Ok Let's try something else should we? We have scatching,beatuy,brains Blonde, lovers ....

We all here at TER see so many ads for so many beautiful ladies both NYer's as well as traveling girls. Right now in fact we have ads that together go someting like this

Itches and scatching,beauty,brains Blonde, lovers bombshells,goddesses,and fun, tours ,dress up girls , cute btw

That's great and all but I thought it might be fun to turn it on it's head .
Just for fun of course I would love it if the guys would make an ad on this thread lol What would you write if you were selling yourself to us? I would be interested to see the funny, interesting and exposing replies we might get from seeing what the boys might find as important and notable in their adHow would you make your ad shine among all of the rest What's your differential gentlemen?  What do you  guys want us to know about you ? Assuming I turned you out this afternonlol Gentlemen Go Kendal Lynn

For your pleasure
TER ladies take $50 my already low hourly rate.
Gifts required.
My likes....Polo, drakkar, vizio, golfsmith.

Disclaimer:
Okay....It was for fun. No jokes about the hard body thing Everything else is true

Re: Ok Let's try something else should we? We have scatching,beatuy,brains Blonde, lovers ....

Pussy Starved Psycho in Town for a Short Time.
Maybe you've seen some of my movies, Frankie the Hoe does Donna Putana or Frankie Submarine Dives on Multiple Divas. I'm now in town for your private sensual sexcapades. So come on girls, eat me, fuck me suck me. I'm energetic, fun and accommodating with a tongue that won't stop and a turbo charged cock. For the more adventerous of you out there I have a wide selection of toys whips and chains that will allow you to live out all your insane fantasies. Screening is defintely not necessary so come as you are, come early and come often. My donations are non negotiable but don't worry, if you're short on funds I can lend you some.
Kisses xoxoxo
Frankie the Hoe

lmao Truth in advert........ Go easy there Blue lol

I happen to know you are not any of those things at all But I thought it was hysterical
Boss i love all three of your legs Mr rock hard And Frankie lol I loved your movie with the chicks that were supposed to be a androids What was their names? 7 of yours? Kendall

......Available Anytime at Your Whim!!!

$$$$x$$$$$$ = Mo $$$$$$$$$$$$$$

And Ladies, OCTOBER SPECIAL $$$$$$$$: Shopping Sprees included afterwards $$$$$$!!!!!

Call me @ Get-All-MyGs, enter code word, IMeanBankAccount.

and I am as good with my tongue and my cock as my sister Rae is with her ass and her throat.

'Nuff said.

[email protected]  

Serious inquiries only!

Then look no further as your SEXUAL salvation is coming from New England's very own Stallion XXX.

The minute you walk thru the door of my hotel room I promise you that the 1st thing you are getting is an intense kiss which no other man can recreate. No soft mouth kisses are allowed in my company.

The 1st five to 10 minutes you will know how my mouth will caress every square inch of you body and in turn you will feel like the most desired woman in the world. Now that is what classic foreplay is all about.

Guys are always wondering how to please a woman but no worries here as I know what the ladies secretly desire which is a man penetrating her pussy and brown eye at the very same time. No worries here as a second male companion will not be necessary at all.  I will provide all the meat and necessary toys to create your  "DP" fantasy.

What are you waiting for ladies and call Stallion XXX at (555) XXX-DPDP before my schedule is filled up to the rim.

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FANTASTIC!  I've always wanted a booking with you; and now with your TER special I am able to finally take the plunge.

Kiss,
design.lust

My first ever advert had "Soccer" in it; and none of those other words!

(it was rather successful, by the way...!)

Kiss, thanks for a great post!
design.lust

Hey there sexy! Disappointed because of an Ex? Tired of that same old routine with your SO? Feeling rather lonely at night? Work leaving you stressed out? Well, today is your lucky day because you have come across the perfect remedy guaranteed to spice up your day….and still leave you enough time to catch your favorite show on TV! I’m young, in-shape, and I guarantee I will ROCK your world!

……BACKGROUND: Born and raised in the Big Apple….but I’m originally of Portuguese descent….I hold 2 advanced degrees and I enjoy having nice intellectual conversations on any range of subjects.  I have traveled the world and I speak 5 languages; English, Portuguese, Spanish, Italian, and French….My home base is now in D.C. but I do tour my home state often!

……STATS: 6-Feet Tall, 6-inch Wood with a plump Mushroom Tip, Tan 6-Pack Abs, 7.5 in looks, 8 for my Body, 9 for my Performance, and 10 in Personality!
……I can be that nice guy you’ve always dreamed of…. That delightful BFE who wines and dines you…who takes his time with you and never rushes….who kisses you passionately and massages you from head to toe!
OR
……I can be completely PSE….and pretend that we really are in a XXX flick! I will work my HARDest to fulfill all of your DEEPest fantasies or any fetish you may have over and over again!

