Perhaps not rules, but protocols.  Twice I've been lambasted on this board for providing what I thought was good information.  It mainly came from a certain individual who shall remain nameless.  But still appears to be a "Richard".

So what is the deal here on TER?  If I attempt to warn the community of what I know, don't do it here?  Already know about outing someone.

Some lurkers have legit questions.  But coming on here to ask is likely to result in persons like MNjonny discourageing the notion

BTW: Vorlon....when I went VIP to get the messages.......ALL were wanting to know who.  I did not answer anyone

And I can't recall exactly who said what.  One of the problems I see in deciding whether or not to believe a given piece of information is that because what we do here is mostly done "in the shadows" so to speak; it can be very difficult to get hard data that everyone can see and have confidence in.  You may something that is absolutely true but it is difficult to independently verify that and so much of how other people react depends on how credible they think you are, which for me is largely based on someone's review and posting history.  If your reputation is that what you say is reasonable and well thought out then you are more credible than if you shoot from the hip and make inflammatory statements.

I think it would be wise to chose your words carefully before posting something that could be controversial.  And I also think it would be wise when reacting to someone's posts if the responders were also careful in the words they choose.  And there are some people who are just going to react badly to certain posts, particularly if they are critical of their favorite provider.  Say what you want to say but do so diplomatically, keep your cool, and keep in mind that sometimes people are going to look at your posts and think "should I believe this or not?"

I've learned the hard way that sometimes you have to take a step back & a deep breath and think before you hit the post button.  I also find that some people on the board here just like to "stir the pot" so to speak, which is ok, it is what it is.  Then again sometimes it's just safer and easier to be quiet and just read responses.  Although, I do feel strongly that if you have info that is appropriate, reliable and credible and it would be benefit the "community" in general then you should not be afraid to post it.  After all that's what this board is for!

Good luck & be safe.....

Buck

..The OP is upset with me because I called him out on his most recent posting, but it had happened before, (see the thread in the link).  Vorlon's advice is simple and to the point.  Once a poster gains credibility on this board, their posts become credible and thus the reader of the information shared can have some measure of confidence that the info is accurate.  This kind of posting credibility only comes with time.  For the record I have no animosity toward the OP.  My concern is that controversial information about specific providers or hobbyists be at least demonstrably true before being posted.

Is paved with "good intentions"

I was so furious after I read that other post I replied to it not thinking it was posted in June of last year..
But my opinion doesnt change, I think the OP  si looking to stir the pot..

Its one thing to reference a news article and post a link to it ,, its a whole other ball game when you play the ,, Well I didnt want to say anything but,,
OR I have emails to back it up , again emails texts, messages can be doctored when forwarding them..

Anytime I hear " A certain individual who shall rename nameless"
I hear, well Ill tell a few people in quiet as long as they swear not to tell anyone else, and then BOOM its all over.. ITs like painting a big sign on you that says ATTENTION WHORE, and ill tell anyone who asks me in private,

For the record nothing , you can say all you want that you didnt tell anyone , why should we believe you..

And before you start dropping MNJonny and Vorlon in your posts, why dont you scroll through and go back and back through the forums and see that they have been a huge help to the community and for the most part have the communities best interest at heart, so when one of them says something you should listen...

I on the other hand think the whole "Good Samaritan" card you are playing in a facade and your intentions are insidious..

Have a wonderful evening

~Cat , meow meow

that you are a busy-body with not much else to do.  You made the post that was pulled more controversial Richard.  Perhaps I should have been less PC by just saying straight out....Dick-head.  You've done this before and have been called out for it.  I don't like you!  Are you the grand savior of the hobby world?  Dicks like you keep people with something to offer from participating in this public forum.  And WHY?

Flame wars are boring to everyone except the trolls who sell popcorn and take perverse pleasure in wasting everyone's time. Sometimes the thing to do is type up what you think, leave it sitting on the screen, and come back a couple hours later to consider whether you really accomplish anything by posting it. Your statements certainly seem sincere. Hell, I don't always agree with everything mnjohnny says. But calling him names because you don't like him does nothing to increase your credibility. Or perceived maturity.

This "credibility" stuff is nonsense.  TER protects providers as much as it provides a service for hobbyists.  People would do well to keep that in mind I believe.  

If a guy comes along and has a truly bad experience with a provider who has some reviews, TER can and will refuse to print a bad review, taking the word of the provider over the reviewer.  

I can not speak to the accuracy of this latest issue, but it's not new in my time of occasionally checking in here.  Newbies that have trouble right off the bat--who then try to legitimately warn others--get harassed by members who think their input is worthless cause they only have a review or two.  

 

Don't know about you but I can't read minds. I can't look at a post from a guy I never met and just know if he is telling the truth. Maybe there's an iTruth app from Apple that you can point at a sentence and it'll blink green for true, but I carry an android.

Voltaire is my watchword, "Anything is possible in this best of all possible worlds." You can't rule anything out, so you have to look to the probabilities. When I was a freshman in high school, a new kid moved to town and started telling everyone he fucked a varsity cheerleader. And his questions were "wanna know who she is?" and "wanna know how we did it?" No one believed him. It was ... um ... a credibility issue.

I missed the recent thread so cannot speak to it, but I've reviewed the 2012 thread mnjohnny linked to. A poster with no posts and no reviews says he contacted "a rather well-known and well-reviewed provider" (hereinafter RWKWRP) and right off the bat requested BBFS. The RWKWRP did not immediately terminate the conversation when a complete stranger with no history began discussing specific sexual acts, though she did decline. Momentarily. Until she reconsidered and a few days later "She started to pursue ME!" offering BBFS in exchange for an increased donation (to a complete stranger with no history). In just a few short sentences the RWKWRP violated every dictum of verification, communication, etiquette and hygiene. And the poster's questions were "waddaya think about that, guys?" and "wanna know who she is?"

