PMs are fine.

Calls and texts are a big no-no.

Emails O.K., if I've opted in to receive them.

You should never receive phone calls or texts from a provider unless you have told her that it is ok. Unsolicited calls and texts are too risky and indiscreet.
Hell, the only ones that even get an email from me signed up for my newsletter on my website.
If you want to get ahold of me I assume that you are smart enough to use the search functions and find me.

That is IMHO. Others have different marketing strategies and that is their prerogative.

As has been discussed on this board before, I sometimes get texts from ladies I've seen before, which I don't mind. I have one sometimes aggressive lady who texts, "specials." But lately I have been getting PMs from providers I haven't seen, usually responding to something I've posted with a caveat that they would like to see me (e.g. "It seems like we would be a good match") or that something I've noted is their specialty, etc. I have taken a couple ladies up on their offers with mixed results- some good, some bad (no review). I guess I kind of like the attention and I am more apt to respond to a lady that contacts me if I like her pics and reviews. What do other hobbyist and providers think of this marketing approach and are their other strategies that I'm unaware?

Texts should not be sent to gentlemen without prior permission (asking if it is ok to do so on an occasional basis) - period. Think of what could happen if the wifey or GF or whomever happened to hear it or see it or get snoopy or.......

I have received phone calls on occasion in the past from providers I have seen. This goes under the same rule as texts - in my book.

PMs are absolutely fine with me. Personally, I appreciate when a woman is forward/aggressive/takes initiative. Obviously, I also like being notified of upcoming visits and specials.

As far as other marketing methods are concerned, I like when a woman has a website with good information, pricing, current pix, expectations, etc. If a website communicates a sense of validity to the observer I think the provider has a much better chance of obtaining responses. Same goes for ads. If I am shopping for a car and the seller does not include important, pertinent information - such as price, miles, color, condition, etc., I am unlikely to even call.

I do realize that when a provider puts information out for public consumption they are probably creating more risk as far as LE goes - but that is what screening, P411, etc. is for.

I will tell ya this - if I arrive to see a provider and find out she has lied - upselling, inaccurate pix, description, makes a promise and breaks it - I will walk out immediately and make sure all my Hobby Buddies are well aware of what transpired.

That's my story and I'm stickin' to it!

The text thing for me is not an issue but I understand your concerns. It's the initiating contact thru PMs toward me that I'm making reference to as different or new...

...it would make my VIP membership a better value

Thank you, Remy.

Mr. Bender, please be more careful with your info.

you know what the hunters say, whatever trips your trigger...

Well said RM, well said...I wish all would adhere to that, even calling back some 2 hours later can be cumbersome...hell in 2 hours I could have taken care of things myself and been sitting back with a beer...did I say that out loud.

PM's through TER are fine with me, even prefered.  Absolutely no unsolicited text messages or phone calls to my phone for reasons of discretion.  I had a problem with one lady who thought that since I had seen her a couple of times it was OK to text me when she arrived in town and periodically through her visit.  I quickly put a stop to that.  I agree with the previous poster that PM's through TER would add value to my VIP membership.

I don't mind unsolicited contact provided the lady knows I am OK with it; it is a useful to way to find out about specials, availability changes, etc.

What I would not like is specifically asking for an appointment.  That would be uncomfortable.  The best way to get me to come back is to make sure that I left happy the last time.

Yup! & now I'm ducking for cover!

"so that it all remains discrete."

The word is "discreet."

"Discrete" and "discreet" are two different words with two different meanings.  They are not interchangeable.

. . . in that a provider I saw only once (it was great for me) over two years ago just sent me a "Happy Thanksgiving" e-mail.  Not the end of the world, but I thought it odd that she still had my e-mail address.  To tell you the truth, I'd prefer not to be remembered for that long.  If I was going back for more, I would have.  I guess, in the end, PMs through TER are just fine.  Everything else mentioned here are not what I would like.

One of the reasons I wrote this was that I was hoping more providers would use PMs if they have an interest in a particular hobbyist who uses the board. I should have left the text thing out completely. Everyone pretty much agrees on that. I disagree with Heartsonfire1, I like when ladies who initiate contact in this way; it broadens my field of play and takes me out of my comfort zone sometimes. As far as the texts go, I have gotten them from time to time from several providers I've seen and they have always been discrete at first until they see if I respond. I get, "what up?"

Coincidently, I received an email today from Rose Mallowe asking my opinion of her having a subscription site with risque photos of herself.  I was surprised and alarmed to see this email, but it said that I had registered to receive her newsletter.

I followed the directions to unsubscribe and found that I had, indeed, subscribed to the newsletter over a year ago.  I searched my incoming mail and found that today's solicitation was the first "newsletter" I had received from Ms. Mallowe.

You have been warned!

my website and ads are out there for folks to make their own decisions about whether or not they want to see me, and how often. aside from the occasional genuine thank-you note after a session, i almost never initiate email or phone conversations. i think it reeks of desperation and indiscretion - it's just bad form.

