Recently, some of you may have read of my posts on
the Erotic Highway board, concerning my interaction with a certain provider.

I want everyone to know, that this provider was
NOT Sweet April! You may have read my post on this
board awhile back, I made a public apology to
Sweet April for any hard feelings.

I would rather not discuss who it is that I have recently had differences with as it was between her and I. No need for drama.
I did not desire a relationship with her, nor did
I love her, in a romantic sense.
Rather, I had loving feelings for her, but she
chose to cross my boundaires, and I then had to
confront her, to back off, and leave the emotional
stuff alone! As I needed to keep things REAL!

I posted on the Erotic Highway, because I was seeking to understand just what it was that my lady friend was seeking from me?
I was advised by everyone who responded, to walk
away, because I was in a position in which the
situation did not bode well for me.

So with kindness, and care. I had chose to cease
my friendship with her, because she refused to take NO!for an answer. I am sad that she was not able to accept my desire to keep things REAL.

I offered to remain a client, but because of my
posts on the Erotic Highway,
she decided that she no longer desired to do business with me. End of story.

I am the type of person, that I respect and trust others when its earned, but when I FEEL disrepected, and trust is violated, then I walk
away.

To those who have offered their support, and
understanding, I thank you, but I am doing fine,
and happy.

-- Modified on 8/20/2007 3:02:01 PM

OK then, well best of luck to you.  It's considerate of you to make this post and clear up any confusion that might cause a problem for Sweet April.  Hope it all works out for the best for both you and this other lady.

-- Modified on 8/20/2007 4:29:36 PM

b_unit, for once I agree with you.  Everyone, keep your emotional baggage to yourselves.

-- Modified on 8/21/2007 10:39:12 AM

Unfortunately the air is still not clear, because all we know now is that there is a provider out there that can't keep her emotions in check.  Non of us needs problems of this type.  I just hope that I'm not seeing her.  lol  It would be nice to know who swhe is.

Here we go again. Thanks to your big mouth on the boards everyone already knows more than they ever wanted to about your first fuck up falling in love with the last provider, so now everyone has to hear about it again with someone else?

One minute you are back channeling people about how "in love" you are, shilling at every oportuniy, the next you're crying foul, putting the blame elsewhere? Your prvious post on erotic highway shows just how detached from reality you are in this hobby. It is YOU who have crossed the line here.

Why is anyone supposed to care about your emotional baggage? Dude, seriously, do everyone a favor and keep your long-winded emotional babble between you and your pshyco-therapist.    

LOL, Back channeling, Who? When?
Shilling, you bet! She is a heck of a GFE! was
then and she still is! and I would shill for her
in heartbeat!                                Love! heck ya, Love having sex with her!
Crazy? Hell ya! don't ya know I am crazy about pussy!

The hobby? what's real? its all smoke and mirrors,
and illusions! Actors and Actress's

Reality check for ya, I smell bull shit.
If you were to pull your head out of your ass, you probably would not smell IT, all in good humor of course! LOL

Hows that for reality? LOL

THANK YOU! Father, for I a sinner! LOL


-- Modified on 8/21/2007 9:37:11 PM

I should name names? Now you know that would not go over big, but you know what I'm talking about. There are no secrets in this little hobby world, word gets around fast.

Love? Well right here in your own words in the thread where you're looking for a mental help specialist (see: http://www.theeroticreview.com/discussion_boards/viewmsg.asp?MessageID=6193&boardID=20&page=1   you admit to being a "love addict", also admitting to using sex as a medium to draw into an emotional connection - with an escort mind you- , and go on to say that it is your "desire to be loved" that has the greatest impact on you. So clearly it is you who brought the emotional baggage to the table. You are looking for love in the hobby? There are so many things wrong with that proposition that I can't even begin to start.    

Correct, it is smoke, mirrors, illusions, like going to see a magic show. Most know that the magic being performed is but an illusion, and are happy just to watch the show and be entertained. It is those like you who forget that it's an illusion who end up with their feelings hurt. Not the providers fault, YOUR fault. But my main point is why are you posting this here as if someone is supposed to give a shit? Oh, I know why, you're throwing a pity party in your own honor.  

Crazy? Well, I'll let your new shrink decide that, while I keep that opinion to myself. Like my mother told me, you can't talk to a crazy person for too long without sounding crazy yourself, so farewell.

All in good fun of course. LOL There's your reality.

