A woman was in a coma. She had been in it for months.
>
> Nurses were in her room giving her a bed bath. One of them was washing
> her private area and noticed that there was a slight response on the
> monitor whenever she touched her there. They tried it again and sure
> enough, there was definite movement.
>
>
> They went to her husband and explained what happened, telling him, 'As
> crazy as this sounds, maybe a little '0ral sex' will do the trick &
> bring her out of the coma.'
>
>
> The husband was skeptical, but they assured him that they would close
> the curtains for privacy. The husband finally agreed and went into his
> wife's room.
>
>
> After a few minutes the woman's monitor flat lined, no pulse, no heart
> rate. The nurses run back into the room. 'What happened!?' they cried.
>
> The husband said, 'I'm not sure; maybe she choked.'
>
>
>
> NEVER ASSUME THAT MEN UNDERSTAND
>

made me pee my undies

hahahahahahaha

So, little Johnny brings his cat into his 5th grade class one day and the Teacher, seeing it, asks him what he thinks he's doing bringing a pet into the classroom like this?  Johnny says, "but, Teacher, I had no choice.  When I was putting my jacket on to walk to the school bus stop, I heard my father tell my mother that 'as soon as Johnny goes out the door, I'm going to eat some goddamn pussy!'"