Boy I will probably get myself in trouble again but being me, I just have to give my .02 cents....
In these tough times, I am sure it is very hard for the ladies to be hard nosed and ask a gentleman to leave at the agreed time as they do not want to make him mad as he may not come back or worst....he may talk about her as being a clock watcher....
Now saying that the ladies have to take control of the sessions but then it is hard not to irritate the gentlemen that pay their bills by going to appointments....
so maybe the guys should catch on and maybe think the about if that lady really wants him hanging around or if she is afraid he may cause problems or not come back.....
The ladies do have real lives and real friends and some have husbands and kids.....maybe you really are just a way to pay the bills and they really really wish you would stay for the agreed time....
Why do we get so full of ourselves and think the ladies are just dieing to be in our company after the time is up.....
I have always stepped up and paid for extra time myself........poor times like this cause bad practices by all....the ladies letting the guys and the guys taking advantage of it....
Like I said.... my .02 cents
I hope that this isnt too volatile of a subject. Still it is a realty to be reckoned. Im referring to just how far and in what way should a business relationship turn more personal. The friendships that are established are desirable by most parties. The real question/gray area is what are the limits? For example: Is there anything troublesome with sharing a cocktail in a public place before or after an appointment? How about sharing a meal before or after an appointment that is off the clock?
Lets take this to another level. How about the hobbyists who over-stay their time? To exacerbate the latter-mentioned there are hobbyists who expect anywhere from an extra 15 minutes or so, to hours over the appointment time. Sometimes pressure is brought to bear by a hobbyist telling the provider that so and so provider 'A' does it. That may be a true statement or merely a ploy to vie for extra time. Some have also accused providers of being a clock watchers when hes clearly beyond the agreed upon time. Before it gets mentioned, I will concede that there are providers out there who seem to rush the hobbyist out of the door soon after the first explosion. In the case of a 1 hour appointment, that should mean a full hour regardless if the hobbyist popped his cork in the first five minutes. On the other side of the coin, when the full hour is over, is it fair to accuse the provider of being a clock-watcher when the full time has been spent?
We need to also consider regulars. Now were really getting into the meat and potatoes part of this thread. Should regulars be afforded fringe benefits in the form of extra uncompensated time? Of course that is between the two parties, and ultimately up to the provider. Yes? It is quite a different matter if those fringe benefits are expected. There goes that expectation word again. How about the hobbyists who call, and say that they are short? That not-so-subtle lead-in statement is a request for service at a reduced rate, or even for free. Is it fair to even put a provider in that position by making the call?
Finally we have the Klingons. Those are the persons who take the GFE into the stratosphere. The persons willing to pay for trips, but not the time spent by the provider. Im referring to the gentlemen who truly desire to become a boyfriend with boyfriend privileges (Klingon). The guy who may be married; but he attempts to get a provider to essentially become his mistress at a substantially reduced rate. The asking of very personal questions about the activities of his girlfriend. The latter-mentioned forces lies or dismissal from the fold. True story: incessant text messages day and night from a former client (underscore former) asking what are you doing?, who are you seeing? Of course there are odd types out there, but the type of behavior or some variation is more common that one would think. It appears to be a cost of doing business.
So long as both parties are comfortable with the situation I think it's fine. When someone becomes uncomfortable then it's not cool. I'm delighted when a lady offers me a little extra in some fashion but I never expect it.
I never expect anymore then agreed to up front, some sessions have lasted longer, some shorter; but I have never thought that the fine ladies I have seen so far were clock watchers. I'm usually into the flow and really try to respect the ladies time, and when it is up, it is up! A lot of times I will ask and they let me know.
As far as meeting before or after if both sides are comfortable with it then I agree it is ok?
There is fine line that you never want to cross and that line tends to be just a little bit different from lady to lady, and the amount you have seen them or got to know them?
Careful -- Careful I would be very careful with Klingons. It seems every relationship that starts out as friendship ends up in flames. I personally know 6 very popular providers who had the special friendships which then became a stalker situation. Because of that all 6 are UTR or retired. I realize this is hard to accept but appointments are a businees and to treat them like an social engagement is playing with fire. I enjoy the closeness of GFE but then there have to be boundaries for both parties envolved
should never be viewed as "troublesome". That being said, of course you need to know the limits and boundaries. Before you can even think of the other person's limits and boundaries, you have to be able to recognize your own. I have many friends, all over the country, and have had dinner with them on several occasions, had mini M&G's with a group, even breakfast a couple of times.