……FACTS:
-->I promise to be well-groomed, well-dressed (I can also go commando if you wish), and smelling amazing! Good hygiene is important to me
-->Donation is the same for either BFE or PSE preference
-->Guaranteed 4-5 Cups per Session (with Wood and Pops on command)
-->It all boils down to your preferences….I always prefer to take my time with you and savor the moment….When you’re with me I’ll make you feel like you’re the only girl in the world! Isn’t it time you treated yourself to something nice for a change??? I’ll have you licking your lips reminiscing about our time together!
-->Also available for Dinner Dates, Extended Dates (4 hours +), Overnights (12 hours +), 2 day Arrangements (48 hours), Weekly Engagements, or Month Long Adventures!…I can be the perfect companion for going to a nice restaurant, club, bar, beach, pool, movie, strip clubs, swinger clubs, trips to other countries, cruises, or anywhere else you may have in mind… Inquire within for more details  
-->If you leave unsatisfied a full refund will be provided!

…….CONTACT: I’m available 24/7 and e-mail is preferred…I can be reached at [email protected] or if you want the REAL thing…just PM me!
100% REAL!
CARPE DIEM!

Had a tough day? Came home, got comfortable reached over to the nightstand only to find that your favorite BOB is down for the count?

Leaving you hot, wet and bothered with nowhere to turn?

Well, today is your lucky day! A mindblowing, body shocked, endorphin rushed orgasmic good time is only a phone call away! So pick up the phone and give me a ring. With a quick spin in the phone booth and a leap to the sky Primus, your personal living, breathing, muffin- stuffin' orgasmatron will be on the way.

I'll lick your button to a blissful burst, and nibble your nipples while you breathlessly curse...
Back into me and I'll fill you up, stretching and stroking, guaranteed multiple cups...!!!
As you lay there and sigh so pleasantly relieved, you'll giggle with mirth while my tongue takes it's leave....

Wandering your body from the nape of your neck,
To those dark musky places wet with intent..
Your quim will quiver and your body will quake;
For as long as you want, until you pleasantly ache.

In the end your hair will be tossed and lipstick smeared, you'll leave thoroughly satisfied and your mind will be cleared. Strutting bow legged in a post coital blush, floating on air thinking a repeat is a must!

Wine, dinner, full body massage and engaging conversation included.

Act Fast! Exclusive limited engagement!

I'll look into your eyes.  I'll kiss you.  I'll hold you.  I'll massage your back.  I'll rub your feet.  I'll kiss you all over.  And when you are ready for me, I'll fill you with joy.

Hot horny male here to Fill you with nothing but pleasure.  Plan ahead, because you will not be physically able to see another client after we are finnished.  I've been told I fuck like a porn star, and I plan to give you a run for your money.  Who ever cums first pays!!!

This advert is one of the best I've ever read!

design.lust

I've got 2 mottos that I live by, ladies.

Number 1 .......  " Have tongue, will travel. "   My fave thing is that "lickin', flickin', dining at your Y" thing.  Of course, I'm more than happy to have you just cum on by - close your eyes & sit on my face.   I'll let you move your hips and ass just the way you want to.

Number 2 ......  " Beat me - kick me, it hurts SO good !! "  That's right.  I'm a typical red-blooded American guy.  Go ahead.  Abuse me. Attack me.  Everybody else does.  Just ask my boss or my ex's.

Just know that I keep on going and you may have to "do" me more than once.


Interested ??  Then let "my" photo speak a thousand words and do me justice.  ( see link )
Witness for yourself the dress code of a classy, sexy man.

Thank you for not retching,
Manny

As you well know Amazonian, attraction works completely different for most women than it does for men, so no amount of "Good looking, great body" type of ads are going to mean a thing and draw (attractive)women.   Cause if it did, don't you think there would be an equal amount of guys in prostitution as there are women?   But an attractive woman would never need to resort to paying for sex anyway, because she can literally sleep with any guy she wants.   Oh, how great it is to be a hot woman, eh ladies?   Lol.  

It's funny how men grow up conditioned to think if they're good-looking, they're gonna get laid like rock-stars, but reality is, that is far from the case.   Most women don't look at men and lust over their physical appearance the way us men lust after a woman's physical appearance.   They don't sit there thinking to themselves, "Wow, that guy is hot, I wanna fuck him really bad".   Guys: look around you on any given night in the N.Y.C. area, and take notice of all the hot women out there...you will see that most are with below avg.-looking guys, guys who look like dweebs, or guys who look like rags.   The biggest mistake men make is thinking that what attracts men to women, is going to attract women to men; that what works for women in the mating game, is also gonna work for them too.   Guys who think like this are only shooting themselves in the foot.   If a guys good-looks mattered to most women, we'd all be fucking every night and having babies like there's no tomorrow.   And is that happening?   Some say it's natures way of controlling the population.  

