Wow, you're expecting a lot of blind trust from the ladies if you won't even give them references. You are right about there being bad apples in both bunches that ruin it for everyone else. What you don't seem to get is that there is a lot of information on and you can weed out most of the the ladies, you want them to just trust that you're not some psycho. We are not just talking about stalkers and LE, ladies have been beaten, even killed, you really think they should just open the door to anyone who knocks?
As I said earlier, if the lady wants more information than you want to give, move on. This is your choice, why are you mad? I would not see a lady that does not screen, it is a way to protect them and protecting them protects me.
Again JMHO
Have tried several calls have no references. Dont want to go through backpage with all that I have read in the discussion boards. Any Providers that can help me out? Is that what a meet and greet is for.
You might also consider joining P411 or something similar; it is a referral service.
Thx. Will look into P411 see about joining there.
However, you will have better luck finding a lady who will be comfortable without them.
-- Modified on 4/19/2012 12:30:05 AM
The whole reference/newbie/p411 ect. thing has been discussed and beaten to death.
First, there is nothing inherently wrong with Backpage. Some of the more highly recommended escorts on TER advertise there and have for years. But, of course, there are bad apples as well. I think it is important to read the TER review section about particular providers, rather than just lump them all together as backpage baddies.
If you see someone on Backpage that you think you might enjoy, and she has reasonable TER reviews, more than likely you can see her with just a phone call.
If you want to jump through the hoops with the "need reference" group, then it is going to be difficult to see them. But, those few who require references, though they may be very prominent here on TER, are among the minority in the escort world.
I have no experience with the p411 type businesses, but I am pretty sure that I am not going to give out my exact and true particulars to an on-line group that is aiding me to perpetrate an illegal act. That, in my opinion, is thinking with the wrong head.
Remember, what is put into a computer data base stays there forever. But, then I suppose if you are not planning a career with The Secret Service it might work for you....
I agree with Real. No disrespect to the ladies who ask for personal information, and if they
are successful doing that, more power to them, but why would anyone (hobbyist or provider)
give each other their last name or place of employment or any other personal information?
And that goes for the date check type businesses too. I don't understand why anyone would do that. If the lady you want to see asks for personal info and you're ok with it, then go for it.
It's just not something I would do....there are ways to get started in the hobby without divulging
personal info, and once you've seen a few providers who might be nice enough to vouch for
you, you will be good to go. And yes, there are some providers who you will not be able to see
because they require your personal info and are principled enough not to make any exceptions (believe me I've tried because there are some nice ones! Lol) but knowing that, it's your decision to make.
many providers are newbie friendly, myself included. But, be prepared to be screened. Reputable providers would likely ask for your FULL NAME (first and last name), city of residence, age, and employment info.
To attend a meet & greet, you would also likely be asked to provide the same screening information.
Hope this helps, Belinda
Why are so many providers thinking its ok to ask where I work??? That's not something I will ever let one know cause it could get end up getting me fired. I have seen many posts one here about spouses learning about hubbys hobbying habbits from a provider etc. Dude be careful what info you share and with whom.
To attend a meet & greet, you would also likely be asked to provide the same screening information.
Hope this helps, Belinda
If the lady asks for information you're not willing to provide just move on. They have to be careful and they have to screen well enough to make themselves comfortable that you are say you are. We're not just talking about LE there are some crazy people out there and she has a right to ask for anything that she feels is needed to be safe. You have a right to give or not give any information you choose, if she needs info you're not comfortable giving move on.
JMHO
I don't divulge much info to providers hence many Id like to see are not on my list to see. I refuse to let them know where I work or who were the last 3 providers I saw. This leaves a trail back to me and these are things I feel are my own business. Whats next my SSN and bank account numbers too??? LE and the stalkers have made screening go to far and based on a friends experience getting totally burned and some posts I've see on this board over the years I think the least a provider knows the better for both parties. There are bad apples in both bunches that ruin it for everyone else.
