. and calling me one is just another fine example about what I was trying to say previously.
But i guess I am the wrong person to say this. I am after all. I am not your classic cooing and ahh person who is afraid what I say will hurt me.


Our life is real. You are not ready to see the dirty side of this. you dont want to see how badly girls are treated behind the screens. You want sugar coated posts. you want lies..

It pains me to say this, but UG, the old UG, was a far better board then TER is.

My goddess, arent you human? dont you care about how your fellow man is treated? or maybe because we are just whores, it doesnt matter.

I will sleep tonight knowing I have a grip on reality, and I know both sides of this "hobby" therefore as they say, knowledge is power

NYVanessa
The realist, not the ass kisser


-- Modified on 1/15/2006 11:06:08 PM

Vanessa: Obviously racism is an issue everywhere in society. But did the person in question deride your race or simply ask you about it? Big difference.
  Then you write later: "You want sugar coated posts. you want lies..."
  No, not lies. But for my hard-earned money I'd like a respite from my own problems when I see a provider or pursue this hobby. You seem very angry, which is certainly your right. Perhaps you even have cause. But it's not much of a marketing tool in your line of work.

times have we heard you rant about being "fat, black, overweight" etc.??? The fact is that girls that look like Victoria's Secret models can usually command higher rates--(all else being equal). Good looking waitresses get bigger tips too. It is ironic that you bring this up on Martin Luther King day. Obviously there is nothing you can do about your ethnicity. You CAN however get a better attitude, and go on a diet. Maybe this will help your self esteem.

to want to know the ethnicity of a provider.  a lot of hobbyists look for ethnic providers. if you are not blonde and young and skinny (and that's most providers) then you have to accept you're going to be a bit of a niche provider with a smaller pool of clients and you may have to market yourself better to be as busy or get the same rates as cookie cutter providers.  but, it is do-able.  if a provider doesn't want to do it, she is choosing to settle for less.  

is that it is all red.  It doesn't care what your skin color is.
Throughout all history, people have found some way to differentiate between each other and them make a career out of hating people for that.  I  like to think that over time that is changing, but some days you read about riots someplace and then you feel like we haven't gotten anywhere in 5000 + years.
Can we make a start on this board?
If we're not here to listen to each other and offer help to each other then what is this for?
As for preferences of men (or women) for people of this or that color, height, weight, etc., that is up to each individual and is not subject to anyone's approval.

Actually, i've seen these things said on other msg boards. But, I don't take them to heart or believe them.  If anything my ethnicity helps me. There is no shortage of white or asian massage  girls in this city.

Anyhow, Vanessa not describing herself as black or latina on her web page suggests she might be the one who thinks being black or ethnic makes her worth less. Which is really unfortunate.  I think if she advertised as a black / latina, she would lose some clients looking for a european escort, but gain a lot of clients looking for her.

----Vanessa: Obviously racism is an issue everywhere in society. But did the person in question deride your race or simply ask you about it? Big difference.
 Then you write later: "You want sugar coated posts. you want lies..."
 No, not lies. But for my hard-earned money I'd like a respite from my own problems when I see a provider or pursue this hobby. You seem very angry, which is certainly your right. Perhaps you even have cause. But it's not much of a marketing tool in your line of work.-----

Westie, baby, I dont want sugar coated posted, nor do I advocate lies. and I am not anry. Why do men feel that a woman that speaks up about an issue is anger? That thought is sort of caveman dont you think?

I am not using this as a marketing tool. I am not a marketing all day all the time person.

Sometimes I like to step outside of the box and actually say what I feel and show you I am not just trying to make a buck with each post i make.
If you have ever followed me and my MO you would know I dont always post to make men hire me.

I have a voice and I have found a nice forum to voice it. And if it hurts my business so be it. This business isnt me. I make it what it is. I am so much more then a markting tool. I am a woan with thoughts ideas and love to challenge, and bring forth new ideas
Take me as I am or not at all.

Just because I have a big mouth, doesn't mean I am not a great provider!


oh yeah, and how you would classifiy a session that goes like this" Suck my cock you black whore. You are my slave, suck it now, take it youlow life piece of trash"

Sounds pretty mean spirited to me.



