I've had some bad experiences recently in getting rejected because of my skin color which I try not to take personally since everyone is entitled to their own preference. But at the same time hasn't helped me nor has it helped build references either. But I wanted to know if anyone had any suggestions as far as what providers would see a black guy. I'm looking for women that are slim or a have a little baby fat on them. Any race is fine but 40 is my limit as far as age goes. Any suggestions?

I'm not really inclined to believe you have this problem due to your alias. However, your post is very negative and you're probably approaching providers with the same negative attitude. Stop harping on race! You're making a big deal of it and probably bringing on most of the problem. Girls might be simply using it as an "excuse" to reject you to avoid telling you the real reason. I certainly hope your emails to providers aren't written in the same tone as your post. You're possibly getting rejected because you're coming across as a WHINER!!

Look, try for a little empathy with this fellow.  Please?

He's striking out with a fistful of Benjamins.  It' like losing a rigged game, fer gosh sakes.  How do you think that makes him feel?  How would it make any hobbyist feel?

I don't know this fellow but have no reason to doubt his sincerity.  We've had a similar thread, i think on the national board, within the last week.  Maybe, at worst, this fellow's apparent lack of confidence is perceived as unattractive by the providers he contacts, who may assume that he's going to be a picky, finicky and difficult client.  Maybe, against his best efforts, he's creating a self-fulfilling prphency.  This is an odd human endeavor, to be sure.

I hope this gent will understand your advice in the spirit in which it was offered.

Your pics on your website are awesome, BTW.

He ask under alias for a reason. Hell it happens to the best of us and we don't whine. So get off your high horse and get a grip please.

BTW; your attitude sucks. Main reason alot of guy won't see you. Just some FYI.

Whiner!? Due to my alias!? Reese, what the hell are you talking about!!? Pfffft. Listen up sweetie, maybe if you weren't reading my question backwards while doing a handstand you'd see that I meant that question with all sincerity. I won't get into specifics as to why my recent experiences made me ask this question because I'm not taking them personally but I definitely do not have this bullsh*t "negative attitude" you placed over my head. Unlike you, I'm completely aware of the fact that this is the real world and not every provider caters to every race. All I asked was a simple question hoping for a simple answer. White men may want to see you, but that doesn't mean every white provider would like to see a black guy, ok? Wake Up. So ReeseRivera, if you don't have a simple answer for me, then simply skip my question and save your dumbass comments and your attitude for some other sucker, ya dig?

my only requirement is a good attitude and expectation to have a very positive and hot time with me...oh, and letting me orgasm is always a plus too.

WOW..I don't think he sounded like he was whining at all! Just frustrated that this is happening..which it TOTALLY does! A lot of providers won't see black men for a myriad of reasons, the least of which being the stereotype of a large penis, which might hurt after a while. Also....and I will qualify that this is a STEREOTYPE, but it's more common with black men to ask for greek, to like things rougher, freakier, more aggressive, more masogynistic and all in all less fun for the provider UNLESS that is her thing. Not ALL black men are like this...but it is common and gives one pause when considering whether or not to see someone. Also, there can be a personal hygene issue which of course can be across the board with any man, but it seems more prevalent with black men.

This poor guy, who seems endearing to me, just seems to be bearing the brunt of what has happened before him. I feel bad for him because he seems nice to me....I hope he finds a special lady!

Geesh Reese, give the guy a break.  

I wouldn't classify his post as whinny but a post from someone searching for a recommendation. Isn't that the concept behind TER?

I guess the same may go for guys that do not see Ebony Companions because of the "attitude" as I must say reeked in your post.

We all have our preferences and level of comfortability-something of which should be respected.

My.02

Ciao Ciao

Look for some latina providers. I'm sure they would love to show you a nice time while in the city. And I'm sure that there is less of a chance you will run into similar troubles with latin ladies. I do believe you are honest when you say you have had rejection in the past. There are providers of that tend not to entertain men of certain races not only african american. Nothing that can be done about that cause it's their preference. Providers have their preferences like we have ours as clients.