Yes you are so right! Those are my words.
I tell it like it is, but this pretains to my civie relationships alone. I see providers for
sex and to stay disconnected emotionally so as to
avoid any hassles or drama. I chose to stay single
because I enjoy my freedom from emotional burdens,
I pay providers to leave!
I don't fault providers for my ability to care for them as individuals, but when a provider
becomes emotionally dependent upon me, I step back, and leave! As far as love? well heck!
Love the sex, yes, love the attention, yes.
But love the person? No because I observed disturbing behaviors in this person, and as stated in other threads, I prompted the Love Goddess to present her take on these behaviors.

She did so, and anyone who gives a shit, can go
and read her replies to my inquires.
She alluded to a mixture of personality disorders
that fit the behaviors that I observed. Like you allude to, our little community does not hold secrets for long. LOL

I guess that the provider in question should seek
help from a shrink.
And Just maybe, she can get the necessary help?
But that is none of my concern as long as she does
not harass me or stalk me, or present a threat
to my wellbeing? Isbs, you appear to have quite the vested interest in this thread?
My concern at this point, is that the provider in
question, still cannot accept NO for an answer.
I desire no pity, but I do desire distance in every form, from this providers unrelenting attention.
She should get over it! and move on with her life.


I will admit that I am an actor, and I responded
in kind to the actress.
Then when the actress, began to buy into the illusion, I said See Ya!

As far as anyone giving a shit? well I was informed that someone thought that Sweet April was
thought to be the provider who I had differences
with? So I posted to keep her out of the lime light.

Crazy? well how about crazy like a FOX, LOL
Oh and as far as opinions go, did your mother forget to tell you that Opinions are like assholes!
Everyone has one! all in good humor of course!
I guess that about sums it up for this thread ?


-- Modified on 8/22/2007 1:55:28 AM

The first thread you started on this topic months ago, you clearly stated that you were seeking phsyciatric help in order to move on from this relationship, with a provider, not a civie. The fact that you are seeking a shrink indicates that you are aware of the fact that you need help. After all, one does not see a shrink to resolve another persons issues.

In the first post of this thread you stated that you tried to remain a client but were rejected, yet you later recant and say that it is you who backed away. But in fact, if you were trying to remain a client, then you did not walk away at all. You obviously wished to continue in spite of the emotional peril you claimed to be suffering from in the orginal thread. It is only due to the fact that you were refused, that the relationship ceased, you said so yourself.

You also said, and I quote, "I see providers for
sex and to stay disconnected emotionally so as to
avoid any hassles or drama." But in your first Erotic highway post you said plainly that you were emotionally attached in this case. And let us not forget, this is TWICE for you. Your first instance of falling in love with a provider was well documented on this very forum by you yourself, and you only recently appologized to her, again, publicly (and again, TMI). Your history in regards to staying emotionally unattached speaks for itself, you don't seem to be capable of it.    

You go on to talk about the "unrelenting attention", "not taking no for an answer", etc., but in your first thread from Erotic Highway, you complain about not even getting your phone calls returned. When someone won't return your calls you are being ignored, not hounded. And yet, as the thread went on, you continued to complain about being ignored and yet you continued to try in spite of being ignored, so it appears that it was you who could not take no for an answer, and the rest is merely wishful thinking on your part.

Honestly, if everything were like you decribed, you wouldn't have still been paying a premium for the time you spent, now would you?. No. If someone needed or wanted you so desperately, why would they still require payment for their time? That doesn't add up. Perhaps this is you projecting yourself onto someone else? Sound familiar? If not read your public apology to the last provider you went ape shit on.

You say your only reason for posting was to keep the previous provider you had issues with, out of the lime light. If that were the case, it would have been a very short post, but you went on to explain every last detail about your failed endeavors with someone else who has nothing to do with the previously mentioned provider. Yep, I smell bullshit.  

Crazy like a fox? I'd say crazy like a man who didn't get the girl, again. But still, if you only see what you want to see, then you are the cause of your own problem, and also I might add, blind.

But we can keep this thread in mind, so that in a few months when you go off the deep end again about the third provider who things didn't work out with, we can see how many more times you end up juggling your words. Or you could just do everyone the favor of keeping your disfunctional habits to yourself from this point forward, but I doubt that will happen, you appear to like attention.  

Good luck with therapy.

Wow this is some thread. Maybe you two should just ignore each other and save us all from this drama.

-- Modified on 8/22/2007 6:40:48 PM

-- Modified on 8/22/2007 3:31:12 PM

-- Modified on 8/22/2007 3:32:03 PM

If you keep doing it, it is fair to ridicule you.

You used up your chit fair and square.  Man up or join the provider board.

