Gift card is a major warning sign of a scam. It is quite easy to ferret out the gift card scammers with a bit of common sense and research. Your situation seems unique. Not sure I would call what happened to you a scam - I read your entire thread. My experience is that even the most highly rated providers are somewhat jaded. Can you blame them with what they deal with. I had one provider who I was trying to book an appointment who became openly hostile in text messages when I asked the day before to change my time to an earlier appt. I almost cancelled but she was highly reviewed. She accommodated my request - and she was heavenly, kind, accommodating and it was a great experience. Seen her several times since. I chalked it up to her having to deal with too many last minute request and I caught her at a bad time. I do not judge these ladies as I go though the screening and booking process. That part is strictly business.
Something tells me if you and Scarlett worked out a meeting you would have been pleased with her services.-- Modified on 6/10/2022 1:46:16 PM
Hello I am fairly new on here but I've at least gotten enough advice to know that a lot of companions require deposits. I really do try to be reasonable and understanding in terms of booking and screening, but there is not point in booking anything in terms of incalls when I can't cover a hotel room and even if I had a nice apartment worth hosting in, I would still prefer hotel rooms for incalls. After a few last-minute cancellations from ppl unwilling to respect a cancellation fee I simply refuse to put out-of-pocket money into booking rooms. I usually try to get advice from other companions before trying to enforce new booking requirements, and have been told they almost always require a deposit . I am at a loss when I get nothing but emails for incalls yet not one potential client can send me 200 for a deposit? It's not even an extra cost it's considered part of the donation and the remainder is due at the meet.
A few questions for anyone with more experience than me with these things:
If you are to pay a deposit before the meet, what are your preferred methods? Which apps or sites for digital exchanges make you feel safest?
For people who are wary about paying deposits before a meet, can you please list any specific reasons why?
Are there certain factors you look at in a companion before deciding to send in a deposit?
Companions, what is your approach to deposits? For those successful in finding clients who can send them in, can you please tell me a bit about yourself- such as what sites you advertise on, do you have your own sites, what are your views on incalls vs outcalls...anything you feel can contribute to the topic.
A bit of background about me: I am an XXX perfomer/companion, as of now I currently only advertise on Tryst, Slixa, and here. I am trying to move more towards P411 just keep procrastinating on finishing my account...I know from some references that it's easier to find more consistent clients there...Was considering Eros but have heard a lot of negative things about it recently. I have been both a sugar baby and escort before so I have some experience in both meets and long-term arrangements but definitely have been focusing more on adult entertainment these past few months. I'm trying to get back to seeing consistent clients but trying to get a deposit has been like pulling teeth...
There's a loooooong history of providers asking for deposits, getting them and then ghosting the client, who then has no recourse to get his money back. It is this kind of abuse that has made deposits a dirty word for many of us.
Ditto what inicky says. I don't know any male on this site who has not been shafted by someone who demanded a deposit and then disappeared. When I first started, I fell for it more than once and resolved not to fall for it again. I'm sure your're sincere, Winter, and I long to rendezvous with you but other women have spoiled it for you and I'm not going to pay $200 in advance. Once bitten, twice shy. xxx
Well I personally have no history of doing so and a few references that would back me up on that. It would be unreasonable for me to keep booking rooms and running my budget dry for clients who can call off the last minute and don't take in the factor that I am very dependent on this income. These sites do exist so you can write reviews and properly out those who take advantage of you. No offense but if $200 is a massive loss to you maybe you should think more about the risks of hiring companions. If I ask for clients to pay for the room, I come off cheap, if I ask for a deposit you all get scared away. I feel like this attitude is actually gonna put a lot of well-meaning escorts who are starting out in this profession out of work which is gonna suck in the long run when only super experienced escorts who charge insane rates are the only people available to book off this site. I just don't see the long-run benefit of all-in-all avoiding deposits, you could be missing out on a really great companion.
But it's also a simple fact that some girls make a habit out of it. This is part of the tension that exists in this business. You can complain about it but that won't change anything. And, no, $200 is not a massive loss for me. I am just not tolerant of being played.
And you do have other options. For example, a cancellation fee. If the guy cancels and doesn't pay the fee he goes on your DNS List. Also do your homework by checking with girls you know about the guy's history. There are also sites that provide such info. So there are lots of ways for you to avoid being taken advantage of that don't require a deposit.
With all due respect, when you preface a comment with "No Offense" it tends to be offensive. Yes, $200 is not a lot of money, but it is still money. No one wants to pay $20, $200 or $2000 for something they do not receive. And yes the irony of my preface is intentional and so many providers never require a deposit that clients can choose. I hear you and your need to get deposits, hopefully you hear and get why some choose not to pay. I am not concerned about getting ripped off - scams are pretty easy to ferret out, it is just so infrequently asked I almost do not see the point. If the paradigm shifts I will gladly pay a deposit, but until then there is no need.
