Hi I am a newbie and have a question about screening. A lady (outcall only) who I am interested requires so-called "light screening". She told me that I would need to provide her with my legal name, my driver's license number and I would have to show her my ID upon her arrival. She has one review at TER though I thought she could have more since her pics look very good.

Could anyone tell me is this a normal screening or I should be more careful about this?

Thanks.

You would give a perfect stranger all that private information. If I walked up to you, and said, give me your drivers license number, you would call a cop.   NEVER give out any private information to any stranger.  (don't take candy from strangers either.)  

I know, I know....some of the women here will tell you there is no harm.  Or its for your own good.  Or you get better service from women who screen.  Or any number of reasons.  But, if you look down a few posts, you will see how one provider admitted that this information could be used against you, or published in very public places.  

If you read this board, you might think every woman screens.  But, most DO NOT.  There are hundreds of providers in the Twin Cities, with great reviews, who don't screen.  Why take the risk of having your private information used against you in any way.  

And, I personally think that joining sites like p411 or anything like that is risky at best, a waste of money, since many women could care less about a verification service.  

If you are a newbie, stick with well reviewed providers, who don't require any private or personal information.  That way, you will have a long and worry free career as a hobbyist.  

And you just opened yourself to the possibility of blackmail if things go badly.  Sometimes that is exactly what happens.

Law inforcement are getting quite agressive.  La Crosse, WI law inforcement has been using ads on Backpage with success.  There have been 4 convictions of Johns in the past few months.  You never know.

I'm not sure why she would need your DL number.  
I think this would make me question her screening.  
She may be OK, but I don't know what information a DL number would give her.  Does she have a way to check license numbers?  
I think I would just move on.

I don't understand the request for DL either.  If he is LE and manages to get in her room, it really won't matter what's on his license.

You are setting yourself up for a nice case of identity fraud if you provide this information.  Providing it is way too risky and serves for no other explainable purpose.  I'm hardly the paranoid type in regards to sharing information as anyone that has seen me will attest...

Thanks a lot to all!! I think the furthest I can go is to provide my ID upon her arrival. Nothing else. Like many of you have said, I can always visit the ones with many and good reviews.

I wanted to see one established provider but was required to provide two references which I don't have since I am new to this hobby. It is difficult for me to waste time and money on someone that I am not attracted to.

...and don't start with a lady who only has one review.  No matter how pretty the pictures.

Instead spend a couple of hundred to go  see Belinda (who at his point is feeling a little turned on by your endearing naivete and will not be afraid to screen you much more gently and thoroughly ) and she will then be your entrypoint (pun untended) and it will be safe and enjoyable.  You're welcome.

Run away from this one, bad news asking for all that info. Don't provide anything that could come back on you.

As a girl who screens, I never request a DL number.  Good screening can be done with a real name, an email address, a phone number and either one or two references, or verifiable employment....such as a business on the internet that lists you employment, or one that HR will verify that you work there.

Remember the girls have as much or more to lose.  We have to make sure that you are not LE and that you are not violent or a stalker, etc.  Most girls are OK if you have several white lists on TER, or are OK'd by ladies on P411.

I actually think providing a work reference is worse than providing a DL. This is especially a greater threat for single guys. It also provides a measure of a guy's income level.

ANY verification method that discloses real name, address, employment or any personal info directly to a provider is dangerous. PERIOD! Never trust anyone you do not know. EVER! Use references, white list, or a P411 or Datecheck type verification service. Or simply move on to a provider who is willing to take some risk. There are safe ways to play while remaining anonymous.

It is fruitless to try to get others to screen or be screened the way [I]you[/I] prefer. You may think it is dangerous to share more information than makes you comfortable, but I can tell you there are many men on this board (reviewers) who have shared their info over the years (even where they live for outcall) and their lives have not been compromised because frankly their info (like yours) is not that important in the grand scheme of things. I would venture to say that most ladies just want to feel safe and at the conclusion of the meeting, they are on to the next thing in life ex. family, school, work, grocery shopping, laundry rather than contemplating on how to use screening info against their gentlemen friends. Life is short, time is money and there are more critical matters to focus one's mental energy on...xoxo

“No one is thinking about you. They're thinking about themselves, just like you.” -Olivia Joules

Realp4u, you mentioned there are hundreds of providers in the twin cities with great reviews who don't screen. I disagree with you on this.

Most reputible providers screen...they just ask for two providers references and contact them to confirm they have seen you and all is ok.  Simple...no need for DL information or your address.

I certainly would never see a provider if she does not screen by asking for provider references.

Xoxo
Amber Monroe

Most reputible providers screen...they just ask for one or two providers references and contact them to confirm they have seen you and all is ok.  Simple...no need for DL information or your address. Some providers do work verification but they still could be LE.

I certainly would never see a provider if she does not screen by asking for legit provider references.

Xoxo
Amber Monroe

I feel that your take on the screening issue is very accurate.

As one provider (under an alias) once wrote:  "I've forgotten the previous guest before they've hit their car."

