To go up the floors..any chance anyone can private message me?

...have teenage children who lose keys often, and what is their policy.  Works every time!

I have zero idea of the type of hotel to choose that would be visitor friendly since I have never been there

Budget, Style preferences, location needs etc. Even though big chains have more foot traffic to blend in with, I would stick to mid-sized properties. Most of the smaller trendy boutique places do require keys, so if you're considering specific options, I would call ahead as suggested.

Meet her at the elevator, and be as incognito as needed...

Simply inquire about hotel security. It not unusual for Manhattan hotels to get those kind of questions.

and incognito is impossible for the way I look…going down to the bar every couple of hours or so to meet men is never something I would consider lo

I always call ahead too, and with a reasonable excuse the front desk won't think twice about it. I tell them my mother is going to be staying in NYC alone and I'm concerned about how safe their hotel is for an elderly woman traveling alone. (Ha, I'm sure my mother would kill me if she knew I was calling her elderly!)

Most still don't have that system.  Just avoid the very new, "glass tower" types.  Stick with central Midtown Manhattan and 90% are walk-right-in access.

Hi everyone  

Radisson on Lexington is a good choice. Nice and clean yet anonymous.