-- Modified on 1/16/2006 7:08:23 AM

Liya, I am listed as I am portuguese and british, those are nationalities, not races. I dont hide the fact my mommy is blck. The woman raised me and my 4 sisters and brothers. She struggled hard to provide for us when our father and hshe divorced. I love and admire her and can not turn my back on her. I am not going to use her as a way to get paid as a whore. Its a dis service to her memory.

The other day I had a huge fiht with my daughter because she insist shes white. Though her father is Irish and Italian, her mother ( me is black and white) I told her it hurts me that she doesnt acknowledge me or her grandmothers race.

Typical teen she said Whatever and stormed from the car.

Liya, you are not there with me when clients meet me and say so what are yu?

I proudly say I am the product of a white father and a black mother. My mother is British and my father is white portuguese.

So dont , please assume I dont take pride in my heritage.
Hell, I am listed on Eros in Ebony.
What woman afraid to admit her color would do such a thing?

how would mentioning you're black on your website be a disservice to your mother, when you list yourself as black on eros? what's the difference?

This is NOT a twelve-step program; this is a marketplace. The women have services to hire out, and the men come here with the aim of retaining somebody's services(Sure, there are those who post jokes, or photos, or cutesy observations, but its main reason is guys wanna nail somebody and gals wanna find someone willing to pay for play). Business is all about transactions and making money, and as such, some pretty harsh consequences result. Just look at the corporate world.

Vanessa writes: "oh yeah, and how you would classifiy a session that goes like this" Suck my cock you black whore. You are my slave, suck it now, take it you low life piece of trash"  Sounds pretty mean spirited to me."

Well, you didn't mention that in your original post. Obviously that is wrong. I agree with Santino, you seem to have hit a bad patch of luck with some clients. But consider what Liya is saying and perhaps that won't be an issue as often.

How old are you?   Welcome to the real world babe.  How can you not have figured out where your slot is in the caste system yet?  Wake up sweety pie.  Brad Pitt and Angelina Jolie are at the top of the food chain.  All of the rest of us fall somewhere in line behind them.  Ask yourself, "What is Brad's price?"  (Believe me, He has one).  Then compare your price to that astronomical figure.  That is where you fall in the food chain.  If you can't come to terms with that, then you should insulate yourself in a world of make-believe.  "Our World", as you call it is full of men.  Men operate differently than women.  It does not matter how valuable YOU think you are.  You are competing in a marketplace and race matters in that market.

Liya I think you have mis-reading my posts.please read again.

Its a diservice to my mother to not ackowledge myself as a black woman. You are reading only what you want to read.

Take a few seconds to read carefully. Please.
Thanks.

Liya, I am not going to continue to debate you not because I am left with nothing to say, but because I wont give anyone the satisfaction of seeing two positive providers go on like this. We are better then this.

I like you so far, never heard of you until now, but I like your spunk. but I wont allow the people that like to watch car crashes watch us or sit back with popcorn and cheer us on to fight. You and I are not like that. We are professionals. We dont need to belittle one another to prove anything.

Respectfully
NYV.

-- Modified on 1/16/2006 11:19:24 AM

LOL!!!

I don't think it's necessarily racism to acknowledge the simple fact that every individual hobbyist will prefer certain types of women over others.  It's a simple matter of taste.  Even those comments, which seem to disturb you so much, re the relative work of white providers versus non-white providers, unless clearly made with racist intent to hurt you, are just another expression of individual taste and preference, however much you disagree with them.  And who knows, the hobbyist making those statements might actually have had some negative experiences which   have prompted him to voice these opinions.

On a personal note, by very best AND very worst experiences have come at the hands of East-Asian providers.  Hard for me to make sweeping generalizations re them with that type of experience.  Likewise, depending upon where the hobbyist lives and/or grew up, he may not have had any dealings with non-white persons and his comments might simply be thought of as the result of a lack of knowledge and narrow life experiences.