In my opinion, the provider holds the cards in regards to screening. I have never sensed that a provider with established screening protocols will lower their information needs in order to book a session with me. Thus, if I want to meet a specific provider, then I will provide the information that she needs to feel comfortable for the session.

Observation:  One of the interesting aspects of this message thread is that several of the hobbyists stating their opinions on this message thread are former members of MyFastPass. If I remember the membership process for that verification service correctly, many of the personal attributes that should never be shared (i.e., real name, address, driver's license number, or employment information) were made available to the local owner/provider of MyFastPass.

We know that most providers aren't out to screw over their clients.  But most is not all and all it takes is one to cause a world of hurt to a guy.  In any event, this is a discussion about various forms of screening and I think we do understand that there is no point in trying to convince someone to change what they consider to be acceptable forms of screening.  That goes both ways.  I don't expect to change a provider's mind about how she screens but conversely don't expect me to change mine about what I will go along with.

If you were to go through the list of reviews for local girls reviewed on TER and call them, I think you would find most of them don't do any more screening than how the guy behaves on the phone.  Many of these girls have a fair number of reviews and some have many.  For better or worse, this is the way it is.

1) I can't speak for others but I did not give that information to MFP.
2) Given what happened, even though she did not surrender any client info to LE, it is not surprising that at least some former members would no longer be willing to give out information they may have previously been willing to give out.

-- Modified on 10/7/2012 12:39:55 PM

Okay
im a NEWBIE!
How do i get trust from a provider?
I have no history or references to give?

Amber, The facts just don't support your statement that "most reputible providers screen".  I think that many women who are active on this board screen, but in general, there is little screening in the community at large.  As I said in my original post, there are some people (apparently, you are one), who think that only women who screen can give good service. There are hundreds of reviews, on this site, which show that that just isn't true.    


I certainly don't care if a woman screens intently, but was merely responding to the original poster who asked if it was a good idea to give out private information.  

That's actually scary they are not screening...Total easy setup for it to be LE at their door.
I usually get 15to20 emails/calls a week from reputable providers asking for a reference on a gent.
I also get alot of reputable traveling providers requesting references.

Xoxo
Amber Monroe

A screening site...also on the homepage of TER is a newbie forum and is awesome to read.

Welcome!

Xoxo
Amber Monroe

I think giving out private information is not a good idea. But screening is so important for ladies by getting provider references and its easy. Sure, some women are new and don't know about screening.
I just want everyone to play safe!

Xoxo
Amber

I posted the original questions. Because of so many good discussions I feel obliged to let you know what happened and how I feel about this.

As a matter of fact I made a mistake in the original post. She didn't ask for DL number. She asked for the address and and the legal name. I was being honest and told her that I can provide my name and would be willing to show her my ID upon her arrival. But I have moved to this new address and haven't updated the address on my DL. But I am willing to show her some bills sent to me at this address. She was not very comfortable with this but she thinks letters would be fine. I told her that her screening request actually made me feel safer. And then she asked me if I am on white list. I said I don't know what this is since I am a newbie. Anyway, she apparently got another appt and didn't come.

Regarding screening, I think I agree with some of above comments. We are adults and should have some sense of judgement and level of comfort. A guy can provide some personal information as long as he thinks it is reasonable. It is a mutual agreement. I totally respect the lady's request to screen to be safe. But she should also understand that providing too much personal information would put the guy at a disadvantage especially for an outcall when the lady visits the guy's residence. Asking too much information sometimes just doesn't make much sense. But this should be her call.

Anyway, I didn't regret. Like a friend just told me, there are just many fishes out there.

Thanks a lot to everyone!

Happy hunting!!

But yet, is that not what you are asking ladies to do...trust a stranger?   And when we would be at our most vulnerable?    Screening is one way ladies still have control over what happens to their bodies, their well being and, in some cases, their lives.

I think screening and verification is an individual thing.   As such, a hobbyist should only give what  information he feels comfortable giving.   And, in turn, ladies have the choice to accept him as a client
or turn him away.  

This is a topic we all need to just agree to disagree on.

Do I know you?

I totally get it just like you. We must all do what works best for ourselves. xoxo

...with a gentleman friend, I can almost promise they are not thinking about how to scheme based on screening info, but maybe I am naive. Either way, I agree with you that we all have different comfort levels and should seek those with whom we are most compatible. xoxo  

I've been in your shoes.  Do whatever it takes to see a reputable, well thought of provider and you will be able to see anyone that you want to see regardless of how many references that you have.  One will be enough, seriously.  If you do your homework, you will know who to provide information to and who not to but do what it takes to see somebody reputable and discreet.  You will not be sorry...

As a provider who screens, I have seen many first timers.  There are ways to work with someone and find a comfort level.  In one case, for instance, with a real name and phone number I was able to find CL ads for items for sale that confirmed the business the person claimed he owned.  That, and a conversation on the phone were enough to calm my fears.  Make the contact, then see what can be worked out.  Being pleasant and understanding of the needs of all concerned can go a long way.

