I'm considering a serious relationship with someone right now.  The one big question facing me is, can I still stick to one person expecting a commitment.

Years of paying for an endless variety of women of all shapes, ages and sizes and trimming your tastes down to one person..

Anyone else go through this and how able were you to turn it on or off?  Did hobbying open up Pandora's Box that can never be closed again?

I quit traditional dating years ago, I am not attracted to women my age so there is no
point in trying. Thirty years of dating has taken a toll. Res Ipsa loquitor.  
Good luck

There are many reasons we are here, your ability to leave will depend on why you hobby, you're ability to make a commitment to the relationship, and many other factors some you control and some you don't.  

Good luck

the answer to that question is a function of the individuals involved.  (Thank you captain obvious).

How important is the physical aspect of the relationship to you?  How important is it to your proposed significant other?  If there are physical things you enjoy doing that your SO finds disgusting, my guess is you'll continue in the hobby in some fashion.

Interpersonal compatibility is more important to me than than the physical.  I see the providers I see because I get along well with them.  We invariably spend more time chatting than fucking

If I find someone to love, I'll stop the hobby and be faithful to that someone.

I have certainly been able to revert to something monogamous, twice.

The second time was probably the more compelling example.  Fell in love, was sexually enthralled and very satisfied so that I was able to focus all my desires into this good, giving, game relationship.  

It failed because I didn't know which personality I was coming home to.  Volatility kills relationships, especially, I think, as we get older.  Ultimately I need passion, and consistency.

Good luck!

After many years and lots of mistakes.  My advice is if you find another "special" person to love, always have your favorite provider on the side.

you don't know which provider you are going to be talking to,,,

Considering this commitment would be with my first favorite provider.. I guess I'd have to move to my second!

You may want to post on the general board about relationships between providers and clients.  Haven't read about the situation a lot, but have yet to read about the relationship lasting.   Sometimes ended well sometimes not.

My take on the subject, depends upon the individual.
In my case, yes I was able to walk away from the hobby, and not for the reason of a relationship.
I walked, due to all the instability of the hobby. I know, no strings attached, however, when dealing
with providers, and wondering which mood is going to show up for a date, well in my case,
the guess work and risks took a toll on my ability to enjoy and justify the hobby experience.

I am very picky, about whom I spend time with, and whom I compensate with my hard earned dollars, and the pool is very slim when my preferences are applied.
So rather than bitch and complain, I left.

I have a good relationship with myself, as well as an ability to control my urges to fuck, and while
I do get horny, and am always on the lookout for that female diamond in the rough, I usually
am Just in cruise control, and only actually hobby a couple times a year.

Whatever you do decide, best Wishes in your pursuit of happiness!

The question was mainly I'm wondering if I can flip the monogamy switch and if anyone else has been successful in doing so.

The big reason I hobby is variety.  That is where I'm wondering if I can ever be satisfied again.  I could have a lady fuck me up one side and down the other, and I feel I still am gonna be wanting/seeking something new and different.  Also considering how easy and available it is.  

This could prove to be harder then quitting smoking.

True enough, but generally more information is better than less.  Just making a suggestion that may provide information more on point to your situation.

Best of luck to you.

Will she still be providing?
Is she expecting you to be monogamous if you commit to her? And vice versa.  
As always with this posts, there are more questions than answers  

The reason I hobby- I believe it was Lay's potato chip ad- "Betcha can't eat just one"- whose credo I follow.

I do keep looking for the perfect chip to eat.  Or pussy

LOL!  I was gonna put that line in my original post as that was what was running through my head.  She isn't a FS provider and yes she wants out and made the demand that I would need to stop living the life I do.  

As good as a session is, it is extremely rare that I repeat.. Now I'm looking at limiting the menu to one item.

It depends on what your normal is, if cynicism and emotional disengagement is yours and thinking of men who have these forms of emotional views as whiteknights and manginas, you might have a hard time returning to civilian life.  

If you can respect a woman as a full person, maybe.

Best of luck.
I will light a candle for you and her.

If a person requires fidelity in a relationship (especially knowing your ways) silly me, I would find THAT to be disrespectful to sneak around, lie and cheat.. Silly me.

It seems here on the forum it's far more admired to say silly things like I love women for their brains.

Women LOVE to hear shit like that.. They find out a lot from a guy instantly.

A.) Liar.. Who looks at Christy Canyon, Bridgette B or an escort ad and goes.. Wow I wonder what her SAT scores were or what her thoughts on (insert whatever) are.
B.) Pansie.. Willing to say anything they THINK will gain the respect and adoration of a woman when in fact, the opposite is happening.

