I'm pretty new to this world and many times I feel that behind the provider ads there is this curtain of mystery to which I have no access. At times it seems to defy the usual logic that if someone posts an ad they are welcoming business. I wish it were that simple. Recently, I had a rare segment of free time in my schedule for the following day and I wanted to make the best use of it and tried to line something up. I don't have the luxury to set something up on the spur of the moment, the way I feel most providers prefer. God forbid you try to set something up in advance. My free time is rare I'm not willing to rely on spur of the moment arrangements. In any case, this past week I tried to make arrangements for the following day and lined up several providers in terms of preference just in case my first choices fell through. Some of the providers came from my TER favorite list, some from backpage and some from escortcafe. What followed was an experience of extreme frustration. It started out encouragingly enough. The first person I called picked up, and she informed me that she could only do a service if I rented a motel room. Not my preference, plus she advertised that she did in services as well. Took a rain check on that one. A little frustrated that her ad was not entirely accurate, but she was nice enough, and at least she answered her phone. Next person I call, her name was Isabelle (we'll come back to her) sounds like she is game for an early appt. for the next day, says call back later to confirm. Sounded good, but I'm always suspicious, so I tried others just for back up in case this falls through. Here's where the "fun" begins. I must have called close to 20 providers. Several numbers were either out of service or someone else's number. Some had mailboxes that were full and couldn't leave messages. I also left some texts. Not one return message or phone call! OK, so I'm a little exasperated, but I still have Isabelle. I call later in the day and she confirms the appt. for the next day. Great. Oh, just as an aside, one girl I messaged from backpage two days before my desired day got back to me and said she couldn't do it that day because she was getting "circumcised" that day, are you kidding me! This was beginning to feel a little impossible, but I still have Isabelle. So the next day I take an hour ride to Manchester, NH, and as we discussed, I call a half hour before arrival, but no answer. It was hard not to get a sinking feeling at this point. I call several more times, no answer. I finally arrive at the address she gave me only to find it is a bagel shop. I am now feeling that I've been had. I leave with a mixture of disappointment and resentment. I later text her, I just couldn't let it go, and tell her that her ad states that she hates wasting people's time and that morning she wasted close to three hours of mine. She finally texts back and says she was in the hospital, yeah, and my dog ate my homework. Sorry to be so long-winded, my point is that I'm beginning to experience that in front of the legitimate, available providers, there is a sea of names and ads that don't represent anything real or current. Is the field that transient? There is one provider, that I think is fairly well known who advertises recently and  TER reviews state that she is easy to get in touch with. The review is only a month old. I've call her five times and each time her mailbox is full. I'm beginning to see that you have to wade through a multitude of extinctions and fraudulence before you find the real thing.

-- Modified on 3/16/2016 6:24:53 PM

-- Modified on 3/16/2016 6:25:43 PM

The first thing I'd suggest is avoiding backpage. While there are certainly some legitimate providers to be found there, you'll need to wade through the scammers, flakes, and rip offs. Not the best place for those without experience to find a legitimate provider. Try checking out Eros, or look on the ad boards right here.

Second, even booking a day in advance may not be sufficient for legitimate providers, sometimes screening can take a while. I've had times when it's taken several days to hear back from references (especially if they're low volume).

Third, I'd suggest getting a membership with Preferred411 or Date Check. It will make the screening process go much faster, and you can also check the ads there for providers.

Fourth, avoid providers that don't screen their clients. If they don't care about their own safety, they're certainly not going to care about yours. It's also a good sign that they don't take their business seriously, and that they're careless. Especially avoid providers offering incalls who don't screen. They likely have a lot of traffic, and there's a good chance they're being watched by people you'd probably want to avoid having to talk to.

Fifth, never make appointments with multiple providers unless you intend to see them all. That's just inconsiderate and disrespectful of their time. They could be turning away other potential appointments because you've booked with them. Even if you cancel with what you feel is reasonable notice, it's very unlikely they'll be able to arrange another appointment unless you've cancelled several days in advance (don't forget they'd need sufficient time to screen another client).

