I just did my last screening.

From now on, if references and whitelisting is not good enough, then the time ain't good enough.

No more work phone, employment, real names. I ain't gunna do it.

Seriously, I am done with that.

It's crazy and it's not safe. These agencies keep your info on file no matter what they tell you.  If over thirty reviews and being white listed by six top local providers is not enough then I'm movin on.
This is exactly why I like independents and try to avoid agencies when ever possible.  



-- Modified on 9/23/2011 4:42:47 PM

but if you were in their shoes would you let someone use your body without even knowing his name? I would not...what if the guy did something bad to you and you live to tell...le does not take whitelists...

Who did you screen with?  TER reviews and whitelists are always good in our book!

I am willing to give references.

Someone just made a great point in a PM to me.....

Why can't we ask for real names then?

and? we give our names to strangers on a daily basis(businesses, etc) we talk on the phone with strangers and give them our SS# and CC #..and you cannot give your name to a provider??.

I would agree with you if you have multiple reviews, are whitelisted, etc etc, there really isn't a need for going further than that imho.  However, if u are new, I can certainly understand a lady wanting to know what she can about you.  She basically has no other way of verifying you.

As far as a lady giving u her real name, lots of reasons why a lady won't or should not do that.  I think we all know what those would be.  Does it happen?  Of course it does.  I know many ladies first names and they know mine.  But there has to be a level of trust before that could ever happen.  On both sides.

My two centavos

Bond

because  that could come back to haunt me.

But would accommodate whatever I consider a reasonable need for a provider to feel safe, including producing formal ID but no work phone # etc .

I am very comfortable with the K-girl screening system it has worked for them and continues to work for me. Once you are approved by one reputable Booker it carries on to the others.

want 'name of employer' or will job description do?  ex.:  'journalist' vs 'sports reporter for the LA Times'

I sent an email request - with my usual stuff - TER info, P411 w/19 okays / and one solid reference - and that works all the time. This email response came back with - fine, please schedule the day before and include 'occupation, age, nationality and cell phone'.

I'm ok if she simply means job description - but I will not give my actual place or name of employment, because it is a business... MINE and a partner is involved. I draw the line there as well, if my obvious stuff isn't enough, I'm moving on.

She did NOT ask for my real name, so I am thinking a general description is all she wants.

Most Guys are just as scared as we are (At Times)....

Law Enforcement invades are private boardes like we are criminals - so what are we to do?  

SCREEN!  

I feel ya Spin and it sucks.

I hate to screen, however it's a NECESSARY evil...

Relax and just let your "choice" of companion screen you.

xox-
Y*

If recommendations  and  whitelist referrals along with a direct PM on TER, which
really validates the hobbyist, isn't enough then it's time for us to move on.
There are plenty of ladies who will accept what I have just mentioned and
the necessity for anything more is just paranoia.

THank you MUFF!  Well said...
xox-

I've heard from  a few of my regulars that they don't mind when the girl contacts them to verify a client but they don't like it when agencies call them to verify. Has anyone else experienced this?

Sure, it's a pain --  but from a provider's perspective -- even if you have a handful of reviews, it doesn't really mean squat.  You know how many guys write fake reviews?  I would guess, a LOT.   I think if you are cleared through P411 or some type of service like that, that should be good enough.  There has to be a level of trust on both parties.  If you're not willing to take that risk, then that's fine, move on to another provider if you feel the screening is too invasive.

I saw someone in New York several years ago.  She was nice, sexy we had a great time and started talking.  At one point she tells me shes thinking of changing her email because she's pretty sure the guy who set up her web site (very basic, not professional) is reading her email because he's acting jealous.

Imagine how happy I was to know my real name and phone # might be in the hands of some jealous male friend of hers.

validate what?? if someone write a bunch of fake reviews and sends a pm to a lady is that validation to you??

you on the other hand assume all of us give out ss# and cc# freely - no provider ever asked me for an SS# or CC#. I only do that on secure sites. This guy is saying the web master set up the email response to send a BCC to himself - that is totally different and also, the provider may have been totally in the dark as to that set up... and that is a reason to be cautious.

if you can't see that, change your cowardice alias to mammaISloco

Sure - a guy can post a bunch of fake reviews - and I doubt he will have any white list referrals. Let's say he is clever enough to have a few lady friend who will do white lists for him - and he is what ??? you have to check who gives him the white lists - you also have to check and cross reference who he has reveiwed, etc etc...

that's a lot of work - but that is what many of us guys go through to feel comfy scheduling an appt

there is a happy ending here - guys with a lot of reviews, posts and white lists - you read a couple of reviews, you see that they see quality ladies - that makes the process a lot easier and quicker... but you need experience to pick up on that - I sense you do not have that or have been playing at a lower end of the hobby ???