-- Modified on 6/10/2022 2:06:26 PM
Also if you don't want to publicly respond please email me [email protected] I don't see messages on here!
I recently paid a deposit for the first time. A well-reviewed, well-respected provider, 10/10's across the board, active on these forums. So I figured the risk was low. After having to jump through a few hoops to get her a gift card from a site she hadn't been blacklisted from, I sent a deposit (despite it being mentioned nowhere on her bookkng site). At which point, of course, I was immediately ghosted.
So if you're asking why some clients are wary of providing a deposit, take a look at some of your colleagues.
Hello everyone! I am the provider he is talking about. Don't be coy babe. I did not ghost you. I offered to give you back the gift card. You were aggressive and rude, I got very bad vibes from you...and now I am glad I avoided you. I have returned gift cards to people if the date hasn't worked out for any reason. If you did not receive yours...maybe try emailing me.
Everyone who knows me knows I am 2 things: honest, and selective.
Feel free to act like deposits don't make sense lads, it just shows us fine ladies who to avoid. It's my favourite way to spot a gentleman who does not value a lady.
They are in place because many many many more men are shady and out to hurt us women, than there are women out to rip you off over 2oo beans.
To those of you who are kind, respectful and generous, thank you. I love you!
Also, I have literally never been blacklisted b a site, but please please please tell me how one gets blacklisted from a site? hahahahahhahahaha I am dead. You just really said that and didn't think anyone would notice??
Oh for the love of God. True, you are the provider I am talking about, a fact I was perfectly happy you omit. But there you go. And yes, to your credit, you offered to return the deposit. And I told you to keep it as a personal lesson to myself to never pay a deposit again. Because, as has been said here, $200 means nothing to me. Getting played for a fool means quite a lot. You ghosted me TWICE after setting up specific times for dates. To what ends of the earth should I go?
And of course I was neither rude nor arrogant during our conversations. I'm happy to post screenshots of our entire interaction and people can judge for themselves.
And how do you get blacklisted from gift card sites? I dunno, probably by using them as deposits for illegal sexual services? I tried one of the options you gave me, it didn't work and your response was "They don't seem to like my email." I'll jump through one or two hoops; four or five is too many.
Providers are perfectly entitled to request whatever type of deposit they prefer. I would appreciate it however if 1) it was clearly indicated on their booking site, not sprung up once a date has been set, and 2) actually provide a convenient way to pay it.
Lolol you are like a grave digger! You just keep going and going! I wonder how it will feel to have blacklisted yourself within our community so publicly?
I did cancel twice. I’m not ashamed..
How dare I have an emergency, or something happen in my life that meant I didn’t want to see you? How rude of me! I am the worst!
You are the reason I’m UTR. You are the reason girls leave the community. You are the reason deposits are needed.
You literally just outted yourself for refusing to accept the deposit back after I politely offered…NOBODY SCORNED YOU. You just wanted to have a reason to say you don’t pay deposits. YOU ARE JUST CHEAP.
You are also rude and arrogant…and probably many more less favorable things…
I am not black listed on any sites…the algorithms don’t work like that dum dum dummmm smarty pants. I also don’t see many people…like maaaaybe one person a month…sooo you do the math on that haha.
Your slander rolls off my back like you wish you could.
You’re classic. Truly.
In Ireland we have a word that cums to mind..
GOBSHITE.
Ps…
1- I’m UTR duh my website is too
2- You’re not my boss. F off.
3- Everyone reading this realises by now that nobody ever robbed you and you are a liar. Haha have a nice Friday babe. I’m done with you.
I abhor litigating this in a public forum, but here we are. We don't need to resort to "he said, she said" back-and-forth. I can easily post screenshots of our entire interaction. A few redactions, and I can have them up in ten minutes. Just say the word. I would recommend you go back and re-read them before you decide, for the sake of your business.
You didn't cancel twice. You postponed once because you hadnt completed your screening, despite setting a firm time to meet and taking the gift card.
The second time you ghosted, disppeared like ether in the wind. Easily provable. You set up dates and times to meet TWICE, and accepted a deposit, before you were ready to meet. Easily provable. Then you MISTAKENLY (LOL) contacted me here on TER, not realizing I was the same guy.
And of course you only offered to return the deposit after I (respectfully) called you out on it after your mistaken contact. All easily provable.
I am so cheap that I told you to keep the $200 deposit, after the most puzzling and frustrating booking attempt I've ever had. What a miser I am.
And I told you the same thing I posted here. Providers are free to have whatever deposits they desire. But it should be clearly communicated and then, after accepting it, they should... you know, go through with the appointment.