Gents have a variety of reasons for preferring to arrange things via phone, but here's one reason why it may be a less reliable form of communication: many of us have either a separate work phone that we don't bring everywhere in order to not raise eyebrows or use Google Voice, which can be spotty for recognizing incoming calls. In addition, sometimes we get so swamped with online communication that we either forget or don't have time to respond. E-mail is just easier: everything is there in front of you. It is also a pain in the ass to get screening information over the phone. I have to find a pen. That's so 20th century.

In addition, I try to use my phone sparingly because about 90% of the time, phone calls do not result in appointments. They are guys looking to get off on wasting my time and hearing the sound of my voice, sort of playing with the idea of seeing an escort like a cat messing around with a half-dead mouse, thinking "Ooh, is she real?" And then they never book a time to actually meet. So I'm not really incentivized to answer my phone.

Lastly, I must echo Aurora--unless you have a pricing problem, see reputable providers. All the upstanding, professional, excellent gals I know LOVE to book in advance and often won't even accept last-minute bookings (like myself). Understand that we are in high demand and also have lives. I personally find calling at the last minute to see if I'm free "now" pretty disrespectful, given how clear I am in my advertising.

So, it sounds like you just need to go up a tier in the level of providers you're seeing.

I hope that's helpful! There are definitely a ton of flaky ladies (AND gentlemen) out there, but those of us who take our work seriously aren't among them.

I've only been at this for a little over a year, and initially I learned some hard lessons early.

First and foremost, don't ever, under any circumstances, use backpage.  Your chances for running into trouble are very high.

Second, i think email will give you more luck as an initial means of contact.  I personally prefer it myself.  And I would not see any provider that doesn't take the time to screen me.  We also have a means of screening, and that's reviews.  If a provider has a significant number of reviews, that's a good thing.  You can get a general sense of what to expect from a provider.  Since I started using TER, I have had nothing but good luck.  Use the reviews of fellow hobbyists as your means to screen.  If a provider has very few reviews, personally I would be hesitant to see them. They could be fake or maybe the provider and hobbyist didn't click.  Get a bigger sample size.  Also realize......there's a lot of flaky hobbyists out there as well.

The old adage "you get what you pay for" is always true.  If you call someone and they schedule you the same day without verification and you pay $80 for a half hour..........you might had a good experience but there's a better chance you won't.  

Just my 2 cents.  I learned the hard way but haven't made the same mistake twice.  Good luck.

-- Modified on 3/17/2016 8:48:20 AM

I have made my mistakes in this area as well, and so I speak from experience.  I echo many of the statements above.

1) The best providers are going to have full voicemail.  It's an unfortunate fact.  Email, or using a contact form on a reputable provider's website, works wonders.
2) I know many look at BP.  We all want to find that "diamond in the rough" - the low-cost experience of a lifetime.  I get it.  It's like looking at CL in the ww4m section, hoping and praying.  Everyone wants the gem, the UTR, the whatever.  The odds of any of that happening - well, if you were in Vegas at a table game and knew the odds of you winning were the same as any of the above happening, would you place a bet at that table?
3) Stepping up a teir - brother, you will not be disappointed.  I have tried the lower tiers (and the last time I tried was with several recommendations, and now I am swearing it off permanently), and you just can't.  If you have to save up or set aside or eat nothing but pasta for a month to get it done, do it.  People remember experiences, and a good experience is worth it.  To quote Ricky Roma, "Great meals fade in reflection"

she wanted guys to make appointments at least a day ahead of time so that she could screen them, but constantly got spur of the moment (Or as some call them: sperm of the moment.) requests.

I always make appointment well in advance, and if you keep researching, you'll find providers happy to do so as the quality providers seem to prefer that

I concur with SK058. I am not one to post too often anymore on the boards for personal and professional reasons, but number 3 on his list is very correct. You are paying for an experience. The sooner you realize that the better of time you will have!

As a part-time provider and professional in the business world, I can simply say that I would rather you have waited a few weeks/months to see a higher end lady than to be disgruntled and wish you had.  