Glad you're back!

Your a racist with age.  Whine about color and then complain about age.  You sound like a client no woman would enjoy being with.  It would be pure work on her part.  No wonder your not a happy person.

Maybe your balls smelled and she wrote a review about you?  Some guys, (any color) fail to take the washcloth and bring it around and clean THERE too.
Just a thought....

i can't believe the stuff i am reading

R u kidding me? How can someone so beautiful on the outside be so ugly on the inside."stop harping about race" "I don't believe you have this problem" What planet are you from.  The guy comes to board for help and you attack him and call him "negative and a"whiner" WTF ....you really have lost it.  His dilemma is shared by many including myself. I can provide 20+ provider references with a simple the click of a mouse.

Yet..... I have on more than one occasion been turned away at the door of a provider. You cant even begin to imagine how insulting  and painful it is to be turned away at the last moment simply due to the color of your skin. Imagine spending an hour at the barber shop,being freshly shaved ,showered and manicured ....driving 45 minutes in your 85k new Jaguar, dressed  head to toe in Hugo Boss and Prada,wearing a watch that cost more than  some people make in a year, looking like the cover of GQ magazine,after booking a 2 hr appointment at ($800 standing at the door being told that the provider does not see BLACKS.


Reese, I am really disappointed in  you.......... My sista you need to step back sit down and  take a really good look at yourself.

Cause  INMHO your post was  foul....

Chris aka Hawk

This guy post a legitimate complaint and you knock it down to him not washing his balls??

Instead of bashing his hygiene, give him some leads on girls that will see clean, respectful men regardless of their race.

this gal loves black guys [email protected]

Black clients not a problem. If you can get over your age limit (40), give me a call.

Some of us crave black cock...but you are MORE AGEIST than most racists.

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 10:08:43 AM

Hey now... everyone take a breath here. I sense that this gentlemen is tad sensitive about this subject due to his past experiences. I myself am from mixed parents; Panamanian Father, Afro-American Mother. I've learned to not get my hopes up to high when dealing with most providers. I tend to look at ones that state open-minded on their ads. This is normally a great barometer in narrowing down the field. There are some Excellent providers who carter to all types of gentlemen. And I do mean GENTLEMEN. I always say, if your looking for a certain type of provider and if your lucky enough to find what your looking for, then you probably going to want her to remember you for your good points. i.e. fresh smelling & clean equipment, nice tipper and good wood...lol. Finding a good provider is as difficult as finding a good dating partner. Its really hit or miss except with one exception, the Provider's going to make you a lot lighter in the pocket and in the package by evenings end. My five  favorite providers have been:

Kacey Cummings,  Laura De Leon, Amanda from Afrodite , Taylor and Morgan the (2) girls from Pittsburgh at GFETaylor.com.

So don't be discouraged my friend, they are out there. Peace.

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 2:47:15 PM

I can't find where she knocked him for not washing his balls? In fact I don't find any knock. I guess you just want to jump on the politically correct bandwagon.

Oh puleeeezze, give us a break on the self aggrandizement.

Dude, I'm not jumping on any bandwagon, just responding to sketchpad's idiotic comment.

Read the thread next time before you jump to conclusions...

"We all have our preferences and level of comfortability-something of which should be respected." When it comes down to it both clients and providers have the very right to choose who they see.

 Finally, someone who makes sense!!! Thank you for telling it as it is and not being afraid of being NOT politically correct.

I cannot possibly believe that 2 different people would be using the SAME handle...gz815. That is too coincidental. Anyway, I went around and around with this gent and he ended up being NCNS. So, GZ815, if by a strange twist of fate, you have just picked the same handle as the dude that wasted my time, then I apologize. His name was Garnett and I believe 815 was his area code.

