I just had a VERY negative experience with a pretty reputable provider.  I take my money seriousely, and make sure a provider has good reviews before scheduling any appoitments.  I tend to leave my donation in the beginning of the meeting, and leave tipping to the end, depending on actual performance.

This was actually my second time with this provider.  The first experience was amazing, and this one was absolutely horrible.  She glanced at the table where her exact donation was, and while providing a massage, went on a narrative of how she only give "good" massages to people who tip, and how 20% tip is always expected, same as eating out in a restaurant, etc, etc, etc...

Personally, I have tipped VAST majority of the times I had an encounter.  However, I only tip after the session is over, inspired by the quality and effort put in.  Is that wrong?  The way I feel is that if tipping is expected in the beginning of the session or the "quality" goes down, then just raise your donation!

Needless to say the mood was ruined, and I told her to just stop and I left.  Not only do I feel like I was "taken", but I am also questioning whether I am correct in my conduct.  

So, how about it?  Am I wrong?

Some good places, you don't even pay till the end- just like dinning out!  I never tip first. If she is complaining she should raise her rates. A tip should never be expected IMHO. Do you tip you doctor?

No you are not wrong.  You tip, rebook, and gift ladies that perform well.  If the performance is not positive, why would you tip?

You are correct,If she wants the extra cash she should just raise her price point.What she did was nothing more than upselling.Tipping is NEVER required in any service industry,and should be given only after a job well done.IMO you did nothing wrong.

is totally unacceptable, and that's exactly what she was doing. The other unfortunate thing is that you couldn't take your money with you. You did the right thing. I would have left as well. Are you planning on a review?

Thanks for the reality check.

A full review of the experience is pending approval.

Before you got up and left did you discuss this issue you had with her and try to find out what she up to?  Did you explain that you prefer to wait to see what the quality of service is first?  Maybe she is cool with that.  Did you tip her the first 'amazing' time?  It's hard to judge when you give a seemingly one-sided story.

What she did was just another version of upselling.

I think she's off base. She should be providing excellent service tip or not. You have the final say by giving her a decent or less than adequate review

I would say there is absolutely nothing wrong in waiting until the end.  Of course there are two sides to every story, but this just sounds like poor business practice on her part at the least.  

Think about it; tipping is only strongly indicated (rather than "appreciated") for service industry workers who are paid low wages.  An escort who has complete freedom to set her rate (and is almost certainly making AT LEAST 15 times the minimum wage on an hour by hour basis) asking for a tip seems absurd.  

If you really enjoy the time I'm not against tipping of course-but being upsold in this manner (20% tip for a "good" massage as you say) is a great way to ensure that she won't be getting a tip or return visit.


-- Modified on 4/8/2009 7:53:17 PM

There have been times I have tipped the ladies a couple times in row, then one the one time I didn't she almost seemed put out. Maybe it depends on their mood and how low the funds are for them?

First of all, all cash goes into an envelope so most of the time the lady has no idea what's in it.
For good repeats, I put a small tip in the envelope before I get there. It the service exceeds my expectations, I'll add a little at the end. If it is much less then it will be a while before I will return, if I decide to return at all.

A big ditto to the gentleman.

That this girl was young and somewhat new in the business???  Bush league stuff to say something like that in the middle of the session.  You might before you totally roast her in a review write her a note explaining why you up and left...given you had a nice time with her previously.  She might just think your a jerk for doing so but I bet she'll learn not to do it anyone else.

Assuming your experience is factual-and I assume it is- why are you protecting this provider's identity? She is obviously out of line and a primary purpose of this board is assisting fellow hobbyists in shopping. I sure as hell
wouldn't want to waste my money!

IMHO you had every right to feel the way you did and this is a business you dont tip at the beginning of a service and it shouldnt be expexted. Just as in a business if you cant make an appt you should have the common courtesy to call and cancel, instead of leaving them hanging when they could of filled that time slot with another appt! Im sorry just had to add that and felt this is where i could put my 2 cents worth in!!

I have had experiences similar to what you have just had where the first time was out of this world...and the second was like who did I just see?

IMHO, a Tip should NEVER be expected. If she feels like she is worth more money then she needs to raise her rates and see how her Customers like that. She obviously views you as a customer and NOT a client based upn the way she took you for granted and how she treated you...also assuming you acted the same as your first appt with her.

