Perhaps this should be considered a rant and rave, but I am shocked at how often providers are flaking.  As a whole, I have had good experiences in the hobby.  But considering that I have been told by several providers that things are definitely slow in the Los Angeles and surrounding areas because of the economy, I just can't believe that providers can afford to be so flaky.  So I am utterly confused when I schedule an appointment with a provider, get confirmation of the appointment, and even get the location, only to have the provider flake out.  To be clear, I have done my due diligence and found providers with generally high ratings, so I guess I am confused at how these providers could get such good ratings given that when I am willing to become a patron, that they care so little for their customers.  This makes absolutely no business sense and will lead to posts like this that call out these providers (since I have no other recourse as TER does not post reviews of encounters that do not happen).  I guess for this message I would like four different perspectives: 1) To the hobbyists: how often (by percentage) are you getting flaked out on by providers once you have set an appointment (I have experienced about a 40-50% flake rate on new providers that I want to see), 2) To the providers: I'd like to hear you providers weigh in on how providers like this can potentially damage the hobby because guys like me have just gotten so frustrated that I am considering not seeing anyone new because how annoying it is to be flaked on, 3) To anyone: Is there ANY site out there that allows you to post or see a review of a provider that flakes out (Don't say RB because I have tried to do so, and for some reason, it would not post...although I have seen it happen).  4) To providers: Let me know if you are someone that is reliable and will not flake if we make an appointment together...or at least has the courtesy to call to cancel and follow up with a future appointment without flaking, understanding that my time and yours are equally valuable.  As an addendum, I would like to call out all these flaky providers as well as give props to those providers that are very considerate in being on time or at least calling when they cannot make an appointment....but I would need to know first if by doing so I would violate any rules here on TER.  So if anyone knows this, please let me know so I can call out all these flaky providers and warn my fellow TER hobbyists.

i've been having issues with the other side either not confirming after they've booked a session or just not showing up. i dont take it personally but i do get irritated with the time wasters. i dont know if they're doing it to mess around or whatever, i would never leave someone hanging.

All I can say is that it never happens
with the K-girls.
Another thing in their favor.

While there's been a snafu or two over the years, I've essentially never been flaked on by a K-girl either.  But in a fairly recent post, a couple of guys suggested they always get their preferred time even with popular girls.  They didn't go into details about whether they call on short notice or whatever, but one guy inferred some unlucky guys get bumped by bookers when regulars call.

To me, that would qualify as flaking but I've never heard any bitching about guys getting flaked on by K's after making an appointment (to include getting cancelled out or their appointments switched to another time or girl).  So - wonder how much (or little) bumping is going on because it would seem bad for business.  I doubt established guys are getting bumped and would think many established guys have already pre-booked with popular girls.  That would suggest to me close to nobody is always going to get the time they want when they're calling a popular girl unless they are real lucky, are pre-booking well in advance, or go for later in the day/night appointments.  I always book for 11 or 12 (or 12:15) but seldom go far anything later.

If I was going to guess, I would say that guys flake more often than providers do.  I have not had many problems with providers being flakes, but it has happened. Of those providers who often flake or are otherwise not reliable, I suspect they are more often in the subset of providers supporting a drug problem.

Guys flake for many reasons:  Getting out of the mood.  Being someone who just wants to be funny and mess with people.  Getting confirmed later the a different provider they really wanted to see and not being polite enough to cancel the first.  That list can go on and on.  Actually I suspect guys are worse about this.

He is so informative and that is exactly what happens in this industry. Most gents will have plan A, B, and C.

I would never flake on a gentleman that is verified and confirmed. But I have been "flaked on" over the years, it just comes with this business.

♥ Ava

I pull up in front of building, and make 2nd call.  Booker says "Sorry, you are late".  5 minutes is late?

Yup, 5 minutes late I lost the appointment spot.  or they gave it to a regular.

Yes, it was a K-girl.

Because of traffic that I don't anticipate, I always call the booker when I'm on the way if I think I'm going to be a little late, even 5 minutes for fear of losing the appointment.  Each time I have called to say I may be 5-10 minutes late, I'm always told that it's okay.

What normally would have been 5 minute drive, if not less, turned into 15 minutes.

At least I ended up with a good handle

In the old days before internet access and TER, I was flaked on a fair amount.  Usually, I was at the first location at a pay phone calling for the address and no one would answer or I would be told she wasn't available.

I posted here a year or two ago to vent about a popular, highly reviewed Asian provider that kept cancelling on me.  At least she would contact me via text or call to cancel and apologize.  I'm glad for that since I never made the drive to her place to find out then.  She flaked on me 3 times and I ended up never seeing her.  

Recently, I made an appointment with an independent porn star that ended up with her cancelling on me while she was on her way over.  We are still on good terms, but I haven't seen her yet.  She was 45 minutes late and it turns out she fell asleep.  Then, she got a speeding ticket on the way over and by then it was fairly late so she called it quits for the night.  Because there was communication I was fine with it.

I know what you mean.  I'm fairly close to some of my appointments and figure I can just zip on over in 10 minutes or less.  As you know, not always the case.

I almost always pre book and ask for the first appt. of the day 11AM.
It's extremely rare for me not to get my time that way and in the last four years
maybe I've been cancelled 2 or 3 times for illness.
2 or 3 out of maybe a couple of hundred is pretty good.
It may happen to a newbie but I obviously haven't found it
to be a problem.

