you need to see this from a guys perspective. are you willing to give your real full name, work info and real phone number ? probably not. personally i look for a provider with a few reviews, as i will not and have never given my full real name. if they require that kind of personal info i ask if they will share their`s with me. they never do so i just move on. just my 2 pennies worth.
I just put a brand new ad up on Eros. A beautiful ad that includes my phone number. So, naturally, I am getting some calls.
Many of these calls, I'm sure, could turn into potential wonderful sessions with great connections on both sides.
Here is my problem, it seems as though the guys that go to Eros are looking for a lady they can call and see that moment. Or.. that day at least.
I would love to make their acquaintance, but I don't know who they are. Obviously, you TER guys know, that they need to be screened and verified.
Okay. Here's my question: How do I get a guy to understand that I need to verify him before he can come over?? What script can I use to help a man who is seemingly new to the hobby (or else he would know that he needs verification, right??) to stay on the phone long enough so that I can get the info I need to feel safe?
I feel very uncomfortable just delving into questions of a personal nature. What other ladies have you seen? Where do you work? What is your full name?
I feel like I'm missing out on meeting some really great people, but I don't know how to get the screening started. I always say that they should go to my website and fill out my form, but that plea gets ignored.
Can any of you guys remember what it was like when you first started out? How long did it take you to understand the whole screening process? What did the provider do in order to make you comfortable enough to give her some info about you?
What words can I use to finesse a beginning phone call into an actual meeting with a safe, genuine hobbyist who is only looking for a great massage or to spend some time with a fun, sensual woman???
I have not seen you ... yet. However guys who seem to think they can stop over in the next twewnty minutes should be referred to backpage for as different level of provider. Love your stories by the way and look forward to completing my screening process and someday smiling at the memories
If you choose to rely on a screening process, than just say so in your ad. The last line in your ad says "can't wait to meet you". But, in fact, there will be a fairly long wait to meet, while you do your verification.
I can't tell is you only do massages, but I know there are very few massage providers who screen. If your only source of information is here on TER, it is easy to get the impression that everyone has a rigorous screening process. But, outside of the women who post here, very few actually require much screening.
But, if you feel the need to screen, you are probably better off to indicate that requirement on all your ads.
I totally understand your perspective - you want and need to play it safe. With that being said....
I happen to be one of those impulsive, impetuous, I-want-it-right-now kinda guys. That is how I am, probably not gonna change at my age. When I am interested in seeing someone I look at TER to see if they have reviews. If they do and the reviews are decent I may go ahead and take the next step to give them a call and see if they are available. For me, if someone is one TER and has multiple reviews I fee pretty safe that they are ok.
Now, my question is why can't providers do likewise? If a guy has given numerous reviews - especially positive ones - it likely means they are ok. In order to prove they are that person on TER you could have them message you on TER.
I dunno - it's a quandary. Rarely do I ever have the luxury of planning ahead to see someone. It usually is a situation wherein I have the time and means to do so.
Anyway, that's my story and I'm stickin'to it!
Actually I do rely on the reviews of TER hobbyists. I take appointments via PM frequently.
And all I need to do is check the many reviews to know I'd like to meet this person.
It's the men who either don't have reviews or are not willing to admit to having a TER presence that are kind of difficult.
All other points taken as well.
As someone said, Yes, I should go and change my ad to convey that I do take a while to verify, Very good point. Thank you for that one.
But most of the time we are NOT available right now. We have another life too. It's very difficult to live life so last minute and I appreciate a man who is respectful of a girls time and books in advance. It's tough to live by the seat of our pants!!
then, obviously, he has references! Why doesn't he include that info in his initial correspondence or phone call. Too often, getting a reference, or TER handle, for that matter, is like trying to pull teeth. Some of you all just don't want to give it up! "just check with anyone i have reviewed" is not a reference...sorry.
If you don't have the ability to plan ahead, why not have a few ladies who are on your radar prescreen you (with the understanding that she is doing just that....so she knows it is for a future date and not one in the next day or two). This way, when you have that "urge to merge", you are ready to go and have a few options available to you!
The only thing you need to be aware of is that many ladies have a 6 month rule.....so, if they haven't seen you in 6 months you'll need to be re-screened.
Just something for you guys to think about!
Hugs, Belinda
Real hits it pretty close. The more info you give on what is required, protocol, etc, the better for both you and the hobbyist. Mention your website or TER profile for more info and screening requirements. Good luck and keep up the screening requirements!
I will do my best to give you my take on the whole verification process. I don't think you need a script...from your writing style I can tell you are an intelligent and engaging woman that can easily get your "position" delivered in a clear but NON threatening manner. When I was new at this I was scared ....less thinking about all the bad things that could happen to me if I made a mistake. Luckily I contacted a very highly rated provider,(unknowingly), who was patient, sweet, and walked me thru the process in a calm and empathetic way. She laughed "with me" on the phone ...I was panicky, confused, (I couldn't even remember who she was when she returned my phone call). She calmed me down and made me feel that "everything was gonna be alright"...so I gave her the info she wanted and she called me at work to verify.
Since then references are not a problem but I would say about 50% of the providers I've seen don't need them or don't check them. I think it's because of the manner I use to handle the first call and the type of information I offer to get the ball rolling. I do not like giving my full name and have only done it twice, when I was "new".
During your first contacts I would explain your reasons for verification BEFORE asking any probing questions (your safety and theirs). Any reasonable guy can understand safety issues, and if they don't...I'd move on...leaving the "door open" for them to reconsider.
If guys are not willing to stay on the phone for a reasonable amount of time with you...that would be a red flag to me anyway.
I hate website forms...never fill them out, they're a pain, but I will gladly send an email with reference information. Very easy to cut and paste!
The words you choose are not so important...it's your patience and attitude that you use. I'm more willing to go a little further with someone that treats me well on a first contact, and have never called back those who didn't. Makes sense, right?
And finally....there's that gut feel you might have. But verifying is the better way to go!
Hope this helps some!!
Requirements included. Should be up and running by tomorrow.
thanks, you guys are the best. That's why I love TER!!!!
-- Modified on 7/8/2010 2:06:08 PM
Your posts are thoughtful and playful. Your salacious nature and wood-bringing erotica are always welcome, at least by me. Congratulations on the "new" you. Your new pics are so well done and feature your physical assets especially nice.
you need to see this from a guys perspective. are you willing to give your real full name, work info and real phone number ? probably not. personally i look for a provider with a few reviews, as i will not and have never given my full real name. if they require that kind of personal info i ask if they will share their`s with me. they never do so i just move on. just my 2 pennies worth.
So that I may devote myself to you unreservedly during the special time we share together, pre-screening is a must.
When they call, would it perhaps be easier to ask if they are familiar with your requirements and if they have the information you need? Might work better as a way to ease into your screening process.
+ I would remove your phone number from the ad and leave your website and email. Many providers do it.
+ Add a rate or rates, it will get you more inquiries. Guys like convenience and it is work asking them to leave eros and go to your website to see rates. The second item after pictures that a guy looks for are rates. If he does not see the rates, he will move on.
+ All repeat clients will either go to your website, call, email or PM you. Eros is mostly for providers who want new clients. I would delete the first two sentences with stars on them and combine them into one.
+ A simple stared item like, I require at least 24 hour notice for all appointment requests and references or acceptable verification should do the trick.
don't worry about it Anna. I sent you some good thoughts via PM.
If a guy won't help you be safe, he's not worth it. He puts you and your regular clients at risk.