A provider is saying a lot of derogatory things about me on some chat rooms. As a result, I'm having a lot of difficulty booking new providers. Any way I can overcome this?

First, do you know WHY this provider is saying these things about you?  I’m assuming there’s a reason other than she had nothing better to do than bash someone in chat rooms.
Second, have you tried communicating with her about this at any time—and by “this” I mean both her comments in the chat rooms and also whatever the reason is that she’s making those comments?  Maybe there was a misunderstanding that can be resolved.  
If it’s not possible to work this out with the provider, is there another provider you both know, who knows you well and trusts you, who could act as intermediary?
Of course, if you did something worthy of the provider’s comments, you need to apologize to her and try to make it up to her, if that’s possible. And straighten up and fly right from now on.

I have been out of the loop for awhile now.  I have to ask.  How would one know if they were being bashed on a provider board?

I'm going to ask the most obvious question that I think you should be asking yourself: *WHY* would a provider feel the need to speak negatively of you?  

 
To Knots point, you did not give us much detail but my inkling is you probably know the reason "why" there may be info sharing regarding you. In the small, off-chance you do not know the "why", I also would encourage you to reach out the provider in question to try and resolve the issue. Personally, I would not bring in a third party like another provider that you're on good terms with, to help resolve the situation. It's going to make the situation worse because 1) lack of discretion and 2) it will only further solidify the notion that you are "that" client - the one who is good and respectful to one or two providers (for references & moments like this) and are discourteous to the others.  

 
Here's what I can say: I genuinely have no idea what you're talking about. And most of us take one off information with a grain of salt. However, if you are receiving declination after declination you might want to consider your past behavior over a period of time.

Thanks Paige..I talked about what happened on this forum months ago. You weighed in at that time. Just found out about the remarks yesterday. Had seen a high end provider several times and she demanded a gift from me because we had texted back and forth.

Yes, “why”.
But I don’t follow your rationale on not trying an intermediary as a last resort, if direct communication with the provider making the comments in chat rooms is impossible.  Use of an intermediary is a common approach for resolving disputes when direct communication is difficult or impossible. And I also don’t understand why using an intermediary would by itself demonstrate that the OP is good & respectful to one or two providers but discourteous to others.  Why is trying to resolve the dispute through an intermediary discourteous, when direct communication isn’t possible?  To me it shows extra effort in trying to resolve the dispute.  
However, I should have clarified above that an intermediary isn’t needed and shouldn’t be used if the OP knows why the provider is commenting about him and it’s because of bad behavior on his part.  Then there’s no misunderstanding to resolve.

Paige, thanks for responding. I brought up the specific issue on this board quite a while ago, but you weighed in. I had seen a high-end provider 3 or 4 times but declined to schedule when she came to town again. She texted me and a brief conversation ensued. I made a covid joke, not profane or crude and she got angry and demanded a gift.

Fuck that. Move on and forget her

I think the lesson here is to avoid getting too familiar with providers.  They sell the girlfriend experience.   So if you start taking on the behaviors of a boyfriend (texting, calling, emails) then they'll expect payment.
.
My approach is more business like -- friendly, but straight to the point. It avoids unintentional drama and doesn't give them a rational to show their crazy side.

Exactly why did she demand a gift?  Because of the COVID joke?

The provider had a schedule with e different city every 3 or 4 days. She told me she was being low volume to reduce risk of covid. I said I was avoiding covid by having masked sex in doggy style position only. Ok, not funny but she was very offended and demanded a gift since I had wasted her time. I apologized sincerely several times but she was insistent and became verbally abusive. Never said what the gift should be. Finally I said that I was sorry she was having difficulty. She said you are blocked. All of this was via text. I had seen her several times and given her gifts.

Can you elaborate on that please?  Exactly how did you waste her time?  By exchanging a few text messages that included a joke?  That was an extreme reaction by the provider if that’s all that happened to cause her to block you and then trash you in chat rooms, enough to cause other providers to not see you (which gets me thinking you’re also on some blacklist).

P.S.  IMO, trying to avoid COVID and traveling to a different city every 3 or 4 days to see clients seems contradictory.  

Well the strange thing is I really liked this gal and had seen her 3 or 4 times. She had just gotten into the business and was coming thru Minneapolis often. I always brought her a gift. The last time I saw her was late 2020. She was coming to town again and had raised her rate up to 7 or 800 and I just did not contact her. She texted me. I think she was mad I didn't schedule. Anyway, I just found out about her comments a couple of days ago. No wonder I was having trouble booking others. She has ego issues.

So… you wasted HER time by not contacting her, and responding when she texted you?

Weird.  

I would take it with a grain of salt and just stick to using providers you have seen who would say postive things about you as reference if you want to see new providers.  

But when you do see new people maybe ask for permission ahead of time per provider if it would be alright to "chit chat" on their lines.  

Providers all go through trauma as well  
For example : a client starts getting chipper on her phone line  
Next thing we know they're stalking us
And then the client blames us for their feelings being caught up or we are being blamed for ignoring our clients when really we just are busy and can't respond every 5 minutes.  

^^ these flags are things we all notice , we try to avoid getting too close because of these sorts of outcomes.  

If we are lucky , we get the client who notifies us that they are getting their feelings caught up and they take responsibility to tell us they need to respectfully stop seeing us. This was one of the most respectful ways someone has ever exited from seeing me again.  

Back to subject , Just like someone stated , keep it professional. When you meet in person , enjoy it for what it is,   because we respect your personal lives, we expect the same from our clients.  

Consent is everything.  Nothing wrong with asking .  

As for overcoming , there really isn't anything you can do to change anything that has happened.  

This all really came down to being "emotionally evolved" humans . Maybe she was having a rough day and just took it weird.  But only you know the real Intentions of your actions in what you texted which was meant to be light hearted and friendly fun.  So own it.  

I'm sorry you are being brought up in forums and being bashed.  All you can do from here and continue to move forward and screen different ways til you find a Great connection again.  

Good luck

Or of course there is the remote possibility that this provider, who is very attractive, has an overblown ego and is so self absorbed that she is a wee bit cray cray. I have never been verbally abusive to any provider. She also says to not eat anything from me as if I drugged her. So, no, there is nothing I have done to merit this. And I definitely would not contact her.

Most women are crazy.  Escorts more so.

That sounds like this whole issue is on her..  You may have to stick with providers who already know you for a while and perhaps see if any of them will say good things about you.

Some high priced providers who travel to repeated destinations may have a client base on which they depend on to cover expenses . You may have been one of them and when you did not schedule and her high rate did not bring on enough others to make the stop a financial success - her “time was wasted” by you. There is a lot of sideways logic in this business. You bad ass you  ( LOL)

I’m just curious about these provider chat boards

They have probably been around for many years, just like private boards for guys. Those can be not as private when you get a WK or one of the members losing their tongue to the ladies.

it's simple really. Just as clients have their own back channels and client only boards/forums, providers have our own as well.  

 
Not sure what else there is to say about them.