This just happened to me - after some back and forth email she asks, 'why so many Dallas reviews' - so I give her an answer that fits - it only fits because it is truth and she is experienced enough to know that.

Also, you have to learn how to check reviewer history and white list referrals - there's an art and it takes time - if you aren't willing to do that, or even learn it - those of us who have paid the price are going to the ladies that know how to check us out.

I recently wanted to see someone after giving her 3 references ,she then wanted my first and last name .i gave her my first name but she wanted my last name .I told her you cant even give me your first name but after 3 well reviewed girls you want everything from me . I told her if you dont think thats enough information I wish you the best of luck .I never heard back from her and she lost a great client in myself . I cant stand giving references out and you dont even see the girl .

what is this issue you have with anyone that use an alias?

i've noticed anytime someone uses an alias you call them a coward or chicken shit.

maybe that person is married or something or has a provider girlfriend like i did and so don't want to have them find out.   stop being an ass and calling people cowards and such when you know nothing.

hmm...since your so fixated on not hiding anything...why don't you give me your address and social security number.  



-- Modified on 9/24/2011 12:36:11 AM

You say you are a great client... you saw 3 well reviewed ladies... and guess what ???

you have posted no reviews - so THAT is saying 'I take from this community but I don't give back' So get off your high horse and realize - that is not the best way to break into this scene nor get any sympathy.

so TELL US who are these 3 well reviewed ladies??? Why didn't YOU review them, even one? Why didn't you get a white list from them, even one of them?

But I do commend you on your boundaries and principals - I AINT PLAYIN NO GAMES !!! good for you, that all caps attitude speaks volumes... let us know how that works for you.

as I am laughing - I only call out cowardice alias posts when they are truly that.

Clearly you don't know what you are talking about - I have made several posts asking for opinions KNOWING and ACKNOWLEDGING alias's are necessary ...

The moral of the story is this .... when someone is posting in alias form for a cowardice reason - I will call that out... I have no tolerance for that, get it??? and if you don't like it, tough shit, I am here in my real name - where are you??? When there is a legitimate reason for alias use, I know that, I've been on TER for nearly 10 years!

And if I am WRONG - I will be the first to admit it and apologize. You have to understand, using an alias creates... 'no one knows who I am, I can say whatever and get away with it' most of the time the novice alias user does not know the mod knows who you are and if you really get crazy or stupid, you will get outed... experienced TER users also know that alias posts that get supported with alias's are often the same person. I saw that called out numerous times 8, 9 years ago.

So please understand this - the posts from mammalucca above ( and obviously you)  are clearly from a low level of experience or she would not have asked those questions the way she did, or fired back her retorts... no rocket science, no judgment - I was just trying to let her (it- the alias) know, there's more integrity coming from the guy who posted than from her post - and then add in the fact she is posting in alias form ... so please don't embarrass yourself with a response...

oh, I forgot - you are in alias form.... so fire away

-- Modified on 9/24/2011 1:47:58 AM

I think you're missing the point.  I was fine giving that information to the provider.  I was not fine with the possibility it was ending up in the hands of someone who had no business knowing it in the first place, especially a jealous guy.

It's true that we all give sensitive information up pretty freely in everyday life, but I'm fairly certain if Time Warner knows my credit card or social security number it won't be used to black male me and can't possibly cost me my marriage.

I have been white listed for referrals on TER.
I have been verified on P411.
I have been verified on RS2K.

If any one of those verifications is insufficient for a provider, I don't see her.   There has to be some point at which a gal is comfortable.  It is her choice, but those verifications are not acceptable to her she can see other clients.

Just saying.

Interesting dialog about something that has probably affected all of us.

