So opening day(s) did not go very well for the Twins (only team so far without a win, ouch!) I do have a solution.  Maybe they need another incentive besides their salary.  I propose the old standard we used with  male/female encounters reminiscent of the Meat Loaf tune "Paradise by the dashboard lights".  Getting to first base was just a start of all you would be rewarded with as you ran all the bases and slid in to home.  May be just what they need to get on a winning streak.  I am sure there are a number of fine ladies who would volunteer to help our struggling team out in the offense department.
As for you fine gentlemen, all you have to do is book an appointment with me and I guarantee a wonderful trip around the bases.  To cheer up all of the solemn Twins Fans, I will extend my special one more week, and even make them better.
1-hour      250                    
90 mins    350                    
2-hour      400                  
3-hour      500

Your Utility Player - Cate

Contact:

Phone:     (612) 559-9286

Email:    [email protected]

You would bring their "bats"
to life!!