I believe in honesty, first and foremost to myself.  I'm not going to be the Paula Abdul whose words become meaningless because everyone is a special little flower.. I'm going to be the Simon Cowell where I'm usually a jackass, but, honest about it.  Impress me and my words mean something.

So go ahead and continue to rationalize that monogamy is a mere fetish and somehow sneaking around is a show of "respect" and I will continue to be the cynic that I am and objectify this woman by wondering if I can honor her wishes.

Sex at Dawn: How We Mate, Why We Stray, and What It Means for Modern Relationships

You might learn something and get over your double standard of Madonna/whore  and Hobby John/John-boy Walton  

Be sure to come back under any one of your hobbynames so that we don't have to waste time linking profiles.

That's the tricky part..  

Can't say that I love her, but we click.  I'm thinking of it like a business arrangement with benefits.

If you think of it as a business arrangement with benefits it's not a normal serious relationship. It sounds exactly like pay4play. If that's what she wants out of it too, go for it but that's not song you were singing in your OP.

You might be hearing the something different, but, the song remains the same..  I never said I was madly in love with anyone.. I said "considering" how many people consider romantic relationships?  

The proposed arrangement could be extremely beneficial to me.. Assuming I'll be fine giving up that one little thing...

I should modify my original statement.  If I started to date someone with the intent of a romantic relationship, I would stop 'hobbying' whether I was in love or not.

A woman to cook, clean and take care of you and all you have to give up is sleeping with as many woman as possible?

Not sure Madonna and John-Boy are appropriate..  
More Archie Bunker and Edith...

END OF MESSAGE

... you don't need us to answer it for you.  And I think you've already answered it.

You don't know if you love the woman; instead you look at the proposed relationship "like a business arrangement with benefits."  Business arrangements are almost never exclusive.  However, business arrangements are governed by contracts.  Marriage is a contract, a mutual give-to-get.  But contracts can be constructed in different ways.  There are marriage contracts that do not include monogamy as a condition.  It appears, however, that in this case your intended spouse will require that condition.  Can you uphold your end of the contract?

You say that the proposed relationship could be very beneficial to you.  But how will it benefit the woman?  You've admitted that if you could have a lady fuck you up one side and down the other, you still feel you're going to be wanting/seeking something new and different--considering how easy and available it is.  What will you do if you someday see a provider whom you think could be beneficial to you?  

I was monogamous for nearly my entire life.  The main reason I was monogamous is that I loved my SO or wife and because of that would never do anything to hurt her.  I entered the hobby only because I was sure my wife no longer loved me.  IMO love is an essential component of a monogamous relationship.  When all else fails, when sex isn't as hot as it used to be, when wrinkles and love handles start appearing... love is still there.

You know yourself better than anyone else knows you.  If you question whether you can remain monogamous in this proposed relationship, it's for good reason.  If you respect this woman and have any love for her at all, don't enter a relationship with her until you're certain you can respect her wishes.

Here's one way to ascertain whether you can be monogamous:  exit the hobby.  Today.  Stop seeking "bucket list" candidates... today.  Begin your monogamous relationship with this woman TODAY--even if she is not yet ready to exit the hobby.  Try monogamy for a few weeks, a few months.  See how you feel about monogamy after that.

Well stated.  

I probably shouldn't have gone into the full details of my arrangement as that is not really the question.  The only possible component is the missing "love" piece.  Even that might be there in some semblance.  I am finding myself more at ease with her continuing to work and although I haven't gone cold-turkey, it has been more then a week.  Last night, the woman in question got pretty pissed at me and stopped talking.  Almost immediately one of my ATF's texted me asking if I wanted to check out her new place.  (Do women/providers just have some distress-o-meter radar?)  I was tempted initially, but, realized my temptation wasn't cause I wanted to necessarily get laid.. More a fuck you, I'll do what I want, when I want reaction.  Needless to say I declined the invitation.

I think my question was a fair one in the general sense.  Not were you able to be monogamous before you started hobbying, playing the field or whatever.. It's if you can return to it after you've tapped in to it.   What she's asking could be best equated to demanding an alcoholic to never take a drink again.  I don't know what I'll think or do 5 years from now, or if things are rocky and I find my self in on of my "Disneyland" type towns in terms of FS AMPs or brothels.  

I really don't know what I'd be thinking if that Indian Midget comes rolling into town.