Well right you are, tb, the real issue here, is that said provider attached to me, and when I said
Back off! or I walk! and expose you for who you are, she tried to turn things around, and  humiliate me, and destroy my creditability.
Guess what? I left! Its not about love or feelings, A woman rejected is a woman scorned!
The issue was about control, power, and money!
She lost, and so she plays victim!
I won! Because I refuse to be a victim, to be controlled, or manipulated, or threatened by a very unbalanced individual. So no, I am not embrrassed, nor humiliated, nor lacking creditabilty. And ya, her dirty little secret
is out in the open now. I took my lumps, and so now I move on!






-- Modified on 8/22/2007 8:30:33 PM

Keep your head up. This too will pass. xo,K

Thanks babe! You are the REAL deal!
Always open for a hug and kiss from you! And I
always have a hug and kiss for you too!


Trooper

While many souls, think that they know what happened, and where to lay blame, they know nothing, they are unaware to say the least. Most of these people don't know you as I know you.

I told you I am open and honest, and conducted myself as such in every respect. I was honest with myself and you.
You can distort the truth all that you want, you can say that you were mistreated because of something that I did or said, but the fact remains, its your anger, your fear, and your words and actions that shed light on reality. Look at your responses in this thread alone, it says anger! condensending attitude, and distortion of my words, and actions, or of what I felt for you?

So, rather than point the finger at me, just look
at yourself, if you can, and see what I am able to
be aware of, and feel of you.
I understand more than anyone gives me credit for,
because at one time I was different than who I am now. My innerself and outer self agree
with each other, what I feel, I can accept the feeling and be ok with who I am.
I feel anger, I am angry, I feel pain, I have pain, If I feel fear, I admit thats its ok to be afraid sometimes. I have no problem to show my
true feelings, or to not feel anything at all.
The difference between love and hate is Indifference, because both love and hate are emotional feelings. What you chose to feel is your choice.

I did nothing to you, but in your mind you need
to blame someone, because you are unable to accept reality, that you can have flaws, and yet
be special, and worthwhile.

I have flaws, I know of them, deal with them
and I take care to not project these onto others.
I accept me! and Love me for who I am! I am beautifully flawed. (smile) After all, I am only human, I make mistakes, and I am wrong at times,
but I learn from my mistakes, I make ammends when I have misplaced or projected unfairly onto others. I can forgive, and well as be forgiven.
How about you?








-- Modified on 11/21/2007 4:33:12 AM

LOL, Hyopcrite, Did you know that your post is, you sharing your emotional baggage? Ya, your negativity is a feeling, an emotion.
How about you keep your baggage to yourself? As
opposed to projecting it at others! LOL
By way, I am disappointed that you desire to project your feelings of low self worth, But I am not a sponge, so keep it to yourself. LOL


Boy some people, LOL

With that famous smirk on my face. :0
wooo hooo. I hope that you find the source of your
anger, understand it, and take control over it.

Sincerely, Best Wishes!
Gotta run now,
T2

Its still there for you, I don't want to take ME
away from those who want me, But I have to feel Happiness too! because I want as well.
Respect boundaires, and don't just take to much and give back some, and you WIN! :O

I understand that you don't want me to leave. I reached out to you, but you said no.
I need more from you than this, and I cannot stay
here any longer, You are going to have to get past
your fear, and feeling that you are not worth while, you are worthwhile, and worth so much more!
I feel your pain, and understand your fear.
You are going to have to come to me now, and express yourself in person, I want to understand
better. I know its not my problem, but because I care, it is my desire to be for you too! Look at this way, We can help each other, OK? I am the same as you.

Best wishes and don't be alone
your friend always
T2

-- Modified on 11/27/2007 4:05:35 AM

What the hell, Is my face to dirty? cause I'm little bit rusty, and I don't know if I've ever been loved by a hand that's touched me, cause I'm a little bit angry, Just don't stand there and say nice things to me! cause I have been cheated, I've been robbed. You! You don't own me! ya well we just might change that, we just might feel good.
Don't rush this baby!
Ya well I will.

You pushed me away, and pulled me astray, ya
made me mad, cause Im so bad, you said I used,
but then you abused. you lured me out, and then
you laughed, cause your'e so perfect!
You think your'e so smart, so poised, ya well so what! does this mean that you are to  good for me?
Does this mean that you get to always point the finger, and distrubute the guilt?
You are so pretty the way you are, and you have no
reason to be so upset with me, cause your'e so pretty the way you are. If you could return, don't
let it burn, don't let it linger. don't play me
with your finger.

You don't know me, and you blew it, you win! but what have you won? what was the prize? ME? YOU?
If you don't have me, and if I don't have you, then we both lose. No winners here! just sinners!
and losers, saved by zero! game over, score tied at zero.  and no overtime in sight.  Its closing time, time to get your jackets and go, cause you can't stay here.

