As i sat on the throne this morning, hoping it would hurry up (just add a few decades to your life and the phrase "shit happens!" has a whole new meaning), I was pondering what could possibly be in store for the day. Well, the mail was not that good the past few days....more bills than checks, and i had not seen any good sales on the provider's ad site, so no money to afford you means i can still write and just bore you to orgasm.....

I have often wondered ...does it bother the provider, as they are gazing into the eyes of the guy on top pumping and sweating, the amount of nose hairs or large out of place gray eyebrow hairs that some of us have??? As the decades go by, i still remember my grandma always attacking my grandpa to pluck any out of place hair growth that he stepped into public displaying. She would always say " you have to look good when someone else is watching". So if i have not been properly trimmed, are they just not watching???
I also wondered if i am in such a hurry to get YOUR clothes off and you seem to fidget and dawdle at mine ....does that mean that maybe i should just keep mine on?? I try not to have too tight of things on and for that matter since i can't feel the cold anymore it is never due to multiple layers, and actually i guess i should concentrate on mine since it is harder to get my clothes off of me than yours off of you........and my grandma use to say "When you are with someone in a hot loving relation, instead of being presumptuous, if YOU undress them, THEY in turn undress you." Obviously she did not get much from grandpa cuz i do not think he knew the rule and she was just trying to let us know early so we could have a little more fun in life......and the outside of her pants always looked a little stained if you know what i mean.
And is it appropriate to bring your own music to the session to turn up loud with lots of drumming, on the rare occasion that Mexican food was on the menu the night before????? Grandpa used to say "if you cover the sound you can always pretend you did not smell anything" and trust me, that was one thing he was good at !!
When a review is written and they use the GFE and really don't say much about the experience, could that possibly really stand for Glad to be Free of this Experience???
And it always made me wonder, when the provider told me that the next session will be "sooooo much better" or "the menu improves each time", if i was on a test drive or had the ability to say that the donation may vary.????.......grandma used to say "you pay for what you get son" but she never seemed to have much money and grandpa was always able to hand some out whenever we asked.  
And lastly, I have been curious, if i cannot feel the temperature of your hands on my body, is it appropriate to bring a gift, say mittens or warming hand lotion, to make sure that your hands are warm if you ever actually do get my clothes off???

Well i hope these questions and answers we get from providers will help others out as just what is expected of us, cuz it will sure help me and as grandma lay on her deathbed , she said " honey, treat the ladies right in your life and you will do just fine." Hope to share Hornbody Christmas ....coming soon!!