As in two years ago, I would request a whitelist from the lady after writing them a review. Granted, I haven't written any reviews or requested white list referrals since TER has returned, so not sure how the dynamics would be today. Still evaluating the new TER landscape.

I want to remain anonymous.  Its the only way a hobbyist can write honest reviews without fear of backlash.  Some, but not all, providers DEMAND high scores (9's and 10's) in reviews, which is against TER rules, but the threat of blacklisting makes some reviewers go along with these demands.  I have seen several of the ladies that post on this and other TER discussion boards, and they do not know they saw CDL.  My real-life personality is a little more conservative/professional than the way I present myself here.  If I ask for a whitelisting, then they have my CDL handle and access to all my reviews.  If they don't like what I said about them or someone else, I will get drama that I didn't sign up for.  

 
Granted, its easier to get an appointment with a whitelist, but I just give references of my last two indie providers (who I tipped a little extra when I saw them to compensate for their time in providing me a reference.  I tell them I will only give their name out twice, and most agree that is not an imposition given my extra tip).  If my most two recent references are not enough, then I will draw a line through their name and contact the NEXT lady on my to-do list.  

They just happen to come up on my profile. They're cool, and they use to be helpful back in the day but in today's reborn TER, they don't hold that weight. P411 Okays seem to be the place to get some sort of validation.

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From a lady’s point of view, references should NEVER be seen as an imposition, tip or no tip! It usually takes me 30 seconds to reply if I remember the name immediately, and maybe 2-3 minutes if I need to look him up in my notes. I love hearing that you tip the women who are giving you references, but dislike the feeling that you /need/ to. (But I agree, 2-3 from the same lady is a good limit. After that, there should be someone new to use as a ref!)

As for whitelisting, sometimes it’s an either/or deal now that TER is back up. You ask for whitelisting OR an okay— and most are choosing the okay, since more women seem to be considering those... because they became more relevant while TER was down. A lot of whitelistings are now seen as out-of-date. I know the point of them is that they’re ageless, but we want to see that you’ve visited with a provider recently and she cleared you then, not in 2018. More women looking at P411 for screening —> more men asking for okays instead of whitelisting.

Most ladies I ask if my whitelist is sufficient for reference tell me they don’t trust whitelisting. No idea why but that’s generally what I get.

I have no problem whitelisting a respectful gentlemen after 1 visit.

I have never asked for white listing. That is something that the ladies should do on their own. However, couple of nice ladies and one agent, mentioned that if I met with them couple more times they would white list me. I never repeated with those ladies