??????????????? I don't understand??????????

This was my mask talking, to remove me from harm,
and ridicule. just as you deny me, so too, I denied you as well. Now, no smoke, illusions,
nothing false on my part. All REAL, HONEST, and
hidden to protect me from harm. What you see is ME. Good Grief, Let the past events be a cautionary Tale! Remember, do not EVER back me into a corner! Fear is a powerful emotion, I am a survivor.

T2

-- Modified on 11/30/2007 6:20:50 PM

You know I miss you just as much as you miss me.

I see that you want me to leave? your message to me is to cut and run.
But I feel your anger, and pain, and at times you hate me, but you don't want me to leave.
You will have to do better, to overcome your fears, so that you can continue to receive love, and understanding, and give the same in return.

I guess that this is where I say to you, that in order for me to stay, you have to take the next step. Contact me, you know what I need. Tell yourself that you are worth it! and you can do it! Stand in the mirror each day, and tell yourself how worthwhile you are!
I know you are! that is why I have not left.
But I need you to not be an emotional BULLY.
Do you understand?

Have I ever made a claim, to you, that I am perfect? My recent posts relect my feelings,
Fact is, as far as how I feel about you, well you are a woman first. So I love a provider, who happens to be you, and you have a problem with that? I haven't crossed your boundaires, I am not imposing into your life, or business. I have always put my money where my mouth is, other than when this thread began. But my money is here now.

Its true, I am asking you to step up, and speak for yourself, It is to easy to misunderstand or mis interpet by this manner.
I am not afraid to hear what you have to say,
In fact I desire to hear what you see, feel, and think.
If you have nothing to contribute, in a constructive manner, then I guess that I have no reason to hang around.
Don't take this the wrong way, please!
I have apologized to you, and stated my feelings,
Got blown off, and yet I feel that you would rather continue to point and click at me,
without giving me any real benefit of hearing directly from you.

Its almost as if I am guilty without trial?
Even in the court system, the accused has the right to face the accuser.
All that I am asking, is simple, state your case,
through your person to my person.
I want you to have your voice in this matter.
NOT the provider voice, But YOU.
Not fair to hide behind your provider facade,
I am not judging you, nor attempting to harm you in any manner, You are beautiful beyond belief to
me! I want so very much to know you.
But if you are only going to continue to hide, then I can only conclude that this will go nowhere
for us.
I know that you love me, but sometimes hate me,
Its the same for me, at times I think the world of you, but then when I feel that you bully me, I dislike your behavior.
Dear, I am not here to hurt you, Love you YES!
Dislike you the person? NO! Just your behavior at times.
So, are you going to stop pointing and clicking?
And give me my day in court, and address me directly? Person to Person?
I am waiting! and I am hopeful to hear from you.
I want and need you, in my life, but I won't chase
or stalk, or bother you, Ever! if you don't want the same. After all, I really think you are worthy, so why do you feel or think the lesser of ME?
I will be waiting, but no more point and click!
Luv ya,
T2

First off!
I want you to consider this, Who are you?
Remember, in your own words, You are an entertainer, who uses smoke and mirrors, to entertain. Basiscally, you don't exist! But yet you want to finger point, make claims of abuse, injure and distort.
And you would say that you are a positive force?
How can that be? Remember! in your own words!
You don't exist!
How can you be, if you are not, how can you have a voice or thought, if you are non existing?

Get this! I am REAL. As REAL as it gets!
What I feel for you, is Honest and REAL, I EXIST.
What you see, is ME! nothing phony, If you want it
then you have to be REAL to me as well.
Your feeling have to be REAL, your words, Have to be REAL. I have offered you a challenge of sorts,
Come out of where you hide, EXIST and be heard.
I need for you to put up or shut up!
If you need or want from me as I want you, then you have to EXIST!

You hide behind your provider facade, so no one can see you, or know you. You allow all sorts of other negative, phony, shit to come into your life
for an hour at a time, Honey, they are not REAL.

But I told you, I am different. I am a MAN,
I put my money where my mouth is! Because I am REAL! Not a fantasy, But the REAL DEAL.
You can continue to point, click or post if you desire, but why should I pay attention?
After all, YOU don't exist, unless you step out
from the shadows, and chose to be REAL
Often, the truth hurts! you sure as hell showed me
that much.
Remember, I am a fool. Now go back and read about how I sit on a hill, and watch the world go spinning around.
I learned from this, invest in what is REAL,
I will only listen or accept what is real, and I
Only have love for the REAl you. Hugs and Kisses!
I guess that this really does sum up things and closes the thread completly.