I live and was raised in the NYC metro area, so I'm totally used to dealing with persons other than blond-haired, blue-eyed all-American types [in fact, this describes my least favorite type of provider].  My late wife was an a Chinese-American woman, and my longest relationship which did not result in marriage was with an African-American woman [26 months].

Please remember, for every hobbyist who vocally disfavors your characteristics -- mature, voluputous, mixed-ethnic ancestry -- there is a least one other who is drooling at the prospect of meeting a provider with just those charactristics.  Probably more than one, as these are non-mainstream preferences [at least by obvious societal judgements] and those holding them may feel it necessary to keep these opinions to themselves.  You probably have as many fans as detractors, probably more fans than detractors, but you just don't relaize it.

This is your work, and  work produces many, many problems every single day, especially those that involve friction between co-workers.  I [and you] can sulk permanently about this stuff, but I've found it's better to have a thick skin, a short memory, and [most of all] a sense of humor about these things.

For whatever it might be worth to you, I find your ehnic heritage to be a real turn-on [when I hobby, or even mingle socially, I always try to find a woman with an interesting multi-cultural background like yours] and you're very photogenic to boot, great looking hair and a killer rack.  As long as you're personable and  decent conversationalist, what more can a horny guy ask for?

Try to cheer up!  It's just another bad day at the office.  There will be better ones down the
road to make up for it.

Have A Great New Year!

I apologize for my rant.Hey I am a Leo, Its in my blood

I picked the wrong venue to voice my concerns.

TER is for finding no strings sex, not discussing race issues, or being attacked by people with fat jokes and black jokes.

Please accept my deepest apologies and I wish you all the best and happiest of new year!

Sincerly
NYVanessa



-- Modified on 1/16/2006 4:31:53 PM

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-- Modified on 1/16/2006 3:24:26 PM

Vanessa,

Please don't give the providers a free pass.  I recently went out with a well-reviewed provider whose first screening question to me was "Are you black?"  And this is not unusual for providers to take this line of investigation.  Maybe infrequent, but definitely not unusual.

So much for trying to be helpful. I should have known better.

must we endure"????  Give us a break.

"A providers rate isnt based on her skin color, or her body size , its based on the level of service they provide. If she is the best at her craft her price should reflect that. The size or color of a provider isnt something a hobbyist should dictate as her fee."

I agree with most of your argument except for the part I quoted.  

A provider's fee is only good as long as men are willing to pay it.  And if you think that the fee of some provider's isn't totally based on their physical appearance, then you are not as smart as I thought you were.  

In a perfect world, experience would be the only thing that matters.  But we live and play in reality.  And the reality is that many guys, like myself, would rather hit a beautiful young woman (regardless of color) than spend time with a mature and curvy woman who knows what she's doing.  It may not be right, but it's just the way it is.

i've been following your messages on this and other boards for some time now and frankly I think you need to find a new career.  All you do is complain about customers.  If they bother you so much, don't see them.  I wanted to see you a long time ago.  But reading your posts offered some insight to your personality and frankly, if I wanted to get with someone this opinionated, I'd just rather see the wife.

First of all if I find something funny I laugh at it. I was not criticizing you but if you want to know the truth it does get pretty silly with all the whining/complaining that you do. Your problem isn't that your black or white or fat. Your problem is that you have low self esteem and have to do some growing up and learn how to say "fuck it" when dealing with life's problems.

No your an ass Mr Info. If I find something funny I laugh at it and thats the bottom line. I don't kiss provider's (PC term, because they ARE just hookers, they just dont want to accept the truth) ass because I think they are a nice person. So in regards to your opinion you know what you can do with it. I will continue to laugh at anything I find funny and I don't care who it hurts because reality is just that reality and sometimes it hurts. Deal with it and move on!

All of this means nothing because in the end because My grave stone will say

" She was a beloved mother, daughter and friend,"  Not

"She was a beloved hooker that did as she was expected of her on a PMB"


Lovingly,
NYVanessa


-- Modified on 1/17/2006 4:54:57 PM

The same can be said for you.

You forgot to add whiner and complainer to that.