First let me say this doesn't apply to any of the provider's I've reviewed.    It comes instead from reading the reviews of others in which the responses border on the unbelievable.  You know, five squirting orgasms in the span of 30 minutes of actual sex.  Stuff like that.

In civie sex I've always urged them to be honest if what I am doing is pleasurable, neutral, or annoying.  In provider work I don't expect them to be actually in to it ... not that being pleasant about it, even if disinterested, isn't nice and mood inducing.  But over-acting out of a desire to please actually has the opposite effect.  It would move me into the world of the absurd and out of the animal sexual mood.

And besides in any case, as I think I saw someone quote on this forum somewhere, "After 30, everyone is responsible for their own orgasm."  If she's not going to have an O, that's fine with me.  That's honest.  Considering the artificiality of the situation, it's no threat to my ego.

So back to diplomacy.  I wonder if there is a way to broach this before the meeting (probably a mood killer if you mention it at the meeting place.)  Plus there is the possibility they will take this as a request to fake that they aren't faking -- which then really proves what a great lover I am.

Of course the whole encounter requires some acting, I mean they would probably prefer to be home clipping their toenails.  But there is a fine line between a minimalist pleasantry and a theater-in-the park performance.

I'd prefer to avoid being induced into the wrong kind of laughing, a real mood killer.  I'm trying to think of a way to avoid that future potential

There are many provides, myself included, that actually want to enjoy what they are doing. When you are booking a provider just explain that you genuinely want her to enjoy herself as well. When you get there you can ask her what she likes, how where to touch etc that way it's not awkward. I've had someone tell me not to fake anything and I'm like okay I'm going to give you some directions then. It worked out perfectly fine.

Ok I understand what you're saying but I'm slightly confused by some of your phrasing, so let me start off talking about myself for a sec.  

First off -I'm lucky to be a girl w/good amount of sexual anatomy ( I don't wanna get too graphic ) so I'll just say what used to really bother me at 19 & 20 I've now come to appreciate A LOT! I'll say- I've never really had to point anything out  

          This- along with excepting my body- flaws & all (that itself was a journey) these things have led me to truly enjoy sex, sexuality, touching, texture & orgasm ....in such stronger, more satisfying ways then when I was younger...
                                             
I've always been the curious type & have learned so much about men since discovering  
"the hobby" I've always been confused by men's primal sex drive (at times a little jealous) I now feel like I completely understand that drive...

that feeling of being touched & letting every other thought just leave my mind, concentrating on pleasure...I've even joked w/friends that my girl parts have a mind of there own lately  

anyway I guess I'm saying this, you really have no idea what kind of sexual journey another person is on -or where they are in it.
That's why communication is KEY....as w/anything right.

     Just saying that you appreciate genuine real encounters says it all.  
I'm confused by what you're saying about "clipping toenails?"
What- why would I ever RATHER be doing that? lol .... You are funny (you can laugh at this which always shows so much too)

 
Its a great post -entertaining & I love the whole "theater-in-the park performance" comment too....  
               

Anyway I think I know exactly what you are asking advice about, but I also think you're over thinking it & adding in some pre conceived ideas- that aren't accurate for everyone -depending-

 for instance- I don't know how yet.....(& believe I mean YET)...but I've been practicing learning the art of squirting & if I ever figure it out..... do you really think some guy who's clean, respectful & down for some fun -is going to play into my mind to the point where if I don't like what he's  wearing or his hairy chest... Will that stop me from having a great time?

(& maybe showing off a little, excited by my new found pleasure and abilities)

 HELL NO...

many of us can cum & enjoy doing so as much as possible, does it really matter if it's ALL you that gets us into that mind frame or a thought or two from our own fantasies....maybe it does matter who knows...

        As far as the "artificiality" of the situation, I disagree- nowadays the hobby is where I've found the most truth & real-ness  
  With outlined expectations, & no putting on a false personality for a month or two till I get where & what I want.

when we meet I'm sober, not in a bar or fixed up by a friend...whatever happens between us is between two consenting adults & for me anyway that in itself is a great start at keeping it real!  

Sorry I went on & on....can you tell I just had my morning caffeine lol  

Have a great Saturday!  