The REAL Trooper/you know who!

Always remember, the FOOL sitting on the hill!
LMAO. YOU LOSE ONCE AGAIN! PSYCO! Did you know that they have written books on people like you?
I happen to have a couple of them that I have read. Seen you coming all the way. LMAO
You really should get that help! You really need it. I know that fear of rejection really hurts,
but sometimes the pain is necessary to make a person realize, that they have issues! Lots of them!


-- Modified on 12/6/2007 6:15:28 PM

You should know, that I really do care for you!
Remember, I told you, that I see past your front.
I know who you are, I was once like you.
I was what they called high functioning boderline.
So I was able to understand you, and why you think
and do as you do.
This was our connection. I once remember you saying to me, hey, let me help you! You can be like me! And when you said that, a chill ran down my spine. No thanks sweetie, I made it out of that
emotional and mental darkness, and into the light.
I don't want to ever go back there again.

If you should ever desire to climb out, let me know, there are support groups available to you,
to help you understand yourself, and keep yourself
based in reality.

Even thou I love you still, I knew not to trust you, because you are very angry, and extremely
based in denial of self.
You say that you could have been a psychologist,
That is can only happen when you are able to see
and accept yourself, then use your gift to help
others! Sorry for laughing, it not at you, the person, but at your behavior.

Best wishes to you! You KNOW I LOVE YOU!
REALLY!

Trooper

If you take yourself seriously, and begin the journey, and you stick with it! and do what is
required, then YOU can Have ME.
But you have to be serious and committed to creating a more stable personality. I am still learning every day, but I do have work to do on me. There are many people who go thru life, without ever getting to a point where I am at,
Hence, "The Fool on the Hill"

I could study, and become a psychologist, but my interest is in ME alone, so I can fix ME.
Besides, I like fixing mechanical stuff much better.
There is a book, titled I hate you! don't leave.
It deals with personalities, like me, and lists the support groups, such as internet message boards, and so forth.

I try to laugh at myself as opposed to get mad,
its fun to catch myself when I go back to old behaviors. I guess that is why I have that smirk
on my face. (smirk)
YOU KNOW I LOVE YOU! Really! Truly! and Sincerely.
Trooper

You keep going back to this thread, Why?
If you want answers, then step up and state your case! put your money where your mouth is!

Got something to say? then say it! Go ahead!
Speak up! I am listening, but I will NOT leave my safety, the ball is in your court now.
Don't expect me to hold my breath though.

You know why I have to stay away, its not intentionally to see you hurt, or in pain?
I am hurt as well, but its my own pain, and my own neediness but I cannot be with you, if we are going to mistreat or be abusive to each other.

I am getting help, to learn a better way,
But you have to accept your responsbility, and get help too! Then if you still desire, WE can
work together. It does me no good for you to hate me, or work against me, and vice versa.
We both have issues! I know it takes two to tangle, and I refuse to fall into the control and
power trap again. I love myself, so why would I want to send any different feelings to you?
Deal with your problem, for YOU, and then because
you have a better relationship with yourself,
it will increase your chances to have a better
relationship with others. I have to DEAL with ME.
and if only one part gets dealth with, there is
still an issue between US.

You know I love you, but when you hurt me, I don't want to give to you. I have no choice but to tend to my own needs and see that things are fair for ME. Prove to me that you are dealing with YOU, only then can you be with ME.
Best wishes for you always!

Trooper

Just an observation before I do my magic trick
and vanish,
Do you realize that you are like a broken record,
or scratched CD?
You just keep going back over the same old stuff!
I was willing to listen, and learn, but because of your inability to step up, well ya see, I just get so tired of the Its YOU TROOPER! You have got some problems! sure go ahead and use me as your whipping post, so that you can feel better about yourself.
Passive/aggressive? Whatever! Look if a person cannot be allowed to express themselves without all the negative feed back, or only to be SET UP to be the BAD PERSON,  then ya, they tend to shut the fuck up, and hide there feelings, and begin to feel anger at all the negative projections from others. But then again, that is what you desired to do to me, Right?
Well, in spite of what you continually point out
about me, I still have more good about me, than bad.


So ya, I have issues, So what! WTF! I am so glad that I was able to meet still yet, another perfect individual in you. I guess we all cannot be as perfect as you.
O Well, that's life!
At least in my world, I have others who can admit that they are less then perfect. They dare to be
vulnerable too!

I have to go
Best Wishes!

Trooper


-- Modified on 12/20/2007 4:33:56 AM

It was not my intention to become emotionally involved with you. But because of the many great qualities that you possess, well I fell for you!

