It appears that spreading rumors has become a huge local issue lately...or since the Minneapolis fallout last year. Personally, I never thought I'd be behind someone's boredom and need to start a rumor, but what else are they going to do when they're are bored...lol.

Anyway, months ago, someone else spoke up about rumors under an alias. People ask that an alias not be used to discuss this problem, so I'm not using one. And I'm echoing the alias' sentiments...please stop it! Let's work together as a community of ADULTS and squash rumors. Let's learn to identify and ignore the trouble makers...and spend time getting laid.

Apparently, rumors are going around about the ladies AND gents. So I'm starting to wonder, when you hear them, how do you deal with it? How do you respond to the rumor whore (male or female)? I would think the best solution would be to decline participation in any rumor talk. So, if someone shares with you a rumor about another provider OR hobbyist during a session, respectfully tell them that you are beyond such childish behavior (i.e., gossiping). Then, communicate directly with anyone you have heard a rumor about to see if indeed it's fact.

So do you listen to the rumors and then follow up with the person it's about or do you pass it on to others?

Are you a gent who likes to talk about your sessions with other ladies during your time with a provider? If you're a provider, do you openly talk about sessions with your clients?

Do you jump to assumptions and start a rumor when someone doesn't post as much on this board, changes their name, or temporarily take down their face photos or website for any personal reason?

Have you had to deal with rumors about you in the hobby? Did that change your view on rumors?

Are you still stuck in high school? lol.

So many questions!!

If you have any suggestions on combating rumors, I would love to hear them. Feel free to send me a PM or post them here.

Thank you,
Giamarie

**PS. No I'm not hiding out in another country living off of beans and tortillas, trying to hitch a ride to the next country, nor am I working out of other cities because I can't work here. And no I'm not trying to pass off a pregnancy with triplets as a 3.6 pound weight gain. I assure you all's good over here. lol. Oh and thank you to the two people who chose to act as adults and ask me directly if the aforementioned rumors were true instead of perpetuating something false. It's quite sad and unfortunate some people act as if they are still in high school. Let's continue to live above their low standards.

I agree that the best answer for the providers and the hobbyist is not to participate at all. Sounds like a few in the hobby do not understand what it means to be discreet. I tend to believe that if some one is talking about another person who is not present to defend themselves, they will do the same to me when I am not around..

I never had to listen to any rumors/drama/hearsay during any appointment with any provider.  If I did, I would cut it right off before it started and go back to what I was there for.

Best way to cut it off is not to listen to any of it before it starts.  I am sure most of us are in this hobby to avoid all this.  I know I am.

Sorry I am so blunt but just being truthful.

Guys will talk,
Girls will talk.
It's best you take the high road and pay this pettiness no mind.

Hell, I heard once that I had a boyfriend and a baby....I could do noting but laugh at that as it is well known I am childless and man less.

Anytime I see a guy and he gossips about another girl or agency, I just  make a mental note not to see then as well as not to serve as a reference for them.

Don't grovel on their level. Rise above, like the lady you are. Keep your think moving.

The REAL Gents will recognize this and seek you out for it.
Best wishes babe,

"Have you had to deal with rumors about you in the hobby? Did that change your view on rumors?"

Yes, and it has not changed my view on rumors, they have always been thought as bad conversation.  It has changed how I hobby and who I can and will see in a BIG way!

Is it rumor if it is stated in the first person?

Rumor has it you posted a couple sexy phone pics earlier today!  Playing within the rulz and asking you directly!

that's not even my style...but I feel it's necessary to post a reminder about the gossip and someone has to do it. Unfortunately, some people don't even know they are participating in gossip when they are. So this is just a reminder and a post looking for solutions.

By the way, I like your solution to not give references for gents who participate in rumors and gossip about other providers during a session. Good stuff. I think I will implement this one. Thank you. Now along the same lines, perhaps another solution could be to not give references to ladies who are also known to perpetuate rumors. Hmmm...

You're making me blush and I'm definitely posting more camera phone photos. Lol. Besides, it was sexy secretly taking photos in the public restroom and not an expensive hotel room. Just a bathroom with toilet paper and lipstick. Oops, did I just start a rumor?!?

Thanks for your input. Rumors are bad. It's good to know there are people like you who don't partake in the silliness. Such an attractive quality, I might add.

Xoxo.

but the damn thing must be hidden under the lock and key area of your website!

BTW, fabulous new design, who is that flower reaching for the sun and rain?  From seedling, to bud to flower you are growing beautifully!

Pillow talk / rumors can be fun and exciting, but people anywhere (not just this community) lose sight of the fact that we're talking about human beings here.  Spreading rumors & gossip can be damaging, and here, I imagine even more so.  They're hard to resist sometimes, but never stoop to that level -- you become almost as "low" as the instigator.

Two bits I'd like to offer:

1. If you hear a rumor, it stops with you.  Nothing forces you to "pass it on."  This happens to work on children well.  I had a parent tell me his young daughter got in trouble at school because she propagated a rumor.  Her defense was that she didn't start it.  Her father told her, "Well, you shouldn't have repeated it.  That is what you did wrong."

2. If it's about you or someone you care about, go after the source.  Be direct, borderline intrusive, and find out exactly where it started, with no relent until you get the source.  Then go after the source, if possible.  Be polite, or you might scare someone into silence, but be firm and don't stop.

I think of rumors as "circular"; some kind of assault on you that has no clear origination.  How do you stop a circle?  Well... how do you stop a bicycle wheel from spinning?  You shove a goddamn stick into the spokes and that thing stops immediately.  A linear, direct approach is the only thing that will stop a rumor-monger.

At least, in my experiences.  YMMV but I'd say go after the source... think Terminator, only in your case Ms. Lynn, much, much hotter.  

Unless and until this whole activity is legalized, its underground character will surely guarantee a busy rumor mill, and a destructive one.  If you hear or read somewhere that either a provider or a client is rumored to be operating some kind of LE sting, are you simply going to ask the person in question to confirm or deny it?  And if it's the latter, are you going to take that person's word as gospel?  Or are you going to ignore the information completely?  Very likely not.  But it is surely true that such rumors can very easily originate in mere malice, rooted in causes having nothing to do with the activity alleged.  Perhaps the best we can do is just to keep a clear distinction in our minds between what we have been told (or have read) and what we KNOW, and avoid relaying the former to additional parties.

Thanks for the participation here and through emails and PMs. I appreciate hearing different people's experiences and takes on the matter.

Xoxo.

that will only percipitate rumors! ha ha ha KIDDING!

I had heard you were wondering about rumors, but I didn't put any stock in it until you confirmed you were considering tackling the rumors with this post.  The word on the "street" is that you thought about rumors that were being spread and that you were thinking about addressing them.  Now, personally, I didn't believe it.  It was just a rumor, but then you addressed the rumor that you were going to address the rumors by addressing them here.  Rumor has it that you also were rumored to think about the responses to your consideration of various rumors.  I don't know if that is true (and I don't want to start any rumors), but I've heard that's what people heard about what you heard other people heard.  But, that may just be a rumor.

I think you nailed it when you pointed out the nature of what we do here.  It makes it so much more difficult to determine the truth of matters and makes spreading rumors so much easier because people are always worried about ignoring something for fear that could be the time that it proves to be true and something blows up in their face.

This inherent characteristic is what some people use to pursue grudges against others, which is pretty low, particularly considering our activities are already viewed badly by the larger world.

OH OH  Now everyones in trouble because I heard a bunch of people got together to talk about forming a committe to talk about appointing a board to vote on a council to address the rumor issue!