I take great pride in my time with my friends here. I tend to shy away from the word client, as I (as the other ladies prior to my post) tend to be selective with whom I see. As a hybrid independent - meaning I have a booking agent as I do not do this full time, I am happy with who I see. Having built a solid reputation with both the ladies and gents, I do not need constant reviews. I believe each person's experience is unique to our connection together. The connection is all I strive for. For me, I find something in each and every person I spend time with to be able to connect. In the very, very rare time I do not (less than 4 people in over a year) connect with, I will actually try my hardest to point them in the direction of a lady I may know that is able to fill their desires.  

We aren't all going to be a perfect fit 100% of the time. However it is about understanding that as you are here for XYZ reason, not all ladies fit or fall into some stereotype. You are doing yourself a disservice if you believe we are all cut from the same cloth. Not to say one is better than the other, just we all have a different set of circumstances and life path.  

I wish you nothing but the best. Try to not be so disgruntled and look at the amount of people that openly and honestly took the time to respond to you about how to proceed. We are a pretty close knit and tight little group, even with those of us that do not post frequently anymore. Unless we openly say we are not accepting new friends/clients/gents or whatever the lady in question is calling you, then seek out her website. Make contact. Allow screening. Then go have the best time ever. You never know, that lady you may have assumed only saw XYZ type of clients may just be able to rock your world in a completely new and different way.  

Just my two cents.  

Good luck none the less and please stay safe!

Yours-
Christian

Something I have done a number of times when I was anticipating traveling to a new city for business;
Do your research and find someone you would really like to see-send them an email and introduce yourself, and tell a little bit little bit about yourself- then let them know that you're not looking for that day or even the next day but will give them enough advanced notice when you ARE going to be available- then, when I knew I was going to the city, and booking my flights and hotel arrangements and etc., I would again reach out to the provider (assuming I did get a response- which was almost always)  with the dates I would be in town, a little bit about when I would be available, and what would work for her.

I Treat setting up the entire encounter like I would set up any sales appointment I might have with a business client.  In my experience ladies always appreciate this and it sets the tone for a really awesome  encounter !

Im ok with last minute if easy to screen

Why do women find it strange that a man wants to get laid when he is horny and not a week from that moment...but then ..I guess men are always horn

Professionals realize that a string of bad reviews can ruin business.
The women you find on this site for the most part value there reputation in the hobby.
Even so we have all been stood up with no notice.Not only is it a waist of time and money if you booked a room it is a missed opportunity which for me is the biggest waist of all
Being one that does not go for spur of Moment best you can find on short notice appointment I would not faulting you for double booking  anyone in service industries books extra to allow for cancelled or missed appointments anyone who says different is full of it.
It's to bad ter  does not allow you to review providers who pull no show

I accept, last minute appointments 7 days a week. I don't need a soliloquy about your life and your past for you to book an appointment. I can screen a client in under 5 minutes without his knowledge and I am well reviewed. All myths DEBUNKED!!  Business is business and we are all adults. I provide a service everyday whether you book in advance or not. Its the adult entertainment industry not a meeting with POTUS! And yes I take my safety very seriously and I am beautiful and smart. If you have to jump through hoops to take part in leisure wouldn't it ruin the leisure aspect of it all???

I think it's a case of having been burned too many times by men feeling impulsive and in the mood, making arrangements, and then backing out at the last minute.  I'm sure that's happened to as many providers as it has to clients.  I mean, it happens all the time in real life any way - a friend flakes on you for an activity you planned a couple weeks ago, a blind date doesn't show up, whatever.  All discourteous and disrespectful?  One way or another and to varying degrees, yes.  Are some people over sensitive about it?  Perhaps.  But this is the nature of dealing with other people I suppose.

And men aren't always horny.  Yes, there are times we will turn down sex because we aren't in the mood.  One part of our body may say differently, but that doesn't mean much.  I can stand at attention after working 18 hours, and I can guarantee the rest of my aching, tired body and mind are going to override and make me not in the mood.  Of course, I could be a complete abnormality.