I sensed of how inteligent you are, and of course you already know of how beautiful your appearence is, and of how sexually, we can light fires together!

My anger toward our interaction, was yes I had feelings for you, and according to you, you had feelings for me, We love each other!
So keeping that in mind, I am not responsible for your feelings, just mine,
I can and do love you, but its all about respect!
and feeling good about each other, not pain, nor
deceit, nor using or abusing one another.
My anger began to rise, as I felt that you were taking from me, and NOT giving back the same effort, I made that known to you! It was then that I really began to understand that I felt that I was getting emotionally used by you. That hurts! So I gave you an option, either things balanced out, or I emotionally leave you.

You want me to admit that I fucked up and fell for you? Yep! your right!
I did not cross your boundaires though! I matched your effort, I have always been holding back emotionally, because no one is just going to take from me! So with your permission, I matched your
emotional contribution to our interaction.

I was not acting, its real, and always has been real! I felt that you wanted to put a burn on me, and then sit back and laugh, thus my feelings that you are an abuser, and the reason why I posted this thread, to warn others of your hidden
anger! and desire to use, emotionally.

So you see, if you are interested, or become emotionally in need of me, you had better be willing to give back love and respect to me as well!
I did not fully understand you when we first met,
nor do I fully understand you now, but I have a better understanding of your personality and your needs now than when we met.

Now, this has gone far enough, if it continues,
then you have to risk becoming vulnerable to me,
otherwise you know I will leave, just as I did before, I will walk! I don't need the drama or pain, nor do I desire to give that to you. I want a best friend, and lover, and I will find her.

Sort things out, I will work with you! and for us,
but I will not work for you alone.
If you want commitment from me, I am prepared to give that to you. YOU of course are going to have to do the same. Be aware! The abusive interaction has to CEASE! and stay absent from our relationship. This begins NOW. This applies to both of us!
As for the next step, and who does what?
Well, don't be foolish, and think that I am going to risk contacting you first, as I had done before
You had your chances, now it is on you to approach me. If you are unable to see it through then,
Have a very Merry Christmas! and
wishing you the best!

Love
Trooper

First off, thank you for thinking of me and extending your love to me.

Can I ask you, to consider this?
S/R. have you ever considered, just how painful it is, to have someone love you, but you are unable to share a warm touch, a gentle caress,
a smile, and a sincere kiss. I need these gestures
from you! I want this from you!

Words can wonderful when spoken or written with a sincereity. But as well, when our actions follow thru with our words, then the results are so much more beautiful!
I can only hope, that my words, be it spoken, or written, are in step with my actions.

Because of our trust issues, we want and need from each other, but yet, we are fearful of each other.
That is why I had hobbied, because it was the easy way to get close to someone, but yet keep them at bay, all the while, using the sex to fulfill my emotional needs? which is all wrong of course. So now its time for me to change that, and leave the hobby behind, Take the risk, and make life and love, pay off for me. My pain, is that I want you, I want to take you with me!

I have issues, its true!
But my issues are not about hurting anyone intentionally, or taking from anyone, without proper compensation, be it emotional, or physical,
or sexual.

I am somewhat bewildered that you send your love, but yet you keep me away physically, and sexually.
That is why I feel the need to leave now, because
really, what can come of all of this?
I cannot nor will not, invest in a relationship
in which nothing can progress, or fulfill that of what I want or need.
I have been here, writing, and sharing, and it is
not getting me nowhere close to where I want things to go.

You can do the math, and come up with the answer that I come up with, ZERO!
You don't exist beyond these forum threads,
So while I do appreciate your gesture, I have to say, thanks, but if this is all there is, then
I respectfully decline, After all, its about ME too!

And what has been going on, is not enough for ME.
It may meet your need? but then again, I don't think that it really does?
We needed this time apart, to sort through things
and keep our needs in front of us so that we could
individually deal with ourselves.

I know my flaws, and I accept who I am. I want a relationship, where love is present, and we work
together to keep love present, in spite of who we are, or what our issues are. Also I have registered to the website that I pointed for you to check out, and I am in the process of locating a therapist who is better suited to deal with my issues, I received a name from the website.

I am ready to go forward, how about you? Keep in mind, that I intend to move forward with? or without you? I am tired of living with the feeling of an empty void in my self.

Its your call for you to make, and mine to make for me. I will be here until Christmas, as a gift for us. Thank you for sharing your gifts! I hope that my gifts have allowed you to feel special, because you are Special to me!

I wish you the very best! I love you deeply! Really! Keep in mind, I wish that we could close the distance between us.
I cannot forget about ME, and what I need from life.

Merry Christmas darling!