I hear ya. I'd like to get some pm's or mails. get to know someone new for some new adventures

...that some of us get really turned on by desperation and indiscretion  
have a nice day!

I got an unexpected solicitation call from a provider I had only seen once.
It wouldn't have been so bad except it came in hands free in my car and
my Pastor happen to be riding with me at the time. As soon as I figured out
who it was I told her she had the wrong number and hung up as soon as I
could. I'm not sure if my Pastor bought it or not.

PM"s  would not bother me and if your gonna text me it would have to come on a string and a can.  But the best statement in this whole deal is vorlon"s last sentance.  Nothing truer.

There are no hard and fast rules here; just a consensus of what individuals are comfortable with so "get off  your high-horse!" Why do so many providers feel that they can decide what is acceptable or not. I think it's acceptable, it's just how it done so that it all remains discrete.

I suspect that is what she is getting at.  And I think that you will find that there are plenty of guys who, even if it were done discreetly, would not want the escort to initiate contact.

My opinion:

I think a lot of guys enjoy some fun, get-to-know-you, back and forth type of conversation via PM or whatever.  But I get the impression that a lot of gals view this as a waste of their time.  Short, one-word responses to a guy's inquiries would indicate that.  

A message that's nothing but a straight to the point sales-pitch wouldn't be much fun.

That said, I really don't have a problem with PM's here on TER.  

bzb

You should have told him it was your imaginary friend.  A "pastor" would understand that.  He's got one.

I think it being a personal rule for her was implicit.

I got that Tgiving email also after only one meeting probably two years ago. It was unexpected, but I guess I'll live.

Before you gals strain yourselves patting each other on the back, please understand that I fully agree that signing up for your "newsletter" was a mistake and totally my own fault.  This is an example of the problems that can occur when you give contact information to a provider, for any reason.

In this instance, I made a mistake by providing my contact information and promptly forgot about it.  But, your computer didn't forget.  The information was out there all the time.  I don't fault you at all.  I can't say "I should have known better," because I DO know better.

I've learned a lesson, and you helped me do it.  Have a great day!

I don't mind PMs at all, I have received them before and once ended up making an appointment because of them. It's a way to get to know the lady a little better before deciding if you are compatible or not.

If you're ever at a social family gathering (wedding, funeral, birthday party, etc.) and you get a call from a provider with your _______(fill in the blank--wife, son, mother, sister) sitting close to you and they hear something that shouldn't be heard. Hmmm.....oh well.  

I'm really glad someone else pointed out "discreet" because if family overhears a female voice saying anything sexy or whatever, you might be able to talk your way out of it then, but what about next time?  I would think your family is smart enough to start questioning things, aren't they?  

Where are "the providers that feel they can decide what is acceptable or not"?  I think every provider has a mind of her own and lives by her own rules.  Last time I checked most of us were "Independents".  Look it up.

Actually I was speaking for myself, as was suggested, from a common sense standpoint.

I don't make any rules for anyone but for myself.  When I first started I was told it was an unwritten rule that you didn't make contact first.  It's called being discreet, having common sense, and respecting the man's privacy.

This only pertains to me.  Everyone else can do as they wish.

Happy holidays!
Hugs,
JD

Edited to be nice.  It's Christmas.

-- Modified on 12/3/2010 9:02:53 PM

Hey janedoe I like your sense in this thing.  But you have my permission to contact me in any maner at any time.   bigdell

This one seems so obvious to me that I can't believe it's being discussed. This is one of the few times where the guy makes the rule. You don't have to guess or consult with your peer group on what is right or wrong. Just ask. There are only two possible answers.

It appears to me that a lot of ladies feel that the must create a "one size fits all" set of rules to with which to manage their business. I can understand why, as keeping everything black and white takes a lot of emotional decision making out of the process. That stuff takes time and effort and time is not an asset that is in abundance with a lot of providers due to school. jobs, kids, etc....  That said, I can tell you from experience that ladies who made an effort to keep me engaged after the fact have been much more likely to see me as a repeat customer (I'm going to assume that most providers would consider that good thing). All it takes is a real quick "Hey, I really enjoyed our time together, would it be okay if I emailed you to let you know when I'm having a special or just to say hi?" Guy says sure, you put him in stack "a" guy says "hell no" he goes in stack "b".

I absolutely understand taking the position of assuming that you should not contact a guy unless you have his permission, but if you let him go without understanding what you can do to keep him returning, well, you are missing out on some business.

For those providers who that have more business that you can handle, please disregard my entire rant.

I get texts from a provider I did not even see: she flaked. I am very new to this and I take precautions of course, but her texting me surprised me. I very politely asked her to remove me from her text list to no avail. Although a newbie, I concur that providers should not contact clients outside of session-related times.