Los Angeles

Re: SUGGESTIONS ANYONE?
Rockandhardplace 146 reads
posted
1 / 18

A must reading  and apply for both parties- provider and client.

mattradd 40 Reviews 126 reads
posted
2 / 18

Every time such a thing gets posted there the OP gets bashed, and the inevitable provider bashing post soon follows.

Some guys just don't get it. You can take a shower, then jump in your car, and if you've been seated in that seat you've sat in for umpteen hundreds of times, for more that 10 or 15 minutes, there's a good chance that you can have an order building up already.

I always take a shower upon arrival, whether immediately offered or not, and take one before I leave. If nothing else, I figure it gives the lady a little more peace of mind, which helps her get in the mood even faster. But, hey! I could be wrong! ;)

2fun2tellU 673 reads
posted
3 / 18

It just seems so hush-hush for providers to talk about things like this but I feel like every gent out there could get even a little something out of this, so I am going out on a limb and putting a totally comedic vibe to a serious topic.  Read it as if you were watching an SNL skit and keep the tone light, its meant to be funny!

Call it: "Visiting with a Provider 101"

Today's Topic: "Washing Your Junk"


Every single time I meet someone, I can guarantee you that about 40 minutes before he got to the door, I was taking a bath or a shower.  I make sure I'm smooth, soft, and clean, and there is no deviating from that, ever.  I might have already bathed earlier that day but it doesn't matter because meeting with a client demands that I be fresh AND clean or freshly cleaned, what have you.

When a gent comes over I offer him the option to use my shower, which I make sure is always super clean, well-stocked with the nicest products and fresh, clean luxurious towels and washcloths.  I make my bathroom inviting, and this is my way of encouraging my clients to get cleaned up before we relax together.

The offer to use my facilities is turned down about 50% of the time.  I immediately, optimistically imagine that it is because he just came from somewhere where he just stepped out of a nice hot shower...the kind where the bathroom was so steamy it would make my mascara run down my face and my hair frizz.

Sadly, that assumption is not always right and I'll leave you to figure out how I come to that little realization.

Guys, here is the thing: Unless you took a shower, got in the car for under an hour and came right over, you pretty much should shower before any sort of playtime.  Frankly, you sweat down there, even when seated and not doing anything other than driving on the 405 or the 101 with the traffic moving well (when does that really ever happen?), it still will get smelly pretty fast.  To add to that, we are in the LA summertime now, so its more important now to make sure you wash up because you get hot easily and thus, smellier faster....and if you don't shave that area, its even faster.

We as providers want to offer you the best experience possible, and it would be much easier to do that when we know we are working with cleanliness and didn't really have to hold our noses, because that's just not hot for us to do.  When its clean down "there," we can give you more and we know you like that.  

Have you ever been with a woman and wondered why she might not be that into your BJ when you know its something she enjoys doing?  Ask yourself this first, were you freshly washed?  Come on, were you?  Hmm, admit it, I might have a point here.

So this week, we have for you a handy checklist to review before arriving at the door of your next provider visit...

Questions to check if you need a wash:
1) Was my shower over an hour ago?
2) Was I just sitting in traffic?
3) Is it hot outside?
4) Are my boxers/briefs a little wet?
5) Am I sweating?
6) Have I been at work until now?
7) Am I coming from my Mixed Martial Arts lesson with George St.Pierre?

If you answered "Yes" to any of these questions, then you need a wash!

I can understand if you guys don't want to get into a full shower, but you should still at least adjourn to the restroom to "Sinkwash your junk" as Francine from American Dad puts it.  While you're there, make sure your underarms and breath don't smell either.  

And a BIG one to remember...wash your hands!  If you were just touching your car or picking your nose in the car on the way over (its okay, we know a lot of you guys do that when you drive) and then you want to touch us with those same fingers, wash them first!

Load up with soap, wash the heck out of your parts from front to back, dry up, and go have some fun!

...Thank you for reading.  This has been "Visiting with a Provider 101."  Visit with us next week where the topic of discussion will be:  High thread count sheets...are you just getting screwed over sheets and in the not in the way you were hoping?

sarahsinclair 167 reads
posted
4 / 18

Perfect. What an excellent writer. Truly subscribing in hopes to read more of your terrific "newsletters and announcements" ;=) Thank you ~ Sarah

DarkGonzo 29 Reviews 136 reads
posted
5 / 18

You know... we're all over 18 (at least you better be) and should know this by now.  Jeez, it's just dating behavior frankly.   Good to hear it from the providers perspective though.   I think some guys tend to forget that you have a better time when your girl is having a better time too.  This is just all a part of treating them right, the way they deserve.  