P.S. Vodkak, I love you. Call me anytime!
P.S. Christophtrac...you have a PM
P.S. Hi Mikithemilf

  You are a breath of fresh air!!!

The gent who contacted me with this handle was worried that I might have "wrinkles" because he couldn't see my face in the photo!! He asked me to email my pictures and I refused. He made the appointment anyway and failed to show.

Again, if two people are using this handle and they are both worried about "age" then I apologize.

P.S. Thanks sketchpad...call me
P.S. Thanks Little-Bit-GFE for thanking sketchpad
P.S. Thanks Sophmoric Humorist...you are the voice of reason

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 5:29:50 PM

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 5:37:31 PM

TY, RR, for the kind word.

But generally I like to be a voice of unreason.

When I lose 75 pounds i definitely plan to make your acquaintance.



-- Modified on 6/15/2007 6:12:33 PM

Why so hostile Reese. The man asked a simple, totally fair question. The answer is either "here's a couple that don't mind, try them" or the answer is "can't be of any assistance, keep looking". That's it. Why attack the man. It does happen you know. Maybe his choice in ladies just don't like black men or it could be something else and it just seems to him that way. Anyway, it does happen and the guy is just reaching out for assistance. Either you can help him or you can't but don't shoot the man. Take it easy, there are worst things.

Thank you Flora. That's all that counts. Man, I don't why they are jumping all over the guy. It's a simple can you help question. Answer is yes i can or no i can't.

Thank you Chris. I don't know why the hell they are jumping all over the guy. Either help the guy or keep it moving. Even if he was full of crap, he only asked for reasonable assistance.

People, it's a fair question. Even if the man is full of crap, he only ask if anyone knew of providers who don't mind seeing black gents. Where's the harm? Either you can help the man or you can't. He obviously has a bad hit or miss ratio and feels he's a decent enough person so what else could it be. Even if he's wrong about the black thing, ease up on the man. After all the question only requires, "yes, i know a couple" or "no i don't". No need to execute the guy. Ease up people, there have been things said on this board that are 4 times worse.

We've gone around in several circles, but we're right back where we started.  And no closer to providing practical assistance to gz815.

The original point -- gz815's difficulty/inability to find a provider willing to see African-American clients is no closer to being resolved.  I do feel for the man, he seems like a decent fellow from his post, and his original post was simply to state his problem/question and to seek advice here.  As someone points out, one of the core reasons TER exists.  Much of the harsh tone directed at him could have been dispensed with.

We've established that providers, like hobbyists, have individual preferences, likes and dislikes, comfort levels, etc...  gz815 is hurt because, some providers shun him as an african-american.  But he then indicates a preference for ladies of no more than 40 years old.

Some folks call him on this, finding this to be a glaring inconsistency.  While perhaps inconsistent, i don't feel this is as damning as some others do.  Let's face it -- no knock at all on the many great mature ladies out there [I'm in my early 50s, and feel absolutely too wierd seeing any provider younger than her early 30s] this tends to be a young woman's game, and for many complex reasons, only some being related to the fantasy aspects lived out via the hobby, men perfer younger women to older women.  it might be some manifestation of evolutionary genetics, wherein a younger woman is presumed to be more likely to be impregnated by a male and thus bear his children, and  carry his genetic matter, into a future generastion.  But that's taking us far afield.

We've also touched several nerves, as always happens whenever the question of race is broached for any reason.

RR's initail response did seem more harsh, or less diplomatic than it could have been.  The fellow did not strike me as a whiner, as many have pointed out.  Just an annoyed guy with a beef and a question.  But I think RR's central point was missed -- that gz815 assumes the problem is his racial identity, when in fact it may not be.  Or at least not to the extent that he believes it to be.  Well, we'll never know for sure.

Best of luck to gz815 in his quest.  You will have to work harder than other hobbyists to find the right providers,and it's more unfairness in an unfair world, but when you do find her, the rewards will seem all the more sweet and well-deserved.  best wishes to you in your search.  