As someone else said, there are two sides of this story that are equally compelling.  On the one hand, there is, it seems to me, incredible risk to the woman -- physical, legal, phycdhological -- in letting essentially a stranger into her room or home without at least a minimal amount of verification from someone else that the person safe.  On the other hand, it is also a risk for the hobbiest -- legal, career, marriage, etc. -- in seeing someone who is likewise a stranger.....especially private information that can be tracked.  Some of it may be paranoia, but paranoia is not an unreasonble human response when stakes are high enough.

The TER boards, allowing for some unreliability in detail and occasional falsehoods, provides a certain amount of risk reduction for the hobbyist.  The question is what is the required equivalent for the provider?  Certainly TER's White List is a good option, but not everyone has White List references; so what is the reasonable and fair option?

Fom my perspective, I don't mind providing references.  That's reasonable and provides some assurances to a woman that this guy isn't some raving maniac or undercover LE; but, for me, the logic falls apart when I am asked not only for references, but for my first/last name, occupation, work number, AND, occasionally, to see my driver's license.  My first reaction is that if that is the case, then it seems reasonable that I should have YOUR real first/last name and to be able to see your driver's license. But, of course, that is never an option; so when I feel I am being over-checked, I politely decline and wish her the best.  

This may work with some but it may may not be acceptable to K-girl bookers who ask for a referral from another K-girl Booker.

Providers and agencies have their own screening criteria based on our comfort zone we go with one but not the other.ultimately we settle for what we feel is best for our circumstances.

That is PLENTY of verification! I do think some ladies go a bit over-board!! But in defense of the overly cautious, that IS their perogative. They have to do whatever makes them comfortable. There really is nothing worse than being in a session fearing for you safety, trying to "act" like you're having fun hoping and praying that this isn't the one that's gonna put you on the cover of some newspaper as "Dead Girl Found In Hotel...Police Have No Suspects" Eeeeek! Believe me BEEN THERE DONE THAT before I found TER. It is an aweful feeling!! So if you think what they require is extreme, then just MOVE ON! there are plenty of other "fish" in the sea..( OK , FISH may have been a bad choice! Tee hee!)  FEAR can be irrational sometimes because it is FEAR! Think of all the crazy phobias people have !
Fear  is very poweful so cut the ladies a break and just move on to the next hot provider on your list! Happy hobbying everyone! XO

This is intended for the "less educated" crowd.  Most of you guys here on the boards already know and understand this.  However, it never hurts to re-iterate these most basic of hobbying concepts and to educate from the provider's side:

Having your real first and last name, your place of employment, and/or your occupation does not go far enough in telling me whether or not you are safe and respectful during an appointment.  I hate to say it this way, but what good does it do for me to have your real information if you turn out to be a psychopath and end up killing me?  I can't very well use that information if I'm dead, now can I?  

I ALWAYS need to hear from another provider that has seen you before, 2 actually.  Whitelists, P411, RS2K, Date-Check...those are all great and I do so appreciate having those sent to me along with references because they put me even more at ease.  Those are great sites to use that really do help with the comfort factor and it does speed up screening.

However, there is NEVER a sufficient substitute for hearing from another reputable and well-reviewed provider.  Besides, she might have some useful information to give me that will help me to be better prepared for our encounter.   Guys, you do want us talking to each other.

What I need to know before we meet is that you are safe (you won't hurt me or stalk me), respectful of boundaries (you don't overstay your time), you adhere to the rules (donation/protection), and you won't try anything funny (anything that would include doing something out of the norm or something I said I am not comfortable with).  

The ONLY one who can tell me these things about you is another provider who has spent intimate time with you.

If you don't want to share your real name with me, that's fine.  I don't want to share my real name with you.

If you don't want to tell me where you work, that's fine, I don't plan on visiting you at your office.

If you don't want to tell me your phone number, that's fine, as long as you have plenty of references to back up your name and email.   Besides, I hate the phone and you don't get to have my phone number until the day we are set to meet anyway.

But you MUST share with me your "hobby name," email, references, and TER ID.  Those are not unreasonable requests considering what you get in return.  

I know most of the guys out there don't have a problem with the screening requirements, but there are still the select few who will email and say, "I'm a nice guy," and expect that will suffice.  There are also guys out there who think one reference from an obscure provider is enough.   Those are not the type of gentleman I would see, since following directions seems not to be something they know how to do.  And I believe I did already highlight why that is important.