The nice thing about this hobby is that you can "Voice" your opinion with your hard earned dollars as see other ladies.  Sooner or later this type of lady will realize the errors in her ways of doing business.

Thanks everyone for your comments.  To address some of your questions / concerns...

1. She is not new in the business.  (Based on what she told me during our initial encounter) She does massages in MN, and Escorts out of town for BIG bucks.

2. I am always a gentleman, and would never confront provider with an argument about fees.  I feel that in this industry, with ladies setting their own prices, there is no inherent assumption that tipping is required for "service as expected".  Perhaps it's my European upbringing, but I only tip for above-average. With the provider, while she was giving me the "speach", I was careful not to engage in a debate - I find that inappropriate and it takes away from the whole experience, even if only an erotic massage.

3. On our previous visit, I honestly do not remember if / how much I left her.  Since I did post a review and recall the experience as above-average, I have to assume that I left a tip.  Certainly not 20%, but nevertheless.  

4. I posted a review that includes a complete account of what has taken place... it's currently waiting approval.  I am not, and would not protect the identity of the provider in these instances.

Frankly, I think she is just spoiled.  She charges a huge price for a very limited menu, and no doubt has been making a nice living off of this.  However, the selfish weasel in all of us has a tendency of falling into the marter mode, feeling like we deserve a lot more, no matter how much we are already getting.  However, I would have prefered that she discuss that with me before the session began, so I would not waste my time.  Or, perhaps just raise her rates.  The truth is that if she told me up-front that her fees went up 20%, I would not see her... just not worth it for the services she is providing.  The thing I like most about our previous encounter was the whole atmosphere and perceived closeness many of us seek from a GFE.  Even with a VERY limited menu, she excelled at that during our first meetup.  This time, the atmosphere she created was that of a peep-show booth... and treated the whole encounter as a cheap call-girl.  Oh well, it's her loss.  Of course, I am sorry to part with $200 for nothing, but I feel that as long as she treats her patrons this way this will ultimately lose more...

Yes, I am still a little bitter, but I will get over it.  All I need is a great GFE to clear my head.  

Not exactly

My .02

Being in the "service" industry for as long as I have.
I have this mindset.

Tipping is NEVER asked for but, much appreciated as far as being an indie goes.

It is different if the lady works for someone because they pay an hourly fee.So
They gotta make up the difference but sometimes it gets a little harsh on the upsell I've heard.

My Price is NEVER negotiated or discussed.

If you are open minded or curious about that then say so before hand, prior to the arrival time.
Nothing kills the mood more than someone who haggles during a session .
It's also very tacky IMHO
This is not a fleemarket OR a GOB sale.LOL :p


For those seeking the holy grail
Never expect to get $$$$$ service from a gal that only charges $.
That's just setting yourself up for  some kind of disappointment in not getting what you really wanted in the first place.
We are not mind readers either .

When I go out to eat somewhere or get a mani/pedi etc..
I always tip at least 20% providing I had excellent service.
If it was so-so I leave 10 to 15%
If it was horrible I go right to the manager.

What provider says
"I only give good massages to people who tip"?
I have NEVER in 14 years heard of a lady doing that before now.

UM.... that's a bit rude of her to do you like that.

I really doubt a WELL KNOW provider would say that out right to a client of hers.
Let alone a regular one.
"I only give good massages to the ones that tip"?
That just doesn't sound right or very smart.
If that's some BS like you're trying to ruin some girls reputation for whatever reason.
Better be prepared to be ripped a new one for sure.

I read your review, and I have to say I'm surprised -- I've seen her many times and have never experienced anything even remotely like that, despite never leaving a 20% tip.  I've probably seen her at least 10 times and have tipped her maybe half of those times.  And my experiences with her have never been less than amazing.

Why don't I tip all the time?  A couple reasons.  One, she's independent, so she sets her own rates and doesn't have to share with anyone else.  So the analogy to a server at a restaurant is flawed -- the better analogy would be to a salon owner, whom as I understand it you are also not expected to tip.  Two, at least when I started seeing her, she offered different tiers of service at different price points -- so I figured the price differentials represented tip levels and further tips were not expected.

Anyway, based on what you said (not having heard her side of the story), I don't think you are wrong.  She certainly could have handled the situation a lot better -- for example, gently suggesting a tip at the end of the session.  Ranting during the session was pretty uncalled for.  I would have left too.