All this can be quickly and easily cleared up. Just give me permission to post the screenshots. Easy. The OP asked a question and asked for examples. She got them. I pointedly left your name out of it. But if you want me to provide proof of how you run things, just say the word.
So here we are, I am probably blacklisted for the cardinal sin of providing references in a timely manner and immediately paying a requested deposit. Just when I thought the depths of this hobby couldn't get any lower. 🤷♂️
And apologies for not realizing how UTR you are, what with your public website, numerous review and incessant "pick me" posting here.
Boy, bye!
Ps…providers be warned.
**blacklisted**
I'm still waiting on your permission to post the screenshots of our conversations. I guess I won't hold my breath...
Any clients can DM me for more info if they're thinking about booking.
Gift card is a major warning sign of a scam. It is quite easy to ferret out the gift card scammers with a bit of common sense and research. Your situation seems unique. Not sure I would call what happened to you a scam - I read your entire thread. My experience is that even the most highly rated providers are somewhat jaded. Can you blame them with what they deal with. I had one provider who I was trying to book an appointment who became openly hostile in text messages when I asked the day before to change my time to an earlier appt. I almost cancelled but she was highly reviewed. She accommodated my request - and she was heavenly, kind, accommodating and it was a great experience. Seen her several times since. I chalked it up to her having to deal with too many last minute request and I caught her at a bad time. I do not judge these ladies as I go though the screening and booking process. That part is strictly business.
Something tells me if you and Scarlett worked out a meeting you would have been pleased with her services.
-- Modified on 6/10/2022 1:46:16 PM
I wouldn't call it a scam either, and never did. But that's the point. It doesn't matter if it's a scam, or the provider is hung over, or bailing her boyfriend out of jail, got a better offer, or just forgot -- the result is the same. I certainly appreciate that providers are jaded, and have a lot on their plate. But this wasn't a $50 blow-and-go or even a $400 AMP; this was supposedly one of the top experiences with one of the most highly respected women in NYC. I don't think it's too much to expect at least a modicum of professionalism and care when dealing with bookings and deposits.
And I agree with your last paragraph. But I never questioned her services. I questioned her ability to manage her business in a competent manner. Or rather, denied its existence. Based on my private messages, I'm not the only one.
Babe, you def need to ask for a gift up front. The gentlemen who you want to spend your time with, will be respectful and understanding. The others, who are not interested in your value, are best avoided anyway. They are the ones most likely to be trouble down the road. I've been lucky to avoid a few with my deposit policy. I didn't implement it until I was learned the hard way.
Honestly, the truly magical gentlemen do not care about such a small gift, because the time you spend with time will be even better!
As some would say, the “E” in GFE translates to and encapsulates a bespoke luxurious high-end Experience. Many may already be aware that access to high-end luxuries such as certain michelin star restaurants, custom tailored suits, and certain types of investments require you to either leave a credit card on file (to reserve your time) or a deposit to confirm you are serious about moving forward. As such, it should CUM as no surprise that this part of our lives would be any different. Plus, it’s generally only a couple of hundred bucks. No one is getting rich off of this amount of money. For me, when I started years ago, it initially was a shock, but as I forged forward it it became more common among ladies I’ve met. It seems like a personal decision but I can tell you that if we really want to meet you, we would not blink an eye if a deposit was required. Best of luck. xoxo Aces.
I adore you!! Ugh!! I’m so hot for you right now!! Thank you for just getting it. You’re a superstar! (Further appreciation will be shown in future heehee!
Don't post on here much, mainly lurk. Been seeing SWers for 15 years. Some don't require deposits and some do. Of the ones that do require deposits I've never been scammed or lost any money. I had a medical emergency come up at the beginning of COVID and I had to cancel my appointment with a provider. We were going to have a long date and the deposit was a considerable amount. Needless to say she was happy to refund the deposit, I told her to keep a percentage for herself because she had to go through screening process, emails, etc. There's also disproportionate of "anti deposits" users on here versus a platform like twitter. So asking this question in a place where most of the users are either A) Cheap or B) Assholes won't get the honest answer you're looking for.
TL;DR - Deposits are fine, do your research. If you got scammed you probably didn't do your research for a reputable provider and you were probably thinking with your dick instead of your head.
Perfect response. Thank you!
I’m glad you’re ok!
I know many ladies who require deposits for any appt even an hr. Some advertise here,Twitter,tryst,P411,and other sites.
I ask for a deposit for Overnights and FMTY dates only at this time however I do have a cancellation fee policy.
Majority of gents who need to cancel and it is close to appt date do honor my cancellation policy. But there are some who will refuse to pay a cancellation fee.
When a provider tours or in her homebase has to secure a hotel for incall and guys cancel that can get very costly especially if touring since travel and hotel has went up substantially.