A suggestion: Bacca123 is a respected and well-established presence on this board.  Perhaps a PM to him to pick his brain might be in order?  He always strikes me as someone wired really deep into the NYC metro area hobby world, and also strikes me as a helpful man willing to share what he knows.

Well, best to all, until the next time when this topic comes up again, as it inevitably will.

RR gets great reviews and her physical appeal is beyond any question.

From the reviews, i take it that her screening process is lengthly and involved. Nothing wrong with that, as she's got a right to do what she feels necessary to create a level of safety and comfort before meeting any new clients.

In at least one review, the reviewer mentioned that RR is not worried whether a client screens in or not.  Perhaps this lack of anxiety or calmness is mistaken for attitude or indifference?  Having never met her, nor anyone who has met her, I only wonder.

-- Modified on 6/15/2007 10:16:36 PM

Some of your points are IMHO are slightly off. I understand your desire to be diplomatic but RR was DEAD WRONG.  As a black woman she should have been much more sympathetic to his post.
1. the post was not directed at her there was no mention of her and her attack was unjustified.
2. " But I think RR's central point was missed -- that gz815 assumes the problem is his racial identity, when in fact it may not be.  Or at least not to the extent that he believes it to be.  Well, we'll never know for sure."

 As a black man who has been pretty active in this hobby. We know when we are being sent away from an appointment simply because of skin color.
(sometimes it is as simple as the provider hiding behind the door and stating"I am sorry I didn't know you were black"

3. How did his preference for a woman under 40 become a problem?How the hell is that inconstant? I am 38 years young and I don't want pay to see women under 35. I like them under 30 lol... The man asked for suggestions ....he doesn't have the right to ask for what he likes? Would there have been a problem if he said he wanted to see a blond?

Some of your points are IMHO are slightly off. I understand your desire to be diplomatic but RR was DEAD WRONG.
1. the post was not directed at her there was no mention of her and her attack was unjustified.
2. " But I think RR's central point was missed -- that gz815 assumes the problem is his racial identity, when in fact it may not be.  Or at least not to the extent that he believes it to be.  Well, we'll never know for sure."

 As a black man who has been pretty active in this hobby. We know when we are being sent away from an appointment simply because of skin color.
(sometimes it is as simple as the provider hiding behind the door and stating"I am sorry I didn't know you were black"

3. How did his preference for a woman under 40 become a problem?How the hell is that inconstant? I am 38 years young and I don't want pay to see women under 35. I like them under 30 lol... The man asked for suggestions ....he doesn't have the right to ask for what he likes? Would there have been a problem if he said he wanted to see a blond?


I am so tired of people hiding behind the"not politically correct"shield as a cover for racism.


Sophmoric Humorist, I have read your posts  and I find your witting enlightening and entertaining keep up the good posts

Christoph aka Hawk

TY for the kind words.

It is odd, but my initial response to RR was meant critically.  Hence, the psuedo-intellectual Shakespeare reference to "The Merchant of Venice" - "the quality of mercy is not strained..."  I did try to be as tactful, given the touchniness of everyone when anything involving race comes into play.  And I did think RR was more harsh than necessary.

I do not think that his preference for under 40 providers is an important issue, but others did, and i sought merely to comment upon it.

I think what makes this all the more hurtful is that this fellow is being rejected twice over -- the most intimate and personal human conduct is being commoticized and subject to the impersonal {HA} operations of the marketplace, but still he has to contend with rejection based on his skin color.  Even with the fistful of Benjamins this poor fellow ain't making the grade, and never will, in the eyes of some.  No doubt  prejudice is being hidden behind the euphemism of "preference."