 

 
What does this even mean? "they will take this as a request to fake that they aren't faking" -- Modified on 4/16/2016 11:59:16 AM

What used to help out a lot was the menu page of P411 before they had to get vague.
It was set by the provider and used all the acronyms so the was not much guessing as to the menu that was most always available if respectfull and clean.
Now there are a lot of blanks to fill in but with the well reviewed providers here in MPLS between their websites and reviews you probably have a pretty good Idea of what an encounter would be

I agree with Jaswan. I was about to respond similarly. Especially on the first date, or with a touring woman, it is hard to describe preferences prior without offending them.  I don't mean raunchy "I'm want to Peter North spray you!...LOL  ... but minor things, even cuddling or kissing.  Mindy, I love your response! But, I assume popular providers like yourself are busy with real life, providing, responding to e-mails, date requests, some have other jobs...etc.

So I think he's saying it's awkward to say/send an e-mail and expect you to remember: "OK BigJoeJ..likes (whatever it might be)..." Right?

It's a fine line neither wants to cross.

P.S. ~ Mindy also makes a good point. Gotta go 30+  ... SO much better!!

Just my opinion...

-- Modified on 4/16/2016 12:54:54 PM

... is to let the provider know at an appropriate time during our first date that I know I'm going to have a great time and I'd love it if she enjoyed our time together also, and I'm glad to do my part to help her have fun so let me know what I can do on that score.  And then see where the conversation goes from there.  

Something I have to be careful of, because I'm a Pleaser, is that most providers I know are Pleasers, and they really enjoy pleasing their clients. So I need to remember that often the best thing I can do to make the date fun for the provider is let her do whatever she wants with me... not that I mind that.  

One thing I make clear is that I am NOT on a mission to make her cum. If that happens, great. If it doesn't, no problem. I've been told by some providers who like to be honest with their clients that they often have to fake an O or two because the client is hell-bent on making them cum.  I think not being under pressure to cum helps the providers be genuine with their reactions.  

A true story about that:  one time I was touching a provider in a way that she figured was to help her cum. She told me that she didn't think she was going to be able to O that day. I really appreciated her honesty. I asked her if what I was doing felt good, or if she'd like to do something else.  She said it felt great, so I continued, with no destination in mind except to focus on the feeling of caressing her and watching her face and body relax. Then all of a sudden--O!  It surprised both of us.  


-- Modified on 4/16/2016 2:54:03 PM

Lots of well thought out answers!  Thanks everyone.

What I meant by "faking not faking it" was that if you hint that you don't need them to over-act, they might take it as a criticism of and challenge to their acting ability and they'll double down (i.e. insist that no, it really was the greatest squirt since Moses parted the Red Sea.)

And to repeat, I am not there to make them cum (and I don't view them as being there to make me cum.)  I view it as sort of a mutual narcissistic pursuit, every man or woman for themselves -- if you think you can cum that session, go for it

Laughing at my jokes is one way to stroke my ego.  You go to the top of the list.  

Once you have seen her, or at least have gotten far enough in the festivities for both of you to be completely comfortable then that would be the time to bring this up.

You need to do homework and then meet first. After a first successful meeting you can then discuss specifics/fantasies for later meetings. Just go with the flow on the first meet and be cool, respectful, blah blah.

Welcome back cock ninja

-- Modified on 4/17/2016 3:44:43 AM

I hope you are in proper uniform for newbie shaming -- a black leather corset and a riding crop.  

END OF MESSAGE

but others are not.  I was one who could have an orgasm without being touched anywhere.  I could literally think myself into a mind-blowing orgasm.  I OFTEN had mind-blowing orgasms. Things are a bit different now that I am 51.  Ahhhhhh to be 48 again!!!!!!!!!!!!

No two women will have the same bodily reactions to the same sexual stimuli.  You will be able to tell if she is really enjoying it.  Her face and chest will be flush.  Her muscles (vaginal and other muscles) will tense.  Her breathing will slow just prior to orgasm.  So, have fun seeing what works for each lady!!  

To answer your question, be forthright but polite.  Most ladies would not be offended by such a request.

-- Modified on 4/17/2016 1:32:45 PM

Sorry you had issues with somebody in the past.  My postings here are always intended to be taken with humor -- sarcastic maybe, but humor none the less.