And to the guys who have been around, especially "Spin," if we as providers can have our boundaries and be entitled to them then I think it's only fair for you as hobbyists to have your boundaries as well.

Cheers!!!

It certainly is validation. It's not just the reviews. It's the white list referrals
and more importantly it's the PM. You can't PM if you're not a VIP member.
Anyone can say they're the TER handle. Only the VIP member can PM.
You can take that one to the bank.

You're right on most counts. However, you can't tell if
the caller is the TER member he claims to be unless he actually
can PM you. You can talk to other providers who highly  recommend,
let's call him Mr. X, but without that PM you don't know if you are really
being contacted by Mr. X or someone who is claiming to be him.
Just a little precautionary advice for a lovely and one of the brightest
ladies I have met in the business.

A simple PM will go a long way.

And I totally understand, in fact I want the ladies to feel as comfortable and secure as possible. Better for them and really better for me as well.  Stress is the enemy of a good time!  I've never had a problem with the provider herself.  My white-list status and review history has always been enough. A quick PM to verify and we're set to go.  My gripe is with the agencies. Giving a third party too much personal information is very dangerous. Remember Elliot Spitzer?

And I totally understand, in fact I want the ladies to feel as comfortable and secure as possible. Better for them and really better for me as well. Stress is the enemy of a good time!  I've never had a problem with the provider herself.  My white-list status and review history has always been enough. A quick PM andd we're set to go.  My gripe is with the agencies. Giving a third party too much information is very dangerous. Remember Elliot Spitzer?

"Stress is the enemy of a good time,"  I really love that.

And I agree, I wouldn't want to be in your position and then have to give my information to a third party either.  Heck, I don't share my email address or phone number when I'm out shopping and right before you pay they ask for that for their "mailing list."  

Which is why I almost always insist on the TER handle so I can initiate a PM and get the response.  That should be common practice for all the ladies out there and if it isn't yet, then add it to the process!

I saw a provider a bunch of times -- hit it off.  She had my real name from screening... She even did a threesome with me and a g.f.  THEN, when I had to cancel once she got all angry and shit....  THEN, she started calling me at the house -- must have used some weird web/internet thing where you can get about anything you want on anybody.  

Anyway, had to change my phone number - never again!

Are you planning on running for office?

You would be surprised how rare I've found that to be.

That only works for ladies that utilizes the resources of ter.
You would be surprised at the number of ladies that are not aware of these resources.

The smart ones know and those are the ones I like to meet.

No, I'm not a public figure and would never want to be.  But keep in mind that in this world of cyber  information gathering, nothing is ever forgotten. Once it's out there it stays out there forever. Spitzer was a smart guy and thought his personal info was safe because the agency told him it was.  He was wrong! And his life, marriage and carreer were destroyed.  They lied to him! What makes you think they don't lie to everyone.

Well stated. It is the  is why I shall never fill the online screening or booking forms. Today potential employers do background checks so you do not have to be a public figure to have your career and life ruined.

It is not how it went. The mob wanted revenge on Spitzer so had people watch his bank account for suspicious activity and when one hit his account they exposed him.

I'll fill out a form, if they don't ask for workplace name and number.  I don't want anyone calling not matter how discrete they are.  I have a nosy boss.  I don't need the boss asking me questions.

If I see a form asking for too much information for my taste, it saddens me for a moment and then I move on.  TER and references have worked fine for me.

I know there are some great providers I will miss out on, but that just means I'll get to enjoy others that I may not have seen originally.

They got a subpoena and got the records from the agency. That agency was not supposed to keep that information but they did. If you don't mind personal info connecting you to an escort agency living forever online then by all means go for it.  I'm just not willing to take that chance.

Well stated!

Currently I'm updating my new website and I have secured the services of a party located on the otherside of the globe. He does excellent work and he's rather upstanding in the UTR community. As long as you explain the nature of your site,design and deposit he is worth the wait. In this business I have learned there are very few people you can rely upon when money or ego is concerned. Im very thankful for the highly professional parties I have shaken hands or winked @ since 2001. Trust is earned and must never be broken for any reason. When it does your reputation and your name won't be worth squat!!....