I'm the most vanilla white guy you will ever meet, but as a human being, let alone as a man, I do feel for gz815, and  for you, and anyone else similarly situated.  I empathise indeed.  My situation is no way as severe, but I cut a comically unprepossessing figure.  No one ever meets me and says "Wow, Sophmoric Humorist, he's some great guy."  I do indeed understand the hurt this fellow must feel when this happens.  I've never been turned away by a provider, but I have often seen the momentary grimmace and flash of disappointment flash across many eautiful faces when they first lay eyes upon me.

I hope you will give him a PM to buck up his spirits and perhaps share some info with him.  Likewise, if he sees my  earlier post, I hope he takes my suggestion and drops a PM too Bacca123.


And, like most things, ther's a backstory to which we are not privvy - RR may have had an unhappy experience with this fellow, and has some knowledge of him beyond his initial post. Which explains her post going beyond the scope of gz815's initial post. But, that's for gz815 and RR to work out.  I suggest that, as far as that is concerned, we both retire to the sidelines and stay out of the line of fire.


PS.  i'm curious, and I hope this gets a thread, even if I start it myself, but how do African-American providers feel about men who refuse to see them?  I have never knowingly engaged the services of an African-American provider [but I have seen 2 providers who were African-american while all the while claiming to be Asian, and one black brazilian provider], but my longest civvie realtionship which did not result in marriage was with an African-American woman, a coworker [that's always a big mistake], and it was a very, very interesting 26 months.

Again, Ty and cheers to you.

I've been in this hobby for 9 years before relocating from the South to NYC. When I arrived, Christophtrac was to write my first TER review (I was visiting Philly). We both know what happened with that. I still have the emails.

Question: Is this a case of a AA hobbyist being rejected by a AA provider? Probably not, but if so, I stand corrected. He enters the hobby and makes dates with nothing but non-AA providers and then is shocked when he faces rejection. He always referred to me on the phone as Puerto Rican. Did you know my mom is puerto rican? Anyway, I agree to see him and get NCNS on 3 hour date. Christophtrac, I'm trying to keep from publicly saying how I'm treated by AA hobbyist!!

Bottom line: We needed the National Guard to cross the school yard in Arkansas at one time. So, why would you think it's any easier to "integrate" the hobby? Integration is hard work so my advice to GZ815 would be to keep trying. But show up next time so someone will give you a reference.

Have you heard of reverse discrimination? Many AA hobbyist will not see AA providers. Then, after he has been rejected by the rest and I agree to see him, he treats me like dirt with NCNS. Defend a hobbyist who deserves to be defended. Everyone is not Equal Opportunity like you Christophtrac.

I'm a female hobbyist who dates girls and pays cash so I know REJECTION. Take a look at the women for women category on Eros and see it's rather empty as compared to the other categories.



-- Modified on 6/16/2007 9:29:33 AM

-- Modified on 6/16/2007 10:05:10 AM

This thread becomes more interesting with each new post.

You have a backstory with both gz815 nad Christophtrac.  Both of whom treated you badly?

I'm sorry for the questionable treatment you've recieved.  But, like the never ending question of penis size and how much fantasy should i believe, the ethnic discrimination/preference question in the hobby seems never to go away.

I'v started a post on the National Board asking AA providers how they feel about this.  so far the response has been underwhelming.  I guess it's the usual slow weekend situation?

Cheers and best to you.

Patrick Nagle in a previous post I invited you to call me. Yes, you're exactly correct. It's true, I will let the date go without much effort in trying to "make it happen". I turn down far more dates than I accept. I have a fetish that requires me to believe that the guy really adores me before I can "perform". So, if the guy is difficult, I lose my erection. I cannot just do it for the money. So if they don't try, I don't try.

I've never met LNQR and had never spoken to him until after he made that post.

-- Modified on 6/16/2007 9:50:08 AM

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING WRONG WITH THAT, IMHO.  I think the priority for every provider is that she establish a level of comfort and safety within which she can operate and provide a great experience for the hobbyist, and for herself as well, if that's in the cards.

