A question for the ladies... I have a coworker (actually she works at a different location but same company as I). She is really hot and I think she has an Eros ad and I can't be sure it's her. I would like to see her but if it is really her I'm unsure how she would react. Now the question for the ladies. If this happened to you would you go ahead with the appointment no questions asked and not bring it up  (act as though you were strangers) or would this make you feel uncomfortable first learning your little secret is out and second working with the hobbyist? For the hobbyist's would this make you uncomfortable. BTW the reason I would want to persue is because she is hot but risk vs reward in case it is her or if it's not what fun this cutie would be. I fully understand the discretion thing. It would be really nice to figure out if it is her or not. For discretion purposes I will not include the link or disclose her stage name sorry.

It just might be me but my privacy - particularly when it comes to this hobby - is very important.  The more people who know about it, the more likely it'll get out.

You'll probably want to keep this hobby secret, too.  How would you feel if one or two of your co-workers asked you about it?  How will the women you work with feel if they find out?

She'd probably prefer keeping the secret ID going, too.  I mean, if one of her co-workers knows what she does on the side, how many more do?  How much hassle - real and feared - would she face at work?

Keep this secret to yourself.  She probably has something going on behind the scenes, something requiring some serious scratch, and potentially losing her day job could screw things up.

if you both have the need for secrecy, sounds like a standoff and a real rush

It's too risky.  Hell I'd panic if I ran into a provider at a bar or something.  Coworker is too risky.  You'll probably feel awkward and definitely feel tempted to share this juicy tidbit with somebody.  How are you going to keep a straight face in the office?

It may be bad advice, but I think I would try to make an appointment.  When you call act like you have not met her (In truth you don't know its her).  I would be honest and not try to make up a false identity.  Now if she recognizes you she may not agree to the appointment (thats the chance you take and better than having her show up a think you deceived her).  
No matter what; ( If she does not make an appointment with you.   Shows up but won't go through with the appointment.  You have a great time doing the things you dreamed of doing with her.)  You have to be completly discreet at work.  You can't tell anyone who MAY know her.  When at work I would not even talk to her about it.  If you want to make another appointment call her provider number, like any other customer.
Thats my $.02

All good thoughts so far. That is my delema. I can agree with seeing her and also not seeing her. Think about it from a different way. If this were a line ad with no picture and you showed up for the appointment and discovered each others secret unknowingly. I would really like to hear from some ladies thoughts. Have you ever run into a man and the been introduce to him "again" by one of your girl friends? Have you ever met a neighbor / parent of one of your children ect. unknowingly? How would you handle this.

Bengal mentioned that he would panic if he ran into a provider in a bar.  I have run into clients a couple of times out in public.  One man was probably with his wife from what I could guess. We looked right at each other and didn't exchange any knowing glances or smiles or winks or anything and then he left with his woman. I think they had planned to stay but he must have made an excuse to leave to respect my privacy and make it easy for me to avoid him.  

It's best in public to do just that. Don't over react or act guilty and please don't act as if you know me and say hi to me. I won't say hi to you either as for all I know you have a date in the bathroom or I might also.

In most cases the hobbyists and the providers have two separate worlds and you never know which world they are in so please just avoid each other and if you do end up being "introduced" to a provider out in public, because you happen to know her neighbors or something, please be discreet and especially be discreet about anything you might learn about her such as her real name (if she uses an alias) etc.  

One last comment:  Someone said something like..."She must do this because she has serious problems behind the scenes and needs the money.....".   I think it is a pretty common misconception that providers do this out of desperation or because they are messed up or something.  It may be true but for me and MANY others who really like doing this, it's a lot of fun and it's financially rewarding and something that is chosen not forced on us.  If you are seeing providers who don't like doing this, are desperate for the cash and don't love the physical contact, maybe you should look for one that does...

Come on, this is what we all want. To do the neighbor's wife, the boss's secretary, the UPS girl (yeah ours is really hot).  We all fantasize that the attractive milf in the cubicle next to us is actually a nimpho and probably doesn't wear any panties under that dress.

Is your girl married?  That's even hotter. I would do it in a heartbeat.  There's actually less risk than the providers who insist on verification of your employment, who call you back at your office phone number to verify you. If it works, you have a symbiotic relationship going - you share a secret that neither has a motivation for outing.  The downsides are: 1) she will eventually stop seeing you, 2) she freaks out and quits her job out of fear and its your fault (unlikely) 3) she's also doing her boss and has him/her get you fired 4) she's got less to lose than you and decides to blackmail you.  

But I would still do it.  If you don't its gonna eat you up wondering.  An alternative might be to have a friend check her out first.  PM me - I'll be happy to be your point man.  

Something like this actually happend to me a few years back when I ran an branch of a former employer in Florida.  I ran across an ad in the local night life paper for escort services.  This publication allows biz card size photo ads.  There was my admin assistant with her face hidden by her hair. (I knew from a tattoo she forgot to hide)  Now what to do huh?  In this case I knew a lot about her - she was going to school and holding down a full-time job.  It was well known that she was bi-sexual as well.  I decided to let hew know that I knew.  She was first embarrassed but I assured her it would stay a secret.  I also learned she was doing it to make an extra $500 a month to cover her tuition.  I made a deal with her for the $500 and she became my exclusive mistress for a year.  Even had a couple of threesomes with her girlfriends.  We had fun in the office after the place was closed for the evening as well.  How many of you can play boss/secretary looking at the view out your 10'th floor window while she gives you a blow job or have her spreadeagled on your desk while you munch below her fabulously blonde and well manicured bush.

-- Modified on 7/22/2006 9:08:50 AM

-- Modified on 7/22/2006 9:10:17 AM

post a link and depending on how hot she is, it would be worth it.