After an appointment, I have no problem letting a lady know that I'm going out for a bite to eat, and she is certainly welcome to join me. My treat! More often than not, they are happy to come along. That's only on the rare occasion that I don't ask for a dinner date, in the first place.
Over-staying my time? Quite honestly, I don't. That ranks right up ther with haggling over the donation. It's not good for either of us. I never go into a date with "expectations" of extra time or extra services. It has happened on several occasions, and I make my appreciation known.
As far as "Klingons" go, you obviously know how to handle that situation, since he is a "former" client.
Use an alias if you must. The feedback through PMs so far indicate this IS somewhat of a sensitive subject for many. Some may "resemble" the behavior a tad????????
The feedback for all on the board could be very beneficial for all.
From a Provider's standpoint, I have to say that anyone that is labeled a 'time-waster' has absolutely no idea that they are guilty as charged.
Time-wasters will often overstay their alotted time and LOVE to discuss how Provider-X spent hours and hours of OTC time with them. I'm not quite sure why some hobbyists do this. Are they just bragging about their prior date or are they trying to manipulate me into offering extra time? I'm not Provider-X and I despise being compared to another provider. Comparing your free OTC time with me is a quick surefire way to find yourself never being invited back.
As for the dinner date topic, I do have a professional website that lists my dinner date engagement donation. Still, I'm boggled why dinner date rates seem to be trivial depending on when you eat. Why are dinner dates considered part of the donation when you eat prior to the engagement but not covered if you are dining afterward?
Keeping in touch with a few of my close hobbyist friends is all fine and dandy. I don't mind sending a quick email or txt message here and there. Everyday, however, is a bit too much. If I kept in touch w/everyone as much as they wanted, I would have to hire someone just to help me with my correspondences.
Different strokes for different folks. I do realize that all of us local ladies operate a bit differently. Just my 2 cents on a touchy subject. Sorry for the alias..but I have no desire to 'out' anyone on a public board.
Silly me, I just assumed an hour was just that. I feel it is up to the lady to extend the date if she prefers. Guys remember, this is a business and you are paying for TIME! so honor that and things go so much further.
as far as the drinks and dinner I would love that, buy I wouldn't expect that. Thanks Marie.
Silly me, I just assumed an hour was just that. I feel it is up to the lady to extend the date if she prefers. Guys remember, this is a business and you are paying for TIME! so honor that and things go so much further.
as far as the drinks and dinner I would love that, buy I wouldn't expect that. Thanks Marie.
Silly me, I just assumed an hour was just that. I feel it is up to the lady to extend the date if she prefers. Guys remember, this is a business and you are paying for TIME! so honor that and things go so much further.
as far as the drinks and dinner I would love that, buy I wouldn't expect that. Thanks Marie.
I think the good kind. As much as things always start out as a client/provider relationship with the appropriate boundaries, lets face it - it gets pretty intimate, especially after several dates over a period of time. Feelings develop and unless a lady is wary of the boundaries being tested, she can be suddenly and unexpectadly confronted with expectations beyond reason, especially if the client thinks that he is now more of her boyfriend or whatever.
I have had one of those types of relationships that developed out of the hobby. It started as being a regular client, with some fringe benefits because of the frequency and desire by both parties to enjoy more time with each other. Sometime just kicking back to watch a movie on TV or to go out for dinner. However never did it develop into more sack-time off the clock.
Eventually it developed into more of a mistress sort of relationship but never to the level of sugardaddy exclusivity. Never became a "real" lover affair, just GFE to the extreme. I don't view it as some extraordinary level of hobby activity that could be expected or ever repeated, but as a very unique level of chemistry with this one particular person. I doubt it would have developed at all had the lady been a full time provider. As a part-timer who was only supplementing an ordinary income, I think there was a desire to have a very very under-the-radar level of providing with only a very few guys.
