When I was in college, I got together with a "MILF" escort several times.  I am now in my mid-thirties.  I recently got a promotion a couple months ago and have been wanting to treat myself.  Ideally, I would like to find someone that I see once every month or so, probably more if I didn't have these damn student loans   I started browsing for providers about a month ago.  I was sketched out about going through BP so I joined here a week ago and have found several girls I am interested in.  

First question is in regards to getting an appointment.  
I've tried contacting several providers and I am getting nowhere.   I know one reason I am having a difficult time finding someone is that I have no references.  I am more than willing to do anything else for screening (sending a photo of my DL, work verification...)  

The other issue I've experienced is that I have contacted a few providers and either don't get a response or we text a few times,  am instructed to call the day I want to set up an appointment.  I call the day of and hear nothing back.  

Am I doing something wrong?  What does a person say when they contact a provider?

My second question is about any recommendations for a provider.
I was in a long-term relationship a number of years ago.  Since that break-up, I haven't been in a relationship.  My body-image has gone to shit.  I am pretty damn sure I am going to be super nervous and incredibly self-conscious.  Is it out of the question to request to have the lights be dimmed?

Maybe someone has a recommendation for a provider who wouldn't make me feel really self-conscious?

Thanks in advance!

... and spend some time perusing the Newbie board, if you haven't already done that. It's chock-full of good advice on these and many other questions.   Start with the Instruction Manual at the top of page 1.

As for provider recommendations, I'll leave that to Oneadeez.  😏  But in general, keep in mind you're not dating a civvie woman here.  Arrive clean, well groomed, with the correct donation, and be a gentleman and you'll do just fine.

And get verified there.  Generally p411 verifies where you work.  

Just some tips for newbies that I've picked up through experience and listening to other people:

1.  Check out the newbie board; lots of good info there
2.  Get the VIP membership so you can see the review details and have access to the PM system
3.  Spend some time learning how to use the search functions for both reviews and the discussion board so you can identify ladies you would be interested in seeing based on the criteria that matter most to you (ex: looks, menu, rates, etc.)
4.  Figure out what kind of verification the ladies you would like to see require and how you can meet those requirements.  Some ladies are very particular.  Others are more flexible.  It's OK to contact them about it if you are not sure; just remember to be discreet.  Any  explicit questions will likely get you disconnect or otherwise ignored.
5.  Some ladies advertise here or on other sites that they are newbie friendly; keep an eye out for that.
6.  Consider joining a site such as P411 that pre-screens potential clients.  Some escorts will accept membership in such sites as satisfactory verification.
7.  If you are still puzzled by something after having done research, please feel free to ask questions.  I think for the most part we are willing to help out so long as we think you are not just freeloading on what others have learned.
8.  Develop a bit of a thick skin; some people are going to be jerks regardless.
9.  If an ad or offer looks TGTBT, it's probably TGTBT.
10. If you find yourself in any situation that doesn't feel quite right, trust your instincts and walk away.
11. As a newcomer, stick with well-reviewed ladies.  It's harder when you are inexperienced to figure out who the legit providers are from the fakes and scammers when they don't have reviews.
12.  Google is very useful.  Searching on a phone number or other info from an ad in Google can sometimes save you a lot of grief. Google Image Search is another very useful tool to search for other places where pictures in an ad are being used.
13. To help uncover ads that are using someone else pics Google Image Search and Tineye are useful tools.  Much better to find out ahead of time that the girl you are thinking of calling is using the pics from some porn star or model or that the pics have been used in ads from one side of the country to the other.
14.  Get an anonymous hobby email that is not through your work, school, or anything connected to your real life (yahoo, hotmail, gmail, etc.) and use it for all your hobby email activity and for nothing else.  Be sure you include nothing that identifies who you really are when you create it.
15.  Get a prepaid phone that you use for nothing else other than hobby phone calls and pay cash for it and whatever refill minutes you buy.

Yeah, I've been running into this problem too as newbie.

Overall, how sketchy is BP?

I think BP brings in business so even TER and P411 gals advertise there.  But for clients ... it's a risk for rip offs and LE stings.

It's way too risky IMHO.  She'd better have some solid reviews by reviewers with some history.

Male or female

Some providers will verify you without references, if you give out your real name and employment information.  Personally, I would never put that information out there.  Nude massage providers oftentimes are less stringent about screening.  You could possibly acquire one or two references that way.  Or you may find that you are satisfied with this level of service.

Dimming the lights is probably more the norm and would not be out of the question at all.

Many GFE providers will be able to sense your degree of nervousness and probably help you feel less self-conscious.  

Hey darling! You need to make sure that you find yourself a newbie friendly companion who is flexible. I am this. Even if I am not one who sparks your interest, I would be happy to discuss screening options more in depth if you email me. I am not going to post it here, publicly. But, if you reach out I am happy to help you figure out what you're comfortable with that will MOST LIKELY make newbie friendly ladies comfortable. Of course, I can really only speak for myself - but I am sure I can help. [email protected]

The best way to get a provider to trust you is to ask as few questions as possible.  Read reviews and know everything you need to know before calling.  When the provider answers I just say I would like to get togather to visit for an hour.  And when you can visit.  If they ask if I have any other questions, I just say I know what I need to know and I don't like to talk till I get to know someone.