Just against verification or screening that requires revealing personal info. References by other providers and the use of verification services, eg p411, or the White List all allow for anonymity.  

Personally I'm torn on the subject.

As a long-time hobbiest I haven't had much trouble getting dates, but I HAVE missed out on several very fine ladies because I'm not on a verification board or because I don't use references.  I don't hobby so often that a lady would remember me, and I'm not giving out any personal info.

I've used a lot of agenices in the past because two forms of ID were generally all that was needed and I have several IDs that I can use.  As long as no info is recorded I'm fairly comfortable with a well-reviewed agency.

That said, the verification sites aren't all that trustworthy either.  As a retired security professional (not LE, private) I know how to mask my identity and I was even "verified" by a service under a completely false identity.  IDs, Burn phone, refillable credit card, couple of numbers that friends backed me up on and I was in.  I DID contact the site after going on one date and told them what happened.  I expressed my concern not just for the lady's safety, but MINE as well because provder info could be just as BS as mine was.  

As for the websites, I'll NEVER put my real info out there.  If hackers want it (or LE-hacks if they're investigating) they'll get it.

So bottom line for me is that there really is NO good way to verify unless all parties are honest about it.  Otherwise it's just info being passed.  BS or not.

After thinking on this for a bit, I've got a question: How doe having personal info, like a place of work, and real name, or address, protect the provider? You could have all the personal info on someone there is to have, but does that mean they will not be an abusive jerk?

It's really the references that tell the story, and unfortunately it is a chicken and egg scenario.  To have references somebody has to be the first to see you, and how many references (and from whom) is good enough?  Don't forget, it's a two way street.  You might be an extremely well known and respected provider, but at some point, some guy was your first client, and he was going on blind faith that you were legit. From that point on, references and reviews are the only thing hobbyists have to go on.

There always has to be that first step.  I don't see an easy solution to that problem. Like I said, if you see an unreviewed provider, good luck to you! She may be the greatest ever...or not?  On the flip side, you can see a guy with no references and have all his personal info,  but that won't help you if he is not a nice guy.

In my view, personal info provides no expectation of safety.  Personally for me, is the fact that I've been on TER for seven years and have reviews that is important.  I think that would pass muster with most providers, and I can live with that.

I for one, would never recommend anyone, provider or hobbyist become a part of somebodies database.

So what it all boils down to is somebody on both sides has to take one for the team for either a hobbyist or a provider to get their start.  You just have to decide if you are going to be someone who does that or not.  

that he will be a gentleman during our visit.   I can only speak for myself, but, I do get some peace of mind knowing that IF the hobbyist I see turns out to be a rapist or a batterer, I would have some recourse in knowing that I can turn his information over to LE.   I would not bother with his employer or his family but rather would call the local law enforcement agency and let them do their job.  If a gentleman is respectful of my boundaries and is not abusive, he has nothing to worry about (again, I can only speak for myself).   Is it a guarantee? NO way!!  But, it is better than nothing and, in some cases, the ONLY means that a provider has to maintain control of what happens to her body.    

And, No, I do not blacklist much.  Only 3 or 4 since I started providing in early 2008.   NONE were for inconsequential things like NCNS, being late, or for having a stinky ass.   These types of things are to be expected in this business and are not serious enough to warrant a blacklist.  I would, however, include them in a reference request scenario.

Again, only give the information you feel comfortable providing and do not overstep your own personal boundaries in this regard.  

I would need little else.......maybe a first name and email or hobby phone.

Each side can do damage to the other.  As far as being the first one to see a provider or hobbyist with no history, no there is no perfect solution.  That's why it is called TOFFT.

one provider once told me if something bad happens to me with a client and I live to tell what is it better to  give to LE a p411 ID or a real name and work info? I guess it is the latter

I guess I'd have to ask how providers deal with guys who abuse them.  I'm sure that at some point nearly all providers run into a guy along the way who does something out of line. How do they normally handle those situations? If the severity of the abuse was enough to seek out the police, how would they present your case to them?  At what point would a provider incriminate themselves and admit to prostitution in order to obtain justice from an abusive client? Would the cops even do anything about it or just throw the provider in jail for prostitution right on the spot?

I still don't understand how having detailed personal information is going to do anyone any good 99.99% of the time.

From what I have heard LE is usually more interested in pursuing an assault case than a prostitution case.  The provider can also hire a lawyer to help her deal with the legal system.

This kind of proves my theory.  If personal info is only good for going after someone who's committed a crime after the fact...then it's not really worth anything at that point other than justice.  It won't change the fact that somebody got hurt or killed.

Isn't it much more likely that good references and reviews are a much better indication of safety than just personal info?

I would ask, who would a provider rather see?: a guy who they have a ton of personal info on, like full name, address, employment, home phone, P411 info, RS2K info, but has virtually no provider references. Or, a guy who they don't have personal info and no P411 or verification memberships but has a list of reviews and potential references as long as your arm?

Who would you feel safer with on a first meeting?