Thanks for the tips.  Keep 'em coming.

dealeydaly 35 Reviews 222 reads
posted
6 / 18

Truth be told, I only do Outcall and I time my shower so that I am ready with less than 10 minutes to spare right out of the shower.

I Triple clean EVERYWHERE...I MEAN EVERY NOOK, CRANNIE, FOLD and ORIFICE...if you catch my drift...I mean everywhere.  I use slightly aromatic soap, like Irish Spring, so I exit the shower smelling squeaky frikkin' clean.  On top of that I shave and re-shave around my mouth for that pussy eatin' smooth feeling around my lips so that there's nary a trace of stubble to injure those precious lips of yours...

I hardly ever use Cologne...but once in a while only the slightest spray of Fahrenheit and that will be it.  The less done, in this dept. the better...

I hope that I pass Course 101.

Eve77kn See my TER Reviews 173 reads
posted
7 / 18
dontleavehomewithoutit 113 reads
posted
8 / 18


END OF MESSAGE

Howard-Roark 138 reads
posted
9 / 18

Thank you, I had a nice laugh.  You are so correct!  Personally I always shower and wash my hands even if the woman attacks me at the door.  It's always been a shame to sometimes ruin the spontaneity of the moments, but in the long run, the ladies truly appreciate it, or so they should! It shows respect to them and that you care.

Now, I would like to request that you reveal yourself no alias since I would like to PM with you.

Thanks.  
HR

kittywomp See my TER Reviews 130 reads
posted
10 / 18


OMG...thank you SO much for writing that very thorough and direct, and not so subtle, (not that it should be), post on the discussion board. I am fastidious about my own cleanliness and can't believe when a guy walks in my door and is visibly schvitzing and sweating, but declines a shower, even a soapy shower!  Shocking, huh?
I'm with you 100% and wish it was required by law...wait, hang on...this HAS to be legal since we are just providing a service or 500. Don't get me wrong, my darling hobbyists, we love you and appreciate you but please, wouldn't you want US to be fresh as a daisy?

boxtop 14 Reviews 110 reads
posted
11 / 18

Best post I've read in a while, contribute more often :)

Mr. B

2fun2tellU 123 reads
posted
12 / 18

It looks like this is going to be a bi-monthly "column" on the forum here.   In light of that, I want to know what sort of subjects you think would make for good reading?  After all, I am a provider and I do aim to please.  ;-)

Guys and girls alike should chime in.

Remember, anything you suggest will end up being spun around to be funny, so even if you think your suggestion might be a little rude, you should still suggest it.  Even if you think your suggestion sucks, you should still suggest it.   Your suggestion might just give me inspiration for another idea or I might take what you said and run with it.  

Have fun with this everyone!  Its meant to be fun, funny, and functional.  (ooh that was nice, I just came up with that one just now)

Dbara 19 Reviews 117 reads
posted
13 / 18

all these Kgirls doing the rim thing... I'm cool with it... but does a guy need to be hairless there? or just squeaky clean soapy finger - his or hers - 3 times up the anus in the shower - and bon appetit???

Number 6 124 Reviews 118 reads
posted
14 / 18

If you just came from a "lesson" with GSP, chances are you're going to need more than a wash.

Still, good advice. I play mostly the K-girl circuit, and the shower (with the girl bathing you to her specs) is usually part of the service. Obviously, they're pretty smart about this...take something which might be a chore, and make an activity out of it.

Clean_hobby 97 reads
posted
15 / 18

You are such good writer. Can you write a series of Hobby 101 for all.
I have seen a couple providers whom I would love to return visit. BUT, when I think of their halitosis, I got turned off. I don't know how to tell them that Listerine can expand their fan club.

Sexy Gymnast See my TER Reviews 104 reads
posted
17 / 18

Hilarious!!!! Signing up as well. ;;) lol

Sexy Gymnast See my TER Reviews 85 reads
posted
18 / 18
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