Temesd,
I am still at an age where I still desire to be wild, but thoughts of settling down with a soulmate looms large. My main concern is missing that Connection somewhere out there. I know alot of people who "settle" because they stick to a timeline. Those that "settle" are happy, many aren't.
With my situation in TJ, I would have faced a fight anyway -- and perhaps a losing one. My girl is bisexual and has a novia in Mexico City that she had been trying to bring to TJ to assist and accompany her. When I met her initially, my girl was bummed out b/c her novia refused to join her in TJ and so she latched on to me. But still, there was a physical, mental, and emotional connection that developed after that first night/day together. Even before that,my girl was casing me out for a couple of days -- apparently I had reminded her of her former novio that she had been with for 4 years.
Despite all the pieces falling into place initially, there were variables that crossed things up, and communication was so vital to untangle them. Unfortunately for the both of us, our communcation skills sucked and the language/cultural barriers really nailed the coffin. In my case, the variables of sex and values came into play -- not to mention the fact that her novia decided to join her in TJ after all.
I was hoping for a higher level of relationship with this girl, but it all came down to the physical -- despite all the "higher ideals" I thought were in place. Subconsciously, I simply could not get over the fact that she has fake boobs and a fake ass, no matter how perfect her face was. I was much more interested in her mind and her story than her body. She is perhaps the most interesting and intriguing person I have ever met.
It all started downhill on the second night when we were having sex. She had just gotten off of work an hour before and we were relaxing and chatting and enjoying each other's companionship. This was a friendship make to order I thought. She showered, cleaned up, and primped herself up for the main event. She wanted sex, and I wanted to talk. But I never communicated that. I went with her wishes, was able to get it up, but she was kind of loose that day and her big fake boobs really got in the way of my style of love-making. I aborted the mission because I was deflated and really did not have the desire.
Well, especially for Latin girls, great sex equates to great love, and no matter how much I argue against this flawed philosophy with Latin women, they can never get it in the head that that is perhaps why there are so many single mothers in that culture. I will state my point here again and forever more: to base a relationship primarily on great sex is a guarantee for long-term relationship failure. Period.
Long story short, the lack of sexual chemistry doomed it all, despite all other chemistries being in full sync. My girl felt not only insulted to the core of her womanhood, but she got the perception that I did not really love her and that I had other motives, which led to mistrust. I did not know how to tell her that I loved her for her mind and heart and not her body. American girls would have loved that shit, but Latin women are a different breed.
I hope I can still be friends with her after all the bad blood evaporates, because she is a great girl.
The bottomline is that for things to really work out between a man and a woman in an HONEST, long-term relationship, the stars REALLY, REALLY have to be in full allignment. Even then, it still requires some heavy communication and compromise.
Women -- can't live with them, can't live without them. But I simply love them. Period.
Best of luck to you Temesd, and all others looking for that perfect love. To me, it is worth it.
Rico
-- Modified on 8/29/2003 1:32:01 PM
