so, just a note to express (rare) frustration and disappointment in the world of hobbying...

When a "well known, experienced" provider refuses to even start to pre-verify me solely because i won't give her my employers name and contact info, I have to say I get mildly annoyed. She (or anyone!) can of course refuse me.  No big deal.  Im a believer that providers can and should choose to see who they want when they want.  But to insist that I give out my employers name and information is unreasonable when the whole point of TER and P411 (for me atleast) is to LIMIT my exposure.  Really...the only reason a provider would insist on this kind of detailed info from me is to either verify my name OR to hold the info for future use.  The latter is a little scary.  Both TER and p411 provide a level of verification, so I find it unreasonable.  I am white listed on TER and have okays on p411.

"because if you will not follow through with the little requests then I will not trust you with the important ones."  That's what she said.  I don't find the request to be "little".  And since I'm the hobby "customer", her trust is twisted.  She will never enjoy my business, and I'm sure she couldn't care less.  

How many providers absolutely insist on this?  How many clients actually give it out?  If they do give it out, how many give honest info

P411 confirmed my employment so what's the point. I just had a provider on P411 ask me if it was OK to contact the providers who had given me "Okays" on P411.. I thought that was the point of the okay. Of course, I said yes go ahead.. but why would a provider give an Okay then not provide a reference..

If I gave a different impression, let me be clear that I am 100% all for screening!  

100% of the time screening of me will not include my employers name and contact info.  I won't provide that info. If that's a deal breaker even after many white list references and p411 okays, well, so be it.  P411 did not require employer details.  The providers who have been so kind to give references for me did not require employer details.

Forget it and move on.Don't get pissed and try to wrong this right.There are lots of providers that make reasonable verification request go see one of them.

Thx.  Not pissed.  Bummed maybe. Because I obviously wanted to meet this provider.  Not trying to right any wrong.  Really was more curious How many providers absolutely insist on this (it's a first for me in many years of this, with white lists and now p411 etc)?  How many clients actually give it out?

I didn't see your previous reviews or WL. The provider is a little paranoid and I wouldn't give her any of my info.. I have far fewer WL and I have never needed more then that to see anyone . NEXT !!!

Id do it, but only if the providor gives me her real name & shows me a photo ID to prove it...I mean, hopefully men have learned something from the Alexis Wright/Zumba fiasco..NEVER.....provide your real ID/ETC..just my 2 cents worth.

 

Personally, recent P411 okays or whitelists are enough to make me feel secure. But usually I also ask for full legal name and phone number. This allows a provider to run someone through Veriftyhim. I only ask for employment info if someone doesn't have any other way of screening, and when they refuse under those circumstances, that's very frustrating. This is clearly not the case with you gents, but for others out there, we need SOMETHING. If you're not willing to comply with any screening method, please don't contact us in the first place. It is such a waste of time. I'm sure you can understand.

As for this particular lady, you might consider the possibility that the reason she insists is so that she is able to find you in case the worst happens and the session turns abusive or violent. You can't go to the police with a TER handle. So you might want to cut her some slack.

Nor do i really care who you work for.  I just need to know that you are not a super prick,  smelly guy or carry cuffs.  Simple!  I cannot stand guys that are a pain in the ass with the reference process.  They don't have p411, no datecheck,  no white list ref's...they give you a couple of names with no website, email addy or phone #.  Really makes me think they are fucktahded.  

Is this question in all earnesty, or are you just venting?

If it's an honest question, the answer is that many well-respected ladies who take their businesses seriously require this type of information.  For me, it is one of my OPTIONS for screening, but it is not required.  Many gentlemen are happy to provide this type of information because they wouldn't see a provider in the first place if she didn't seem professional enough to trust her with basic details such as their legal name and employment info, which they give to every other professional (doctor, therapist, dentist, personal trainer, masseuse) who they see.  Many ladies have this requirement because it makes them feel comfortable and there are plenty of men who are happy to comply.

I am happy with either references OR identity/employment info, but that's just me and my comfort level.  To each her own.

But it's a very common request.  Having your info "held for future use" is helpful for us ladies if someone turns violent.  It's mostly a safety mechanism.  Even though I accept references in lieu of real-world personal details, I'm always MORE comfortable when a gentleman is up front about all of his information.  Nothing puts me at ease like a blank email from a guy's verifiable work account.  But definitely choose your ladies wisely if you're going to be giving out that type of sensitive information, and be on your best behavior.  

The question is asked very earnestly. I'm not mad.  I'm not pissy or anything.  It's a real curiosity.  I am totally all about safety and screening and common sense.

Do me a favor, naughty Erin and natural Zoey and dreamy Ernestine, look me up on TER. Look me up on p411 (I've just signed up there). Or anywhere else you would normally look.  Tell me if I contacted you (with my clean nice cock Erin!) if you'd accept me and book a date or actually ask for the details of my employers..  I am willing to give (in my research reputable) providers my real name.  I'll allow you to match that with my license on arrival (which, by the way, has NEVER been done, not once!, in my many years playing here and in other states).

Just tell me yay or nay.  Would you see me?  Or ask for my employers details?