An attractive chick I know who wants me bad even admits it.  In a conversation with her last weekend, I said to her, "Kelli, you're a rare breed, most women don't care about a guys looks".   And she's like, "Yeah, I know".   She knows she's a rare breed.   A woman herself admitting it.  

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I am a male provider. (For woman)  My services are exclusively for women who are into FGE. (The Fat guy experience).  I can be whatever your desire for the hour (or more if you have pretty feet, or ask nicely).

I can be the dirty truck driver you've always fantasized about.  After a 15 hour drive I am ready to peel off them overalls, and heat things up with my sexy sideburns.

Not your thing? , ok, I can be a clown.  You can clime all over me like a trapeze artist.  I will even bring the big shoes, and let you squeeze my noise maker.  (the one on my nose silly).  I bring the the circus to you!

Still not doing it for you?  I can be the large Russian plumber, teach me English and show me how to lay pipe the American way!

I can be the hefty disgruntled mailman.  I need to deliver a package at any cost,  and the only route to the destination is over your bed, and you won't let me cross without paying the toll.  (No EZ-Pass accepted!)

The possibilities are endless!!

I charge what I am worth, if I am a luxury that you can't afford, I'll probably settle for less. (Especially since you think I'm a luxury, I impress easily.)  I expect you to bring an unmarked unsealed envelope with small bills. Upon entering my location you should rip it open and count it out loud as you shove each bill one at a time into my back pocket.  (Don't forget to tell me exactly what I need to do to earn it.)  Then without me asking, head to the bathroom.  This will give me time to count the money and dance around the room.  You are NOT to shower. (There is no such thing as a dirty woman).  Just practice making kissy faces in the mirror as you gear up for your FGE fantasy to come true.

So give me a call!  With me you get a LOT for you money.  Dream big!  You deserve the best, why settle for less?


DISCLAIMER: The above is for entertainment purposes only and is not a advertisement for prostitution, or any other elicit activity.  That is unless of-course your hot.  In that case it would still not be prostitution, cause I would provide my service for free. Actually I'd pay you.. oh wait that that would be prostitution again.. Uh, just bring me a sandwich and hope for the best.  Wink, wink.

(Also, don't open the door too fast, I may or may not be hiding behind it wearing something sexy..)

Ok guys You may consider uniting even if only for ease of reference varifications

I thought your ads were really Very Good, great even Original and creative highlighting your special something all you have that varies provider to provider No lack of selection here
I have to say clearly I was disappointed you guys other than the manny Man Did not choose to include the allll important pictures of yourselves ,or at least a pic representing what you think you look like,  .We, like yourselves like a pic to see what we could expect to be getting for our money LOL But I suppose the words will have to do to get my imagination going
Meantime back at the ranch I think it is time for a new post Take a guess what my next post will be? You do not need to be a genius to figure this one out Over and out guys,Kendall lynn

just sayin. lol

great post kendal!

Very low volume but it is not because I'm toooo expensive, I'm picky.
Older, great looking guy but I don't kiss unless your hot.

You can lick me though and kiss me all over.
CFS, no greek and you better smell clean and fresh !!!!!!

$$$$$$$$  If your're gigger than me.
$$$$$$      If you don't have a nice smile.
$$$$         If you want to play with my greek isle.
$$$           If you're hot, but don't kiss or are shy.
$$             If you hit me with your DD's.
$               If your under 30 and want an education.
Free           You know who you are !!!


Thanks
That was fun.

Big loser available to be serviced whenever I feel like it.   Yes, this handsome client can be yours!  Want the company of a well-built, muscular, man with a beautiful head of hair?  Well that's me (about 10 years ago).    Allow yourself the pleasure of the experience of the exhilarating sex I offer, which can last 30 minutes or 30 seconds as I can cum all over my hands as I put on the condom.  

Enjoy my magic act!  Watch in amazement as each time I show up for an appointment, some hair that was once on my head will magically appear on my back.   Allow yourself to stare with wonder  at a body that was once thin and athletic transformed into a pale, soft pile of flab.   Also, come watch the magical personality change as I talk about and ask to perform all kinds of raunchy, wild activities early in the session while I'm all hard and charged up.  Then after I cum, allow me to shower compulsively, douse myself with purell and basically spend a half hour trying to get rid of any evidence our encounter ever happened as you try to watch tv.

Up for a two-pop session?   Then you're in for a treat as I try to make small talk as I wait for my once always ready organ to come back to life.    Yes, enjoy the awkwardness while I stutter and stammer, trying to think of something to talk about as I'm laying on your bed naked with a limp dick.

Fun fun fun!