I ask only because elsewhere in this thread you are criticized/attacked as having not the best attitude.  My point, if it's not clear, is that your commonsensical concern for your welfare might be mistaken by others as something less understanable and acceptable -- "attitude" I think it was Christoptrac who made mention of it?

TY  I will call you, eventually.  From your pics and your posts you seem to be an apt example of theold adage "a sound mind in a sound body."

Ladies aren't in the business to lose $$$ and have big holes left in their schedules due to NCNS

Wow... I didn't know this would generate such a response. All I asked was a simple question and I got a tounge lashing because of a case of mistaken identity (which I still can't understand) and accused of being racist when it comes to age!!!???

First off RR, I don't live in the 815 area code. That's why I'm asking about the NYC/LI area. The 815 in me alias is for my birthday. I've never met you or tried to contact you.... as a matter of fact, I haven't gotten anywhere with any provider because of rejection issues (obviously since I'm asking for some suggestions). Lashing out before you even have your facts straight about who your talking to? ...... I don't get it. I'm sure you may not agree, but to me you diminished a bit of your credibility some people who read any part of this post.

Sketchpad, you wrote comments about me being racist with age!? Yes, 40 is my age limit... big deal? Please don't take offense to that because I can get over that limit if I was shown a good time, but this is my inital preference until then. If you think about it, "Racist with age" doesn't even make sense! I also said that I'm looking for women that are slim or have a little baby fat. Am I a "racist to weight" because I don't prefer heavy women, too? But no one made reference to that comment, right?  

Thanks for all the positive responses that I've received from providers and reviewers (there were too many to name but you know who you are). I really appreciated it. To those with negative comments, I wish you would have just simply told me that you can't help me and kept it moving because a good 30%-40% of the responses were unnecessary. Seriously.

Yes our friend just has to keep on looking. I know his pain. I've been turned away because of my color and when I set up the appointments I told them that I was black. I hurt when I showed up at the door I was turned away. One of the providers said that she felt that I was going to hurt her. She obiviously didnt check my references because if she did she would have felt that way. I have no problems with providers that dont want to see men of color, it's their right but you should say it up front and don't mislead the  guy who took time out to come over. It wastes my time as well as yours.

 Happy hobbying
 

I wrote a reply before this one but just to clear the air, ReeseRivera, who you had the bad experience with was not me. I repeat NOT ME. I understand that there's no way I can really prove that to you from these posts but this is a TRUE case of mistaken identity. I literally have gotten 3 times in a row ..... probably by "non AA providers" like you state in your post reply (which makes more sense to me) so I haven't even had a chance to give a review for any provider at all. Trust me when I say I'll be happy when I don't have to pay $20 a month anymore when I give a review! But again, you have me mistaken because I really think that TER wouldn't let 2 reviewers have the same alias like that.

fist of all..  the backstory is simple I was interested in seeing RR when she first toured Philly. I like many seasoned hobbyist passed  on her because she had 0 reviews. End of story ...there were no hard feelings and she was not treated badly. .  Truth is  many hobbyist thought she might be LE, because her pics were so beautifull and at the time she was claiming to have toured for 90days in NY and DC and had 0 reviews to prove it. http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=22996&boardID=28&page=

I don't know what NCNS means but it sounds like you know who the guy is. All I was saying was even if this guy is full of crap, he just asked a legitimate question. No harm in that.

Well, whatever yey happens and whatever has happened, good luck to you in your search for the right provider.  When you find her, hope it's a 10/10.

Asd as some have learned, there can sometimes be an excess of candor, even anonymously under a username.

I keep excellent records and I have an NCNS (No Show No Call) client using your same handle. So, it doesn't matter what it stands for. The handle is the exact same. You could have used your TER handle but you didn't and now you can't prove your identity. Alias' tend to imply someone is trying to hide something or fly under the radar for some reason. Bottom line: It creates a question mark!!