-- Modified on 6/1/2015 6:34:15 PM

This is very interesting reading, thanks folks. It brought up two thoughts:

First, it seems very cautious clients like to minimize the identifying information they give, but very cautious providers like to maximize the information they get. Ironically, that seems to encourage the most cautious clients (who prefer to say nothing) to connect with the least cautious providers (who expect nothing)?  

Second, retaining identifying information strikes me as being risky for the provider to the extent it makes her a more attractive law enforcement target. Arresting a lady with a list is worth much more than just arresting a lady alone. Acquiring a provider's collection of client identifying information would be appealing to an ambitious investigator or prosecutor, who could use it to generate arrests, interrogations, confessions, and thus convictions. And it might not even matter if her list came to law enforcement's attention through an assault complaint where she was a victim, or a prostitution arrest where she was the defendant. Either way, they could exploit the identifying information and then pat themselves on the back for protecting a "sex trafficking victim" from her deviant criminal clients.  

Some determined providers might be able to hold out from surrendering their client info while enduring jailhouse coercion, but most people cave instantly under police pressure.  

After being used for her list in that way, a provider would still find herself unemployed and unemployable in her field even if she wasn't charged.  

Provider and client alike, we all need to set our limits based upon our own sense of safety and security.  

I truly believe that most often, screening can be accomplished in a manner where everyone feels comfortable if the communication is respectful and genuine. If not? It may chafe to spend time and not find agreement, but no sense getting upset. Respect each other and move on. Life is too short and this is supposed to be enjoyable!

You have an impeccable whitelist record, so I would ask for your legal name, run you through verifyhim, and then call it a day.  

But again, when the worst case scenario is so, so bad, it is our prerogative to be painstakingly cautious. If that loses her business, I'm sure that's a calculated decision and she's at peace with it.

I need your p411  id

As some others have said, don't get it and move on...but I Do get what you're saying.

Me, personally?  I'm going through the p411 verification process myself right now.  I have notified my regular providers about being contacted and they're cool with that.  I have a federal job and I have no problem giving the phone number- I usually answer it anyways.  Besides, I asked that they use a fictitious kitchen remodeling company name.  Other than that, I'm already ok'd through Down City Divas ( in Rhode in Rhode Island) but haven't taken advantage of that yet.

As always. Have fun and happy hobbling!

D.

END OF MESSAGE

I'm one of the most strict on screening, but I have my standard of what works for me and I stick to that. Things have been ok, so far. I would accept YOUR Whiteslists and p411 with the okays, I do however ask for employment information if the whitelists or okays are old, if the references aren't reputable, or if I just need that extra security.  

 
IMHO she is a bit overkill, but like you said she can request what she'd like. She is an indy I assume, this is her life and her safety, she has to feel comfortable. Also, I get so tired of guys using that excuse, its been for years, member the "Zumba instructor", member the "diamond girls", member the "LI fiasco", those happen very seldom in the sea of many busts and in the years Ive been in the industry, I often find that the guys that are the most paranoid about employment information are the "nothing special" guys, meanwhile the Highfalutin guys hand over their employment info with no issues

Why the alias?
 

Yeah..Ive got a problem with you labeling someone (like me) the "nothing special guys"...I have a lot that is worth safeguarding...THATS why i dont give out my personal info...the zumba thing wasnt that long ago either.  

You are entitled to do whatever you want, but with excessive screening youre missing out on someone very special, like me. But recently Ive kinda started looking into more regular SB/SD arrangements anyway.  

Good luck.

I also do a reverse phone look up, and can figure out by asking questions who someone is.
But if they use one of these 3 services, or are White listed, I just put the number into Google and safe office to make sure there are no bad boy reports and we are good!
I also secure our time with a $100 deposit.
Otherwise, it's 50-50 that people show.  Can't run a business like that.
so yes, I think there can be verification overkill BUT!
Everyone handles things the way they are comfortable.
My 2 cents!!

xoCla

Linkedin  is jus as clean as yours and is accounting?
 
Then I know more about you and remove you( "you" hypothetical  date)

 It is one of my one ONE of method of screening and you would not believe how many nice men even endorsed me there ..
yet not all my linked in is TER men .. - I remove them after safe date is completed and we do not have any other business ..

Provider OK's, whitelist, and REPUTABLE references seem to be the way to go over employment verification.  Reputable means NOT the one girl you saw 6 years ago who has vanished from the business, her phone number doesn't work anymore, and there are only outdated traces on a Google search to long-gone Backpage ads, but instead a girl who is still actively working, having a decent website and a healthy number of recent reviews helps a lot, as well.

I understand the desire to "know that he is who he says he is."  But perhaps he says he is "Dr. John Doe of John Doe Medical Associates" and gives his phone number to his office that he owns.  You call, and the secretary answers, "Thank you for calling Dr. John Doe Medical Associates, how may I direct your call?"  You say you are 'calling on behalf of ABC Electrical to confirm that John Doe will be available for his service appointment' and the secretary transfers you to Dr. John.  Ok... so you know now that Dr. John Doe has a medical office, but you don't know that he isn't a psycho behind closed doors.  

Is it just the fact that IF you turn up dead in a dumpster... detectives will have a phone record tracing you to Dr. John Doe's office?  Great, but you're still dead in a dumpster.  Or is it just to verify that he isn't LE, disregarding his potentially violent character