Always call if you're running late.
I do and they understand.
If you show up late without a call they probably
think you're flaking on them and I'm sure they
have plenty of that.

Now that's a good way to get blackballed.
Anyone who has been doing that has probably
lost many of his options.

And you believed all that???
All she did was be polite and
probably went to a higher paying
or more convenient appointment.

You may be right, but I had no reason not to believe her.  Her reviews were awesome and never mentioned a penchant for cancelling appointments.  In this day and age word gets around.  I appreciate that she was polite.  Unfortunately, she was hard to get hold of and eventually, I gave up and don't regret not seeing her.

They turn their phones off and miss bookers need to confirm text/ call , get stuck in traffic and then at the last minute call to cancel (losing a K-girl a donation) ,they double book, again waiting till last minute to cancel. (cause for black listing) and at last minute decide not hobby. Unforunately as much as we deny it in  K-land they guys do on occassion flake.      

You make my point my friend. If she were truly polite
she would have tried to make another appointment
at yours and hers earliest convenience. Instead you
couldn't get hold of her and finally had to give up.
That's not polite. That's an inconsiderate narcissist.

Yeah mufftime no doubt when you or I contact a provider it is often like a breath of fresh air for them.  I see your history, you and I are credible and it shows in the history.  But it is not always as simple as that and not as simple as blacklisting a guy.  I question if most guys here really understand just how much shit providers have to put up with sometimes from flaky guys.  Over the years I have gotten to know certain providers really well and seen some of this happen in person.  They don’t vent about it here for obvious reasons, but I can vent for them since I have absolutely no interest in sessioning with any guys here.  

First thing to think about is what would happen if your phone number was on the Internet with a CV ad and hot woman’s photo.  First of all you have the clowns that find CV and don’t even intend to hobby but just want to be an ass.  First problem a provider has is to determine if the guy is legitimate.  At first for all she knows it could be some zit faced high school senior with $10 to his name who stumbled on CV and wanted to see what would happen if he called or texted.  Plus there are lots of other clowns out there who just want to be an ass.

Then there is the screening process to get through.  Yeah, some of us are very easy to verify as legitimate, a breath of fresh air for them probably, but what about the guy with no reviews, or maybe one of two reviews, and no easy references to check?  Do they simply pass on that guy or take a chance.  Even if a guy gets blacklisted or whatever there is not much to stop him from getting a new TER handle and new cellular phone.  When you see all of the hobbyist profiles out there with almost no historical activity it makes you wander.   I have gotten to know some providers well enough to have had the privilege of seeing some of the “provider lounge” discussions and “provider blog” pages along with some of the bells and whistles on the provider side of sites like P411.  They have tools for screening guys but it is not 100%.  Here are three provider experiences I have seen over the years as an observer:

1.  Was visiting a provider I knew well.  We were not on “rose” time, it was a social visit so no big deal.  She gets a text from some guy who must have been having a major horney attack.  He just had to see her in about a half hour.  She tries to get screening information and the guy gets argumentative about giving it but does finally give some.  She is trying to use her computer to screen him at the same time so he is on speakerphone and I can hear what an anxious dick he is being the whole time.  She says she will call him back.  Then as she is trying to finish screening him then get back to him, the knucklehead is calling back about every 5 minutes trying to either verify her location or when she can see him.  She decides to see him anyhow even after all that.  Then he reduces the amount of time for the session because he just has to be somewhere right after.  All the time she is also trying to get ready for him.  I leave so not to create an awkward moment and she can finish getting ready easier.  Then the guy must have had a wet dream in his pants or something and flakes.

2.  Here is another classic.  Guy contacts this provider I know.  She screens him and verifies he is a medical doctor, etc, and decides he is fine to see.  She spends about an hour getting ready for a late evening outcall and proceeds to his location.  All this time she is thinking she is going to a nice house in an affluent area.  Next thing she knows she seems lost and calls him for better directions.  Turns out she was in the correct general area, but it is not residential.  It is a dark public owned building the guy apparently works at.  This is late at night with no one else around for probably ¼ mile.  All of a sudden she has one of those “oh shit” moments and realized that is not the same guy she thought she was screening.  He either had the same name and lived in the same general area of used an alias.  Now I have to ask, what kind of moron would think a lady would be comfortable meeting a guy for the first time in a deserted area of a public building late at night even if he did screen accurately?  He should have at least had enough common sense to tell her about set up in advance.  So what did she do?  She just turned the car around and went home.  Yeah, in a way she flaked.  But who can blame her, it beats the hell out of risking wearing a body bag.

3.  Then we have one of the guys that did the Plan A, B, and C deal.  This was a provider I know personally and not for sessions.  She gets a text message from some guy wants to book two hours starting in an hour or two, somewhat short notice.  He seems to check out so she sends another text to finalize a time.  She was also having a car problem and asked me to drop her off down the street from the hotel.  So due to the driving time she has to assume it is a go and starts getting ready.  She is rushing around, in the shower, fixing hair, trying to decide what to wear, and waiting for the guy to confirm the time.  Mind you, I am kicking it there watching all her effort trying to get ready with increasing frustration waiting for the confirmation.  They guy never contacts her back to finalize the time and she wasted well over a half hour getting ready so she could be sure and get there on time.  

Those are some things to keep in mind next time you cancel an appointment.




-- Modified on 5/14/2012 8:50:39 PM

no texts or calls to cancel. seriously. i'm pretty sure someone is messing with me. this really blows.

That would be annoying to say the least.