W/trooper



-- Modified on 12/22/2007 2:48:33 PM

Deep kisses to you! W/Trooper

I don't know how I feel right now, it is best that I take care of ME as well as I can. After all, they are MY feelings, My confusion, and It is My life. I take full responsibility of ME.

Can I hope for you to understand?
Take Care.
W.

You are a business woman, I was a client, things got emotionally intense,
I have closed myself off emotionally, I am not going to contact you again, I don't need your silly drama act. Oh leave me alone!

You respond to me, as a business person, and We set a date, you show up as a business person and we have FUN, You get what you want, and I get what I want.

If this is to great of a task for you, then by all means, walk away, because this is just what I am doing. The air is cleared between us as far as I am concerned. I have no feelings, I just guess that I am numb, after all the head fucking, I just went back into my shell again.

All that I want from you at this time, is the GFE,
and that is all.

You are a business woman, I am a client.
Its against my better judgement, to venture to see you again, as my distrust of you runs very deep.

I have no intentions to allow you to manipulate me
into any position in which you pull your victim crap again.
So keep in mind, that should you take up the request for your time, I desire for outcall.

Lets keep it above board, and Business.
Please get your drama needs met somewhere else!

Trooper



-- Modified on 12/30/2007 5:54:11 PM

I want you to make LOVE to me!
Don't mock ME! Love ME!
And I can do the same to you! Show Love! Make Love! and Be LOVING! project LOVE!
Not pain and anger

-- Modified on 1/2/2008 4:37:28 AM

I feel that you have abused your powers as a woman, YOU are a powerful Woman! no doubt! But what good is your power, if you use it unwisely?

If you jerk me around, what do you think is going to happen? I am going to say screw this crap, and be on my way.

So the deal is, CALL ME, or EMAIL ME and we talk or set up a date to get OUR needs met!
I promise not to humilate or reject you, but you had better be above board in every respect!


T/W

Ya see TB, she is a controller, an abuser, a loser of sorts, she gets her needs met by using men, She employs many emotional control stratigies, such as verbal abuse, and emotional blackmail, and when she gets caught, she resorts
to her little old martyr self, cause ya know,
she is so sweet, and caring of a person.

Its Ok S/R, you are not so much a bad person, its
just that you have not figured out how to grow past your adaptive behaviors, to get your needs
met, and sadly, you will continue to feel angry,
and empty, until the day, that you make some changes in how you treat yourself and others.

Ya see, alot of what I told you, about me, is bullshit, I offered it up to you, so that you could jump on it, and further believe, that you were pushing my buttons, LOL
Then I sat back and watched the show, and what an
entertainer you are!
Well all the bullshit aside, ya I got my flaws,
but not enough flaws, to allow you to place guilt
and shame upon me for who I am. LOL

All in all, I flushed you out, and allowed everyone to see how you operate, and even after I got the drop on you, You still tried to play it as if you were such a wonderful provider, and person!

Ya got caught! plain and simple as that, just like
getting your hand where it did not belong, and then you had to try to explain what the hell you hand was doing there in the first place.
Well, what was your hand doing down my pants as
you screamed rape?  LOL

Keep your snotty little fingers off the above post!
This is my thread, NOT YOURS!
So if you are going to Go, then quit talking,
and get your pretty little self over here, so that we can do better things! and screw off the c ya stuff,

Getting tired of your roller coaster unhappiness,
Get your head out of the gutter!
Are you always ALL TALK! and NO ACTION?
Cause you keep saying you love me, so ya I am waiting for you to follow thru,
and then you get pissed and say you are going to leave, but you do neither, so WTF! are your hormomes raging that bad?

I think that if you let me inject you with some of my love honey, you may in fact enjoy life.

I want you, but only if you can find some happiness for yourself.
I am sure that you source of anger is justified,
but I am not the source, or cause, so don't share
it with me, if I am not responsible.

If you got a beef with me, then speak up, and lets
fix or resolve the issues, otherwise, smile
cause I have a way to make you laugh.

W/T

Farvell, translates from Danish to English,
Farwell my friend.
If you should desire a inner leg warmer, be it a hot flicking tongue, or a hot cock,
give me a yell, I would be more than happy to accomdate. I am more than happy to donate to a worthy cause. (grin)
You just have to PLAY nice!

Don't leave, Give us a chance!
We are worth it!
I WANT YOU!

I am not some emotionless robot, fact is I am quite proud that I able to show my emotions.
Its a very mature trait to have, as opposed to those who are fearful to show emotions, or empathize with anothers emotions.

No emotions, means no ability to feel, thus what a cold world we would live in, if it were lacking people like ME!
Fact is, I am more of a MAN than some can realize!

