The prize:

Three (3) New York Confi girls out to dinner.

T H E N

One (1) NYConfi S U P E R S T A R

per HOUR!

Yes, Tag-Team, 3-in a row...


TO WIN:  

All you need to do is E N T E R

&

say something that is at least 1 / 2 (half) funny,

as a response to this thread.


THE CONTEST IS OVER AS SOON AS THIS POST HITS

PAGE TWO (2).

ALL HALF FUNNY ENTRIES WILL BE PUT INTO A "HAT"

AND A LUCKY WINNER WILL BE SELECTED!





To Qualify You must agree to immediatly review

each of the three (3) S U P E R S T A R S

individually. Three (3) reviews. Note: The purpose

of this CONTEST is to ENTERTAIN everyone

You must also agree to provide a first class hotel

room in NYC, we choose the girls, you treat the girls

to dinner at a proper restaurant, and accept your prize  

within 10 days of winning.




Good Luck!

Relax and smile, you say?  Well, I can guarantee I'll be smiling if i win this contest!!!  However, I don't know about being relaxed beforehand, though... I imagine I'd be pretty damn nervious. But afterwards, aaaah, there comes the relaxation.

dinner, drinks, and paramedics.... sounds like fun.

All entries please follow this string & format.

Thanks!

If having quotes around "HAT" means what it could mean, it'll be an interesting drawing.

Hmmm...

"TO WIN:  All you need to do is E N T E R "

Hmmm...it seems to me that I won't get to "enter" anything (or anyone) until AFTER I win...but who am I to argue. =)

so that everyone gets the idea...

Three in a row?  Could be trouble for the weaker ones out there.  Is there a rain check if you can only make it through 2?

I'll have to think about this one ok I'll enter.

Happy Hobbyist Enters Happy Hunting Ground

Tozer, lower Manhattan hobbyist, died today of acute happiness. I. Barry Em, head of the One Hang Low Funeral Parlor, said that although the family requested a closed casket, this would be impossible as they cannot close the lid. Nor, Mr. Em reported, can they remove the smile from Mr. Tozer's face. Representatives of the St. Vincent's Hospital Emergency Room said that his last words were, "Who says three on a match are bad luck?" In lieu of flowers, contributions should be sent to the American Red Cross or the Xavier Hollander Home for the Hopelessly Tumescent.

-- Modified on 2/4/2004 4:51:41 AM

-- Modified on 2/4/2004 4:58:32 AM

-- Modified on 2/4/2004 9:44:05 PM

Main Entry: tu·mes·cent
Pronunciation: -s&nt
Function: adjective
Etymology: Latin tumescent-, tumescens, present participle of tumescere to swell up, inchoative of tumEre to swell
Date: 1882
: somewhat swollen  tumescent tissue

Toz, this was very funny. I was laughing my a-- off.

LIguy

Who do I have to bribe to win this thing?

No really, I mean it!  

In 1981, I was staying on business at the Miami Fountainbleu hotel where I noticed a very attractive woman, about 35, well-dressed alone at the bar. I thought to myself that, though I was only 22 at the time and probably not in her league, what the hell lets go talk to her. When I said hello, I found that her English was limited and that Spanish was her main language. Fortunately, I am fluent in Spanish, having lived in Spain and Colombia. She explained to me that she represented a South American travel agency. We had a nice conversation about Colombia, little Havana, etc... I offered to take her out for dinner. After some initial reluctance, she offered to show me Little Havana a couple of days later and to pick me up at the hotel. We had a great time dining and dancing. Well, it was getting late and I asked her to take me back to the hotel. To my surprise, she spent the night. In the morning, I asked her out again. She was visibly uncomfortable by this suggestion. She then confessed to being a provider and said that she just wanted to have fun on her night off. She actually was booked during the rest of my stay. I thought this was funny; I was the straight-date of a provider. I had received a thorough education and, as a young man, went forward with an appreciation for older women. Of course, my appreciation for a friendly provicer should not be in doubt either.

Back to back to back, huh?  Good thing I saw all those ads for 'male solutions' during the Super Bowl...I only hope that I can throw the football through the tire three times in a row..well, I am younger than Mike Ditka!  Thanks for these contests..they are fun, and ad a lot of life to the board..

A regular guy gets shipwrecked on a desert island with supermodel Gizelle.  One day, after months of fucking beyond his wildest dreams, Gizelle notices that the guy seems depressed.  "What's the matter, honey?" she asks.  

"Look, Gizelle, would you do me a big favor?"

"Anything, honey."

"Would you dress up like a man for me?"

Gizelle eagerly agrees and then spends the rest of the day making herself up, putting up her hair, hiding her figure under concealing clothes, etc.  Finally, when she looks exactly like a man, she goes up to the guy.  He looks at her and gives her a wink and a nudge.  "Hey, buddy.  Guess what?  I'm fucking Gizelle."

(okay, it doesn't have much to do with New York Confidential but it IS in response to your posting and it IS half again as funny as anything else anybody has posted).

My doctor is gonna give me a funny look when I ask him for prescriptions for Viagra, Cialis, and Levitra.  

