Come on and tell me, I'm listening.  Hope to learn something from you married people so I do not fall in to same trap.  We I get married, no way in hell would I be looking for sex outside of marriage

Surprising as it may seem, one can have a full sex life in marriage as well as on the outside.  They may be related for some people -- where they aren't getting much/any inside the marriage and seek it outside, but that's certainly not always the case.  

In my case, the cause of my divorce was due more to who my Ex is, by way of her personality, and her fantasy that she was some sort of princess, living in a fairy tale world, and as she is a N.P.D.
( psychopath ) she used sex to get what she wanted, and then it ceased to happen on a regular basis, and then of course the cycle began all over again. As well as who I was, and whom I chose to become during the marriage, You see I was equal contributor, and the one who petitioned for the divorce.  

While I'm not one who is a fan of divorce in most cases (I don't know the absolute details of yours so no judgment), your offer of "a word of wisdom" is spot on man. Especially the part of being self-aware. Kudos.

I know most of the girls i see, see married guys and although some think it is strange they are open-minded. In the back of my mind I always think if these married guys want to go out and fuck younger girls I will go and fuck there wives and give them the younger guy and then we will see how the guys feel about that

But some of us just get bored with the same thing over and over.  

A young man is walking down the aisle a little unsteady with the biggest grin the best man had ever seen on him. He asks him, "Marriage must be good for you I have never see you this happy", the Groom replies, "You are right, I am marrying the love of my life who makes me so happy and i just got the best blow job i have ever gotten. I can't wait to spend the rest of my life with this amazing beautiful woman." The bride walks down the aisle a little unsteady with the biggest smile on her face. Her Maid of Honor is so happy for her and says, "I have never seen you happier", The bride replies, "I am so happy I am marrying the man of my dreams, one who will love me forever and I will never part, and i just gave the last blowjob of my life."  
During a conversation with one of my last providers, she in all sincerity asked me how many times I had sex a day. I almost choked from amazement. I checked to see how sincere she was and not just kidding. I told her try month and that i have sex a couple times a month on average and that includes hobbiying. I love my wife but if it were not for the hobby i would be gone. I gotta have sex, fun sex, sex with someone who actually for I don't care the  reason wants me to really enjoy it. Like others have said, for me it takes the edge off, or pressure off. If my wife and I don't have sex as often I am not pressuring her and it just happens and feels more mutual.  My wife simply does not want to have sex very often. I spent many frustrated years of not havingvery much sex, and what we had sometimes was very unfullfilling.

Had kids and viewed the act, or anything remotely close to intimacy including holding hands or kissing, as unneccessary. 'go make money so I can be a stay-at-home mother for our children.' she's Asian, Japanese to be precise, and intimacy is not important beyond the required amount to have children. I would caution any western male that wants to marry an Asian, specifically Japanese, woman to understand that they do not view relationships in terms of love and commitment as we tend to do. To them it is a partnership with specific roles and duties. Sex is temporary, for recreation and courting, but Not tied to love. Her dependence on you is permanent, however. My Hmong friends tell me they are told to have sex with their husbands as often as the husbands want. Not love related either. In a very generalized way, all Asian cultures seem to remove romantic love from any marriage and with it will go part of sex we all need and recognize - human connection.

Take the part out about your ex wife and her NPD, keep the part where you take responsibility for your half of the mess and your post is fantastic! Know your self. Be at peace by yourself (alone). The person you choose from that place will be someone worth knowing. Ironically, this good advice is given on a site for void filling. Funny.

She did it enough before marriage and caught her man.

Women get bored of their men too.  There are many a story of a woman who has become disinterested in regular sex with hubby, until one day some new guy catches her eye and then she herself is surprised at the physical reaction she is experiencing.

The relationship was so acrimonious that the idea of having sex with her was repellent to me.

-- Modified on 5/7/2016 1:23:25 AM

He may be 6 feet under but his journey sure was fun.

My now exwife had pain during sex...I'm taking streaming tears. So for the 3 years we were married, I never came.... I'm hung like a freakin tick-tac so it wasn't because of my size. We went to dr's and psychiatrists. All of them said it was a mental issue. She couldn't believe that so she stopped trying to figure it out.  
To make matters worse, when we got married, I was a full fledged kool-aide drinking Mormon. She had been raised as a LDS (Mormon) So jacking off was forbidden,  she wouldn't give me a HJ, oral was definitely out of the question, and I'm not a anal dude. I couldn't even get her to touch me during for play....so I just stopped.

I stopped having sex with my wife a couple of years ago.  She never liked sex and only did it for me.  I'm talking she had no arousal at all, no sexual fantasies, no desires, nothing.  If that was all it was, I'd probably still want to have sex with her even though it was about the worst sex you can imagine.   But after years and years of her also using sex to manipulate or hurt me I said enough is enough.  I looked up the definition of sexual abuse one time and about 8 out of 10 items on the list were things she had done to me.  I deserve better.  

I can see where Religion can get in the way of a healthy sex life, even in marriage !

PM sent

In fact, I fucked the shit out of her last night, and again this morning. She still loves to get fucked, and is a squirter as well, which I love. Trouble is, she's kind of a bitch to be married too, it's been too long, and she has put on a good amount of weight, which I find pretty unattractive. We get drunk and fuck maybe twice a month (in a good month) and I hobby to fill in the gaps, and to be with younger, hotter ladies.  
It also pays for us to stay together financially, and while the kids were at home. Now that they're gone I think it's mostly just convienent.  So as long as I can maintain the status quo, I'll stay. If she catches me (again) I'll be down the road for sure...there was an incident last year and I'm on thin ice. But till that happens we just ...go on. Kind of sad...but not overly so. We had an OK marriage for a bunch of years, and will part on decent terms when we do I expect.

I haven't had sex with my wife in nearly ten years.  She had a hysterectomy and became so dry that any actual sex would tear her up.  So that stopped.  The blowjobs were not all that fun because of the look on her face (I'm just doing you a favor).  

Pretty similar case to mine in many respects.

Awesome, you go find some lonely wife and we'll double team her.

PM me her numbers, I'll fuck her and you can catch us--> Easy divorce, you keep everything because she cheated on you.

I'm guessing her religion bring had something to do with it.  So, you didn't fucked her before marriage?

Lessons learned here.
1- Know/understand oneself
2-Fuck the shit out of her, and make sure she likes it.
3-Don't marry religious nut.
4-Use surrogate services.

If #2 is too much trouble, just don't get married.

It will not work like that, Minnesota is a No Fault divorce State, so she or He can get caught, and the results shall pretty much be the same as if one of them just filed for a non contested divorce.
She gets half, and if children are involved, well then the courts shall evaluate whom is the primary care giver, and that weighs into the final facts and findings.  

Talon, if you think marriage is about having sex then don't ever get married. The two are sooo far apart.