I've heard more than a few clients who have paid a deposit and got ghosted. I will say a few were reputable but most of these women were scammers. When asked in depth about it clients have admitted they did not do adequate research before sending deposit.
The ladies I know who ask for deposit are not risking their reputation on scamming guys out of a couple of hundred dollars.
but you're under an alias so....who really cares.
I got scammed a few times early on but have been better since finding TER 6 or 7 years ago. I did notice a new very highly rated provider in nyc with a few 10/10 reviews just had 2 reviews posted that she ghosted client after she got deposit/gift card. This is the example that we need to figure out how to spot and avoid. New, amazing reviews and then these 2 reviews. I wouldnt be happy either if it happened to me. Now these guys will be hesitant to give future deposit to someone and u can understand why. Some great ladies have commented here...one who ive seen....hey scarlett 
. Would love to hear from them how to handle this type of situation.
As a provider who never took deposits u til last month, it's SO worth it. Especially if you're like me and book a hotel room as opposed to having your own incall. I had 3 last minute cancelations in the span of 2 weeks and I realized how much of my time was being wasted with the cancellations.
Now that I've started asking for deposits, I never get last minute cancelations. My time is much more appreciated. And when booking a date, a man will make sure he can definitely be there before booking now which saves both of us time and hassle. It really makes things so much easier for me. I accept deposits through vanilla Visa gift card which is honestly the most discreet way for both parties. You can also do cashapp and venmo but those are less discreet. Good luck
Being a P411 member I wouldn't have a problem giving anyone a deposit. The owners at P411 are there to protect both parties!
I do require deposits now, when I am traveling to avoid being left in the negative by gents who really don't respect my time and efforts.
If I am home, in Houston, I do not require a deposit if the gentleman is booking through P411, or the date is only an hour.
But I do have my own private location, so I am able to save more by not having hotel fees.
Having been in this business for quite a long time, I can't tell you how many times I have been left "on the hook" while touring. I have no actual recourse to recoup any of my losses if the gent just flat out refuses to cover the basics of a cancellation fee.
As was mentioned above, the price of travel and hotels have gone up tremendously over the past year or so. It is not right to expect anyone to travel (based upon expressed interest) just for them to be ghosted in the end. 
To speak on scammers, they are everywhere. This is why it is very important to do your research first before jumping into a date.
Is it fool-proof? I'm sure there is someone who has had that one off chance of being scammed by someone that had a reputable presence. But it is not the norm.
No recourse to recoup sums it up well - I think that is why so many people are hesitant to give deposits. I don't because so many do not require. Even you do not require for visits at your homebase. I think it is east to ferret out a scammer with a bit of research and a few calls/text - they tend to go after low hanging fruit. You ladies provider a great service that should be legal thus eliminating the no recourse to recoup.
That is correct, I don't require deposits when I'm home, in Houston, because I'm not out of any costs if the gent doesn't keep his date with me. (Just aggravation that my time has been wasted)
If I'm traveling, I have paid out of my own pocket. When men decide to NCNS, or have those 'valid excuses' for cancelling, I'm still out of the money that I have paid to be in their area. So now I'm out of money AND pissed. Lol
It is what it is.
If a guy decides not to send me a deposit, I'm not mad about it. I move on with my life, as he does his. Lol
But will I travel away from home, without deposits? Not ever again. And I've worked way too long of having a stellar reputation that no one has ever had to worry about my word, or lack of professionalism.
To each his own. 
Deposits are a real dirty word and I know make it a policy not even bother seeing a provider if she requires a deposit. There is a lot bait and switch. This year alone i am out almost 1.5K from providers ghosting me after deposits. I encourage all of my fellow hobbyists not to see any provider requiring deposits no matter how good they look.
You should check out humaniplex. It is not as burdensome as p411 and a great resource for independents that host in hotels.
-- Modified on 6/10/2022 2:08:39 PM
The reality is this is not a legal business and there is little recourse if either side of the transaction is ripped off. There are good and bad on both sides of the equation (I would say more bad on the client side than the provider cuz men are well - men). The ladies that pour shade on men that do not pay deposits miss the point that there are scammers out there. The men who pour shade on the women who require deposit miss the point that there are jerks out there.
I do not pay deposits for one reason and one reason only - there are way more providers that do not require deposits than those that do - it is quite simple. I hurts me to see highly reviewed providers like ScarletOmalley litigating this with such venom, but it also makes me realize who she is dealing with - Men. Until now I did not realize this was such a contentious issue. When a provider requires a deposit I merely say no thank you and move on. It is so infrequent that I did not think it was even an issue. I will still not pay deposits - there are way too many high end providers that do not require it and none of the asian providers ever ask for a deposit.