You are correct in every sense of the word.
While its true for most in the hobby, in my case
I have no fears, or hang ups about running into
a provider in public, I have nothing to hide.
I am who I am, but for respect for the other party,
I am mindful that it may not be the same for
her.
In your case, Wendy, I could not help but drool
a little on myself if I were to see you in public,
and of course, I would probably take a chance to
make eye contact with you, just to sneak a peak
at your beautiful eyes! Not to mention the rest
of you as well. But that is all normal male
behavior, correct?
So no harm done, if you were with someone, you
could easily dismiss it as, well another horn dog had to get a look at the package.
If someone were angered by this, well I have to
pled insanity! because don't you know,
I am Crazy about Women! Wendy, you fit into that
category quite well!

Aweeeee your too sweet Trooper and you know how to get ahold of me!
Thanks for helping me clarify my point. I agree! I don't object to MOST normal male behavior...lol. It's better to look like anyone would as you said than freak out and make a scene

What is your take on this. How would you handle setting up an appointment and then reconizing the gentleman. Would you go forward and treat him as any other of decline. It's clear his secret would be safe with you requardless of your choice. But providers are people to and they do have lives outside the buisness, so some of their aquaintances maybe in the hobby and neither suspect the other to be. All of a sudden oppps !!! I am intrested to know how you and any other prividers/hobbyist would handle this. There are no right or wrong answers so no-one should be flamed. In her (co-worker look alike) case I may know in advance and would love to take the plunge but unsure on her response. I would love for someone to take the point on this but I would have to devulge both her info/company and my own and this would expose her or at least her info if not her. So sorry but depending on the responses I may take the plunge and keep you posted

Reo it.

Agreed.

At a former employer, we had a 20 or so year old hottie working for us as an admin assistant, and she made no excuses for the fact that she was a dancer to get through school, and she was sexy as all hell in a very conservative sort of way.  

To make a long story short I called a citypages ad and lo and behold it was her behind the door!

After a few very awkward moments, we decided that we're both adults and got down to business.  What a business!!!!  Seems she'd gotten screwed over by her ex-housemate, and didn't want to lose her new house, so a date or two a month made up the difference.

I didn't do like fornic8ter did and fess up the cash for a mistress (although I surely would have), I couldn't afford it.  But I definitely helped her out with the mortgage a few more times!  

We're still friends 10 years down the road.  She stopped providing after a year or so when she got a better paying job, and that was that.

As for running into providers in public, most ladies seem to exercise a lot of discretion.  I've run into a few anywhere from a nice restaraunt to Wal-Mart, and have never had any problems with my now wife meeting with any of my "colleagues".  Thanks God for the consulting business.

It's weird at first, but be adult about it and it'll all be just fine.

Just my two pennies on the matter.

Enjoy

M

If I was contacted by someone I knew, say a colleague at work and I discovered who it was before he showed up in person I would decline the date for a couple of reasons. First is because while I would certainly respect and even admire him for seeking fun times with women, I couldn't take the risk that he would feel the same about me. Remember the attitude that was posted earlier in this conversation that someone who is doing what I do must have reasons that she "needs" to do this as obviously no one would CHOSE this? So I don't want anyone I work with or know to know about this for that reason firstly.  Secondly, I could never know for sure that others wouldn't know because boys talk around the water cooler.  Even if they think they are helping me out, Like....Somebody says..."I really need a date....."  And my now newest client says...."Well Wendy will go out with you.......".  Then the whole office eventually knows and someone in the office won't approve and I will be hunting again! Anyway thats my take.  I would love to be able to be more open and trusting but it WILL eventually SOMEDAY bite me in the butt.  I wasn't going to give my opinion about the original topic in question but for these reasons...all fun and fantasy aside...if he does or doesn't contact his colleague and whether she takes the appointment or not if he does, he HAS to keep it to himself.

I agree with Wendy, I do not see friends coworkers ect. It is just bad business, can you imagine if the guy felt slighted in some way and just out spite said something in the office in passing? I for one would not see him and if he made an appointment, not knowing who he was, I open the door and see this guy I would be mad and scared at the same time.
I think you should be a gentleman and not see her, you can dream about her but let her alone.

If I knew it was her for sure I am unsure I would call. But because I don't know 100% for sure and the pics are so hot That is the type I am attracted to. Wendy. Thank you also for your insight. I agree that discretion is king. But what if it happened to you by chance. How would you react upon meeting? Say during screening he used his real name "Hypatheticly " (although it is a common name "Bob Johnson") and he used his secondary buisness for a reference or another provider that only knows he safe and a good guy. Upon meeting how would you handle this? This has to happen from time to time right?

What if it was totally a coinsidance? Unbeknown to either. Or say a past client you have seen didn't know you had a second job and applied at your company. Would you continue to see him as he already knows? Again If I know for sure it's her I probably will just "dream" but if any of the senerios were ever to come up I'm just courious how people would handel this.

Just to "out" a co-worker a simple bring a copy of her EROS ad would do the trick without exposing yourself. If that isn't the case you would both have a secret to protect

Heya Wendy.  Um, I meant that "probably has something going on behind the scenes" as a hypothetical.  I've met two or three ladies who had specific financial goals, and providing was a means to those ends.  It didn't mean that they didn't enjoy it (or at least gave the illusion of enjoying it (g)) but once their financial needs were fulfilled, that was it.  They retired.

Reo it.

Man, I'm really surprised you and your company didn't get slapped with a sexual harrassment lawsuit.

This discussion seems like a good one for The Erotic Highway.  Love Goddess and some of the posters could probably give you some good advice on this matter.

No lawsuit  nothing has happened. certainly at work.