Now, as I see the same poster declaring "I don't like you 'cuz you're a dick-head!" I get a strong whiff of high school.

I don't think this credibility stuff is nonsense.

Just post a review and end it there. Obviously, anyone can say anything here and it could be purely harmful, spiteful, malicious lies.

Aerosmith went: "Oh, good morning Mr. Tyler. Going Down?"
FloRida went: "Can you blow my whistle baby, whistle baby"
And you gave the equivalent of "Suck my dick"

If BBFS bothered you that much you should of just made mention of it in a review. A simple "I don't know if this is normal but I was offered BBFS but kindly refused" would've been just as effective and when the white knights were called to arms you could've of just said "YMMV"

On another note, credibility is everything.

How do you determine when a newbie who posts some sort of warning is telling the truth?  I've seen any number of occasions over the years when a new handle shows up and proceeds to bash certain people.  Given that, why shouldn't we be cautious about accepting the word of newbie?  I certainly didn't expect people to just take my word for it when I was new;  I understood it would take time for me to become credible.

Back in June, I came on here as a newbie poster seeking advice on how to accomplish a task on how to handle a certain situation.  Being a conversation board, I did not expect to be greeted with what I perceived as negative retort that questioned whether if I had a legit situation.  The intent was to ask HOW to handle it.  After all….if it was felt that I was starting crap, then anyone could certainly ignore me.  I did get a PM that told me that the board could be rough and opinionated but she did recognized my true intent.  It was a provider whom we all know.

I will take the advice of Geronimo and let this thing go.  It was wrong of me to lash out at mnjonny.  I did take his comments personally, and I should not have.  I still don’t agree with “board policing”.  A case in point was when someone actually admitted to having had a post removed because he thought that it was inappropriate.  I learned a lot from that particular post, and thought it inappropriate to initiate its removal because HE thought it inappropriate.  I do agree with bluwoodsman that it sometimes seems that this board is not newbie-friendly, and one must be one of the “good ole boys” here to avert being beat up.  Credibility?  Well!  I don’t have 101 reviews written, but that doesn’t make my observations and opinions any less credible.  As mentioned…..anyone can simply ignore me, or take me with a grain of salt.  Chastising me or “calling me out” is, I think, even more inappropriate.

I guess that I won’t be visiting Sweetgrendolyn or curvycat anytime at all.  For those who missed the post that I made that was removed……..it was my clumsy attempt (so it seems) to inform the community that my name and info was made public to LE, and that I was contacted by them.  I was dumb and "newbieish" to have given my real name and employment info.  I was then pyscho-analyzed by a white knight for bringing up the fact that I had been contacted, and was called a few names.  I took that personally.

You can ignore any warning or words from me if you believe that it’s not credible.  No need for personal attacks from others or me.  I was wrong to have engaged in that.  I will seriously consider when to post here, and how to phrase whatever I have to say in the future.

The best providers in Minnesota read the boards.  You are battling all these men, unsuccessfully, when you're simultaneously annihilating your chances with the best here.  It's more than just choosing your words wisely with the dudes here; it's choosing if you really want to spend the rest of your hobbying days only able to see backpage-only gals who don't check the boards.

This is all about a certain hobby that we love.  If you were into models, would you go to your favorite store and destroy stuff there?  No.  You cherish the models... We are an amazing group of women who have offered the best of ourselves to you, and you want more: asking for BBFS or throwing your stuff without any thought to how you are destroying your chances with the best this hobby has to offer.

The ladies do read this board, even if they don't post here.
This board can be very rough on people. Its happened to me. Choose your words wisely. I'm still trying to recover from my mistakes here and elsewhere that have affected my status with the best ladies MN has to offer.

Listen, children, to a story That was written long ago About a Kingdom on a mountain And a valley folk down below
On the mountain was a treasure Buried deep beneath a stone And the valley people swore They'd have it for their very own
Go ahead and hate your neighbor Go ahead and cheat a friend Do it in the name of heaven You can justify it in the end
But there won't be any trumpets blowing Come the judgment day On the bloody morning after One tin soldier rides away
So the people of the valley Sent a message up the hill Asking for the buried treasure Tons of gold for which they'd kill
Came an answer from the Kingdom ”With our brothers, we will share All the riches of our mountain All the secrets buried there”
Now the valley swore with anger ”Mount your horses, draw your swords” And they killed the mountain people So they won their just rewards
Now stood beside the treasure On the mountain dark and red Turned the stone and looked beneath it ”Peace on Earth”, was all it said

You are a vet at this Vorlon, I suspect you have seen it all so could understand my position.    

My first review was prompted by a bad experience that I thought I'd like to pass on-- of a cash and dash where the dasher said she has a local LEO friend/protector just in case I entertained any thoughts of chasing after her--was denied by TER.  In fact my anger led me to find TER which I thought was a great way to warn others!

And then I noticed several other almost as bad reviews of the same provider which were posted at the time--but then magically disappeared.  The only conclusion one could make--since TER provided no reasonable explanation--is that TER ran with the providers disputing those reviews and refused to publish and/or removed them.  

And today that provider is on a march up to 400 reviews and a quite good rating!  

That being my first experience with TER--followed by watching a string of newbies get berated and bashed just because they are new--leads me to be cautious about accepting--OR disputing--anyone's warnings!

I have no idea what the original issue was, as is often the case it appears TER deleted everything so there's no way for people who don't man the boards 24/7 to know.  Perhaps the guy responded very poorly.  I don't know who he was calling out either....but the fact that he doesn't have many reviews shouldn't mean it's OK to berate or openly question his honesty and desire to point out what he sees as a problem to others.

Stay safe!  

Exactly!