I just don't know how I'm going to explain having an erection that lasted a week.

This is my entry....the link is
R-Rated, so click it only if you are not
prudish (like anyone reading this is).....

A night with 3 hot NY CONFI "superstars":


Dinner at a "proper" NYC restaurant...$350.
One night at a NYC first class hotel...$225.
Chilled, imported champagne on ice...$150.
3 sexy, gorgeous babes in a row(courtesy of NY CONFI)
KEEPING a HARDON for three straight hours ...PRICELESS!

Cheers!

but what a way to go!


Cheers!

That was hysterical.

I just read the rules on how someone is going to be selected. Sounds fair enough, it helps to take the pressure off too.

-- Modified on 2/4/2004 2:54:34 PM

Well, that wasnt even meant to be my entry; this is:

You guys see the Cialis commercial during the superbowl?
"Erections lasting longer than four hours, though rare, require immediate medical attention."

Never thought I'd need a 4 hr erection, but for 3 girls in a row for 3 hrs.... anyone got some Cialis?

...of the three stages of manhood:

Tri-weekly,
Try Weekly, and
Try Weakly.

(Don't worry, these don't apply to me.  I guarantee two pops for each of the three NY Confi Superstars.)

I don't think 3 can technically be a tag-team
as sanctioned by IWWW (International Women-
Womb Wrestling) federation.  But I am
graciously willing to make an exception,
... and then another ... and still a Third.
Keep the contests cumming, J and NYConfi.

3 stunning NY Confi girls in 3 hours.... I may not win, but the fantasy of it all won't keep my as master of my domain for long!

II just have to share this on -- I can't take credit, bu I'm falling over laughing:

Top 20 Ways To Maintain A Healthy Level of Insanity

1. At lunch time, sit in your parked car with sunglasses on and point a hair dryer at passing cars. See if they slow down.

2. Page yourself over the intercom. Don't disguise your voice.

3. Every time someone asks you to do something, ask if they want fries with that.

4. Put your garbage can on your desk and label it "In."

5. Put decaf in the coffee maker for 3 weeks. Once everyone has gotten over their caffeine addictions, switch to Espresso.

6. In the memo field of all your checks, write "For sexual favors"

7. Finish all your sentences with "in accordance with the prophecy."

8. Don't use any punctuation

9. As often as possible, skip rather than walk.

10. Ask people what sex they are. Laugh hysterically after they answer.

11. Specify that your drive-through order is "To go."

12 . Sing along at the opera.

13. Go to a poetry recital and ask why the poems don't rhyme.

14. Put mosquito netting around your work area and play tropical sounds all day.

15. Five days in advance, tell your friends you can't attend their party because you're not in the mood.

16. Have your co-workers address you by your wrestling name -- Rock Hard.

17. When the money comes out the ATM, scream "I won!, I won!"

18. When leaving the zoo, start running towards theparking lot, yelling "run for your lives, they're loose!!"

19. Tell your children over dinner,"Due to the economy, we are goingt o have to let one of you go."

And the final way to keep a healthy level of insanity.......

20. Send this to someone to make them smile..Its called therapy...

Hi, Im Charlie and I think it is time to meet my Angels one on one, they've never seen me before but I know they are dying too

A blonde, a brunette and a redhead from NY CONFI are riding in an elevator from the 14th floor of the posh first class hotel to the lobby.They just had a splendid liasion with Dirk B. The redhead notices a spot on the elevator wall and says, "That looks like a cum stain." The brunette leans over and smells the stain. "Smells like a cum stain," she says. The blonde leans over and tastes the spot, then says, "Well, it's certainly not Dirk's."

Tally-Ho!

To enter to enter to enter....

Well I wish that I was a cat for the night (most women just love their cats) this way I would have 9 lives

The first life would be lost pondering if I could win.. Oh God let me win, it is worth one life.

The second life would be lost worrying that I have won and where is the little blue pills and how fast can I get them...

The Third, Fourth and Fifth life would sail away during dinner just thinking about desert...

Lives six, seven, and eight would be lost during the amazing back to front to back to... possibilities are endless here , three hours of pure bliss...

Life nine would lost writing the reviews and saying I can't believe I did, did, did the whole thing...

And then I could honestly say I died a very happy man/cat...

Fun inside Amy $750; fun inside Kallie $800, fun inside Summer $850; fun inside all three - bankrupt but priceless

NY Confidential has offered us the ultimate treat!


A contest to raise the temperature, and heat,


With three ladies at dinner,


I hope I'll be the winner..


And have CPR after the tag-team feast.


Panther

PS: Sorry, the 'Lady from Nantucket' is so done.

In a prior review I saw 2 girls from NY CONF. and had the best time of my entire life, and I said " HOW CAN I  EVER MAKE LOVE TO MY WIFE AGAIN AFTER THIS EXPERIENCE ?" know if I win 3 girls, I will have to go to the cleanners from the session, she will take me for everthing $ I have for never touching her again.

1-way, I am not as lucky as you, but here goes.