Wow, you're expecting a lot of blind trust from the ladies if you won't even give them references. You are right about there being bad apples in both bunches that ruin it for everyone else. What you don't seem to get is that there is a lot of information on and you can weed out most of the the ladies, you want them to just trust that you're not some psycho. We are not just talking about stalkers and LE, ladies have been beaten, even killed, you really think they should just open the door to anyone who knocks?
As I said earlier, if the lady wants more information than you want to give, move on. This is your choice, why are you mad? I would not see a lady that does not screen, it is a way to protect them and protecting them protects me.
Again JMHO
EVERY day, I hear about men who force BB, rape, rob, beat and even kill providers. LE is a concern, of course, but these other things happen too. Providers have no recourse unless they have the personal information of the gents she is seeing.
These things have happened right here in MN to providers I am friendly with. Screening is a providers ONLY way to protect herself and her body. And, if a client did any of these things to me, I am going to LE.......not his wife and not his boss.
Is screening foolproof? Of course not, but, if I actually KNOW who I am inviting into my private space when I am most vulnerable, then perhaps he will be on his best behavior. Providers have just as much to lose as hobbyists do. There are some providers who would use your information against you but considering the vast number of providers out there, they are a small percentage who would do that.
Patrico, you have 12 reviews so, I, personally, would not ask for your employment information. In your case, it simply is not needed, IMHO.
Providers have the right (and the responsibility to themselves) to do what it takes for them to feel safe. And, as someone else said, gents have the right to refuse any information they are not comfortable giving. If you do not wish to give certain information, then offer some other way to verify you. Otherwise, as already stated, move on to another gal.
The guy who started the post was asking for newbie friendly providers. So are there any out there? The only few I have seen had ads on Backpages which he wanted to avoid.
But, my safety is important to me, so I will ask for screening information.
I can understand not telling an escort where I work but I'm puzzled about why you wouldn't want someone to know who the last 3 providers you saw were. IMHO, provider references are one of the best ways to pass screening.
You don't have to give ANYTHING to her/us you don't want to give up.
If they want to ask for where you work they can and should. WHY? 1. Because they can. 2. Because they can. 3. Because they can.
Did I mention because they can?
It goes without saying with giving out ANY info you give not just your work info that if you don't trust her or don't think you can DON'T BOTHER to see her. Another crazy idea I know.
To attend a meet & greet, you would also likely be asked to provide the same screening information.
Hope this helps, Belinda
If you (or anyone) find that you are running into providers that want to know where you work, As part of their screening process, take a look at even though you have written reviews, none of the people that you have reviewed have "whitelisted" you. There is nothing wrong with you asking a provider that you have seen to whitelist you. Many providers do not know that they can do this without themselves having a VIP membership even. To do this you click on reviews then click on the search whitelist link. Enter the username. The provider clicks on the "submit referral" button which lets others that does a search on your username that you provider has actually seen you. When I personally see someone has several whitelist referrals by Reputable providers on TER, that's just as good as P411 as far as I'm concerned. And I do mean reputable, not somebody that has one review, and then whitelist that reviewer.....That would be a red flag for me personally and would not "pass" my screening requirements.
Portia
To attend a meet & greet, you would also likely be asked to provide the same screening information.
Hope this helps, Belinda
...some men are ok with providing it. And there are various plausible reasons why a lady may ask for work info. If she is part-time, perhaps she does not want to see men who work at the same company as her.
As a provider, I can tell you that your screening info is not that valuable in the grand scheme of things. I know it feels like it is, but after the verification process is complete, there is no use for it. Last I heard, ladies can be charged for attempting to extort a client. And even if she was silly enough to have said desire, most likely her clients have seen her license plate number or know other personal info about her (home address if used for incall, etc). This is especially true for ladies who have been doing this for years, so there is mutual respect to protect our information as well.
The best thing is to see ladies whose screening process is compatible with your comfort level.
Good luck!
Logical or not, it does happen. But you are correct that not every provider-hobbyist combo will agree on acceptable forms of screening so we just have to find the ladies that we are compatible with.