When it ends I will be sad but you still have to keep it real. If a guy ever tells you he is in love with you, I would call that a red flag. I have heard a number of ladies tell me how these things always tend to end badly with guys turning into stalkers if you are not careful.
Oleoneeye shared some valuable knowledge and experience! That was the purpose of this thread dammit! I wish that more would chime in with their thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Good can come of it.
Thanks only one. Seems to me..... you've good two.
I think if a provider wants to spend some time with a client that is her business. I have had the experience of drinks and dinner after a session and it was an enjoyable time. However, I would not expect this to happen every time I see this particular provider.
I would never call a provider and try to negotiate a reduced rate or a freebe, that is not right. The provider has a right to charge what she feels her time and services are worth. If I don't want to or can't pay that amount that is my bad luck.
This situation can be a two way street. Years ago when I was now to the hobby, a provider pretended she was really into me and I ended up giving her money for cab fare, rent etc. I wised up though and realized that she was just using me, but I still felt hurt.
I believe there is nothing wrong with spending extra time, before, during, or after the session with her client so long as she chooses to do this.
I believe a guy should not pester the lady for extra time and if he wants to take her out for a meal, drinks, whatever before and/or after the session then he should expect to compensate her unless she makes it clear that is not necessary.
I believe that these scenarios are clearly YMMV situations; what happens between one guy and one lady should not be assumed to be applicable to other people or even the next time the same people get together.
Just because a guy becomes a regular does not obligate the lady to offer extended sessions and/or discounts on regular sessions. She may choose to do so. She may like to do so. You could even argue it would be wise for her to offer something to her best customers as is common with many businesses. I believe it should be her choice.
It's easy to step over the emotional boundaries when seeing the best escorts; they really do put a lot of themselves into the sessions and it's easy to mistake it for more than it is, particularly because many guys coming into this have lives that are lacking in both physical and emotional intimacy. You have to watch yourself here guys; don't ruin a good thing by believing a GFE provider wants to become your real-life GF. The two most likely ways that plays out are she refuses to keep seeing you or she is a ROB and takes you for everything she can squeeze out of you.
I like to think of it this way sometimes. The session with a great provider is a romance but it is a short lived one where you know when you walk in the door how long it will last.
guys who waste personal time outside of an appt.
Those who consider us their confidantes, personal assistants or therapists, and call at all times of the day and night. And if we don't respond in what they consider a timely manner, they get angry with us.
I am working or trying to.
Marie,
I, for one, am in this hobby because I don't want any relationship at the moment. My time spent with providers is for sex and only sex. Period. I wouldn't consider contacting her outside of my time for any reason. Likewise, I do not want any outside contact from her either.
I have been with many providers on this board and most know me as the guy who only wants the physical part of the compensated time. Rest assured, no drama, text messages, how are you doing, who are you seeing, or emotions here. I could care less about that stuff. I have a draining job the way it is already.
As for your "meat and potatoes", I don't expect any freebies or fringe benefits of a girlfriend from a provider. However, I do expect her to be at her "A game" when I see her for my time - both physically and emotionally. My ATF knows not to overbook that day because she knows we are going to have 4 minutes short of an hour of great physical sex. I don't see any providers that don't enjoy an hour of pure sex. No backrubs or tell me about yourself time fillers.
Your analysis somehow suggests many of us are Klingons that view providers as potential girlfriend material. That in some way we can't find this on our own. Let me assure you that I am here by choice because I don't want to be a Klingon to anyone. I can very easily find a girlfriend/wife (with fringe benefits) on my own outside of the hobby. I am here for my freedom and variety sake. I am young, make alot of money, and enjoy sex with others too much to settle down yet.
As for your "cost of doing business" headache of former hobbyists contacting you at odd hours, I would suggest you be more direct and up front with them. Tell them your time is money and not to bother you. I wouldn't consider texting a provider asking her "say, how is it going". I view this as strictly a business relationship.
I think it was Charlie Sheen that once said something like "I pay for sex for them to leave in the morning". Sounds familiar to me.
Sorry for alias but I just wanted to be truthful.
Sometimes the providers are so good at what they do, they get themselves in trouble. The providers job is to make the guy feel special. And Marie, you do a great job at making us feel special. The guy might say to himself, "I am sure she doesn't treat everyone that way, she really likes me".