3 guys are standing in front of the gates of heaven, St. Peter's runs out and starts to say: "Wait, you can't come in."
The 3 guys reply:"Why not?"
St. Peter's says that heaven is completely full and only one of the 3 will get in.
The 3 guys reply:"You have to be shitting me, heaven is full, what the hell is going to happen to the 2 that can't get in".
St. Peter says:"Exactly, your going back to hell".
The guys start to look at each other with confusion and says, "what do we have to do to get in"?
St. Peter starts to think, after a pause, he says ; "I have an idea, tell me how you got to the gates of heaven, and the one with the best story, wins".
St. Peter's points to the 1st guy.
Well, St. Peter, You are not going to believe this, but, I am actually a newlywed. I just married the girl of my dreams and we just moved into this beautiful highrise apt. on the 40th floor. You see, both my wife and I are fitness freaks, and our Bowmaster workout stations just came in. We decided to use the units in our balcony during a beautiful sunrise. St. Peter and the other 2 guys are all intrigued. A pause, as the story continues, then suddenly , there was a malfunction on my unit and I am thrown over the balcony. However, I was lucky and was hanging on the ledge on the 39th floor. Then some lunatic guy starts to scream and chant that he was going to kill me because I was banging his wife. Now, all I wanted to do was to tell him that I have no idea what he was talking about, but, he was too angry to hear what I was saying. All of a sudden he started to whack me and started to hit my fingers that were clinging on the ledge with the heel of his shoes. I finally could not take the pain and my fingers sprung loose. As I was falling, my life passed right by. I kept on praying to god, and to let me live. God must have heard , because I landed on the branches of a giant oak tree. I pissed on my shorts and as I looked at the skies to thank god, I suddenly saw a giant white box get bigger, and bigger. It was a refrigerator. Since, I am here , it seemed that the white box crushed and killed me.
St. Peter said, "damn, that was a tough way to go".

It was the 2nd guys turn. Well, St. Peter, I was also married but I was so unhappy, you see,I loved my wife dearly, however, I was a firm believer that my wife was having an affair. I decided to catch my wife one sunny morning, by leaving early and coming back an hour later. An hour went by and I sneaked back in. I suspected that a man was in my house. How , did you know, everyone asked?
You know, when a man is in your house, I could actually smell him. After, all, my wife just came out of the shower, and when I left for work, she had gotten up , took a shower, and made me breakfast. Why would she be in the shower again? Obviously, to wash of the sweat and cum of herself. I looked everywhere, but just could not find him.I looked everywhere. My wife started to scream and cry that I was crazy, and she did nothing wrong. All of a sudden, I notice a guy leaning out of my balcony. I approach him, and started to scream at him, I wanted to kill him. I remember him mumbling something, but due to my anger, I could not make out the words.I took off one of my shoes, I started whacking at the guy with the heal of my shoes. I guess, I finally caused enough pain, that he finally lost his grip and fell 39th stories high. I started to curse at him to die, but he didn't. He landed on the tree. Now, I was pissed again, I remembered that I had a refrigerator that had wheels on the bottom, I decided to unplug it and push it over the balcony. Yes, it killed the motherf....
I was so depressed, that my life was over, I decided to kill the bitch, and then turned the gun on myself. That is why I am here.
St. Peter was astonished with their stories, and thought to himself who he was going to choose.
How about the 3rd guy? The 3rd guy turned red and was silent.
Finally, he opened his mouth and said: "St. Peter, I was the guy in the refrigerator.

Haven't been to the board in a while, and I saw this and had to post. Just a little evening entertainment...

While on his way to an excavation site in the desert, an archaeologist came upon a man lying in the sand, his penis pointed straight up at the sun. "What are you doing?" he asked.

"I'm checking the time," the man replied.

The visitor scratched his head and walked on.  When he returned a couple of hours later, the man was still lying on the ground, but this time he was furiously masturbating.  "Now what are you doing?" the archaeologist asked, a little surprised.

"Winding my watch."

Happy Friday!!!

how could i not enter this.

a polarbear walks into a bar.. he says to the bartender, "give me a bud.....................light" the bartender says "sure but whats with the big pause?
 polar bear says "i dunno ive had 'em all my life"

Three women in one night?  But I'm supposed to stay home and do laundry.

Tough choice.

I'm not feeling funny today but once with the women, I gaurantee I'll have them giggling.

The funny part would be looking at me after spending three hours with three incredibly beautiful women.

It reminds me of the Rodney Dangerfield line, "With a body like mine, you could donate it to...science fiction."

Obviously, the reputation of the NYConfi girls is impeccable.  I'd be crazy not to enter the contest.  3 in 3 hours might be a little ambitious for me, but count me in anyway.


What's the definition of making love?
That's what a woman is doing while a guy is f-cking her.

My post was never approved

Probaly too late - I guess that would mean that this is the opposit of pre-mature ejaculation.  Although what is truly mature about ejaculation in teh first place? Don't we all start while we are immature?  But if I win, I will not inlfate the national debt, send in troops without an exit plan or give only hand outs to supporters. I will stay the course with all my interns and share with them a thousand points of light. Vote yes in 2004! God Bless America.

now i forgot it
Can i get a sympathy entry