about real names. Not sure why. I guess I do like to get to know someone; for me, it's not just about the act, but the whole experience.

But what you said makes perfect sense about helping you build confidence, etc.

I use my real name very often. Perhaps I should switch that up...

I run across the problem of getting to know a provider and either through conversation or circumstances they let me know their real name.  Once the cat's out of the bag it seems strange to me interacting in the heat of the moment.  It's like that glass barrier has been shattered and it can't be replaced.  When I see her again, calling Cathy by her stage name Petunia seems awkward.

Jayla - I understand the name thing because you have a persona or character that you have to perform to meet your clients fantasy expectations.  I think describing it as the "better version of yourself" is spot on.

As a hobbiest, I have different moods/characters that I want satisfied.  Maybe it's the dominant male, the giving guy, the horny teen lusting.  Whatever flavor I bring to the table that day, I've done some research and hopefully the interaction between us is going make for a good appointment.  If I can stay in persona the whole time the better it usually is.  

Ladies, I figure the name you give me is the one you'd like me to use.  I am super comfortable with that.  I think we're all entitled to hold back on the reality front a little bit, aren't we?  After all, this isn't reality.  Well, it's not real reality.  It's a kind of theatrical, temporary, make believe reality delimited by "the ever present line" (genuine feelings of kindness and caring notwithstanding).  What's wrong with stage names anyway?

Only once have I been privy to a lady's real name (as far as I know), and she volunteered it, I didn't ask.  She say's she prefers that I call her that.  Cool.  But it was her choice to offer it and she's very comfortable with that.

I'll call you whatever you want me to.  As far as I'm concerned, for the time we are together, that *is* your name.  I don't understand the preoccupation with getting to the truth when none of the rest of it (in terms of actual real reality) is the complete truth.

I'm just crazy about your name, whatever you want it to be.  

I actually have received a little flack, and fun teasing about my name.  I even had several people try to rename me!  I was told on numerous occasions that the name Betty is not pretty enough for me.  But, I do not think a name makes a lady great.  It's the lady who makes the name great.  

Like you Jayla, I also prefer to be called Betty when I am with a client/friend.  If my real name is called out, it dampens the mood for me.  So I rarely tell people my real name anymore.  

Originally I chose some glamorous/sexy names.  I ran the names I wanted to use through TER.  I came up with a lot of different names.  Unfortunately, all of the names I chose were already being used by other ladies.  I wanted to be original.  And out of respect for the other ladies, I continued my search for the right name for me.  

I was beginning to get discouraged.  After working on it a little longer, I went into my kitchen to grab a soda.  There on my refrigerator was my Betty Boop magnet.  Aaahhhh! There it is!  "By jove I think I've got it!"  I thought to myself.  I quickly ran the name Betty through TER.  At the time I was only running the names through DC.  So not one other Betty was found.  Yes!  Victory!  I became Betty.  Since the DC Board represented DC, MD and VA, I decided my TER handle needed to have Baltimore in it to let people know my location.  BaltimoreBetty was born.  

My TER handle is BettyCocker now.  I am still Betty.  My name has not changed.  Just my handle.  Since I spend less time in Baltimore now, it only seemed right to remove Baltimore from my name.

I love your post Jayla.  You said it perfectly.  Thank you, Betty xoxo

I don't need to know more than what is presented to me in this hobby. On the rare occasion that I do find out a providers real name, its either by accident, or they just flat out tell me. I don't really understand the need to know the providers real name. Most importantly, in the heat of the moment saying "Alyson Hannigan" is not necessary...