I apologized, and I am sincere in my apology.
Can you forgive? and learn to trust, be positive
about this please!

I WANT YOU! BELIEVE IT!

The Hell with all this feeling safe, I WANT YOU!
The Woman, the Lady,
I Want more than a Service.
In any relationship, there is some Drama,
Try to avoid making to much drama, and let us be
positive! because I want you! my S.O.

I have no shame in admitting if I have feelings for someone, but I feel sad for those who are so angry, needy, and empty, that they USE others without regard to the impact they have upon others, just like the way you treated me, you have treated others as well, so who should care
about what you think, or feel?

So ya, you played around, and now you want to project the responsibility out onto others.
You lack creditability in my eyes, that is why you hide, and cover your tracks so well.

As far as who would care about my babble?
Any individual who wants to stay away from negative, angry, or generally phony individuals
physically, or emotionally, or sexually.
That is who cares! So Shawna, you do the math.

You did this to yourself, Its NOT me, (Trooper) who lied, deceived, misrepresented, or mistreated
another human, its YOU who is a liar, The one who
deceived me with insincere words, and actions,
Then you go hide behind your escort facade, and claim innocence, and cry foul if someone rips off
your cloak, and exposes you.

I still love you, because that is just the kind of
individual that I am, a caring individual.
Its a positive emotion, maybe you could try to feel it more often.

I made my peace with you, offered apologies, in person, and written as well.
I did this, because I am a stand up kind of guy!

How about you?????????
Are you able to feel remorse for you actions?????
and as well, Can you forgive????
Only you can answer for yourself, and your actions, So quit whining and playing innocent victim, and fess up! Take responsibiliy for the seeds that you sow!

And o ya, I see your anger, but its yours! not mine! Lu ya babe, you can be a real sweetheart, but you can also be a real negative presence too.

Warren


-- Modified on 1/24/2008 12:50:11 PM

Any relationship, has its struggle with Power,
Control, and Money.
This I knew then and I know now.
A healthy relationship, consists of sharing of these elements. Shawna, you wanted it all!
I said no, you kicked my ass for saying No.
Its in the past, so be bold and let it go.

Quit fuckin around, and Answer the QUESTION
No one is emotionally blackmailing anyone any longer.
So either we deal with each other. Or
GO in PEACE.

Twistedb, you are a hyprcrite, and a moron.
Your happiest day in life, is when you finger slipped thru the toilet paper, when you were wiping you ass.

Let me point out your emotional whinning, in your past post, where you cried because someone else
was using twin cities guy.
Dude! grow up! and realize, your creditability is
the least of your worries!
The provider board is waiting for you!

I can tone down my attitude, and be less intimidating.
I want to continue to pursue a dialogue with you. You can rest assured, I am not jerking you around,
I am sincere, and committed to this, as long as I feel that you are equally invested.

I realize that I should focus upon the day to day
and learn all that I can from it, but I do desire
to put in a course for the future as well.

So I live in the present, and hope for the future.
My hope, is that you will be in my future, as we continue to learn and share.
I would like to expand our mode of communication
to more of a direct approach.

In all fairness, I have contacted you, multiple times, with the hope that you will respond.
I understand that you are fearful, so I am just going to have to continue with this mode, until which time you feel comfortable to a more direct
communication. I am asking you to NOT make me do all of the work, I am hoping that your sense of fairness is strong enough, that you can give a greater effort in this. I am asking that you not become angry, when I don't meet you on your terms,
because after all, I have terms as well.
Its called compromise.

You often threaten to leave, so when do you actually intend to Leave?
Just what is it that you wish to communicate to me?
Should I really care that you are leaving?
Go ahead and ask yourself if I should care,

Not to be smug, but what the fuck am I supposed to
be getting from hanging around?
Am I getting anything worthwhile? like warm and caring attention, or support, or even companionship? or the fantastic sex that we have shared in the past.
No all I get is nothing, zero, zip.

So I guess that I have no problem if you leave.

Twistedb, You and others happen to see something
about her, that I had missed, but then again,
I was attempting to warn others, by sharing
my experience.
You are correct, I am now informed, and aware of what it was that all your others were attempting
to tell me.

Even though its a bit late,
Thanks for the heads up!

Trooper

Father, I am NO white knight! I am not trying to rescue anyone, or prove that I am any better or
worse than anyone else. If a woman has a issues, they are hers! not mine, I got my own issues, and can use a Goddess to wash away my sins! LOL
However, I do believe in honesty, being up front,
not manipulating others without regard to negative
impact that it has upon others.

As for the blessing, hey always ready to be blessed! as opposed to cursed.