A super-hot young waitress comes to our table to take our drink orders. The guy next to me says, "Please bring me a henway." I was as baffled as she was. She says "what's a henway." He says about two pounds.

What do you do with an epileptic in a bubble bath?

...do you just want the money?"

"That dress would look fabulous crumpled up at the end of my bed!"

I can keep going....  lol!

XO
Wendy

When you're walking around the lake and encounter a hottie.

I used this years ago when I was a young bull. I wasn't really even using it seriously. " That's a great looking outfit, but it would look much better on the floor next to my bed." She how about my floor? And we were out the door to her place.

... but I love it and would use it over and over:

Smile.  It is the second best thing you can do with your lips.

No, I have not used all of these (LMAO):

If I flip a coin, what are my chances of getting head?

You must work on a chicken farm because you sure can raise a cock!

That shirt's very becoming on you. If I were on you, I'd be coming too.

Fuck me if I am wrong, but haven't we met before?

You are so selfish! You're going to have that body the rest of your life and I just want it for one night.

Do you have a mirror in your pocket? (Why?) Because I can see myself in your pants.

If I had AIDS, would you have sex with me? [No] Well, I don't, so let's go.

If your right leg was Christmas and your left leg was Easter, would you let me come for dinner between the holidays?

Let's have a party and invite your pants to come on down.

Do you have any Finnish in you? Would you like some?

Hey baby, let's play house, you can be the door and I'll slam you!

I know a great way to burn off the calories in that pastry you just ate.

"Why should a woman masturbate with these two fingers?" (I don't know.) "'Cause they're mine sweetheart."

Your place or mine? Tell you what? I'll flip a coin. Head at my place, tail at yours.

Nice fucking weather. Want to?

Why don't you surprise your roommate and not come home tonight?

There are a lot of fish in the sea, but you're the only one I'd like to mount.

I don't know what you think of me, but I hope it's X-rated.

I like your hair, your eyes, your smile... I like every bone in your body... Especially mine!

Do you believe in free love? [No] Then how much do you cost?

I don't know you, and you don't know me, but who's to say it's wrong if we sleep together.

All those curves, and me with no brakes.

You had to laugh at something on this list!



-- Modified on 7/26/2012 12:56:21 AM

(hold out hand) Would you hold this for me while I go for a walk?

That's pretty good. I once had someone say to me, "if beauty were time, you'd be eternity". I responded by telling him that if beauty were time he'd be half past noon.

Fantastic comeback.  I like that!