For those providers that make us feel special, keep up the great work.
Hi Marie.
After reading some of the other posts, my 2 cents are pretty simple. I figure I'm paying for that hour(s) of fun and anything outside that is gravy and up to the lady. I've had dinner and drinks afterward, but mainly when I'm traveling because I don't want anyone local to feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes our stomachs are both growling after some great sex. Depending on the chemistry, I'll throw out the possibility of dinner on me if she has the time, or I'll pay for room service as a "tip" if she just wants dinner alone. Some accept some don't.
Last night I met with a wonderful lady here in...well ya know... and we had dinner and a couple of drinks afterward. It was really nice, but she actually had to leave early because of a last-minute appointment and that was understood by both parties. Tomorrow we're sharing a cab to the airport. No big deal.
I think as long as both adults understand the relationship it's fine, but there's always got to be that line there. As long as neither one crosses it, enjoy yourselves!!
I'm smiling at your experience. Hopefully many will learn from your post.
Hi Marie.
After reading some of the other posts, my 2 cents are pretty simple. I figure I'm paying for that hour(s) of fun and anything outside that is gravy and up to the lady. I've had dinner and drinks afterward, but mainly when I'm traveling because I don't want anyone local to feel uncomfortable.
Sometimes our stomachs are both growling after some great sex. Depending on the chemistry, I'll throw out the possibility of dinner on me if she has the time, or I'll pay for room service as a "tip" if she just wants dinner alone. Some accept some don't.
Last night I met with a wonderful lady here in...well ya know... and we had dinner and a couple of drinks afterward. It was really nice, but she actually had to leave early because of a last-minute appointment and that was understood by both parties. Tomorrow we're sharing a cab to the airport. No big deal.
I think as long as both adults understand the relationship it's fine, but there's always got to be that line there. As long as neither one crosses it, enjoy yourselves!!
Boy I will probably get myself in trouble again but being me, I just have to give my .02 cents....
In these tough times, I am sure it is very hard for the ladies to be hard nosed and ask a gentleman to leave at the agreed time as they do not want to make him mad as he may not come back or worst....he may talk about her as being a clock watcher....
Now saying that the ladies have to take control of the sessions but then it is hard not to irritate the gentlemen that pay their bills by going to appointments....
so maybe the guys should catch on and maybe think the about if that lady really wants him hanging around or if she is afraid he may cause problems or not come back.....
The ladies do have real lives and real friends and some have husbands and kids.....maybe you really are just a way to pay the bills and they really really wish you would stay for the agreed time....
Why do we get so full of ourselves and think the ladies are just dieing to be in our company after the time is up.....
I have always stepped up and paid for extra time myself........poor times like this cause bad practices by all....the ladies letting the guys and the guys taking advantage of it....
Like I said.... my .02 cents
You said:
"The ladies do have real lives and real friends and some have husbands and kids.....maybe you really are just a way to pay the bills and they really really wish you would stay for the agreed time....
Why do we get so full of ourselves and think the ladies are just dieing to be in our company after the time is up....."
Your .02 cents is more like a dollar. If nothing else you've enlightened the lurkers and readers.
Thank you.
This is about regulars I see. I consider them all friends but know it is still a provider client relasonship. I am always the first to say my time must be up and they always say don"t worry about that. Althogh by then we are just cuddling and talking. It is quite common for us to go out and have something to eat and they all insist on buying every other time. Nice ladies!
I can understand this. Hopping over to Champs for a burger is one thing and totally understandable. But being asked to accompany a friend to a fine dining restaurant (which is what I was referring to) takes preparation and an expensive wardrobe.
Let's don't forget that at the end of the day this is a business transaction...an emotional one but a transaction neverthenless.
But their are humans involved and at a very emotional level, so things can get complicated.
Unless the parties involved are robots there is the possibility that it could get involved beyond the intial transaction.
This however does not excuse guys that take this over the originally agreed upon transaction agreement.
Any further contact beyond the areed upon time should be by mutual consent.
Ladies, remember some of us guys are pretty dense and clueless...so it would be to your advantage to clearly setup up boundries....and remember use small words... 